fic: Hiding in Plain Sight
Title: Hiding in Plain Sight
Author: wildcard_47
Characters: Peggy, with mentions of Don and Pete
Rating: G
Warnings: Mild spoilers through Episode 2x8, "A Night to Remember."
Disclaimer: Tragically, I don't own Mad Men. Is anyone caught unawares by this fact?
For years, Peggy Olson’s felt that a part of her has been invisible, just hiding underneath the surface.
She first noticed the disquiet while she was just another girl in the steno pool. Any bit of her that didn’t fit into a man’s disgusting fantasies - anything above her neck, to be honest - was invisible at Sterling Cooper. She hated the cruelty of those men, the jokes they made; their complete disregard for other people.
So, Peggy tried hard to rise above low expectations. Tried to prove she had merit and worth, that she was desirable for being herself, and not just for having a pair of nice ankles. It was how she’d ended up with Pete. She’d made a conscious choice to sleep with him that night. But Pete eventually made it clear she was still invisible to him, if not by existence alone, then definitely by his choice.
Sometimes, now, Peggy catches his eye during meetings. He looks at her like she’s an oasis and he’s dying of thirst, but he’ll never truly see her. Pete only sees what he wants in people and she refuses to be that girl for him anymore.
When the Belle Jolie account came along, Peggy felt a spark of inspiration, a purpose. She took the innate invisibility given to her and used it as a weapon. She used her weight as a way to distinguish herself from the rest of the secretaries. She kept mentally repeating that it was better to have “too much lunch” than to be noticed and ogled and humiliated like the other girls. She allowed herself to indulge, and it seemed to pay off.
But Peggy hadn’t just been fat, and that’s where the problem lay. She hadn’t listened to the niggling voice in the back of her head, the unnamed suspicion that had tortured her for months. She couldn’t listen to anyone; not to the doctors, not to her family. Not even to the plaintive cries of her son. The knowledge that she had been…expecting….all that time…it broke her. She hadn’t realized just how much until the morning she’d woken to find Don Draper at her bedside.
Peggy, listen to me. Get out of here and move forward.
Every so often, when the office is quiet and most of the executives - both account and creative - have snuck away for the afternoon, she still hears Don’s words echo in her ears. And they only serve to drive her harder towards her goal. He was right, though; she’s still surprised at how quickly she was able to forget. She’s become Miss Olson, Sterling Cooper’s newest copy writer. She’s a successful daughter and sister, as well as an aunt to two - no, three -- young children.
Peggy now uses her invisibility to hide secrets from the world, to project a confident, happy air to anyone who looks closely. Most of the time, she feels just like her projected image. She’s gotten enough experience during the past two years to find and exude an inner confidence, in an advertising presentation, at least.
Yet every time Father John Gill looks closely at her, her shield wavers. One day, he’ll find just the right chink in her armor, with his piercing, concerned queries, and she won’t be able to hide.
She’ll be put in plain sight, every single bit of her -- and the thought of it is terrifying.
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Mods, please let me know if my formatting is off in any noticeable way. Thanks!