Pieces (8/16)
Title: Pieces
Pairing: Rachel/Santana, Shelby
Length:52,788
Spoilers: Up to season 3
Summary: Rachel never expected to find out she's a werewolf, and once the reality of it sinks in, she feels like a monster. Surprisingly enough there's someone unexpected who helps her keep onto the humanity inside her.
Note: This is written for the Glee Big Bang.
Rachel woke up that morning in her bed and she groaned as she shoved her face into the pillow. When had she gotten there? After a few minutes of just closing her eyes she forced herself to get up even though she really didn’t want to.
She didn’t want to get up and face the glares from Finn, or the friendly gestures from Puck, or the possible questions and insight from Brittany. Mostly, she didn’t want to face Santana. She didn’t want to face her and the mixed signals she got from the girl and the lingering looks that Rachel didn’t know what to think of.
In the end, she pushed herself up and sat up in bed. She looked at her phone, checking the time, and groaned. It was well past the time school started, and Rachel really didn’t have the energy to go through what was left of school.
She flipped open her phone and called her dad, Leroy. He had always been the more compassionate one of her dads, which was why she usually went to him for things. She had told him she was feeling well, which he believed, and called her sick.
Once she hung up she laid back down in bed and stared at the ceiling again. It would be so easy, to just stay like that every day and everyone could forget her and then she wouldn’t have to worry so much. She threw the idea out, though, because it was impossible. That would never happen.
It seemed like nothing was going like she wanted anymore.
After what had seemed like an eternity, she willed herself to get out of bed. She was thinking of checking her calendar and seeing how many days she had left until the full moon, but decided against that. She didn’t need a reminder of what she was at the moment.
She the realized she was still in her clothes from yesterday. Sighing, she got out of bed and changed into some pajama pants and a plain shirt. Now that she was up, she walked downstairs and headed for the couch. She really didn’t want to watch tv, but she didn’t want to stay in bed all day. That was just depressing. So Rachel figured maybe the couch would be slightly less depressing.
Rachel laid down on it and stared at the ceiling again. What was she going to do for the day? Before she hardly ever missed school, and when she did she was genuinely sick. She supposed she could go and read the books on werewolves but she wasn’t in the mood for that.
Really, she wasn’t in the mood for anything anymore.
She sighed and closed her eyes, hoping to get some sleep instead. In the end, it seemed she did, because the next thing she knew she was being shaken awake. She groaned and turned on her side and she heard a light laugh.
“Come on, Rachel, wake up.” She opened her eyes and looked to see Leroy sitting at the edge of the couch. She smiled softly and started to sit up.
“Rachel, you got a bed for that.” Hiram sighed and Rachel looked up to see him standing over and Leroy. He still had his work clothes, and Rachel knew he had just gotten home from work. Leroy looked up at him disapprovingly.
“Hiram, she’s sick.” Hiram looked at Rachel and raised an eyebrow.
“Oh really?” He asked as he looked at Rachel carefully. Rachel looked down and stood up.
“I’m going to bed.” She gave each of them a quick kiss and quickly walked up to her room. She collapsed onto her bed and closed her eyes again. Her dad getting suspicious was the last thing she wanted. It was easy to fool Leroy, but Hiram was a different story. She supposed that was why Hiram was more of the authority figure in the family.
She groaned and willed herself to sleep, but it was useless. In the end, she stayed in bed pretending to sleep. Unfortunately, she didn’t actually fall asleep until early morning.
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The next morning she was exhausted, but she forced herself to get up and go to school. When she got to school, she headed to her locker, glad Puck wasn’t waiting for her this time. She got her books and walked down the hall to class.
She turned the corner and saw Brittany, Quinn, and Santana talking to each other. She thought of maybe pushing Brittany away by telling her to not talk to her again, that she didn’t want to be friends. But that seemed too cruel. Brittany only wanted to be kind and Rachel didn’t have the heart to say cruel words to her.
So Rachel was going to run form her, the least hurtful way to hurt her. She was already doing it with everyone else. She turned another corner before the three saw her and she ended up crashing into Shelby. Rachel groaned and was about to walk past her, but Shelby stopped her.
“Rachel, where were you yesterday?” Shelby asked and Rachel sighed.
“What does it matter? I’m here now, aren’t I?” Rachel said.
“It matters because I was worried about you.” Rachel sighed and nodded.
“I’m fine, really.” The bell rang and Shelby sighed.
“Well you are her now, I guess. Well, get to class before you’re late.” Rachel nodded and walked to class, luckily not running into Brittany, Quinn, or Santana on the way.
In the classes she had with the people she knew, she tried to ignore them as much as possible. Most of them got the idea or got frustrated and stopped talking to her after a while.
Puck, though, was harder to shove away. She could do it to everyone else, but it was like he knew what she was doing. He kept trying to talk to her, and even when he stopped trying to get a conversation out of her, she could feel him watching her. As soon as the bell rang she got out of her desk and walked as fast as she could down the hall, but Puck easily kept up. He grabbed her shoulder and spun her around.
“Hey, what’s up?” He asked, frowning.
“Nothing, Noah, I’m just going through my day.” Puck raised an eyebrow.
“Yeah, and shutting me out.” Rachel sighed.
“Look you’ve been a good friend but I need some time to myself,” Rachel said and Puck could hear how tired her voice sounded. As he looked at her he noticed she just seemed…tired. No, more like exhausted and Puck had no idea why but he didn’t like it. “Bye.” Rachel said, never meeting Puck’s eyes. Just as she was turning around Puck spoke up again.
“I know what you’re doing,” Puck said, making Rachel pause. “I’ve seen people do it all the time. They shove everyone away when they give up and ready to throw it all away. I’m not letting this go, Rachel.” Puck watched Rachel stand still, as if considering what to do next, before leaving without a word. Puck watched her walk away, and he knew something was going on in her life. He didn’t know what, but he was going to help her out, whether she wanted it or not.
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Rachel sighed as she sank into her seat in class. She hadn’t expected Puck to be so determined to have her let him in. She recalled the conversation they just had and feared that he also knew something was different with her. Forget that, he did know something was wrong with her.
Luckily, no one she talked to was in that class, so she spent the period figuring out ways to avoid Puck. She couldn’t let him in, she couldn’t.
After the period was over, she had lunch. Even though she was hungry, she didn’t want to go to the cafeteria, where everyone was at, including Puck. So she went to the auditorium, where it seemed like she was going everyday now.
She walked in and laid down in the middle of the stage again and closed her eyes. After a few minutes she heard the door open again, but she didn’t bother opening her eyes. The person kept walking up to her until they were right in front of her, but she still didn’t open her eyes. Not that she needed to, she had idea who it was.
“Did you eat?” Just as Rachel thought, it was Shelby who had walked in.
“Maybe.” Rachel said and turned around, away from Shelby, as if that would make her go away. Who knew, maybe it would. That was what Rachel hoped for at least.
“You didn’t, I can tell.” Rachel sighed.
“How in the world can you possibly now that?” Rachel asked. “Your wolfy senses?” Rachel joked.
“Yes.” Shelby said and at that Rachel’s eyes napped open and she looked at Shelby.
“Seriously?” Rachel asked, not knowing if Shelby was being serious. Shelby gave her an amused grin and handed her a plastic container full of salad. Rachel took it and the plastic for Shelby handed her. Rachel watched Shelby go to a chair and start eating her own lunch. Rachel sighed and looked at the salad in her heand before eating it as well. Rachel was surprised by the silence, usually Shelby tried talking to her. Instead, they were quietly eating their food. Rachel kept looking at the ground while Shelby watched Rachel as she ate.
“You done ?” Shelby asked when it was near the end of the period. Rachel nodded and Shelby got up and took Rachel’s empty plastic container. Shelby gave her a smile before walking out of the auditorium in a hurry, leaving Rachel looking at her retreating figure confused.
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After Shelby had thrown away the food, she walked to the student cafeteria and looked around. Finally finding the person she was looking for, she walked to the table.
“Santana,” Santana looked up from her table, surprised. “Can we talk?” Santana nodded and got up. She followed Shelby out of the cafeteria, to the classroom Shelby taught in.
“What’s up?” Santana asked, confused why Shelby pulled them into a class room. Shelby sighed and leaned against her desk.
“You’ve been watching Rachel, right?” Santana nodded. She recalled all of the times she talked to Rachel lately, and how the girl looked were every time she talked to her. “You’ve seen how skinny she’s gotten, then.”
“Yeah,” Santana said grimly. That was another thing she noticed, along with the bags under Rachel’s eyes. “What’s going on with her?” Santana asked softly and Shelby was silent at that.
“She’s going through a lot.” Shelby said finally and Santana looked at her angrily.
“If you know what’s going on, why don’t you do something then?” Santana asked harshly and Shelby sighed.
“I am trying, but I can’t help her by myself,” Shelby wished she could explain to Santana exactly how she was helping, but she knew she couldn’t. “That’s why I need you.”
“What do you need me to do?” Shelby smiled.
“Take her out to eat, she needs food and I don’t know if she’s eating enough at home.” Before, she would have refused to go out in public with Rachel Berry, but things were different now. Now she could see there was something wrong with her, and with the lack of sleep she seemed to get every month, the weight loss, and sometimes extreme mood swings, Santana was actually worried.
“Sure, I’ll get the midget to eat.” Santana said and Shelby smiled gratefully.
“Thank you Santana, you have no idea what this means to me.” Shelby said and Santana knew she didn’t, but she couldn’t watch Rachel deteriorate and not do anything anymore.
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Rachel walked into the class she shared with Santana, surprised that Santana was there before her. Santana was usually one of the last people to come in, and Rachel was sure she wasn’t late this time. She walked to her desk and gave Santana a small smile.
“Hello, Santana.” She didn’t know where they stood now after all the times Santana helped her and talked to her, and she wasn’t sure why she decided to greet Santana. But she did and Santana looked up and nodded at her.
“Berry.” Santana said as Rachel sat into her seat. The two didn’t talk to each other the rest of the period, and Rachel was glad. Maybe it was going to be easier than she thought to shove Santana away.
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Santana walked into the auditorium, intent to do what Shelby told her. She sat down and watched as Rachel walked in last to West Side Story practice. She watched the way Rachel kept her head down and ignored everyone and Santana raised an eyebrow at that, but didn’t say anything. At this point, she was almost used to Rachel being distant from everyone.
When practice was over, with her and Rachel being the last ones left, she watched Rachel quickly gather her things. Santana quickly stepped in front of Rachel just as the girl turned around to walk away, and Rachel took a step back in surprise.
“Santana, what are you doing?” Rachel asked, irritated. All she wanted to do was go home and hide in her room all day.
“I’m taking you out to eat.” Santana said and Rachel gaped at her.
“What? Santana, I-“ Rachel’s voice died when Santana grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the auditorium. “Santana, let me go,” Rachel said but Santana ignored her. “Please, this-this isn’t a good idea.” Rachel saw Santana’s car and as they got closer Rachel struggled harder, but in the end it was no use. It was too far from the full moon and Santana had a death grip on her.
When they reached the car, Santana shoved Rachel against the passenger side door. Rachel winced at the impact and before she had a chance of escaping, Santana slammed her hands on the car either side of her. She was trapped. Rachel looked down nervously as Santana stared at her. After a few seconds of silence, Santana moved a hand and put it on Rachel’s ribs, making the shorter girl’s breath hitch.
“Santana…” Rachel said, not liking what was happening at all.
“You haven’t been eating right,” Santana said and Rachel bit her lip. “Why?”
“Look, I have to go…” Rachel tried to shove Santana away, but Santana stepped closer to Rachel and pinned her body against hers. Rachel took a deep breath at the feel of Santana’s body against hers, and she was sure she heard Santana’s breath hitch at the touch as well.
“You’re not going anywhere until you tell me what’s going on.” Santana said and Rachel wanted to scream. She didn’t want this to happen. She wanted everyone to leave her alone, for their benefit.
“Please…let me go…” Rachel said softly and she stopped struggling.
“What’s going on with you?” Santana asked. “Look at yourself, you’re a stick, you look sick, and you’re shoving everyone away when you always got in their faces to say something annoyingly long,” Santana said and Rachel looked away guiltily. She couldn’t tell Santana why she was different. “I want to help you.” Rachel felt a wave of anger wash over her. Why did Santana want to help now? Why now when it was something no one could help her with? And even if they could, Rachel wouldn’t let them. She just barely started to let Shelby help her.
“I don’t want anyone’s help.” Rachel said and Santana sighed.
“Well, you’re getting it.” Santana said and Rachel scoffed.
“From you? Don’t make me laugh.” Santana scowled. She didn’t blame Rachel for not trusting her, but it still made her angry.
“Hell yeah from me. Now get in the damn car before I go all Lima Heights on your ass.” Rachel looked up and glared at Santana, who glared back. They stayed like that for a few minutes, silently challenging each other, before Rachel turned around and got into the car. Santana sighed in relief and got into the driver’s side and looked at Rachel, who was glaring out the window. Santana sighed and started driving, hopefully she had the hardest part done with.
After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence they pulled up to Santana's choice of eating out, and Rachel had to roll her eyes. Breadstix. She looked at Santana, who had a childish grin on her face as she stared at the restaurant.
Santana got out of the car and Rachel did the same and followed her inside. They got a table quickly, more quickly than Rachel had before, and she guessed that was from Santana being regular. They slid into the booth and Rachel looked at the menu, looking at the solid selection. It wasn't too bad, but Rachel thought it could be better. After they both ordered their food and the waiter took their menus, they sat in silence.
"So…" Santana began. "What’d you get?" She was hoping to get some kind of answer a Rachel. The short girl was way too quiet for her liking.
"Salad," Rachel said with a shrug and became quiet again. Santana watched Rachel sit stiffly in her seat.
"Rachel," Santana said. "I'm not going to hurt you, you know?"
Rachel slowly looked up before looking away. "That's hard to believe," Rachel said and Santana leaned forward.
"I'm being serious, you can talk about Streisand and I won't give you shit."
Rachel couldn't help but laugh lately at that. She looked at Santana, who looked at her softly and with giving her an encouraging smile. Rachel wanted to, and should have, ignored Santana's attempts. She thought of walking out and shutting Santana out completely. Maybe even yell at her and tell her to never talk to her again. At least, that was what she should have done.
But a part of her, the old current that always thought she was an average human, told her she should give Santana a chance. Let her in. Before she could debate any longer, the food came out and was placed in front of Rachel and Santana.
"Sweet, time to eat," Santana grinned, eating her own food.
Rachel sighed and started eating two. Unlike Santana, though, Rachel a lot slower, so Santana finished long before Rachel did. Santana leaned back and watched her eat, only frowning when Rachel put her fork down with food still on her plate.
"You have to eat," Santana said and Rachel shook her head. "Rachel…"
"Why do you care so much?" Rachel asked. Maybe if Santana gave her a straight answer Rachel would understand Santana more.
"Because I'm worried," Santana replied easily. "And I'm not the only one. Other people are worried too."
"You don't need to worry," Rachel said and honestly, she didn't want anyone to worry. She didn't deserve anyone's sympathy.
"Why do you keep refusing my help?" Santana asked, confused.
"Because it's for the best."
Santana sighed. "No, it's not. Look at you, you've changed your clothes and they're baggy on you."
Rachel looked down, knowing Santana meant the jeans and shirt that were hanging off of her.
"My skirts just slide off," Rachel said quietly and Santana looked at her softly.
"You're starving yourself, so," she leaned forward and reached out, pushing Rachel's plate forward. "Eat."
Rachel looked up at Santana, who looked as if she wasn't going to take no for an answer. Sighing, she picked up her fork and started eating again, making Santana smile. Santana leaned back and watched Rachel eat.
"I don't know what's going on yet, but you can't push me away like everyone else. You're stuck with me, Berry, and I'm going to help you," Santana said.
Instead of replying, Rachel concentrated on eating her food.
After they had finished eating, Santana had paid and go to Rachel's house to drop her off. The ride was quiet, mostly because both girls were trying to figure out what the other was thinking. When they reach Rachel's house, Santana parked her car but neither moved.
"Santana," Rachel spoke up and Santana looked at her. Rachel was staring in front of her, refusing to meet Santana's eyes.
"Thank you, but you shouldn't pry into my personal life any longer."
Santana rolled her eyes. "It's not mine, it's helping you. I want to know what's wrong and help you through it."
Rachel finally looked at Santana, and Santana was taken aback by the coldness in her eyes.
"No, you don't want to know, and it's better that you don't."
Rachel got out of the car and went inside, leaving Santana speechless in the car.
"I'm not giving up on you," Santana whispered to herself before driving away. She didn't care what Rachel said, she was going to force her way in and help Rachel, one way or another.
Pairing: Rachel/Santana, Shelby
Length:52,788
Spoilers: Up to season 3
Summary: Rachel never expected to find out she's a werewolf, and once the reality of it sinks in, she feels like a monster. Surprisingly enough there's someone unexpected who helps her keep onto the humanity inside her.
Note: This is written for the Glee Big Bang.
Rachel woke up that morning in her bed and she groaned as she shoved her face into the pillow. When had she gotten there? After a few minutes of just closing her eyes she forced herself to get up even though she really didn’t want to.
She didn’t want to get up and face the glares from Finn, or the friendly gestures from Puck, or the possible questions and insight from Brittany. Mostly, she didn’t want to face Santana. She didn’t want to face her and the mixed signals she got from the girl and the lingering looks that Rachel didn’t know what to think of.
In the end, she pushed herself up and sat up in bed. She looked at her phone, checking the time, and groaned. It was well past the time school started, and Rachel really didn’t have the energy to go through what was left of school.
She flipped open her phone and called her dad, Leroy. He had always been the more compassionate one of her dads, which was why she usually went to him for things. She had told him she was feeling well, which he believed, and called her sick.
Once she hung up she laid back down in bed and stared at the ceiling again. It would be so easy, to just stay like that every day and everyone could forget her and then she wouldn’t have to worry so much. She threw the idea out, though, because it was impossible. That would never happen.
It seemed like nothing was going like she wanted anymore.
After what had seemed like an eternity, she willed herself to get out of bed. She was thinking of checking her calendar and seeing how many days she had left until the full moon, but decided against that. She didn’t need a reminder of what she was at the moment.
She the realized she was still in her clothes from yesterday. Sighing, she got out of bed and changed into some pajama pants and a plain shirt. Now that she was up, she walked downstairs and headed for the couch. She really didn’t want to watch tv, but she didn’t want to stay in bed all day. That was just depressing. So Rachel figured maybe the couch would be slightly less depressing.
Rachel laid down on it and stared at the ceiling again. What was she going to do for the day? Before she hardly ever missed school, and when she did she was genuinely sick. She supposed she could go and read the books on werewolves but she wasn’t in the mood for that.
Really, she wasn’t in the mood for anything anymore.
She sighed and closed her eyes, hoping to get some sleep instead. In the end, it seemed she did, because the next thing she knew she was being shaken awake. She groaned and turned on her side and she heard a light laugh.
“Come on, Rachel, wake up.” She opened her eyes and looked to see Leroy sitting at the edge of the couch. She smiled softly and started to sit up.
“Rachel, you got a bed for that.” Hiram sighed and Rachel looked up to see him standing over and Leroy. He still had his work clothes, and Rachel knew he had just gotten home from work. Leroy looked up at him disapprovingly.
“Hiram, she’s sick.” Hiram looked at Rachel and raised an eyebrow.
“Oh really?” He asked as he looked at Rachel carefully. Rachel looked down and stood up.
“I’m going to bed.” She gave each of them a quick kiss and quickly walked up to her room. She collapsed onto her bed and closed her eyes again. Her dad getting suspicious was the last thing she wanted. It was easy to fool Leroy, but Hiram was a different story. She supposed that was why Hiram was more of the authority figure in the family.
She groaned and willed herself to sleep, but it was useless. In the end, she stayed in bed pretending to sleep. Unfortunately, she didn’t actually fall asleep until early morning.
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The next morning she was exhausted, but she forced herself to get up and go to school. When she got to school, she headed to her locker, glad Puck wasn’t waiting for her this time. She got her books and walked down the hall to class.
She turned the corner and saw Brittany, Quinn, and Santana talking to each other. She thought of maybe pushing Brittany away by telling her to not talk to her again, that she didn’t want to be friends. But that seemed too cruel. Brittany only wanted to be kind and Rachel didn’t have the heart to say cruel words to her.
So Rachel was going to run form her, the least hurtful way to hurt her. She was already doing it with everyone else. She turned another corner before the three saw her and she ended up crashing into Shelby. Rachel groaned and was about to walk past her, but Shelby stopped her.
“Rachel, where were you yesterday?” Shelby asked and Rachel sighed.
“What does it matter? I’m here now, aren’t I?” Rachel said.
“It matters because I was worried about you.” Rachel sighed and nodded.
“I’m fine, really.” The bell rang and Shelby sighed.
“Well you are her now, I guess. Well, get to class before you’re late.” Rachel nodded and walked to class, luckily not running into Brittany, Quinn, or Santana on the way.
In the classes she had with the people she knew, she tried to ignore them as much as possible. Most of them got the idea or got frustrated and stopped talking to her after a while.
Puck, though, was harder to shove away. She could do it to everyone else, but it was like he knew what she was doing. He kept trying to talk to her, and even when he stopped trying to get a conversation out of her, she could feel him watching her. As soon as the bell rang she got out of her desk and walked as fast as she could down the hall, but Puck easily kept up. He grabbed her shoulder and spun her around.
“Hey, what’s up?” He asked, frowning.
“Nothing, Noah, I’m just going through my day.” Puck raised an eyebrow.
“Yeah, and shutting me out.” Rachel sighed.
“Look you’ve been a good friend but I need some time to myself,” Rachel said and Puck could hear how tired her voice sounded. As he looked at her he noticed she just seemed…tired. No, more like exhausted and Puck had no idea why but he didn’t like it. “Bye.” Rachel said, never meeting Puck’s eyes. Just as she was turning around Puck spoke up again.
“I know what you’re doing,” Puck said, making Rachel pause. “I’ve seen people do it all the time. They shove everyone away when they give up and ready to throw it all away. I’m not letting this go, Rachel.” Puck watched Rachel stand still, as if considering what to do next, before leaving without a word. Puck watched her walk away, and he knew something was going on in her life. He didn’t know what, but he was going to help her out, whether she wanted it or not.
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Rachel sighed as she sank into her seat in class. She hadn’t expected Puck to be so determined to have her let him in. She recalled the conversation they just had and feared that he also knew something was different with her. Forget that, he did know something was wrong with her.
Luckily, no one she talked to was in that class, so she spent the period figuring out ways to avoid Puck. She couldn’t let him in, she couldn’t.
After the period was over, she had lunch. Even though she was hungry, she didn’t want to go to the cafeteria, where everyone was at, including Puck. So she went to the auditorium, where it seemed like she was going everyday now.
She walked in and laid down in the middle of the stage again and closed her eyes. After a few minutes she heard the door open again, but she didn’t bother opening her eyes. The person kept walking up to her until they were right in front of her, but she still didn’t open her eyes. Not that she needed to, she had idea who it was.
“Did you eat?” Just as Rachel thought, it was Shelby who had walked in.
“Maybe.” Rachel said and turned around, away from Shelby, as if that would make her go away. Who knew, maybe it would. That was what Rachel hoped for at least.
“You didn’t, I can tell.” Rachel sighed.
“How in the world can you possibly now that?” Rachel asked. “Your wolfy senses?” Rachel joked.
“Yes.” Shelby said and at that Rachel’s eyes napped open and she looked at Shelby.
“Seriously?” Rachel asked, not knowing if Shelby was being serious. Shelby gave her an amused grin and handed her a plastic container full of salad. Rachel took it and the plastic for Shelby handed her. Rachel watched Shelby go to a chair and start eating her own lunch. Rachel sighed and looked at the salad in her heand before eating it as well. Rachel was surprised by the silence, usually Shelby tried talking to her. Instead, they were quietly eating their food. Rachel kept looking at the ground while Shelby watched Rachel as she ate.
“You done ?” Shelby asked when it was near the end of the period. Rachel nodded and Shelby got up and took Rachel’s empty plastic container. Shelby gave her a smile before walking out of the auditorium in a hurry, leaving Rachel looking at her retreating figure confused.
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After Shelby had thrown away the food, she walked to the student cafeteria and looked around. Finally finding the person she was looking for, she walked to the table.
“Santana,” Santana looked up from her table, surprised. “Can we talk?” Santana nodded and got up. She followed Shelby out of the cafeteria, to the classroom Shelby taught in.
“What’s up?” Santana asked, confused why Shelby pulled them into a class room. Shelby sighed and leaned against her desk.
“You’ve been watching Rachel, right?” Santana nodded. She recalled all of the times she talked to Rachel lately, and how the girl looked were every time she talked to her. “You’ve seen how skinny she’s gotten, then.”
“Yeah,” Santana said grimly. That was another thing she noticed, along with the bags under Rachel’s eyes. “What’s going on with her?” Santana asked softly and Shelby was silent at that.
“She’s going through a lot.” Shelby said finally and Santana looked at her angrily.
“If you know what’s going on, why don’t you do something then?” Santana asked harshly and Shelby sighed.
“I am trying, but I can’t help her by myself,” Shelby wished she could explain to Santana exactly how she was helping, but she knew she couldn’t. “That’s why I need you.”
“What do you need me to do?” Shelby smiled.
“Take her out to eat, she needs food and I don’t know if she’s eating enough at home.” Before, she would have refused to go out in public with Rachel Berry, but things were different now. Now she could see there was something wrong with her, and with the lack of sleep she seemed to get every month, the weight loss, and sometimes extreme mood swings, Santana was actually worried.
“Sure, I’ll get the midget to eat.” Santana said and Shelby smiled gratefully.
“Thank you Santana, you have no idea what this means to me.” Shelby said and Santana knew she didn’t, but she couldn’t watch Rachel deteriorate and not do anything anymore.
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Rachel walked into the class she shared with Santana, surprised that Santana was there before her. Santana was usually one of the last people to come in, and Rachel was sure she wasn’t late this time. She walked to her desk and gave Santana a small smile.
“Hello, Santana.” She didn’t know where they stood now after all the times Santana helped her and talked to her, and she wasn’t sure why she decided to greet Santana. But she did and Santana looked up and nodded at her.
“Berry.” Santana said as Rachel sat into her seat. The two didn’t talk to each other the rest of the period, and Rachel was glad. Maybe it was going to be easier than she thought to shove Santana away.
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Santana walked into the auditorium, intent to do what Shelby told her. She sat down and watched as Rachel walked in last to West Side Story practice. She watched the way Rachel kept her head down and ignored everyone and Santana raised an eyebrow at that, but didn’t say anything. At this point, she was almost used to Rachel being distant from everyone.
When practice was over, with her and Rachel being the last ones left, she watched Rachel quickly gather her things. Santana quickly stepped in front of Rachel just as the girl turned around to walk away, and Rachel took a step back in surprise.
“Santana, what are you doing?” Rachel asked, irritated. All she wanted to do was go home and hide in her room all day.
“I’m taking you out to eat.” Santana said and Rachel gaped at her.
“What? Santana, I-“ Rachel’s voice died when Santana grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the auditorium. “Santana, let me go,” Rachel said but Santana ignored her. “Please, this-this isn’t a good idea.” Rachel saw Santana’s car and as they got closer Rachel struggled harder, but in the end it was no use. It was too far from the full moon and Santana had a death grip on her.
When they reached the car, Santana shoved Rachel against the passenger side door. Rachel winced at the impact and before she had a chance of escaping, Santana slammed her hands on the car either side of her. She was trapped. Rachel looked down nervously as Santana stared at her. After a few seconds of silence, Santana moved a hand and put it on Rachel’s ribs, making the shorter girl’s breath hitch.
“Santana…” Rachel said, not liking what was happening at all.
“You haven’t been eating right,” Santana said and Rachel bit her lip. “Why?”
“Look, I have to go…” Rachel tried to shove Santana away, but Santana stepped closer to Rachel and pinned her body against hers. Rachel took a deep breath at the feel of Santana’s body against hers, and she was sure she heard Santana’s breath hitch at the touch as well.
“You’re not going anywhere until you tell me what’s going on.” Santana said and Rachel wanted to scream. She didn’t want this to happen. She wanted everyone to leave her alone, for their benefit.
“Please…let me go…” Rachel said softly and she stopped struggling.
“What’s going on with you?” Santana asked. “Look at yourself, you’re a stick, you look sick, and you’re shoving everyone away when you always got in their faces to say something annoyingly long,” Santana said and Rachel looked away guiltily. She couldn’t tell Santana why she was different. “I want to help you.” Rachel felt a wave of anger wash over her. Why did Santana want to help now? Why now when it was something no one could help her with? And even if they could, Rachel wouldn’t let them. She just barely started to let Shelby help her.
“I don’t want anyone’s help.” Rachel said and Santana sighed.
“Well, you’re getting it.” Santana said and Rachel scoffed.
“From you? Don’t make me laugh.” Santana scowled. She didn’t blame Rachel for not trusting her, but it still made her angry.
“Hell yeah from me. Now get in the damn car before I go all Lima Heights on your ass.” Rachel looked up and glared at Santana, who glared back. They stayed like that for a few minutes, silently challenging each other, before Rachel turned around and got into the car. Santana sighed in relief and got into the driver’s side and looked at Rachel, who was glaring out the window. Santana sighed and started driving, hopefully she had the hardest part done with.
After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence they pulled up to Santana's choice of eating out, and Rachel had to roll her eyes. Breadstix. She looked at Santana, who had a childish grin on her face as she stared at the restaurant.
Santana got out of the car and Rachel did the same and followed her inside. They got a table quickly, more quickly than Rachel had before, and she guessed that was from Santana being regular. They slid into the booth and Rachel looked at the menu, looking at the solid selection. It wasn't too bad, but Rachel thought it could be better. After they both ordered their food and the waiter took their menus, they sat in silence.
"So…" Santana began. "What’d you get?" She was hoping to get some kind of answer a Rachel. The short girl was way too quiet for her liking.
"Salad," Rachel said with a shrug and became quiet again. Santana watched Rachel sit stiffly in her seat.
"Rachel," Santana said. "I'm not going to hurt you, you know?"
Rachel slowly looked up before looking away. "That's hard to believe," Rachel said and Santana leaned forward.
"I'm being serious, you can talk about Streisand and I won't give you shit."
Rachel couldn't help but laugh lately at that. She looked at Santana, who looked at her softly and with giving her an encouraging smile. Rachel wanted to, and should have, ignored Santana's attempts. She thought of walking out and shutting Santana out completely. Maybe even yell at her and tell her to never talk to her again. At least, that was what she should have done.
But a part of her, the old current that always thought she was an average human, told her she should give Santana a chance. Let her in. Before she could debate any longer, the food came out and was placed in front of Rachel and Santana.
"Sweet, time to eat," Santana grinned, eating her own food.
Rachel sighed and started eating two. Unlike Santana, though, Rachel a lot slower, so Santana finished long before Rachel did. Santana leaned back and watched her eat, only frowning when Rachel put her fork down with food still on her plate.
"You have to eat," Santana said and Rachel shook her head. "Rachel…"
"Why do you care so much?" Rachel asked. Maybe if Santana gave her a straight answer Rachel would understand Santana more.
"Because I'm worried," Santana replied easily. "And I'm not the only one. Other people are worried too."
"You don't need to worry," Rachel said and honestly, she didn't want anyone to worry. She didn't deserve anyone's sympathy.
"Why do you keep refusing my help?" Santana asked, confused.
"Because it's for the best."
Santana sighed. "No, it's not. Look at you, you've changed your clothes and they're baggy on you."
Rachel looked down, knowing Santana meant the jeans and shirt that were hanging off of her.
"My skirts just slide off," Rachel said quietly and Santana looked at her softly.
"You're starving yourself, so," she leaned forward and reached out, pushing Rachel's plate forward. "Eat."
Rachel looked up at Santana, who looked as if she wasn't going to take no for an answer. Sighing, she picked up her fork and started eating again, making Santana smile. Santana leaned back and watched Rachel eat.
"I don't know what's going on yet, but you can't push me away like everyone else. You're stuck with me, Berry, and I'm going to help you," Santana said.
Instead of replying, Rachel concentrated on eating her food.
After they had finished eating, Santana had paid and go to Rachel's house to drop her off. The ride was quiet, mostly because both girls were trying to figure out what the other was thinking. When they reach Rachel's house, Santana parked her car but neither moved.
"Santana," Rachel spoke up and Santana looked at her. Rachel was staring in front of her, refusing to meet Santana's eyes.
"Thank you, but you shouldn't pry into my personal life any longer."
Santana rolled her eyes. "It's not mine, it's helping you. I want to know what's wrong and help you through it."
Rachel finally looked at Santana, and Santana was taken aback by the coldness in her eyes.
"No, you don't want to know, and it's better that you don't."
Rachel got out of the car and went inside, leaving Santana speechless in the car.
"I'm not giving up on you," Santana whispered to herself before driving away. She didn't care what Rachel said, she was going to force her way in and help Rachel, one way or another.