[Fic] Until You - 6&7/15
Title: Until You
Author: Coley Merrin
Pairing: Zhou Mi/Kyuhyun
Rating: R
Genre: AU, Vampires, Angst, Fluff
Warnings: Brief violence, angst, sexual situations.
Summary: Research points to a vampire bite being unbreakable, but Kyuhyun can't give up. And with Zhou Mi, he works to undo the blood bond that forced them together.
***
Chapter One * Chapter Two & Three * Chapter Four & Five * Chapter Six & Seven * Chapter Eight & Nine
***
Zhou Mi's week had been rather satisfying as a whole. He’d gotten Kyuhyun’s dresser in place, got rid of a useless dust-catching table so Kyuhyun’s chair had a place, and evicted all the empty boxes. If he stood in one location and squinted, he almost couldn’t tell that there was still a great state of flux in other areas. It had only taken a week and a half, but the kitchen was half done, but there were some small appliances and tools that he didn’t know what to do with. Kyuhyun had also given him the go-ahead to put away clothes, with a small rundown of where he usually kept stuff. It meant he was able to fill his days, as well as getting to see the actual state of Kyuhyun’s clothing. From work clothes down to his underwear. And the underwear was nice enough. Not new, but no holes big enough to drive his fingers through. He wasted only a very normal amount of time actually imagining Kyuhyun in the underwear, as he folded them and tucked them in the drawer. He didn’t consider it a chore, or that he was somehow becoming Kyuhyun’s spouse. He was just doing what needed to be done so. He was pretty sure Kyuhyun wasn’t ready to get rid of his bedframe and mattress, even if it was just standing against a wall. It was like his last vestige of independence. That he still had a bed if the blood bond could be broken.
Zhou Mi’s hope on that front was a little below believing Santa Claus was real. But it wasn’t like it cost anything to keep the bed around, anyway. He didn’t want to give false hope, but he also didn’t want to be the one who tore dreams down. And being free of Zhou Mi probably comprised of a large part of Kyuhyun’s dreams by then.
Kyuhyun’s work clothes, and just seeing him go out the door, made Zhou Mi kind of hum to himself. He wasn’t going to alter clothes without getting measurements, but he was waiting for a time at which Kyuhyun seemed in a good mood and wouldn’t break his hand for getting close to his crotch with a measuring tape. Even if they just started with a single pair of pants, or taking in one slightly-oversized shirt, Kyuhyun would look a lot more put-together. And then he kind of dreamed of what he’d do if he could make Kyuhyun a pair of pants from the ground up. That still required a few measurements. Using one of the existing pants as a template wasn’t exactly high on his priority list. The next time he went shopping, he decided he’d pick up patterns for men’s suits, and some appropriate suiting material. He could research and find the best cuts. That was way more productive to him than sifting through old books. But he’d made a promise to Kyuhyun, so he figured he’d find a way to do both. Kyuhyun was gone a lot at work, after all.
He had flung himself onto the couch for a nap by the time Kyuhyun trundled in the door. It was raining, he could smell that, and noticed it quite a lot in the way that Kyuhyun’s hair dripped in places. Not too fastidious with the umbrella, clearly.
“Two days of no suits,” Kyuhyun seemed to exult, hanging his outer jacket on one of the pegs. “I’ll just change and eat if there’s nothing you have planned?”
“No, nothing. Go ahead,” Zhou Mi said, peering at him curiously from over the back of the couch.
He managed to get upright by the time Kyuhyun had changed, and when his offer of help was politely turned down, he took a seat at the table. If they could do nothing else, they could keep talking, keep getting to know each other. As long as it didn’t seem to be straining them, he figured it had to be making them stronger. He waited a little while, for Kyuhyun to get a few bites in and get settled.
“So you think this week went okay at work, overall?”
Kyuhyun hadn’t told him of any major issues in the last week, or this one, but if he was holding back something, it wasn’t like Zhou Mi could magically see it. But as much as he could tell, as much as he could hope, it had probably went okay.
“Yeah, it was okay. Just a couple weird moments. Like the other day when I got asked if all your boy parts are the same as anyone else’s. He actually hinted he had been interesting in dating me. That was definitely weird, because he’d never-”
“What?” Zhou Mi asked, on his feet before he really knew what he was doing. One of those men had been interested in Kyuhyun? That he’d spoken to, talked to?
Kyuhyun blinked at him. “What, what?”
“Who does that kind of thing? Who propositions someone-“
“Whoa,” Kyuhyun said, laughing. “It’s not like he tackled me and offered sex.”
“I know, but- There’s more than just a flimsy engagement between us. He shouldn’t even have been speaking to you that way.”
“What, you’re jealous?” Kyuhyun asked, and the sound of the surprise in that one question had his sanity breaking.
“You aren’t his to take! You-“
“I’m not yours!” Kyuhyun argued. “You don’t own me. As long as I keep feeding you, so what if I sleep with a hundred guys? You don’t-“
The biting pain behind Zhou Mi’s eyes had his hands balling, covering his face in horror. He hadn’t had a headache shoot through him like that since his father had died. The price of letting his emotions overtake him. He felt his balance give, and heard Kyuhyun ask him hollowly if he was okay.
“Sorry,” he choked, wheeling around, walking nearly blind. Feeling his way with only a few stumbles to their bed. The agony of the headache was almost overwhelming, like his temples were being crushed. He moaned into the blanket, and tried to will it away.
He didn’t even know how long he lay there before he felt a touch on his arm.
“Hey. What’s wrong?”
“Headache, sorry.”
Kyuhyun made a soft sound. “I didn’t know vampires could get headaches.”
“When I let my feelings overwhelm me. I just need to calm down.”
He breathed, and squirmed away from Kyuhyun’s touch.
“Will feeding help it? Zhou Mi?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know.”
“Try.”
Kyuhyun was nearly hugging him from the side, to get his arm against Zhou Mi’s mouth. And it took several moments through the pain, to even figure out how to loose his teeth. He didn’t think the blood did anything for the pain, but it did soothe something in him. Something maybe that was driving it.
“Thank you,” he whispered after a bare minute. “That’s a little better.”
And nearly whimpered when Kyuhyun’s body heat left him. But the light turned off, plunging them into the half-light from outside the bedroom window. And Kyuhyun nudged him over further.
“My mom used to do this for me when I got really stressed out about school,” Kyuhyun said softly.
And Kyuhyun’s hands began to knead at Zhou Mi’s shoulders. Thumbs working knots, rubbing down the back of his neck. Maybe it was the hypnotic movement of Kyuhyun’s hands, or the effects of it. Or maybe it was the contact. The heat of Kyuhyun was like a furnace. The bond, perhaps, enhanced it. To be missing contact, to remember again how bad it had been to lose it. To know again how good it was. If Kyuhyun’s hope was right, and he had to think of it almost in the abstract to keep the pain away, how did he live alone again?
“Don’t want to be alone,” he chattered through trembling lips, barely aware that he’d said it out loud.
“I could use a nap,” Kyuhyun said. “I’ll stay here a while. Get some rest.”
It was good, that Kyuhyun had misunderstood. But his words were telling, too. Naps were fleeting, short. They inevitably came to an end. Just as it was possible their time together would.
***
He came out of sleep with a start, nearly rolling before he felt a hand on his back.
“Hey, you’re going to push me off the bed.”
With his neck twisted, he could see that Kyuhyun was still behind him. The bedside lamp was on, Kyuhyun reading as he sat next to Zhou Mi.
“You feeling any better?” Kyuhyun asked him.
“The ache is mostly gone,” Zhou Mi said. “Thanks.”
“Headaches aren’t any fun. I didn’t know it was going to tweak you like that.”
He laughed, with some care. “Believe me, I didn’t either.”
“I’m not, you know. Not going to go try and start dating or something. Maybe the registration is a formality, but unless you’re into kinky threesomes or something, we just need to work through this together.”
“Definitely not into that,” he said, smiling into the blanket. The idea of sharing wasn’t one he’d figured out yet when it came to Kyuhyun, clearly.
“Shower, then, and get some extra sleep.”
He felt unsteady, standing, but finally got himself back together. The hot water felt like it revived him, washing some of the nasty feelings away. Having another small reassurance of Kyuhyun’s fidelity, he repeated those words to himself. That dedication he returned. He had not been in bed long before he heard Kyuhyun start to get ready to sleep as well. And he slept, knowing Kyuhyun was not far away.
****
Zhou Mi tried not to call Eunhyuk often. Occasionally, there were little things that spurred him to it. Hopes and fears. Kyuhyun moving in. The aftermath of meeting Kyuhyun’s coworkers. Those were the big things he had called Eunhyuk after. At first, mostly to let Eunhyuk know he was okay. But also for advice. What little advice they had between them, anyway. There wasn’t any way either of them knew of to help a man accept his new life status. Besides Zhou Mi being patient and understanding, and hoping that Kyuhyun would like who he was. Eunhyuk was almost disgusted by Zhou Mi’s attitude, like the onus was all on him. But Zhou Mi knew that wasn’t true. But no matter how stressful it was occasionally, and how much worry Zhou Mi put into it, there were things to be glad about. Kyuhyun wasn’t storming around the apartment screaming at him, or even being sullen. They’d moved a little beyond a simple true of trying to get along, and Zhou Mi was glad of it.
But Eunhyuk’s immediate reaction on hearing Zhou Mi’s voice was that something was wrong. And inside, it kind of still felt that way.
“Kyuhyun was telling me about a man at work. I guess this guy had been interested in him, but never asked.”
“And Kyuhyun told you about that?” Eunhyuk asked, sounding surprised.
“I don’t think he meant it cruelly. I think it was awkward for him, too. But it just got to me. One of those headaches. That there’s someone there who wants to flirt with Kyuhyun. Just having that option out there, maybe it makes me seem even worse to him. I feel like I shouldn’t be so possessive, but I can’t help it.”
“He’s your only source of food. It’s obvious you wouldn’t want him spread around. The bond is supposed to be deeper than that.”
“I know,” Zhou Mi said.
“Then you’re attracted to him.”
“I don’t-“ Zhou Mi hesitated. “Maybe.”
“Zhou Mi. You’ve been living together for almost two weeks. You should probably know that.”
“Of course I do. And I am. He’s very attractive to me, and not just because I can smell myself in him. His eyes are- You don’t need to hear this.”
“Just don’t let your attraction to his eyes make you let him treat you like crap,” Eunhyuk told him, his voice fierce in Zhou Mi’s defense. “It doesn’t matter how cute he is, or how guilty you feel. You don’t deserve to have him throw guys in your face and beat you down inside.”
His impression was that Eunhyuk’s opinion of Kyuhyun was a little lower than what it could be. Considering when he got desperate and called, sometimes he was in despair, or just telling about the ways they agreed to get along. And not saying as much about the little things, like the way Kyuhyun hounded after him to eat, and the way Kyuhyun kicked his thigh while they watched TV to get him to pay attention to a particularly intense scene. Or the way that Kyuhyun was more comfortable around him, and sometimes how a simple smile lit Zhou Mi up inside. He told himself he would talk more about those things, and less about the ones that upset him. Because those were less, even as he tried carefully not to let his expectations rise. They’d come so far, but Zhou Mi had no idea how far they had left to go. Or how far Kyuhyun would want them to.
***
Kyuhyun spent the next morning reading, and listening to Zhou Mi putter while a CD wailed. He still felt vaguely guilty for the day before. He’d had enough tension headaches to know what they felt like, but Zhou Mi had woken and waved off his question on how he felt. It was a little disquieting to think that Zhou Mi took things between them so seriously. Like they really had said vows of some kind. Only in blood instead of words. But he hadn’t lied. He’d made his promises, too just as Zhou Mi had.
He knew, hearing movement, that Zhou Mi was taking care of his own clothes, or he’d have felt like a sloth just sitting around. At least happy to sit until his stomach complained, and he realize that he didn’t have anything he wanted to eat. He kind of left the fact that he was going out open ended, but Zhou Mi didn’t make any sort of noises that he wanted to go. It was no skin off of Kyuhyun’s back, and he juggled his keys and cell phone and went out to decide what he wanted. But eating out, that he didn’t really feel like doing. It took him longer than usual, wandering and thinking. He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to think about everything. And every time he tried, he just got more confused. But at least he eventually decided what he wanted to eat. He unlocked the door, his dinner in one hand, and ready to call out that he was home. Or, he would’ve, but he’d looked up as he stepped inside and realized a rather important fact.
There was a naked man in the middle of the apartment.
And not just any naked man - a naked Zhou Mi.
And okay, he wasn’t totally naked. He was wearing a pair of underwear, and was holding a shirt with the clear intention of putting it on. But that didn’t keep Kyuhyun’s eyes from roaming from Zhou Mi’s feet, up his legs, waist, shoulders.
“Holy fuck,” he barked, sagging back against the closed door.
“What is it? What’s wrong?” Zhou Mi demanded, dropping the shirt he was holding in favor of racing up to Kyuhyun and reaching for him. “Did something happen?”
“No. No, I’m fine,” he answered when he got his brain cells back from the flashing thighs. Mostly. “Why are you naked? And what genetic lottery did you win?”
Zhou Mi frowned, finally seeming to note that Kyuhyun’s eyes had certainly not been on his face. Great move on Kyuhyun’s part, that one.
“My body? Kyuhyun- Here I think you’ve gotten mugged or harassed, and you’re talking about me?”
“Do all vampires look like you?”
“I don’t know. There isn’t some kind of vampire convention. I don’t think so, though. Our human mothers would have a varied gene pool. You think I’m hot?”
“So would the sun,” Kyuhyun said, still a little nonplussed by all the naked skin in his face. “Go- Go get clothes on. You’re distracting.”
Zhou Mi laughed. “You’re so cute.”
“Get,” he said, swatting at Zhou Mi. And watching that trim little butt move in his underwear as Zhou Mi wandered back to grab his abandoned shirt. And made sure to look very, very busy when Zhou Mi looked back to check if he was watching.
It had turned out that Zhou Mi had showered, and not thinking Kyuhyun would be home so soon, had wandered out to take his pick from the warm clothes he’d been drying.
“Good thing none of the windows face into someone else’s,” Kyuhyun joked.
“I didn’t come out totally naked,” Zhou Mi retorted.
He, for all Kyuhyun’s imagination cared, might as well have been. It wasn’t like a man’s body was a mystery. He wasn’t caught off guard by the fact that Zhou Mi had two arms, two legs, and a dick. He hadn’t been all keyed up to get distracted by a river of naked skin, was the problem. At least he’d had something to distract himself, in his meal. And Zhou Mi had been a little, slightly, apologetic about it anyway. He could just put it out of his head. And maybe be a little envious of those thighs, but no. Really, just setting it aside. He’d really think of something good to fantasize about in the shower, something very not Zhou Mi, and just get it out of his system.
***
They were in bed by the time that Zhou Mi pressed him to feed, and his arm went out automatically. As the week had gone on, he hadn’t really realized that there were a few extra sensations going on. The continuing newness of having a mouth biting him or something. And he was pretty sure it wasn’t just because he’d seen Zhou Mi mostly naked. Not that he’d been thinking about that. At all. But that night, it seemed different, because the warmth and tingles from the bite weren’t just in innocuous places like his shins or elbows. There was a definite flush that had his thighs moving of their own volition, gritting his teeth as he felt a stir. And it didn’t really surprise him, because it felt like someone was breathing on his crotch. Resisting that kind of stimulation was kind of hard for any man. He focused on breathing slowly, focusing on anything but Zhou Mi’s butt or his underwear, or his face, of the fact that he was right now biting Kyuhyun. He tried to focus on nice things, like hang nails, and splinters, and getting F’s on tests.
And not focusing on Zhou Mi murmuring and adjusting the wet of his mouth on Kyuhyun’s arm. He’d actually almost cowed himself into thinking of something else, and then he was raising his knees in case he couldn’t get back to his happy place. Ice cubes. Things with razor sharp teeth. Snapping near his balls. That worked. Mostly. That and the fact that Zhou Mi finished, licking his arm for several seconds before wiping it clean.
“How was the feast?” Kyuhyun joked.
“Very good.”
He tried to relax as Zhou Mi finished getting settled, happy to have his body back under his control. Still, Zhou Mi’s next words had him jolting.
“So you think I’m attractive?” Zhou Mi asked, as he turned off the light and scooted into bed beside Kyuhyun. “I do like that pair of underwear.”
Attractive. Not because Kyuhyun had been almost getting turned on but because of his stupid words. He closed his eyes and groaned. “Are you going to let that go? I was surprised by all the nudity, okay?”
“I know, and I appreciate that. But you thought I had good genes? If you thought I was hot, then you might be sexually attracted to me, which is good because if we’re bonded, then-“
“What?” he squawked.
“You have had sex?” Zhou Mi asked him, huffing far too near to the back of his neck.
“What? Yes. Obviously, of course I have.”
“Well, then someday… Hmm.”
He didn’t like the sound of that sound Zhou Mi made, but a thought occurred to him.
“You’ve had sex?” he asked Zhou Mi, and got a long pause for his question.
“Yes, a couple of times, but it wasn’t meaningful.”
Curiosity. Cats. Whatever. “You’re just going to leave it like that? What do you mean, meaningful? One night stands?”
Zhou Mi’s voice was so soft, he almost had to straighten to hear it. “No. I went to a high school with humans my last year, when they ordered that vampire children be allowed. And you know how it is with humans sometimes. I was a freak, some kind of monster, so I ranked pretty high on the conquest scale. The first time was me being led on, but the second time- I was more wary, because I heard the rumor that others were going to try and sleep with me. So I dated someone, and it led to sex, and- It was just a ruse, too.”
Kyuhyun cursed under his breath at the ignorant children who had abused Zhou Mi’s trust. “Were they girls, guys?”
“One of each,” Zhou Mi admitted. “I guess that’s why I got fooled.”
“You’re not a freak, or a monster. You’re just a guy.”
Zhou Mi’s hand was warm on his waist, a sort of knowing that Zhou Mi was touching him, and near. And the warmth intensified, as Zhou Mi seemed to lean closer to his back.
“Thank you, Kyuhyun. That means so much to me, to hear it from you.”
“Well you have to hear it from someone. So go to sleep before the hotness burns or something.”
Zhou Mi seemed to giggle softly to himself, squeezing Kyuhyun’s side before taking back his hand. But he didn’t move, radiating warmth at Kyuhyun’s back in a way that made him want to turn, and bask in it. And maybe there was the tiny question of him wondering if Zhou Mi found him hot. Which totally had no bearing on anything. He was just curious, that was all.
Just curious.
***
Kitchen, done. Bedroom, no small thanks to Zhou Mi and his clothes hanging, done. Books, done. Shelves for all his miscellaneous paperwork and crap, done. The apartment looked more full, but he could still see the very definite traces of Zhou Mi around in the decorations and artifacts. It wasn’t like he’d wanted to erase that.
Sunday had been the day for hauling off everything he hadn’t needed, things too bulky to keep around in duplicate. Things that he wouldn’t have trouble replacing if he ended up living on his own again. When, he tried to correct himself. When. Donating most everything, trashing what was too old to be of use. Nothing truly valuable, anyway. And Zhou Mi, in his special outfit, had helped. The looks they had gotten, especially from some older people, had made him want to say something incredibly unkind. Zhou Mi had just kept his chin up, sunglasses on. And he had to have seen it, too. But he lasted, getting his lunch and eating, and retreating to another of the books.
It was interesting to note as he read, that it had not been much more than a century since vampires had been officially recognized. Feared, reviled, discriminated against. Some of the older texts, even if they were describing vampires medically, described them in such sub-human ways. Creature. Abomination. Like some demon had just stepped right up and chosen to spawn a few inconveniences on humanity. If Zhou Mi had been born back then, and deposited at a hospital, there was a good chance he’d have ended up as a research specimen, or “accidentally” dead. Apparently “putting down” younger vampires wasn’t quite as difficult as after they got their teeth.
“Reading this is disgusting,” he said, getting Zhou Mi to look up. “It’s like they’re examining something worse than a dog.”
“It’s something they didn’t understand,” Zhou Mi said. “And it’s changed.”
“Sort of. But they understood it enough to know that almost everything about vampires was basically the same as humans.”
“Even more reason to fear it, don’t you think? If vampires had say, looked like water buffalo, wouldn’t that have just been an interesting new species?”
“Water…” He burst out laughing, imagining Zhou Mi with a pair of horns. “There’s just not a lot of logic to the response.”
“Who said people are logical?” Zhou Mi asked, shrugging. “I can only be what I can be. I can’t teach them to like me. But I could have it a lot worse.”
“Worse than people guaranteeing you’re going to die?”
Zhou Mi’s lips curved, but it was not a smile. “Yes, worse than that. Don’t worry about me.”
“Don’t worry, I’m doing fine getting in worry where it’s called for. Like making sure I have clothes for tomorrow.”
“Oh!” Zhou Mi got to his feet as though he’d just said something exciting. “You have this pair of pants that you wear. They look about a size or two too big?”
He knew exactly what pair of pants Zhou Mi was talking about. A mis-read of a label or a fat day, he wasn’t sure which. There was comfortable, and then there was a sack. He’d just never taken the time or expense to get them tailored. Which probably he should’ve cared more, but really? Who cared. Besides Zhou Mi.
“Would you let me alter them for you? Or would you like me to, I guess. I can take them in a little so they don’t look like you borrowed them from, well. Someone else.”
“Sure?” That was what Zhou Mi did after all, right? And short of making them too small for Kyuhyun to get into, he wasn’t sure what Zhou Mi could do to make them look worse. And then if so, they’d have new rags or something.
Zhou Mi buzzed off muttering to himself, and Kyuhyun listened as loud rustles emanated from the spare room. Zhou Mi emerged with what looked like a notepad, a pen, and a long cloth tape measure.
“Could you stand up for a minute?” Zhou Mi asked, encouraging him up with a gesture. “I just need some measurements.”
The waist and hip measurements were fine, really. Zhou Mi was quick, efficient. Scribbling down numbers that he didn’t really want to look at, and humming to himself.
“I have to measure your inseam, so. Um.” Zhou Mi made a gesture at his crotch, kneeling, and Kyuhyun gave a go-ahead nod. What could he do? Say no? But he had to swallow an uncomfortable giggle as Zhou Mi’s hand brushed the inside of his thigh. Doing nothing inappropriate obviously, even given that, well. His hands were right there. The measuring tape being smoothed down his leg.
“You’re pretty tall, actually- Ahh!“
Zhou Mi’s shriek was almost louder than the scream of shattering glass. His hands went up instinctively, Zhou Mi’s weight against his legs collapsing him back onto the couch. Unsure of where the sound had come from at first before he realized it had been the window. And Zhou Mi was gone, scrambling from the room, with a string of half-shouted denials. The urge to flee or defend left him with an unsettling shake in his hands, and he nearly stepped forward without thinking about it. Walking cautiously to the door, to find shoes. The living room window’s top pane, with no screen to protect it, had shattered, sending glass through the room. His first thought was a bird. Or maybe a kid throwing something? But they were two floors up. It was when he saw the brick that he thought of the fire escape.
Two words were scrawled on it. Die vampire.
And into the room, spilled lots of very natural, unfiltered sunlight. Right at where he and Zhou Mi had been. He had no idea what was going to filter out the sun, he just knew he needed to try. A double thickness garbage bag and masking tape were his makeshift solution. He couldn’t go to Zhou Mi without blocking at least most of it out. The room was significantly darkened by his haphazard taping, but he knew the bags weren’t going anywhere. And closing the bedroom door behind him, he searched for Zhou Mi. Not in the bed, or under it, or in the bathroom. The closet. He tapped the door of it lightly.
“Zhou Mi? Are you okay? Can I open the door? Everything’s closed up.”
“Yeah,” he heard, and he slid the door back.
“You’re okay?”
“I got scalded a bit,” Zhou Mi admitted, his face in shadows. “But I got away pretty fast, so it’s not bad.”
“You need an apartment in a basement.”
“No! The sun-“ Zhou Mi protested.
Was worth the risk, Kyuhyun assumed. It was bad enough to be sensitive, but to be denied it entirely? Zhou Mi reached for him, and he wasn’t sure what to do. Staying still as Zhou Mi grasped his sides.
Kyuhyun stared up at the hanging clothes. “Is your protective gear in here?”
“The bathroom.”
“Okay. I’ll get it, and you can help me figure out who we’re supposed to call to get a new window. I’ll clean up the mess, and you can hang out in a corner somewhere.”
“That sounds like a good plan,” Zhou Mi said, his hands still tight on Kyuhyun’s waist.
“Since you were hurt, er. Do you need to feed?”
The swallow was audible, the intake of breath.
“Please.”
He moved slightly to the side, Zhou Mi not letting him go. Banding him with one arm, even as Kyuhyun lifted his own arm to give Zhou Mi access. The sensations by then were not new, the flushing warmth, tingling skin. He focused on Zhou Mi’s hand holding his arm, barely able to make out pale fingers against his skin. Better to focus on that, and not the way that Zhou Mi was petting his waist like some kind of nursing kitten. Maybe Zhou Mi needed the blood, or maybe he just needed the comfort. Either one, it was not a long feed, Zhou Mi sighing and letting his arm go, all but sagging into him.
“Thank you,” Zhou Mi told him. “I’m better.”
It was odd, he noticed, that the tingles from the feed hadn’t stopped. But as Zhou Mi breathed against his neck, he realized they were a different kind entirely.
***
***
To say Kyuhyun was pissed was a little bit of an understatement. After he’d retrieved the fine reflective cloth for Zhou Mi to put on, he actually surveyed the damage. Glass flying to where they’d been standing. Hell, they could’ve been hit by the brick. When Zhou Mi emerged, he was covered, though the only real noticeable places were his hands, in gloves, and his head. Even if it was sheer, it was noticeable over his face, and Kyuhyun forced himself to look away.
“So what do we do with this.”
“We can get it clean. I don’t know if we can get it replaced today, but we might be able to get ahold of someone to get an order in,” Zhou Mi said.
Kyuhyun flipped through their phone book just in case, as Zhou Mi called the landlord. Apparently the windows had been pre-installed, so Zhou Mi didn’t even have a number. But the landlord would have.
“Yes, as soon as possible would be great. Tomorrow morning would be fine, but I wanted to let you know.”
That, and the police report. Though the police were about as much help as they had been on the kidnapping, taking a few pictures and taking statements, and being on their way.
So it was Kyuhyun, with a broom and a dust pan and a garbage bag, who stared down the scattered glass.
“Let’s get this up before it shreds one of us. Or, me, I guess.
“I can’t be cut by the glass, so let me do it,” Zhou Mi said, reaching for the hand that held the broom.
“I’m not worried about you being cut. But your gloves aren’t impervious to it, or that cloth you have to wear. How much does that cost to replace, anyway?”
“We’re supplied it free of cost,” Zhou Mi told him. “I have no less than three suits kept exactly like this. I’d rather shred a host of gloves than see you get hurt. Let me do this.”
The material of the glove was soft, clutching his, and Zhou Mi’s eyes oddly intense, even through the cloth covering his face. Though he wanted to sweep that cloth back and reveal the fall of Zhou Mi’s perpetually shiny hair, and actually see the emotion cross that face.
He tugged his hand free of Zhou Mi’s with a silent curse at his stupid thoughts. “I’ll go be useless somewhere else then.”
“No,” Zhou Mi laughed. “You can hold the bag for me? Please?”
And with Kyuhyun’s hands and arms moderately shielded, he did. Holding the bag as Zhou Mi swept and lifted and dumped glass into it. Going through the couch with a vacuum, the floors and corners. Again, not that Zhou Mi could be hurt, but stepping on a shard could be pretty painful for Kyuhyun. Zhou Mi didn’t end up destroying his gloves after all. Though the black-festooned window, even with the half-window and inside light still gave a sort of pall to the room.
“You did a good job closing it up,” Zhou Mi remarked. “Was that a whole roll of tape?”
He just elbowed Zhou Mi and scanned the floor, in case they’d missed something. Luckily their desks or TV weren’t right in front of it, or it would’ve been a real mess. The image of his smashed laptop because of a brick made him shudder a little bit inside.
“You don’t need me to stay or anything for the window replacement?”
Zhou Mi shook his head. “The building manager will take care of the voucher, and will probably oversee the installation. I’ll make sure he looks at the fire escape as well. So you don’t have to worry about me. I’ll just be wearing less when you get home.”
Considering he had seen Zhou Mi in nothing but his underwear, how much less was less? But he didn’t speak it. Just sitting, contemplating who would throw a brick through someone’s window. And letting the anger sink through him.
But that night, when he was in his pajamas and still internally grousing when he caught sight of the plastic, he was caught off guard. Joking to Zhou Mi about who’d left their socks in the middle of the floor that time, and suddenly encompassed by long arms.
“Sorry,” Zhou Mi said, uncomfortably close to his ear. “But I have to thank you. Really. For everything. If there is nothing else you want from me, I hope you will be my- My friend.”
Maybe they were bonded by blood. Maybe circumstance had forced them together. Maybe there were things about Zhou Mi that he didn’t want to think about, and things he figured he needed to keep to himself. Maybe it wasn’t going to last forever. But none of his arguments allowed him to think that it would be a bad idea to become this man’s friend.
“We already are,” Kyuhyun confirmed.
And got a sigh, and those tingles again. He really, really had to keep Zhou Mi away from his neck. When he came home the next day, there was a new window, and Zhou Mi smiling at him over the back of the couch.
***
Kyuhyun’s clothes, with Zhou Mi having his measurements and permission, were slowly being transformed. It wasn’t like they were magically nicer, but even he could tell they fit better. And fitting better didn’t even mean his circulation was being cut off. Because clearly his legs and thighs were not Zhou Mi’s. Not that he thought about those usually except in the abstract. He tried to keep actual study of those things to a proximity-awareness, and nothing more than that. He wasn’t sure if fantasizing about random guys he saw day to day was more or less sane than just giving in and wondering about Zhou Mi’s collarbones.
But whatever it meant, it still got him better-looking clothes over the course of the first few weeks. And maybe Zhou Mi got something out of it too, like thinking people who connected Zhou Mi to him wouldn’t be thinking he’d been tied to a guy who didn’t know how to dress. Or something. Satisfaction from his handwork, maybe. Of course, if that was how Zhou Mi earned cash? And he was using his time on Kyuhyun’s things? After the first pair of pants, after a few days since he was smart and couldn’t come up with ideas quickly, he had offered to pay Zhou Mi for it. And the look that had crossed Zhou Mi’s face? Horrified didn’t even begin to cover it.
“I take from you,” Zhou Mi had told him, his face a mask of seriousness that would have put any high school principal to shame. “Please let me do this for you.”
It had put Kyuhyun at a little bit of a loss, too. Because he didn’t exactly want Zhou Mi to feel indebted to him. Sure, Zhou Mi was taking his blood. But he was also housing Kyuhyun - for free - and putting up with his presence. Saying it like Kyuhyun expected more from him was almost beyond his ability to reason. And he was sure his voice sounded as nonplussed as he was.
“I don’t expect it. You don’t have to do that for me.”
Zhou Mi had smiled. “I know. I appreciate that, Kyuhyun. And I don’t feel like I’m really paying you back. It’s just something that I can do, that I like to do. It’s been a long time since I had someone to do things for. You do a lot for me, too.”
“I don’t know what,” he muttered.
“Just being here.”
Discussing what to watch on TV. Debating, really. Once they’d figured out that no one was going to explode or go storming off. And after a few nights of subtle, if friendly, sniping, Zhou Mi had drawn up a chart. How many times there were conflicting times, and evening those between them. And then figuring out which could be easily watched online. Compromises. It wasn’t like he’d been living so long alone that he didn’t remember what it was like to have to give a little. And truthfully, it was probably good for him. Zhou Mi was, most of the time, accommodating, but that fashion runway show? He’d have needed a stampeding elephant to get that remote out of Zhou Mi’s fist. Or maybe even more, who knew.
***
Zhou Mi wasn’t sure who, between the two of them, had to adjust the most to having another person around. Zhou Mi had certainly lived on his own the longest, but he also had an appreciation for having another person around in his space. It was less quiet, less cold. Maybe there were little things he sort of rolled his eyes at, like Kyuhyun’s scattered dirty socks, or the dirty dishes that went ignored. But that was hardly a deal-breaker. He’d tried to get Kyuhyun to tell him if anything bothered him, but when Kyuhyun had his face in his laptop, it was a little hard to get anything out of him but a stare. That and sheepishness, when Zhou Mi shoved a plate of cut-up fruit at him. He was getting a little better at the knife wielding. Maybe he’d looked up videos on the internet, but he wasn’t going to tell Kyuhyun that.
It had become almost surprisingly - normal. Kyuhyun didn’t carry a book around with him every moment he was home, but Zhou Mi knew not to take that as some kind of assurance that Kyuhyun accepted the blood bond. It just meant that Kyuhyun had gotten beyond the basic books, and into the dry, and sometimes fantastical ones. And the other problem was that Zhou Mi’s collection was by no means complete. His job was finding a collector who would let them see one of the rare books that Zhou Mi could not hope to afford, or even someone who fancied themselves an expert. There were no “vampire doctors” but there were people who studied, both the lore and fact. But this one was out of the country, and that one wasn’t accepting appointments. All he had to his credit was patience, and the tiny twinge in his heart when he made lists to check back around with someone’s secretary. In a month or two. Kind of twofold, because in a month or two they might find something that would let Kyuhyun leave unhindered. And in a month or two they might not. He wondered if Kyuhyun would be disgusted if he knew that Zhou Mi’s hope was torn. He wanted Kyuhyun to be happy, he did. But was it so bad to harbor the tiniest hope that they could be happy together?
It was, more or less, like living with a friend. If friends slept in the same bed, or had a drinking blood arrangement. What did Kyuhyun want from a relationship? Any relationship? Sex? Companionship? Zhou Mi felt like he’d gotten out of the initial eggshell zone. Where he thought any wrong move he made was going to result in, well. Certain death for him. Certain discomfort for Kyuhyun. It wasn’t like Kyuhyun was a psychopath demanding things or else, which comforted him. Kyuhyun was patient with his alteration of Kyuhyun’s wardrobe, and at the barest level, accepting of most everything else. The one thing that he was supposed to guard well was his heart. But that was like a lot of other things in his life that he didn’t have a lot of control over. He couldn’t stop himself from being hungry, and he couldn’t stop himself from seeing Kyuhyun as some kind of salvation. It was easy, far too easy, to understand why his ancestors had tied themselves to humans. It was belonging, and it was more.
He hoarded stories over the days, to tell Kyuhyun when he got off from work. To see those eyes light up in humor, or have Kyuhyun’s mouth twist before the dam broke into full-out laughter. Just to lean against the counter some nights and watch or help Kyuhyun get his dinner ready was fulfilling. Kyuhyun talking about his day, usually with some biting comment that had Zhou Mi in stitches imagining it.
He’d only ever once asked about the man that Kyuhyun had said had hit on him. Kyuhyun had dismissed it, saying he hadn’t heard anything else out of the guy. It calmed Zhou Mi’s nerves on the subject a little, but he couldn’t help the worry.
“I’m starving!” Kyuhyun exclaimed, all but bursting out of their bedroom in his casual clothes. A soft green shirt that Zhou Mi perpetually wanted to pet. And did, when he was washing it. Kyuhyun never knew. “I want to eat out tonight, I think. There’s this restaurant that I really love. The beef is so amazing, seriously. It like melts off the pan, kind of crispy in places. Should try the-“
Kyuhyun seemed to pause, as though he realized that Zhou Mi did not have any interest in the food itself. Even after all the time they spent together, when every other person ate, he assumed it would be hard to remember all the time. Though he knew Kyuhyun had gotten carried away, not really speaking of Zhou Mi, but more of anyone who ate. But watching Kyuhyun enthuse about it was something he would not have traded.
“Don’t worry. At least I can watch you enjoy it,” he teased gently. Though it was quite a bit the truth.
“I don’t understand how you can be okay with just sitting when other people are eating.”
What difference was it, really, Zhou Mi wondered. Not everyone in the world ate the same as everyone else. Someone might get dessert while another person abstained, or getting a snack while others weren’t ready. It wasn’t like he looked at Kyuhyun and pictured him as a nice meaty bowl of soup, so it was just enjoying someone’s company during an activity he didn’t take part in - kind of like when Kyuhyun gamed, really.
“It’s not that bad,” he said, answering Kyuhyun’s comment. “Mealtimes can be really social, but if I have tea, and there is discussion, then I am fine. I’m happy you would want me there.”
“Well.” Kyuhyun paused. “It’s just awkward to leave you here and go out and eat. And it’s not like I care what anyone else thinks.”
He smiled at Kyuhyun and warmed his hands on his cup. It was true to a point, he figured, that Kyuhyun didn’t care what people thought. Only to a point. No one was impervious. And it was worse than Zhou Mi having some kind of deformity. He was completely normal, and he was completely not at the same time. Was he normal enough that would he have been wanted had Kyuhyun met him on the street? It was one thing to be friends, and another to contemplate something as involved as sex. Or even kissing.
A group of three couples clattered in, and Kyuhyun looked rather bemused as the room got even louder.
“People who are dating can be so annoying,” Kyuhyun lamented.
Zhou Mi laughed, not at Kyuhyun, but at the sentiment. “I wouldn’t know that very well.”
“Do you- Have you dated? Much?”
Zhou Mi’s fingers curled tight. “No. After that year of high school, I was wary. Most everyone I have known has been just a friend. There is still the occasional person that approaches me on the street, who thinks I’m kind of cool and weird, but those are easy to spot.
“So wait, you were telling me about high school a few weeks ago. So you were what, 18? You haven’t had sex in 30 years?”
“Shh! It’d only be…28.”
“Oh, practically yesterday then. Wow.”
Obviously it wouldn’t have been that long ago for Kyuhyun. His lips pursed, trying not to let the mental images of Kyuhyun pinning someone to a bed, sucking someone off, get the better of him. Obviously, since they’d washed over him anyway? It was a little futile to try and stop the train after it had left. At least he knew that for Kyuhyun it had been more than 30 days, unless Kyuhyun was truly more sneaky than he could imagine.
“Do you miss dating?” he asked Kyuhyun, almost wondering if he wanted to know. If there was some heartache in Kyuhyun’s past that would make Zhou Mi want to protect him. Or some person that Kyuhyun wanted but couldn’t have - because of Zhou Mi?
“I was never very good at it, actually. Even if the sex was decent, I think I picked a lot of- questionable people, anyway. It’s hard to stay interested when the guy looking back at you looks nice but is as engaging as a limp noodle.”
Limp noodle imagery brought up all other kinds of mental pictures.
“Were they not interested in you, or…?”
“Sure, they were interested in how regularly they could get laid.” Kyuhyun laughed, shaking his head. “Or maybe if they wanted to watch their sports games, or whatever. But I dated the opposite, too, the ones who wanted every second of my attention. Talking to me if the TV was on, or if I was on the phone, like they were little three year-olds looking for attention.”
“Sounds like you dated a lot of immature guys.”
“Exactly. Immature. Or maybe devoid of maturity, I don’t know. I didn’t realize that finding someone mostly normal was so hard.”
Normal. He knew Kyuhyun didn’t mean anything by the word, but it still sent Zhou Mi’s engagement in the hypothetical conversation splatting at his feet. Normal? Clearly something he could never be. The eccentric guy who sewed clothes and liked TV, and pretty things, and laughing. That, and contemplating Kyuhyun. His life. Kyuhyun glanced up, and their eyes locked for a long, uncomfortable moment.
“What about you?” Kyuhyun asked. “There wasn’t anyone you were interested in?”
The one man who was his, Zhou Mi thought. And could have shouted with relief that his phone started buzzing. Rude or not, he was answering it. He listened very carefully to the woman who spoke on the other end of the line. The secretary of a professor he’d been emailing in hopes of getting some attention. And they were offering a time.
“Oh! Yes. I am. Just one moment.” He lowered to phone and leaned toward Kyuhyun. “Can you get off work at 3, the day after tomorrow? To go see a researcher?”
Kyuhyun’s mouth bowed, and he nodded, indicating he could. Zhou Mi was nearly twisting in his chair.
“Yes. Yes ma’am. Thank you. We’ll see you then.” He sighed, sinking back. Kyuhyun was staring at him with curiosity, but Zhou Mi just smiled. “Finally. We finally got an appointment. There’s this expert I’ve been emailing for weeks, one of them, and I guess she’s finally accepting appointments.”
“Do you think she knows anything?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t really tell her much about our situation. Just that we were looking into blood bonds, their formation and possible breaking of them. I figure we can give more information in private, if we’re comfortable.”
Kyuhyun nodded slowly, stuffing another piece of meat into his mouth. Even if Zhou Mi hadn’t sampled the spices he saw Kyuhyun slathering on, his mouth still smarted in sympathy.
“So basically, we shouldn’t get any hopes up. And just see what she has to say,” Kyuhyun said after a minute.
The surface of the tea in his cup wasn’t telling him anything, nor was the sizzle of meat or wafting clouds of greasy smoke. What hopes were there to have, again?
“That’s right,” he said. And believed that it had to turn out for the best. It had to.
***
It was almost shocking to realize how fast time went. Kyuhyun was like just about every other worker, waking up on Monday and wishing the next day was Friday. Maybe it was wishing part of his life away, but it at least got him to the parts of his life that he enjoyed more.
But looking at the calendar, seeing how long it had been since Zhou Mi had bitten him, since they had registered, seemed unreal. Almost six weeks of a new routine. Five days of work, two days of leisure. Studying vampire facts. Existing beside Zhou Mi, and being his friend of a sort. Maybe it was wrong that he held himself back a little, but he figured it was also normal. He put on his blinders, and pretended everything was normal, that they were just roommates. And digging his nails into his leg while Zhou Mi fed kept most of the issues away. Most.
It was daylight when their meeting with the researcher was supposed to happen. Zhou Mi had met him at the subway stop by his work, in his special coverings, so that they could go together. Zhou Mi was even quieter than usual, which was odd, and he wondered at that. Maybe the researcher could tell them something, and maybe she couldn’t. He was trying not to let his hopes get too high, hoping at the very least that she could send them toward something that might be useful.
It wasn’t like Zhou Mi, in his getup, needed any introduction. She managed to shake both their hands, which he appreciated, even if she did seem rather overly interested in making sure Zhou Mi was seated comfortably in the office. It was an inoffensive place, mostly dominated by a large, messy desk and bookshelves. And some kind of potted plant that was shedding leaves at what looked like an unhealthy rate. The researcher herself was older than them, though well dressed. Or, well. She seemed older than either of them looked since Zhou Mi’s face was a little deceptive to his actual age.
“It’s very rare a blood bonded pair find their way to me. Usually I have to go search people out. Your emails seem to indicate that you’re looking for a way to end a blood bond? Was it an accidental bonding, or are you looking to divorce?”
“It was not accidental,” Zhou Mi said, his fingers close to Kyuhyun’s arm on the armrest. “It was forced.”
“Oh. There have been maybe ten, twelve cases in the last decade. Usually as a result of kidnappings, sometimes of virtual strangers, or friends caught together at the wrong time.”
Her voice was dreamy, as though she was reciting information from deep place. Not that she was romanticizing it. He supposed to someone it was fascinating. Maybe it would have been to him, too, if it wasn’t real life.
“That is the danger,” she continued. “The idea of vampire blood bonds is really fascinating. Really fascinating.”
“If you think it’s so cool, why don’t you have one yourself?” Kyuhyun asked. And he glanced at Zhou Mi to make sure he hadn’t taken it as Kyuhyun trying to give him away.
“It’s not that simple. Even finding an unbonded vampire doesn’t guarantee a match. And no reasonable person would ever use those kind of tactics- Forced bonds! Terrible. Criminal even.”
“Criminal. Yes. The police didn’t seem too interested. Now that we’re stuck, we want to know how to get out.”
“Even most of the lore doesn’t allow for breaking a bond. It’s a chemical, and physical process that actually changes the DNA of a vampire. Of course, in theory since the DNA was changed once, could it be again? There were experiments done, having a bonded vampire bite another human. But what was done was done. Nothing ever came from it.”
“So you’re saying there’s nothing we can do?” Kyuhyun asked, his stomach twisting.
She shook her head. “Not exactly. I think the most interesting thing is the vampires that can bite without bonding.”
Zhou Mi leaned forward almost as fast as he did. “What do you mean? How is that possible?”
“There has been speculation, oh, maybe for the past 20 years. Mostly by conspiracy theorists and whatnot, but it’s become more widely accepted that it’s possible that there is a subset of vampires. A “master race” even. A progenitor, of sorts. Whether it was an evolutionary thing, or perhaps interbreeding with humans cause a dilution of the antibodies - which causes the blood bonds - we aren’t sure. After all, no one has such a specimen to study.”
“Those “specimens” are as “human” as any other vampire,” Kyuhyun prodded, uncomfortable with the language.
“Of course. There’s no reason to think otherwise. The number of deaths from bites or exsanguinations are still fairly low, but there has been an uptick in some rural areas. If this vampire subset were once endangered, and coming back from that, it could explain it.”
“Or maybe they just weren’t reported accurately before?”
“That might account for some, but when the number of exsanguinations doubles year after year, I don’t think that can be explained.”
“We haven’t heard anything about that,” Zhou Mi said, frowning. “I searched all the news sites?”
“No, only researchers have been privy to that information. And of course I am telling you both under the strictest confidence. It wasn’t reported to keep panic to a minimum. Most vampires in urban environments are well-known, and easily identifiable. No one wanted to create witch hunts. Too easy for someone to target a bondmate and hasten the death process, even if it’s fully proven and documented that there is no continued danger to the public. Not that there was any danger to begin with.”
“But not to give warning?”
It was bad enough that he still had nightmares about being kidnapped off the street, but to think of being snatched by a vampire and bled to death? And for the families to have no answer, just that there was some threat out there waiting to hurt or kill some other innocent victim. It made his skin crawl, and almost made it look like what he and Zhou Mi engaged in, with Zhou Mi’s feeding, like the play of the most gentle puppies on earth. The researcher, however, was adamant that things weren’t being left to chance.
“Areas where deaths are occurring are warned as fully as possible. It’s not much different than a person with a gun. Don’t go outside at night alone, and things like that. The police aren’t intentionally trying to put people in danger. But whoever they are, they move quickly. But if we can find their secret? That’s your greatest chance. But it’s taken this long to even understand as much as we do. It could be years.”
“But certainly people are trying, for the others who had forced bonds?” Zhou Mi broke in. And Kyuhyun winced to think of another twenty, thirty people somewhere out there in the world who had started out just like them.
“I’ve spoken to many of those bondmates,” the researcher told them. “Some still would like to find a way, but most have found a very comfortable life together.”
“And that’s what you suggest for us?” Kyuhyun demanded. “Just sit back and pretend we didn’t have a crime perpetrated on us, and just be happy?”
It wasn’t as though he was trying to be rude. The mixed messages were swirling in his head. But the stare that was fixed on him could have frozen a boiling pot of water, and he was reminded of nothing so much as his own mother giving him a reprimanding stare.
“You could also be consumed by rage and dissatisfaction, take up vendettas, and die an early death. How you live your life is certainly not up to me. I don’t have any recommendations. You are free to choose how to live. Does your preference run to men…?’
Kyuhyun’s brain stumbled. “Yes, but- What does that have to do with anything?”
“Just taking notes for my file. Don’t worry, it’s entirely confidential. I have Zhou Mi’s information from the government, so I’m just curious as to how you fit in.”
“I’m not here to be part of your research,” Kyuhyun said, standing slowly. “I just want to figure out how to get on with my life.”
“It has been hard to adjust. For both of us,” Zhou Mi said, standing as well, and his tone only slightly apologetic for Kyuhyun’s words.
Her glance was sharply amused. “I understand. If you have more questions or need referrals, let me know. I’m curious to know how you are getting along.”
He let Zhou Mi take care of answering that, a lot more polite and smooth that Kyuhyun’s answer would’ve been. Sure, she was trying to help, but she was too much a researcher to let things go. Like the fact that they were real people, living real lives. And not just “subjects.” But if there were vampires out there who could bite at will? Perhaps there was something that none of the researchers knew, some secret no one had discovered. And he knew, as Zhou Mi met his eyes, that they were thinking the same thing. But he’d also heard her time estimate. Possibly years before anything was discovered. He crossed his arms over his chest in the sway of the subway, and watched the looks people sent at Zhou Mi. His hand flew to Zhou Mi’s shoulder as they rounded a curve, steadying himself.
But that wasn’t why it stayed there.
***
Author: Coley Merrin
Pairing: Zhou Mi/Kyuhyun
Rating: R
Genre: AU, Vampires, Angst, Fluff
Warnings: Brief violence, angst, sexual situations.
Summary: Research points to a vampire bite being unbreakable, but Kyuhyun can't give up. And with Zhou Mi, he works to undo the blood bond that forced them together.
***
Chapter One * Chapter Two & Three * Chapter Four & Five * Chapter Six & Seven * Chapter Eight & Nine
***
Zhou Mi's week had been rather satisfying as a whole. He’d gotten Kyuhyun’s dresser in place, got rid of a useless dust-catching table so Kyuhyun’s chair had a place, and evicted all the empty boxes. If he stood in one location and squinted, he almost couldn’t tell that there was still a great state of flux in other areas. It had only taken a week and a half, but the kitchen was half done, but there were some small appliances and tools that he didn’t know what to do with. Kyuhyun had also given him the go-ahead to put away clothes, with a small rundown of where he usually kept stuff. It meant he was able to fill his days, as well as getting to see the actual state of Kyuhyun’s clothing. From work clothes down to his underwear. And the underwear was nice enough. Not new, but no holes big enough to drive his fingers through. He wasted only a very normal amount of time actually imagining Kyuhyun in the underwear, as he folded them and tucked them in the drawer. He didn’t consider it a chore, or that he was somehow becoming Kyuhyun’s spouse. He was just doing what needed to be done so. He was pretty sure Kyuhyun wasn’t ready to get rid of his bedframe and mattress, even if it was just standing against a wall. It was like his last vestige of independence. That he still had a bed if the blood bond could be broken.
Zhou Mi’s hope on that front was a little below believing Santa Claus was real. But it wasn’t like it cost anything to keep the bed around, anyway. He didn’t want to give false hope, but he also didn’t want to be the one who tore dreams down. And being free of Zhou Mi probably comprised of a large part of Kyuhyun’s dreams by then.
Kyuhyun’s work clothes, and just seeing him go out the door, made Zhou Mi kind of hum to himself. He wasn’t going to alter clothes without getting measurements, but he was waiting for a time at which Kyuhyun seemed in a good mood and wouldn’t break his hand for getting close to his crotch with a measuring tape. Even if they just started with a single pair of pants, or taking in one slightly-oversized shirt, Kyuhyun would look a lot more put-together. And then he kind of dreamed of what he’d do if he could make Kyuhyun a pair of pants from the ground up. That still required a few measurements. Using one of the existing pants as a template wasn’t exactly high on his priority list. The next time he went shopping, he decided he’d pick up patterns for men’s suits, and some appropriate suiting material. He could research and find the best cuts. That was way more productive to him than sifting through old books. But he’d made a promise to Kyuhyun, so he figured he’d find a way to do both. Kyuhyun was gone a lot at work, after all.
He had flung himself onto the couch for a nap by the time Kyuhyun trundled in the door. It was raining, he could smell that, and noticed it quite a lot in the way that Kyuhyun’s hair dripped in places. Not too fastidious with the umbrella, clearly.
“Two days of no suits,” Kyuhyun seemed to exult, hanging his outer jacket on one of the pegs. “I’ll just change and eat if there’s nothing you have planned?”
“No, nothing. Go ahead,” Zhou Mi said, peering at him curiously from over the back of the couch.
He managed to get upright by the time Kyuhyun had changed, and when his offer of help was politely turned down, he took a seat at the table. If they could do nothing else, they could keep talking, keep getting to know each other. As long as it didn’t seem to be straining them, he figured it had to be making them stronger. He waited a little while, for Kyuhyun to get a few bites in and get settled.
“So you think this week went okay at work, overall?”
Kyuhyun hadn’t told him of any major issues in the last week, or this one, but if he was holding back something, it wasn’t like Zhou Mi could magically see it. But as much as he could tell, as much as he could hope, it had probably went okay.
“Yeah, it was okay. Just a couple weird moments. Like the other day when I got asked if all your boy parts are the same as anyone else’s. He actually hinted he had been interesting in dating me. That was definitely weird, because he’d never-”
“What?” Zhou Mi asked, on his feet before he really knew what he was doing. One of those men had been interested in Kyuhyun? That he’d spoken to, talked to?
Kyuhyun blinked at him. “What, what?”
“Who does that kind of thing? Who propositions someone-“
“Whoa,” Kyuhyun said, laughing. “It’s not like he tackled me and offered sex.”
“I know, but- There’s more than just a flimsy engagement between us. He shouldn’t even have been speaking to you that way.”
“What, you’re jealous?” Kyuhyun asked, and the sound of the surprise in that one question had his sanity breaking.
“You aren’t his to take! You-“
“I’m not yours!” Kyuhyun argued. “You don’t own me. As long as I keep feeding you, so what if I sleep with a hundred guys? You don’t-“
The biting pain behind Zhou Mi’s eyes had his hands balling, covering his face in horror. He hadn’t had a headache shoot through him like that since his father had died. The price of letting his emotions overtake him. He felt his balance give, and heard Kyuhyun ask him hollowly if he was okay.
“Sorry,” he choked, wheeling around, walking nearly blind. Feeling his way with only a few stumbles to their bed. The agony of the headache was almost overwhelming, like his temples were being crushed. He moaned into the blanket, and tried to will it away.
He didn’t even know how long he lay there before he felt a touch on his arm.
“Hey. What’s wrong?”
“Headache, sorry.”
Kyuhyun made a soft sound. “I didn’t know vampires could get headaches.”
“When I let my feelings overwhelm me. I just need to calm down.”
He breathed, and squirmed away from Kyuhyun’s touch.
“Will feeding help it? Zhou Mi?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know.”
“Try.”
Kyuhyun was nearly hugging him from the side, to get his arm against Zhou Mi’s mouth. And it took several moments through the pain, to even figure out how to loose his teeth. He didn’t think the blood did anything for the pain, but it did soothe something in him. Something maybe that was driving it.
“Thank you,” he whispered after a bare minute. “That’s a little better.”
And nearly whimpered when Kyuhyun’s body heat left him. But the light turned off, plunging them into the half-light from outside the bedroom window. And Kyuhyun nudged him over further.
“My mom used to do this for me when I got really stressed out about school,” Kyuhyun said softly.
And Kyuhyun’s hands began to knead at Zhou Mi’s shoulders. Thumbs working knots, rubbing down the back of his neck. Maybe it was the hypnotic movement of Kyuhyun’s hands, or the effects of it. Or maybe it was the contact. The heat of Kyuhyun was like a furnace. The bond, perhaps, enhanced it. To be missing contact, to remember again how bad it had been to lose it. To know again how good it was. If Kyuhyun’s hope was right, and he had to think of it almost in the abstract to keep the pain away, how did he live alone again?
“Don’t want to be alone,” he chattered through trembling lips, barely aware that he’d said it out loud.
“I could use a nap,” Kyuhyun said. “I’ll stay here a while. Get some rest.”
It was good, that Kyuhyun had misunderstood. But his words were telling, too. Naps were fleeting, short. They inevitably came to an end. Just as it was possible their time together would.
***
He came out of sleep with a start, nearly rolling before he felt a hand on his back.
“Hey, you’re going to push me off the bed.”
With his neck twisted, he could see that Kyuhyun was still behind him. The bedside lamp was on, Kyuhyun reading as he sat next to Zhou Mi.
“You feeling any better?” Kyuhyun asked him.
“The ache is mostly gone,” Zhou Mi said. “Thanks.”
“Headaches aren’t any fun. I didn’t know it was going to tweak you like that.”
He laughed, with some care. “Believe me, I didn’t either.”
“I’m not, you know. Not going to go try and start dating or something. Maybe the registration is a formality, but unless you’re into kinky threesomes or something, we just need to work through this together.”
“Definitely not into that,” he said, smiling into the blanket. The idea of sharing wasn’t one he’d figured out yet when it came to Kyuhyun, clearly.
“Shower, then, and get some extra sleep.”
He felt unsteady, standing, but finally got himself back together. The hot water felt like it revived him, washing some of the nasty feelings away. Having another small reassurance of Kyuhyun’s fidelity, he repeated those words to himself. That dedication he returned. He had not been in bed long before he heard Kyuhyun start to get ready to sleep as well. And he slept, knowing Kyuhyun was not far away.
****
Zhou Mi tried not to call Eunhyuk often. Occasionally, there were little things that spurred him to it. Hopes and fears. Kyuhyun moving in. The aftermath of meeting Kyuhyun’s coworkers. Those were the big things he had called Eunhyuk after. At first, mostly to let Eunhyuk know he was okay. But also for advice. What little advice they had between them, anyway. There wasn’t any way either of them knew of to help a man accept his new life status. Besides Zhou Mi being patient and understanding, and hoping that Kyuhyun would like who he was. Eunhyuk was almost disgusted by Zhou Mi’s attitude, like the onus was all on him. But Zhou Mi knew that wasn’t true. But no matter how stressful it was occasionally, and how much worry Zhou Mi put into it, there were things to be glad about. Kyuhyun wasn’t storming around the apartment screaming at him, or even being sullen. They’d moved a little beyond a simple true of trying to get along, and Zhou Mi was glad of it.
But Eunhyuk’s immediate reaction on hearing Zhou Mi’s voice was that something was wrong. And inside, it kind of still felt that way.
“Kyuhyun was telling me about a man at work. I guess this guy had been interested in him, but never asked.”
“And Kyuhyun told you about that?” Eunhyuk asked, sounding surprised.
“I don’t think he meant it cruelly. I think it was awkward for him, too. But it just got to me. One of those headaches. That there’s someone there who wants to flirt with Kyuhyun. Just having that option out there, maybe it makes me seem even worse to him. I feel like I shouldn’t be so possessive, but I can’t help it.”
“He’s your only source of food. It’s obvious you wouldn’t want him spread around. The bond is supposed to be deeper than that.”
“I know,” Zhou Mi said.
“Then you’re attracted to him.”
“I don’t-“ Zhou Mi hesitated. “Maybe.”
“Zhou Mi. You’ve been living together for almost two weeks. You should probably know that.”
“Of course I do. And I am. He’s very attractive to me, and not just because I can smell myself in him. His eyes are- You don’t need to hear this.”
“Just don’t let your attraction to his eyes make you let him treat you like crap,” Eunhyuk told him, his voice fierce in Zhou Mi’s defense. “It doesn’t matter how cute he is, or how guilty you feel. You don’t deserve to have him throw guys in your face and beat you down inside.”
His impression was that Eunhyuk’s opinion of Kyuhyun was a little lower than what it could be. Considering when he got desperate and called, sometimes he was in despair, or just telling about the ways they agreed to get along. And not saying as much about the little things, like the way Kyuhyun hounded after him to eat, and the way Kyuhyun kicked his thigh while they watched TV to get him to pay attention to a particularly intense scene. Or the way that Kyuhyun was more comfortable around him, and sometimes how a simple smile lit Zhou Mi up inside. He told himself he would talk more about those things, and less about the ones that upset him. Because those were less, even as he tried carefully not to let his expectations rise. They’d come so far, but Zhou Mi had no idea how far they had left to go. Or how far Kyuhyun would want them to.
***
Kyuhyun spent the next morning reading, and listening to Zhou Mi putter while a CD wailed. He still felt vaguely guilty for the day before. He’d had enough tension headaches to know what they felt like, but Zhou Mi had woken and waved off his question on how he felt. It was a little disquieting to think that Zhou Mi took things between them so seriously. Like they really had said vows of some kind. Only in blood instead of words. But he hadn’t lied. He’d made his promises, too just as Zhou Mi had.
He knew, hearing movement, that Zhou Mi was taking care of his own clothes, or he’d have felt like a sloth just sitting around. At least happy to sit until his stomach complained, and he realize that he didn’t have anything he wanted to eat. He kind of left the fact that he was going out open ended, but Zhou Mi didn’t make any sort of noises that he wanted to go. It was no skin off of Kyuhyun’s back, and he juggled his keys and cell phone and went out to decide what he wanted. But eating out, that he didn’t really feel like doing. It took him longer than usual, wandering and thinking. He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to think about everything. And every time he tried, he just got more confused. But at least he eventually decided what he wanted to eat. He unlocked the door, his dinner in one hand, and ready to call out that he was home. Or, he would’ve, but he’d looked up as he stepped inside and realized a rather important fact.
There was a naked man in the middle of the apartment.
And not just any naked man - a naked Zhou Mi.
And okay, he wasn’t totally naked. He was wearing a pair of underwear, and was holding a shirt with the clear intention of putting it on. But that didn’t keep Kyuhyun’s eyes from roaming from Zhou Mi’s feet, up his legs, waist, shoulders.
“Holy fuck,” he barked, sagging back against the closed door.
“What is it? What’s wrong?” Zhou Mi demanded, dropping the shirt he was holding in favor of racing up to Kyuhyun and reaching for him. “Did something happen?”
“No. No, I’m fine,” he answered when he got his brain cells back from the flashing thighs. Mostly. “Why are you naked? And what genetic lottery did you win?”
Zhou Mi frowned, finally seeming to note that Kyuhyun’s eyes had certainly not been on his face. Great move on Kyuhyun’s part, that one.
“My body? Kyuhyun- Here I think you’ve gotten mugged or harassed, and you’re talking about me?”
“Do all vampires look like you?”
“I don’t know. There isn’t some kind of vampire convention. I don’t think so, though. Our human mothers would have a varied gene pool. You think I’m hot?”
“So would the sun,” Kyuhyun said, still a little nonplussed by all the naked skin in his face. “Go- Go get clothes on. You’re distracting.”
Zhou Mi laughed. “You’re so cute.”
“Get,” he said, swatting at Zhou Mi. And watching that trim little butt move in his underwear as Zhou Mi wandered back to grab his abandoned shirt. And made sure to look very, very busy when Zhou Mi looked back to check if he was watching.
It had turned out that Zhou Mi had showered, and not thinking Kyuhyun would be home so soon, had wandered out to take his pick from the warm clothes he’d been drying.
“Good thing none of the windows face into someone else’s,” Kyuhyun joked.
“I didn’t come out totally naked,” Zhou Mi retorted.
He, for all Kyuhyun’s imagination cared, might as well have been. It wasn’t like a man’s body was a mystery. He wasn’t caught off guard by the fact that Zhou Mi had two arms, two legs, and a dick. He hadn’t been all keyed up to get distracted by a river of naked skin, was the problem. At least he’d had something to distract himself, in his meal. And Zhou Mi had been a little, slightly, apologetic about it anyway. He could just put it out of his head. And maybe be a little envious of those thighs, but no. Really, just setting it aside. He’d really think of something good to fantasize about in the shower, something very not Zhou Mi, and just get it out of his system.
***
They were in bed by the time that Zhou Mi pressed him to feed, and his arm went out automatically. As the week had gone on, he hadn’t really realized that there were a few extra sensations going on. The continuing newness of having a mouth biting him or something. And he was pretty sure it wasn’t just because he’d seen Zhou Mi mostly naked. Not that he’d been thinking about that. At all. But that night, it seemed different, because the warmth and tingles from the bite weren’t just in innocuous places like his shins or elbows. There was a definite flush that had his thighs moving of their own volition, gritting his teeth as he felt a stir. And it didn’t really surprise him, because it felt like someone was breathing on his crotch. Resisting that kind of stimulation was kind of hard for any man. He focused on breathing slowly, focusing on anything but Zhou Mi’s butt or his underwear, or his face, of the fact that he was right now biting Kyuhyun. He tried to focus on nice things, like hang nails, and splinters, and getting F’s on tests.
And not focusing on Zhou Mi murmuring and adjusting the wet of his mouth on Kyuhyun’s arm. He’d actually almost cowed himself into thinking of something else, and then he was raising his knees in case he couldn’t get back to his happy place. Ice cubes. Things with razor sharp teeth. Snapping near his balls. That worked. Mostly. That and the fact that Zhou Mi finished, licking his arm for several seconds before wiping it clean.
“How was the feast?” Kyuhyun joked.
“Very good.”
He tried to relax as Zhou Mi finished getting settled, happy to have his body back under his control. Still, Zhou Mi’s next words had him jolting.
“So you think I’m attractive?” Zhou Mi asked, as he turned off the light and scooted into bed beside Kyuhyun. “I do like that pair of underwear.”
Attractive. Not because Kyuhyun had been almost getting turned on but because of his stupid words. He closed his eyes and groaned. “Are you going to let that go? I was surprised by all the nudity, okay?”
“I know, and I appreciate that. But you thought I had good genes? If you thought I was hot, then you might be sexually attracted to me, which is good because if we’re bonded, then-“
“What?” he squawked.
“You have had sex?” Zhou Mi asked him, huffing far too near to the back of his neck.
“What? Yes. Obviously, of course I have.”
“Well, then someday… Hmm.”
He didn’t like the sound of that sound Zhou Mi made, but a thought occurred to him.
“You’ve had sex?” he asked Zhou Mi, and got a long pause for his question.
“Yes, a couple of times, but it wasn’t meaningful.”
Curiosity. Cats. Whatever. “You’re just going to leave it like that? What do you mean, meaningful? One night stands?”
Zhou Mi’s voice was so soft, he almost had to straighten to hear it. “No. I went to a high school with humans my last year, when they ordered that vampire children be allowed. And you know how it is with humans sometimes. I was a freak, some kind of monster, so I ranked pretty high on the conquest scale. The first time was me being led on, but the second time- I was more wary, because I heard the rumor that others were going to try and sleep with me. So I dated someone, and it led to sex, and- It was just a ruse, too.”
Kyuhyun cursed under his breath at the ignorant children who had abused Zhou Mi’s trust. “Were they girls, guys?”
“One of each,” Zhou Mi admitted. “I guess that’s why I got fooled.”
“You’re not a freak, or a monster. You’re just a guy.”
Zhou Mi’s hand was warm on his waist, a sort of knowing that Zhou Mi was touching him, and near. And the warmth intensified, as Zhou Mi seemed to lean closer to his back.
“Thank you, Kyuhyun. That means so much to me, to hear it from you.”
“Well you have to hear it from someone. So go to sleep before the hotness burns or something.”
Zhou Mi seemed to giggle softly to himself, squeezing Kyuhyun’s side before taking back his hand. But he didn’t move, radiating warmth at Kyuhyun’s back in a way that made him want to turn, and bask in it. And maybe there was the tiny question of him wondering if Zhou Mi found him hot. Which totally had no bearing on anything. He was just curious, that was all.
Just curious.
***
Kitchen, done. Bedroom, no small thanks to Zhou Mi and his clothes hanging, done. Books, done. Shelves for all his miscellaneous paperwork and crap, done. The apartment looked more full, but he could still see the very definite traces of Zhou Mi around in the decorations and artifacts. It wasn’t like he’d wanted to erase that.
Sunday had been the day for hauling off everything he hadn’t needed, things too bulky to keep around in duplicate. Things that he wouldn’t have trouble replacing if he ended up living on his own again. When, he tried to correct himself. When. Donating most everything, trashing what was too old to be of use. Nothing truly valuable, anyway. And Zhou Mi, in his special outfit, had helped. The looks they had gotten, especially from some older people, had made him want to say something incredibly unkind. Zhou Mi had just kept his chin up, sunglasses on. And he had to have seen it, too. But he lasted, getting his lunch and eating, and retreating to another of the books.
It was interesting to note as he read, that it had not been much more than a century since vampires had been officially recognized. Feared, reviled, discriminated against. Some of the older texts, even if they were describing vampires medically, described them in such sub-human ways. Creature. Abomination. Like some demon had just stepped right up and chosen to spawn a few inconveniences on humanity. If Zhou Mi had been born back then, and deposited at a hospital, there was a good chance he’d have ended up as a research specimen, or “accidentally” dead. Apparently “putting down” younger vampires wasn’t quite as difficult as after they got their teeth.
“Reading this is disgusting,” he said, getting Zhou Mi to look up. “It’s like they’re examining something worse than a dog.”
“It’s something they didn’t understand,” Zhou Mi said. “And it’s changed.”
“Sort of. But they understood it enough to know that almost everything about vampires was basically the same as humans.”
“Even more reason to fear it, don’t you think? If vampires had say, looked like water buffalo, wouldn’t that have just been an interesting new species?”
“Water…” He burst out laughing, imagining Zhou Mi with a pair of horns. “There’s just not a lot of logic to the response.”
“Who said people are logical?” Zhou Mi asked, shrugging. “I can only be what I can be. I can’t teach them to like me. But I could have it a lot worse.”
“Worse than people guaranteeing you’re going to die?”
Zhou Mi’s lips curved, but it was not a smile. “Yes, worse than that. Don’t worry about me.”
“Don’t worry, I’m doing fine getting in worry where it’s called for. Like making sure I have clothes for tomorrow.”
“Oh!” Zhou Mi got to his feet as though he’d just said something exciting. “You have this pair of pants that you wear. They look about a size or two too big?”
He knew exactly what pair of pants Zhou Mi was talking about. A mis-read of a label or a fat day, he wasn’t sure which. There was comfortable, and then there was a sack. He’d just never taken the time or expense to get them tailored. Which probably he should’ve cared more, but really? Who cared. Besides Zhou Mi.
“Would you let me alter them for you? Or would you like me to, I guess. I can take them in a little so they don’t look like you borrowed them from, well. Someone else.”
“Sure?” That was what Zhou Mi did after all, right? And short of making them too small for Kyuhyun to get into, he wasn’t sure what Zhou Mi could do to make them look worse. And then if so, they’d have new rags or something.
Zhou Mi buzzed off muttering to himself, and Kyuhyun listened as loud rustles emanated from the spare room. Zhou Mi emerged with what looked like a notepad, a pen, and a long cloth tape measure.
“Could you stand up for a minute?” Zhou Mi asked, encouraging him up with a gesture. “I just need some measurements.”
The waist and hip measurements were fine, really. Zhou Mi was quick, efficient. Scribbling down numbers that he didn’t really want to look at, and humming to himself.
“I have to measure your inseam, so. Um.” Zhou Mi made a gesture at his crotch, kneeling, and Kyuhyun gave a go-ahead nod. What could he do? Say no? But he had to swallow an uncomfortable giggle as Zhou Mi’s hand brushed the inside of his thigh. Doing nothing inappropriate obviously, even given that, well. His hands were right there. The measuring tape being smoothed down his leg.
“You’re pretty tall, actually- Ahh!“
Zhou Mi’s shriek was almost louder than the scream of shattering glass. His hands went up instinctively, Zhou Mi’s weight against his legs collapsing him back onto the couch. Unsure of where the sound had come from at first before he realized it had been the window. And Zhou Mi was gone, scrambling from the room, with a string of half-shouted denials. The urge to flee or defend left him with an unsettling shake in his hands, and he nearly stepped forward without thinking about it. Walking cautiously to the door, to find shoes. The living room window’s top pane, with no screen to protect it, had shattered, sending glass through the room. His first thought was a bird. Or maybe a kid throwing something? But they were two floors up. It was when he saw the brick that he thought of the fire escape.
Two words were scrawled on it. Die vampire.
And into the room, spilled lots of very natural, unfiltered sunlight. Right at where he and Zhou Mi had been. He had no idea what was going to filter out the sun, he just knew he needed to try. A double thickness garbage bag and masking tape were his makeshift solution. He couldn’t go to Zhou Mi without blocking at least most of it out. The room was significantly darkened by his haphazard taping, but he knew the bags weren’t going anywhere. And closing the bedroom door behind him, he searched for Zhou Mi. Not in the bed, or under it, or in the bathroom. The closet. He tapped the door of it lightly.
“Zhou Mi? Are you okay? Can I open the door? Everything’s closed up.”
“Yeah,” he heard, and he slid the door back.
“You’re okay?”
“I got scalded a bit,” Zhou Mi admitted, his face in shadows. “But I got away pretty fast, so it’s not bad.”
“You need an apartment in a basement.”
“No! The sun-“ Zhou Mi protested.
Was worth the risk, Kyuhyun assumed. It was bad enough to be sensitive, but to be denied it entirely? Zhou Mi reached for him, and he wasn’t sure what to do. Staying still as Zhou Mi grasped his sides.
Kyuhyun stared up at the hanging clothes. “Is your protective gear in here?”
“The bathroom.”
“Okay. I’ll get it, and you can help me figure out who we’re supposed to call to get a new window. I’ll clean up the mess, and you can hang out in a corner somewhere.”
“That sounds like a good plan,” Zhou Mi said, his hands still tight on Kyuhyun’s waist.
“Since you were hurt, er. Do you need to feed?”
The swallow was audible, the intake of breath.
“Please.”
He moved slightly to the side, Zhou Mi not letting him go. Banding him with one arm, even as Kyuhyun lifted his own arm to give Zhou Mi access. The sensations by then were not new, the flushing warmth, tingling skin. He focused on Zhou Mi’s hand holding his arm, barely able to make out pale fingers against his skin. Better to focus on that, and not the way that Zhou Mi was petting his waist like some kind of nursing kitten. Maybe Zhou Mi needed the blood, or maybe he just needed the comfort. Either one, it was not a long feed, Zhou Mi sighing and letting his arm go, all but sagging into him.
“Thank you,” Zhou Mi told him. “I’m better.”
It was odd, he noticed, that the tingles from the feed hadn’t stopped. But as Zhou Mi breathed against his neck, he realized they were a different kind entirely.
***
***
To say Kyuhyun was pissed was a little bit of an understatement. After he’d retrieved the fine reflective cloth for Zhou Mi to put on, he actually surveyed the damage. Glass flying to where they’d been standing. Hell, they could’ve been hit by the brick. When Zhou Mi emerged, he was covered, though the only real noticeable places were his hands, in gloves, and his head. Even if it was sheer, it was noticeable over his face, and Kyuhyun forced himself to look away.
“So what do we do with this.”
“We can get it clean. I don’t know if we can get it replaced today, but we might be able to get ahold of someone to get an order in,” Zhou Mi said.
Kyuhyun flipped through their phone book just in case, as Zhou Mi called the landlord. Apparently the windows had been pre-installed, so Zhou Mi didn’t even have a number. But the landlord would have.
“Yes, as soon as possible would be great. Tomorrow morning would be fine, but I wanted to let you know.”
That, and the police report. Though the police were about as much help as they had been on the kidnapping, taking a few pictures and taking statements, and being on their way.
So it was Kyuhyun, with a broom and a dust pan and a garbage bag, who stared down the scattered glass.
“Let’s get this up before it shreds one of us. Or, me, I guess.
“I can’t be cut by the glass, so let me do it,” Zhou Mi said, reaching for the hand that held the broom.
“I’m not worried about you being cut. But your gloves aren’t impervious to it, or that cloth you have to wear. How much does that cost to replace, anyway?”
“We’re supplied it free of cost,” Zhou Mi told him. “I have no less than three suits kept exactly like this. I’d rather shred a host of gloves than see you get hurt. Let me do this.”
The material of the glove was soft, clutching his, and Zhou Mi’s eyes oddly intense, even through the cloth covering his face. Though he wanted to sweep that cloth back and reveal the fall of Zhou Mi’s perpetually shiny hair, and actually see the emotion cross that face.
He tugged his hand free of Zhou Mi’s with a silent curse at his stupid thoughts. “I’ll go be useless somewhere else then.”
“No,” Zhou Mi laughed. “You can hold the bag for me? Please?”
And with Kyuhyun’s hands and arms moderately shielded, he did. Holding the bag as Zhou Mi swept and lifted and dumped glass into it. Going through the couch with a vacuum, the floors and corners. Again, not that Zhou Mi could be hurt, but stepping on a shard could be pretty painful for Kyuhyun. Zhou Mi didn’t end up destroying his gloves after all. Though the black-festooned window, even with the half-window and inside light still gave a sort of pall to the room.
“You did a good job closing it up,” Zhou Mi remarked. “Was that a whole roll of tape?”
He just elbowed Zhou Mi and scanned the floor, in case they’d missed something. Luckily their desks or TV weren’t right in front of it, or it would’ve been a real mess. The image of his smashed laptop because of a brick made him shudder a little bit inside.
“You don’t need me to stay or anything for the window replacement?”
Zhou Mi shook his head. “The building manager will take care of the voucher, and will probably oversee the installation. I’ll make sure he looks at the fire escape as well. So you don’t have to worry about me. I’ll just be wearing less when you get home.”
Considering he had seen Zhou Mi in nothing but his underwear, how much less was less? But he didn’t speak it. Just sitting, contemplating who would throw a brick through someone’s window. And letting the anger sink through him.
But that night, when he was in his pajamas and still internally grousing when he caught sight of the plastic, he was caught off guard. Joking to Zhou Mi about who’d left their socks in the middle of the floor that time, and suddenly encompassed by long arms.
“Sorry,” Zhou Mi said, uncomfortably close to his ear. “But I have to thank you. Really. For everything. If there is nothing else you want from me, I hope you will be my- My friend.”
Maybe they were bonded by blood. Maybe circumstance had forced them together. Maybe there were things about Zhou Mi that he didn’t want to think about, and things he figured he needed to keep to himself. Maybe it wasn’t going to last forever. But none of his arguments allowed him to think that it would be a bad idea to become this man’s friend.
“We already are,” Kyuhyun confirmed.
And got a sigh, and those tingles again. He really, really had to keep Zhou Mi away from his neck. When he came home the next day, there was a new window, and Zhou Mi smiling at him over the back of the couch.
***
Kyuhyun’s clothes, with Zhou Mi having his measurements and permission, were slowly being transformed. It wasn’t like they were magically nicer, but even he could tell they fit better. And fitting better didn’t even mean his circulation was being cut off. Because clearly his legs and thighs were not Zhou Mi’s. Not that he thought about those usually except in the abstract. He tried to keep actual study of those things to a proximity-awareness, and nothing more than that. He wasn’t sure if fantasizing about random guys he saw day to day was more or less sane than just giving in and wondering about Zhou Mi’s collarbones.
But whatever it meant, it still got him better-looking clothes over the course of the first few weeks. And maybe Zhou Mi got something out of it too, like thinking people who connected Zhou Mi to him wouldn’t be thinking he’d been tied to a guy who didn’t know how to dress. Or something. Satisfaction from his handwork, maybe. Of course, if that was how Zhou Mi earned cash? And he was using his time on Kyuhyun’s things? After the first pair of pants, after a few days since he was smart and couldn’t come up with ideas quickly, he had offered to pay Zhou Mi for it. And the look that had crossed Zhou Mi’s face? Horrified didn’t even begin to cover it.
“I take from you,” Zhou Mi had told him, his face a mask of seriousness that would have put any high school principal to shame. “Please let me do this for you.”
It had put Kyuhyun at a little bit of a loss, too. Because he didn’t exactly want Zhou Mi to feel indebted to him. Sure, Zhou Mi was taking his blood. But he was also housing Kyuhyun - for free - and putting up with his presence. Saying it like Kyuhyun expected more from him was almost beyond his ability to reason. And he was sure his voice sounded as nonplussed as he was.
“I don’t expect it. You don’t have to do that for me.”
Zhou Mi had smiled. “I know. I appreciate that, Kyuhyun. And I don’t feel like I’m really paying you back. It’s just something that I can do, that I like to do. It’s been a long time since I had someone to do things for. You do a lot for me, too.”
“I don’t know what,” he muttered.
“Just being here.”
Discussing what to watch on TV. Debating, really. Once they’d figured out that no one was going to explode or go storming off. And after a few nights of subtle, if friendly, sniping, Zhou Mi had drawn up a chart. How many times there were conflicting times, and evening those between them. And then figuring out which could be easily watched online. Compromises. It wasn’t like he’d been living so long alone that he didn’t remember what it was like to have to give a little. And truthfully, it was probably good for him. Zhou Mi was, most of the time, accommodating, but that fashion runway show? He’d have needed a stampeding elephant to get that remote out of Zhou Mi’s fist. Or maybe even more, who knew.
***
Zhou Mi wasn’t sure who, between the two of them, had to adjust the most to having another person around. Zhou Mi had certainly lived on his own the longest, but he also had an appreciation for having another person around in his space. It was less quiet, less cold. Maybe there were little things he sort of rolled his eyes at, like Kyuhyun’s scattered dirty socks, or the dirty dishes that went ignored. But that was hardly a deal-breaker. He’d tried to get Kyuhyun to tell him if anything bothered him, but when Kyuhyun had his face in his laptop, it was a little hard to get anything out of him but a stare. That and sheepishness, when Zhou Mi shoved a plate of cut-up fruit at him. He was getting a little better at the knife wielding. Maybe he’d looked up videos on the internet, but he wasn’t going to tell Kyuhyun that.
It had become almost surprisingly - normal. Kyuhyun didn’t carry a book around with him every moment he was home, but Zhou Mi knew not to take that as some kind of assurance that Kyuhyun accepted the blood bond. It just meant that Kyuhyun had gotten beyond the basic books, and into the dry, and sometimes fantastical ones. And the other problem was that Zhou Mi’s collection was by no means complete. His job was finding a collector who would let them see one of the rare books that Zhou Mi could not hope to afford, or even someone who fancied themselves an expert. There were no “vampire doctors” but there were people who studied, both the lore and fact. But this one was out of the country, and that one wasn’t accepting appointments. All he had to his credit was patience, and the tiny twinge in his heart when he made lists to check back around with someone’s secretary. In a month or two. Kind of twofold, because in a month or two they might find something that would let Kyuhyun leave unhindered. And in a month or two they might not. He wondered if Kyuhyun would be disgusted if he knew that Zhou Mi’s hope was torn. He wanted Kyuhyun to be happy, he did. But was it so bad to harbor the tiniest hope that they could be happy together?
It was, more or less, like living with a friend. If friends slept in the same bed, or had a drinking blood arrangement. What did Kyuhyun want from a relationship? Any relationship? Sex? Companionship? Zhou Mi felt like he’d gotten out of the initial eggshell zone. Where he thought any wrong move he made was going to result in, well. Certain death for him. Certain discomfort for Kyuhyun. It wasn’t like Kyuhyun was a psychopath demanding things or else, which comforted him. Kyuhyun was patient with his alteration of Kyuhyun’s wardrobe, and at the barest level, accepting of most everything else. The one thing that he was supposed to guard well was his heart. But that was like a lot of other things in his life that he didn’t have a lot of control over. He couldn’t stop himself from being hungry, and he couldn’t stop himself from seeing Kyuhyun as some kind of salvation. It was easy, far too easy, to understand why his ancestors had tied themselves to humans. It was belonging, and it was more.
He hoarded stories over the days, to tell Kyuhyun when he got off from work. To see those eyes light up in humor, or have Kyuhyun’s mouth twist before the dam broke into full-out laughter. Just to lean against the counter some nights and watch or help Kyuhyun get his dinner ready was fulfilling. Kyuhyun talking about his day, usually with some biting comment that had Zhou Mi in stitches imagining it.
He’d only ever once asked about the man that Kyuhyun had said had hit on him. Kyuhyun had dismissed it, saying he hadn’t heard anything else out of the guy. It calmed Zhou Mi’s nerves on the subject a little, but he couldn’t help the worry.
“I’m starving!” Kyuhyun exclaimed, all but bursting out of their bedroom in his casual clothes. A soft green shirt that Zhou Mi perpetually wanted to pet. And did, when he was washing it. Kyuhyun never knew. “I want to eat out tonight, I think. There’s this restaurant that I really love. The beef is so amazing, seriously. It like melts off the pan, kind of crispy in places. Should try the-“
Kyuhyun seemed to pause, as though he realized that Zhou Mi did not have any interest in the food itself. Even after all the time they spent together, when every other person ate, he assumed it would be hard to remember all the time. Though he knew Kyuhyun had gotten carried away, not really speaking of Zhou Mi, but more of anyone who ate. But watching Kyuhyun enthuse about it was something he would not have traded.
“Don’t worry. At least I can watch you enjoy it,” he teased gently. Though it was quite a bit the truth.
“I don’t understand how you can be okay with just sitting when other people are eating.”
What difference was it, really, Zhou Mi wondered. Not everyone in the world ate the same as everyone else. Someone might get dessert while another person abstained, or getting a snack while others weren’t ready. It wasn’t like he looked at Kyuhyun and pictured him as a nice meaty bowl of soup, so it was just enjoying someone’s company during an activity he didn’t take part in - kind of like when Kyuhyun gamed, really.
“It’s not that bad,” he said, answering Kyuhyun’s comment. “Mealtimes can be really social, but if I have tea, and there is discussion, then I am fine. I’m happy you would want me there.”
“Well.” Kyuhyun paused. “It’s just awkward to leave you here and go out and eat. And it’s not like I care what anyone else thinks.”
He smiled at Kyuhyun and warmed his hands on his cup. It was true to a point, he figured, that Kyuhyun didn’t care what people thought. Only to a point. No one was impervious. And it was worse than Zhou Mi having some kind of deformity. He was completely normal, and he was completely not at the same time. Was he normal enough that would he have been wanted had Kyuhyun met him on the street? It was one thing to be friends, and another to contemplate something as involved as sex. Or even kissing.
A group of three couples clattered in, and Kyuhyun looked rather bemused as the room got even louder.
“People who are dating can be so annoying,” Kyuhyun lamented.
Zhou Mi laughed, not at Kyuhyun, but at the sentiment. “I wouldn’t know that very well.”
“Do you- Have you dated? Much?”
Zhou Mi’s fingers curled tight. “No. After that year of high school, I was wary. Most everyone I have known has been just a friend. There is still the occasional person that approaches me on the street, who thinks I’m kind of cool and weird, but those are easy to spot.
“So wait, you were telling me about high school a few weeks ago. So you were what, 18? You haven’t had sex in 30 years?”
“Shh! It’d only be…28.”
“Oh, practically yesterday then. Wow.”
Obviously it wouldn’t have been that long ago for Kyuhyun. His lips pursed, trying not to let the mental images of Kyuhyun pinning someone to a bed, sucking someone off, get the better of him. Obviously, since they’d washed over him anyway? It was a little futile to try and stop the train after it had left. At least he knew that for Kyuhyun it had been more than 30 days, unless Kyuhyun was truly more sneaky than he could imagine.
“Do you miss dating?” he asked Kyuhyun, almost wondering if he wanted to know. If there was some heartache in Kyuhyun’s past that would make Zhou Mi want to protect him. Or some person that Kyuhyun wanted but couldn’t have - because of Zhou Mi?
“I was never very good at it, actually. Even if the sex was decent, I think I picked a lot of- questionable people, anyway. It’s hard to stay interested when the guy looking back at you looks nice but is as engaging as a limp noodle.”
Limp noodle imagery brought up all other kinds of mental pictures.
“Were they not interested in you, or…?”
“Sure, they were interested in how regularly they could get laid.” Kyuhyun laughed, shaking his head. “Or maybe if they wanted to watch their sports games, or whatever. But I dated the opposite, too, the ones who wanted every second of my attention. Talking to me if the TV was on, or if I was on the phone, like they were little three year-olds looking for attention.”
“Sounds like you dated a lot of immature guys.”
“Exactly. Immature. Or maybe devoid of maturity, I don’t know. I didn’t realize that finding someone mostly normal was so hard.”
Normal. He knew Kyuhyun didn’t mean anything by the word, but it still sent Zhou Mi’s engagement in the hypothetical conversation splatting at his feet. Normal? Clearly something he could never be. The eccentric guy who sewed clothes and liked TV, and pretty things, and laughing. That, and contemplating Kyuhyun. His life. Kyuhyun glanced up, and their eyes locked for a long, uncomfortable moment.
“What about you?” Kyuhyun asked. “There wasn’t anyone you were interested in?”
The one man who was his, Zhou Mi thought. And could have shouted with relief that his phone started buzzing. Rude or not, he was answering it. He listened very carefully to the woman who spoke on the other end of the line. The secretary of a professor he’d been emailing in hopes of getting some attention. And they were offering a time.
“Oh! Yes. I am. Just one moment.” He lowered to phone and leaned toward Kyuhyun. “Can you get off work at 3, the day after tomorrow? To go see a researcher?”
Kyuhyun’s mouth bowed, and he nodded, indicating he could. Zhou Mi was nearly twisting in his chair.
“Yes. Yes ma’am. Thank you. We’ll see you then.” He sighed, sinking back. Kyuhyun was staring at him with curiosity, but Zhou Mi just smiled. “Finally. We finally got an appointment. There’s this expert I’ve been emailing for weeks, one of them, and I guess she’s finally accepting appointments.”
“Do you think she knows anything?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t really tell her much about our situation. Just that we were looking into blood bonds, their formation and possible breaking of them. I figure we can give more information in private, if we’re comfortable.”
Kyuhyun nodded slowly, stuffing another piece of meat into his mouth. Even if Zhou Mi hadn’t sampled the spices he saw Kyuhyun slathering on, his mouth still smarted in sympathy.
“So basically, we shouldn’t get any hopes up. And just see what she has to say,” Kyuhyun said after a minute.
The surface of the tea in his cup wasn’t telling him anything, nor was the sizzle of meat or wafting clouds of greasy smoke. What hopes were there to have, again?
“That’s right,” he said. And believed that it had to turn out for the best. It had to.
***
It was almost shocking to realize how fast time went. Kyuhyun was like just about every other worker, waking up on Monday and wishing the next day was Friday. Maybe it was wishing part of his life away, but it at least got him to the parts of his life that he enjoyed more.
But looking at the calendar, seeing how long it had been since Zhou Mi had bitten him, since they had registered, seemed unreal. Almost six weeks of a new routine. Five days of work, two days of leisure. Studying vampire facts. Existing beside Zhou Mi, and being his friend of a sort. Maybe it was wrong that he held himself back a little, but he figured it was also normal. He put on his blinders, and pretended everything was normal, that they were just roommates. And digging his nails into his leg while Zhou Mi fed kept most of the issues away. Most.
It was daylight when their meeting with the researcher was supposed to happen. Zhou Mi had met him at the subway stop by his work, in his special coverings, so that they could go together. Zhou Mi was even quieter than usual, which was odd, and he wondered at that. Maybe the researcher could tell them something, and maybe she couldn’t. He was trying not to let his hopes get too high, hoping at the very least that she could send them toward something that might be useful.
It wasn’t like Zhou Mi, in his getup, needed any introduction. She managed to shake both their hands, which he appreciated, even if she did seem rather overly interested in making sure Zhou Mi was seated comfortably in the office. It was an inoffensive place, mostly dominated by a large, messy desk and bookshelves. And some kind of potted plant that was shedding leaves at what looked like an unhealthy rate. The researcher herself was older than them, though well dressed. Or, well. She seemed older than either of them looked since Zhou Mi’s face was a little deceptive to his actual age.
“It’s very rare a blood bonded pair find their way to me. Usually I have to go search people out. Your emails seem to indicate that you’re looking for a way to end a blood bond? Was it an accidental bonding, or are you looking to divorce?”
“It was not accidental,” Zhou Mi said, his fingers close to Kyuhyun’s arm on the armrest. “It was forced.”
“Oh. There have been maybe ten, twelve cases in the last decade. Usually as a result of kidnappings, sometimes of virtual strangers, or friends caught together at the wrong time.”
Her voice was dreamy, as though she was reciting information from deep place. Not that she was romanticizing it. He supposed to someone it was fascinating. Maybe it would have been to him, too, if it wasn’t real life.
“That is the danger,” she continued. “The idea of vampire blood bonds is really fascinating. Really fascinating.”
“If you think it’s so cool, why don’t you have one yourself?” Kyuhyun asked. And he glanced at Zhou Mi to make sure he hadn’t taken it as Kyuhyun trying to give him away.
“It’s not that simple. Even finding an unbonded vampire doesn’t guarantee a match. And no reasonable person would ever use those kind of tactics- Forced bonds! Terrible. Criminal even.”
“Criminal. Yes. The police didn’t seem too interested. Now that we’re stuck, we want to know how to get out.”
“Even most of the lore doesn’t allow for breaking a bond. It’s a chemical, and physical process that actually changes the DNA of a vampire. Of course, in theory since the DNA was changed once, could it be again? There were experiments done, having a bonded vampire bite another human. But what was done was done. Nothing ever came from it.”
“So you’re saying there’s nothing we can do?” Kyuhyun asked, his stomach twisting.
She shook her head. “Not exactly. I think the most interesting thing is the vampires that can bite without bonding.”
Zhou Mi leaned forward almost as fast as he did. “What do you mean? How is that possible?”
“There has been speculation, oh, maybe for the past 20 years. Mostly by conspiracy theorists and whatnot, but it’s become more widely accepted that it’s possible that there is a subset of vampires. A “master race” even. A progenitor, of sorts. Whether it was an evolutionary thing, or perhaps interbreeding with humans cause a dilution of the antibodies - which causes the blood bonds - we aren’t sure. After all, no one has such a specimen to study.”
“Those “specimens” are as “human” as any other vampire,” Kyuhyun prodded, uncomfortable with the language.
“Of course. There’s no reason to think otherwise. The number of deaths from bites or exsanguinations are still fairly low, but there has been an uptick in some rural areas. If this vampire subset were once endangered, and coming back from that, it could explain it.”
“Or maybe they just weren’t reported accurately before?”
“That might account for some, but when the number of exsanguinations doubles year after year, I don’t think that can be explained.”
“We haven’t heard anything about that,” Zhou Mi said, frowning. “I searched all the news sites?”
“No, only researchers have been privy to that information. And of course I am telling you both under the strictest confidence. It wasn’t reported to keep panic to a minimum. Most vampires in urban environments are well-known, and easily identifiable. No one wanted to create witch hunts. Too easy for someone to target a bondmate and hasten the death process, even if it’s fully proven and documented that there is no continued danger to the public. Not that there was any danger to begin with.”
“But not to give warning?”
It was bad enough that he still had nightmares about being kidnapped off the street, but to think of being snatched by a vampire and bled to death? And for the families to have no answer, just that there was some threat out there waiting to hurt or kill some other innocent victim. It made his skin crawl, and almost made it look like what he and Zhou Mi engaged in, with Zhou Mi’s feeding, like the play of the most gentle puppies on earth. The researcher, however, was adamant that things weren’t being left to chance.
“Areas where deaths are occurring are warned as fully as possible. It’s not much different than a person with a gun. Don’t go outside at night alone, and things like that. The police aren’t intentionally trying to put people in danger. But whoever they are, they move quickly. But if we can find their secret? That’s your greatest chance. But it’s taken this long to even understand as much as we do. It could be years.”
“But certainly people are trying, for the others who had forced bonds?” Zhou Mi broke in. And Kyuhyun winced to think of another twenty, thirty people somewhere out there in the world who had started out just like them.
“I’ve spoken to many of those bondmates,” the researcher told them. “Some still would like to find a way, but most have found a very comfortable life together.”
“And that’s what you suggest for us?” Kyuhyun demanded. “Just sit back and pretend we didn’t have a crime perpetrated on us, and just be happy?”
It wasn’t as though he was trying to be rude. The mixed messages were swirling in his head. But the stare that was fixed on him could have frozen a boiling pot of water, and he was reminded of nothing so much as his own mother giving him a reprimanding stare.
“You could also be consumed by rage and dissatisfaction, take up vendettas, and die an early death. How you live your life is certainly not up to me. I don’t have any recommendations. You are free to choose how to live. Does your preference run to men…?’
Kyuhyun’s brain stumbled. “Yes, but- What does that have to do with anything?”
“Just taking notes for my file. Don’t worry, it’s entirely confidential. I have Zhou Mi’s information from the government, so I’m just curious as to how you fit in.”
“I’m not here to be part of your research,” Kyuhyun said, standing slowly. “I just want to figure out how to get on with my life.”
“It has been hard to adjust. For both of us,” Zhou Mi said, standing as well, and his tone only slightly apologetic for Kyuhyun’s words.
Her glance was sharply amused. “I understand. If you have more questions or need referrals, let me know. I’m curious to know how you are getting along.”
He let Zhou Mi take care of answering that, a lot more polite and smooth that Kyuhyun’s answer would’ve been. Sure, she was trying to help, but she was too much a researcher to let things go. Like the fact that they were real people, living real lives. And not just “subjects.” But if there were vampires out there who could bite at will? Perhaps there was something that none of the researchers knew, some secret no one had discovered. And he knew, as Zhou Mi met his eyes, that they were thinking the same thing. But he’d also heard her time estimate. Possibly years before anything was discovered. He crossed his arms over his chest in the sway of the subway, and watched the looks people sent at Zhou Mi. His hand flew to Zhou Mi’s shoulder as they rounded a curve, steadying himself.
But that wasn’t why it stayed there.
***