"My Eminent Serenity" | chapter 18
A/N: Konbanwa minna-san! I'm sorry if this update is kinda late. I was watching 'One Pound of Gospel' a while ago and Yamada was really cute and chubby-er in there! Anyway, this is a short one. I'm really sorry if it's not that nice or exciting. It's just.. it feels like I'm still not on myself today... nahh!~
Self-beta'd. thanks to MSWord-sama for minor corrections. I'm sorry for the grammatical, spelling and any errors.To those who've read and commented to the past chapters, thank you very much!! ^_^
Word Count: 1808 words.
Chapter 18:
"Yuto's Feelings"
-x-x-x-
On the next day, HSJ was summoned early to the Jimusho for their monthly magazine interviews. As what they were instructed, members started to pair with each other the day before but when Yamada was riding a train going to Shibuya, he received a text message from Chinen asking if it's alright for him to be paired up with Yuto instead. Chinen, somehow, suddenly wanted to be paired with Ryutaro.
Yamada, sensing the opportunity for him to have some serious talk with his best friend, agreed to Chinen's request. When he arrived in their dressing room, he found Chinen sitting at Ryutaro's lap.
"Ohayou!" He greeted.
"Ohayou..." The others replied.
"Thanks Yama-chan!" Chinen mouthed as he looked like a king on his slave's lap.
Sitting at Ryutaro's lap wasn't a petty feat with his bratty attitude so Yamada wondered how Chinen tricked their youngest member to let him sit on his lap.
Yamada saw Ryutaro glaring daggers at him. He only chuckled.
As he put his bag on the table, he looked around but didn't spot any Yuto and only his belongings. "Have you seen Yuto-kun, Chii?" He asked.
"He only said he wanted to be on a quiet place." Chinen answered as he started swinging his feet making Ryutaro annoyed.
"Oi, stop it!" The younger retorted. "Didn't I tell you not to move too much?! You should be grateful I let you sit on my lap!"
Chinen had a devilish look on his face as he watched Ryutaro on the corner of his eyes, "Haha, hai Ryuu-sama!" He continued swinging his legs though.
Ryutaro's eyes widened in anger, "I told you to stop it!" He retorted.
"Quiet place...?" Yamada pondered as he let the younger members of HSJ have some personal 'quarrel' time.
"He's at the rooftop..."
Suddenly, Yamada found a light to his unsettled quest of guessing where his friend could be. He turned to Keito who was sitting at the sofa on the corner of the room flipping a travel magazine.
Yamada smiled, "Thanks!" And he went out of their dressing room.
As the elevator doors opened, Yamada was still thinking of what to tell Yuto. Yeah, he maybe his best friend but what happened last night was still too personal. He started stepping his feet forwards and felt the strong morning breeze like it wanted to take away everything he was thinking of.
"Yama-chan! What are you doing here?"
He turned to his right and saw Yuto sitting on a bench under the shade of the roof. His head phones were on his neck and his hat was almost covering his face.
"N-nothing... really..." He lied, "I suddenly just wanted to come up here..."
Yuto smiled, "Sou desu ne." And he put his head phones back to his ears.
Yamada made his way beside Yuto. He was still wondering how he could open up about what happened last night. Yuto seemed to be busy with whatever he was listening so he used the time being for thinking of how he should ask him without sounding like he was prying, which was what he was actually doing.
"Oi,"
Yuto's voice dragged him back to reality, "Hai?"
"You're too quiet, anything you wanna say?"
That was his cue. Somehow, Yamada thought that Yuto has some ESP for him to immediately read unreadable situations. "Ano, are you alright?"
"I think I am..."
Yamada looked at him, "Honestly...?"
He looked away, not wanting to be caught lying. "Yeah!"
"Actually… I saw Himeji-san last night..." Yamada started the ‘prying’…
Yuto's reflexes soften when he heard her name. Everything that happened came back to his mind like it was just a minute ago. "D-did she get home safely?"
"Yeah, I accompanied her since she looked so messed up."
'Messed up... Yeah, I did that to her and I should have known better... I should have done something to avoid it...' He thought as pain engulfed his heart. "Thank you Yama-chan..."
Yamada smiled as he heard Yuto sighed in relief, "If you are worried, you should have not lie to her last night and let her go home alone."
"It's the best thing that I could do." Yuto said while looking at him.
Yamada shook his head, "Lying has never been the best way... I know you like her back Yuto-kun. Why didn't you just tell her when you had the perfect chance to do so?" 'If only you saw how painful it was for her.'
"It's the only way..." Yuto responded Yamada’s confrontation with a calm voice. "Yes, Himeji Ayako is very special to me that is why I don't want her to be in trouble anymore."
His calm voice somehow drained Yamada's frustrated thoughts.
"She used to live peacefully with her pet cats until I barged into her life and messed it up. I'm aware that everything might end up like this but I was too weak to contradict what is making me happy." His smile contained pain, "Remember what happened when our classmates learned about her existence? She was so terrified and I hate seeing her like that just because of me. She is a delicate person that I need to protect and if it requires for me to hide this feeling, then I'll do it. I'll be willing to hurt myself rather than seeing her life getting chaotic because of her involvement to me."
Yamada was in awe. He never thought that Yuto was making a bigger sacrifice for Ayako's sake by suppressing a strong feeling deep inside him. Never in his wildest imagination that Yuto could grow as mature as how he was dealing with his forbidden love to a girl.
"I hope you understand me Yama-chan."
He nodded, "Of course I do and I'm relieved you told me the truth."
"Thank you again."
"But you can't hide it forever. She might stop liking you because she thinks that her feeling is unrequited." He said. Concern was evident on his voice.
Yuto looked straight, to the wonderful view of buildings in front of them, "I was the happiest when I learned last night that we share a mutual feeling and I guess it's enough to keep me going for another year..."
"Another year?"
He nodded, "Have you heard about the Tanabata Confession Tale Yama-chan?!" He inquired.
"Ehh?" Yamada's eyes narrowed. He remembered a classmate telling that trivial tale to them with a deep voice during one of their boring lunch breaks. Yuto was one of those who took that classmate seriously. "You believed that?"
He chuckled, "A bit."
"That tale doesn't make any sense Yuto-kun!"
"It somehow did… last night." 'I know it would rain... Rain isn't a good sign...'
Yamada palmed his face. He couldn't believe the fact that he was actually talking to the realistic Nakajima Yuto.
"Just give me a year and I'll tell her everything... I just need a year to settle things and to make myself stronger so that I could protect her..."
Yamada looked at him smiling, "Gambarimasu..."
Yuto smiled back.
And the elevator doors on the rooftop opened with a 'ting' sound. Both of them looked at its direction and saw Yabu.
"Go downstairs now; it's almost your turn..." Yabu ordered.
-x-x-x-
"AYAKO!" Sumika shouted on the top of her lungs.
It was still early in the morning and she needed to go to the hospital she was working for when she saw her younger sister sitting in front of her laptop playing one of her 'war games' again.
"Nani?" Ayako managed to ask in between quick pressings on her keyboard. She surely looked like in a war zone as her eye glasses glimmered with the lights from the screen.
"How many times should I tell you that you should not use your laptop early in the morning? That will worsen your eye defects!"
'Who cares...?’ She thought.
"If Okaa-san knows about this, you'll be in big trouble again!"
"Okaa-san already know how defected my eyes are." She said. "Just go to your work! I'm in a critical position right now; the base is slowly being taken away by these freakin' terrorists! Why am I with bastard comrades anyway? The BOT should give me better allies! GAHH! I need a plan... a good plan, NO! The best plan ever!" She started rambling.
Sumika sighed as she headed to the door and started wearing her white shoes. She knew she couldn't do or say anything anymore. Her younger sister was already big enough to think for herself.
"Don't go out of the house without telling me..." She said before opening the door in front of her.
"HAI!" Ayako shouted back like she was rather talking to her laptop than to her sister.
Sumika sighed again. 'She won't change anymore, that coward war freak...' She stepped out to the doorway and closed the door behind her.
As she heard the door closed, Ayako's 'war freak' look changed into a different one, a facial expression showing depression, pain and tiredness. She exited the game's window on the screen and closed her laptop.
She went to their couch and lay flat. If only she could tell her older sister how depressed and frustrated she was, everything might become easier to take but she was shy and afraid to tell her.
'How about Michiko?'
That would be a fatal act. Michiko didn't know anything about her involvement with Yuto and if she tells her now, she knew it will lead to another problem to take care of.
'I'll tell her later.'
Suddenly, she felt a tingling and cold feeling on her ankle. She looked at it and saw three of her cats sitting nearby; one of them was licking her foot.
"Yuki-chan..." She called out as she sat up and took the cat to her arms.
She remembered that Yuto's favorite among her cats was Yuki and smiled. "Nehh Yuki, maybe Yuto-kun likes you more than me so maybe I could give you to him, what do you think?"
"Meow...” Yuki sounded disagreeing.
Ayako chuckled, "Joke! Of course I won't give you to him. Don't worry...!"
"Meow, meow..." Yuki sounded like she was chewing off Ayako for saying jokes like that.
Ayako slid her body back to a lying position with Yuki still within her embrace. "Gomen ne, I think I did the wrong thing last night. Maybe Yuto-kun won't come here anymore.... Maybe he now hates me for confessing..."
'Maybe it's rather nice to start staying away from him...'
-x-x-x-
Thanks for reading!
Comments are loved... ^_^
Next chapter: Click here! ~
Self-beta'd. thanks to MSWord-sama for minor corrections. I'm sorry for the grammatical, spelling and any errors.To those who've read and commented to the past chapters, thank you very much!! ^_^
Word Count: 1808 words.
Chapter 18:
"Yuto's Feelings"
-x-x-x-
On the next day, HSJ was summoned early to the Jimusho for their monthly magazine interviews. As what they were instructed, members started to pair with each other the day before but when Yamada was riding a train going to Shibuya, he received a text message from Chinen asking if it's alright for him to be paired up with Yuto instead. Chinen, somehow, suddenly wanted to be paired with Ryutaro.
Yamada, sensing the opportunity for him to have some serious talk with his best friend, agreed to Chinen's request. When he arrived in their dressing room, he found Chinen sitting at Ryutaro's lap.
"Ohayou!" He greeted.
"Ohayou..." The others replied.
"Thanks Yama-chan!" Chinen mouthed as he looked like a king on his slave's lap.
Sitting at Ryutaro's lap wasn't a petty feat with his bratty attitude so Yamada wondered how Chinen tricked their youngest member to let him sit on his lap.
Yamada saw Ryutaro glaring daggers at him. He only chuckled.
As he put his bag on the table, he looked around but didn't spot any Yuto and only his belongings. "Have you seen Yuto-kun, Chii?" He asked.
"He only said he wanted to be on a quiet place." Chinen answered as he started swinging his feet making Ryutaro annoyed.
"Oi, stop it!" The younger retorted. "Didn't I tell you not to move too much?! You should be grateful I let you sit on my lap!"
Chinen had a devilish look on his face as he watched Ryutaro on the corner of his eyes, "Haha, hai Ryuu-sama!" He continued swinging his legs though.
Ryutaro's eyes widened in anger, "I told you to stop it!" He retorted.
"Quiet place...?" Yamada pondered as he let the younger members of HSJ have some personal 'quarrel' time.
"He's at the rooftop..."
Suddenly, Yamada found a light to his unsettled quest of guessing where his friend could be. He turned to Keito who was sitting at the sofa on the corner of the room flipping a travel magazine.
Yamada smiled, "Thanks!" And he went out of their dressing room.
As the elevator doors opened, Yamada was still thinking of what to tell Yuto. Yeah, he maybe his best friend but what happened last night was still too personal. He started stepping his feet forwards and felt the strong morning breeze like it wanted to take away everything he was thinking of.
"Yama-chan! What are you doing here?"
He turned to his right and saw Yuto sitting on a bench under the shade of the roof. His head phones were on his neck and his hat was almost covering his face.
"N-nothing... really..." He lied, "I suddenly just wanted to come up here..."
Yuto smiled, "Sou desu ne." And he put his head phones back to his ears.
Yamada made his way beside Yuto. He was still wondering how he could open up about what happened last night. Yuto seemed to be busy with whatever he was listening so he used the time being for thinking of how he should ask him without sounding like he was prying, which was what he was actually doing.
"Oi,"
Yuto's voice dragged him back to reality, "Hai?"
"You're too quiet, anything you wanna say?"
That was his cue. Somehow, Yamada thought that Yuto has some ESP for him to immediately read unreadable situations. "Ano, are you alright?"
"I think I am..."
Yamada looked at him, "Honestly...?"
He looked away, not wanting to be caught lying. "Yeah!"
"Actually… I saw Himeji-san last night..." Yamada started the ‘prying’…
Yuto's reflexes soften when he heard her name. Everything that happened came back to his mind like it was just a minute ago. "D-did she get home safely?"
"Yeah, I accompanied her since she looked so messed up."
'Messed up... Yeah, I did that to her and I should have known better... I should have done something to avoid it...' He thought as pain engulfed his heart. "Thank you Yama-chan..."
Yamada smiled as he heard Yuto sighed in relief, "If you are worried, you should have not lie to her last night and let her go home alone."
"It's the best thing that I could do." Yuto said while looking at him.
Yamada shook his head, "Lying has never been the best way... I know you like her back Yuto-kun. Why didn't you just tell her when you had the perfect chance to do so?" 'If only you saw how painful it was for her.'
"It's the only way..." Yuto responded Yamada’s confrontation with a calm voice. "Yes, Himeji Ayako is very special to me that is why I don't want her to be in trouble anymore."
His calm voice somehow drained Yamada's frustrated thoughts.
"She used to live peacefully with her pet cats until I barged into her life and messed it up. I'm aware that everything might end up like this but I was too weak to contradict what is making me happy." His smile contained pain, "Remember what happened when our classmates learned about her existence? She was so terrified and I hate seeing her like that just because of me. She is a delicate person that I need to protect and if it requires for me to hide this feeling, then I'll do it. I'll be willing to hurt myself rather than seeing her life getting chaotic because of her involvement to me."
Yamada was in awe. He never thought that Yuto was making a bigger sacrifice for Ayako's sake by suppressing a strong feeling deep inside him. Never in his wildest imagination that Yuto could grow as mature as how he was dealing with his forbidden love to a girl.
"I hope you understand me Yama-chan."
He nodded, "Of course I do and I'm relieved you told me the truth."
"Thank you again."
"But you can't hide it forever. She might stop liking you because she thinks that her feeling is unrequited." He said. Concern was evident on his voice.
Yuto looked straight, to the wonderful view of buildings in front of them, "I was the happiest when I learned last night that we share a mutual feeling and I guess it's enough to keep me going for another year..."
"Another year?"
He nodded, "Have you heard about the Tanabata Confession Tale Yama-chan?!" He inquired.
"Ehh?" Yamada's eyes narrowed. He remembered a classmate telling that trivial tale to them with a deep voice during one of their boring lunch breaks. Yuto was one of those who took that classmate seriously. "You believed that?"
He chuckled, "A bit."
"That tale doesn't make any sense Yuto-kun!"
"It somehow did… last night." 'I know it would rain... Rain isn't a good sign...'
Yamada palmed his face. He couldn't believe the fact that he was actually talking to the realistic Nakajima Yuto.
"Just give me a year and I'll tell her everything... I just need a year to settle things and to make myself stronger so that I could protect her..."
Yamada looked at him smiling, "Gambarimasu..."
Yuto smiled back.
And the elevator doors on the rooftop opened with a 'ting' sound. Both of them looked at its direction and saw Yabu.
"Go downstairs now; it's almost your turn..." Yabu ordered.
-x-x-x-
"AYAKO!" Sumika shouted on the top of her lungs.
It was still early in the morning and she needed to go to the hospital she was working for when she saw her younger sister sitting in front of her laptop playing one of her 'war games' again.
"Nani?" Ayako managed to ask in between quick pressings on her keyboard. She surely looked like in a war zone as her eye glasses glimmered with the lights from the screen.
"How many times should I tell you that you should not use your laptop early in the morning? That will worsen your eye defects!"
'Who cares...?’ She thought.
"If Okaa-san knows about this, you'll be in big trouble again!"
"Okaa-san already know how defected my eyes are." She said. "Just go to your work! I'm in a critical position right now; the base is slowly being taken away by these freakin' terrorists! Why am I with bastard comrades anyway? The BOT should give me better allies! GAHH! I need a plan... a good plan, NO! The best plan ever!" She started rambling.
Sumika sighed as she headed to the door and started wearing her white shoes. She knew she couldn't do or say anything anymore. Her younger sister was already big enough to think for herself.
"Don't go out of the house without telling me..." She said before opening the door in front of her.
"HAI!" Ayako shouted back like she was rather talking to her laptop than to her sister.
Sumika sighed again. 'She won't change anymore, that coward war freak...' She stepped out to the doorway and closed the door behind her.
As she heard the door closed, Ayako's 'war freak' look changed into a different one, a facial expression showing depression, pain and tiredness. She exited the game's window on the screen and closed her laptop.
She went to their couch and lay flat. If only she could tell her older sister how depressed and frustrated she was, everything might become easier to take but she was shy and afraid to tell her.
'How about Michiko?'
That would be a fatal act. Michiko didn't know anything about her involvement with Yuto and if she tells her now, she knew it will lead to another problem to take care of.
'I'll tell her later.'
Suddenly, she felt a tingling and cold feeling on her ankle. She looked at it and saw three of her cats sitting nearby; one of them was licking her foot.
"Yuki-chan..." She called out as she sat up and took the cat to her arms.
She remembered that Yuto's favorite among her cats was Yuki and smiled. "Nehh Yuki, maybe Yuto-kun likes you more than me so maybe I could give you to him, what do you think?"
"Meow...” Yuki sounded disagreeing.
Ayako chuckled, "Joke! Of course I won't give you to him. Don't worry...!"
"Meow, meow..." Yuki sounded like she was chewing off Ayako for saying jokes like that.
Ayako slid her body back to a lying position with Yuki still within her embrace. "Gomen ne, I think I did the wrong thing last night. Maybe Yuto-kun won't come here anymore.... Maybe he now hates me for confessing..."
'Maybe it's rather nice to start staying away from him...'
-x-x-x-
Thanks for reading!
Comments are loved... ^_^
Next chapter: Click here! ~