[Fic] Wrong Way
Title: Wrong Way
Author: Coley Merrin
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Kyuhyun and Zhou Mi
Genre: Crack
Summary: Kyuhyun's adventures in Japan take him in a different direction than planned.
Finally one of the request fics. <3 Based loosely on his entries about his trip, and then of course... totally taken in a different direction.
***
***
Getting lost on vacation wasn’t really a new thing to Kyuhyun. Of course, while on vacation alone in Japan, that was a little bit more stressful. Still, he had maps, and a guidebook, and a dictionary. Also, legs of steel. Basically, he was prepared for all mishaps. Still, he had walked the whole length of the island and back by his estimation.
Mostly because asking for directions? Not so much. It certainly seemed like he was going in the right direction. His guidebook indicated that. He set out with determination, and walked.
And walked.
Japan was a country full of vending machines, that much was true. It was actually a vending machine that first let him know he’d wandered into the wrong section of town. As he haltingly walked past it, thinking he was imagining it. Until someone tried to get him to go into a bar for a drink.
He’d read about this place. Was it even on the way to city hall?
When the man pointed the direction he should be going in…the way he had just come from, he’d felt like the world’s largest dunce. One simple question and twenty miles of walking later… And one wandering through the red light district. Well. If there was any one place fangirls wouldn’t be looking for him, this would probably be it.
He fished out his cell phone, dialing the extra code and laughing a bit hysterically to himself as he hurried back the whole length of the street with its hotels and bars and bright signs.
“Kui Xian! It’s late, are you okay?”
“I’m in the red light district,” he said, laughing into Zhou Mi’s ear. “This trip is really turning out interesting.”
Zhou Mi was silent for a moment. “You’re…where?!"
“Red light district. You know, girls and hotels, and…?”
Another pause. “Why?”
“I got lost.” That was probably not too embarrassing to admit to a man who squealed at bugs. “There’s this painting where this girl is almost baring one of her breasts… I think I turned the wrong way again.”
“You think?” Zhou Mi said faintly. “Her… Would they have that out to see?”
“You know the word for breasts?” He said it in Mandarin for good measure, leaving Zhou Mi to wonder why he knew it in that language. Why either of them knew it in the other’s language for that matter. “Who taught that to you in Korean? Heechul?”
Zhou Mi cleared his throat. “Do you need me to look up directions so you can get out of there? Do you know what street you’re on?”
“If I could read more. Maybe.”
“I just looked it up, and the Internet says that place isn’t always safe, Kui Xian. There are gangs, and…”
“It’s fine, seriously.” He left off the part where he was backtracking and knew exactly where he was again. “There are business people. Seriously.”
“But there could be a fight, or…”
“You watch too many movies. You can breathe easy again. I’m back in the regular sort of town. As regular as this part of town is anyway.”
Zhou Mi laughed. “I’m glad. Thank you for calling me. At least I’d have known where to send help.”
He tried to imagine Zhou Mi shouting Mandarin at confused emergency personnel on his behalf.
“I’m glad it didn’t come to that.”
“Me, too, Kui Xian. Are you having fun when you’re in the right places?”
“Yep, I am.” He decided not to mention how far exactly he had gotten lost. Or that issue with the food price. Or. Well, there was time for that later. “Oh, but there was this…”
“This is costing you money! Email me, okay? I want to see all your pictures.”
“Okay. Bye.”
He felt a little disappointed when he hung up, but he knew that phone call would’ve been a little expensive. Still, it was good to save his breath since he had a whole long way left to hike.
***
“Hey, I brought you back a souvenir. I really appreciated all your help.”
Zhou Mi looked a little puzzled, probably wondering what help he had been to Kyuhyun when he hadn’t even been able to give him directions. Perhaps he was thinking he’d been moral support. Which he had been, just in a way that kept Kyuhyun from collapsing on himself in embarrassment and laughter.
“What is it?” Zhou Mi asked, staring down at the flat, cutely wrapped package that Kyuhyun was offering. He leaned in close, so that only Zhou Mi could hear and to make sure he had his full attention.
“You know,” he said conspiratorially, “in that red light district I stumbled into? There were vending machines there that sold…used panties.”
It was faster than the speed of sound, that Zhou Mi’s hand flew off of Kyuhyun’s offered gift. He kept holding that hand out to the side like it was contaminated, and staring at Kyuhyun with wide eyes gilded with horror. He just grinned and waggled the package a little.
He figured Zhou Mi would be glad when he found out it was just a bunch of post cards.
***
Author: Coley Merrin
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Kyuhyun and Zhou Mi
Genre: Crack
Summary: Kyuhyun's adventures in Japan take him in a different direction than planned.
Finally one of the request fics. <3 Based loosely on his entries about his trip, and then of course... totally taken in a different direction.
***
***
Getting lost on vacation wasn’t really a new thing to Kyuhyun. Of course, while on vacation alone in Japan, that was a little bit more stressful. Still, he had maps, and a guidebook, and a dictionary. Also, legs of steel. Basically, he was prepared for all mishaps. Still, he had walked the whole length of the island and back by his estimation.
Mostly because asking for directions? Not so much. It certainly seemed like he was going in the right direction. His guidebook indicated that. He set out with determination, and walked.
And walked.
Japan was a country full of vending machines, that much was true. It was actually a vending machine that first let him know he’d wandered into the wrong section of town. As he haltingly walked past it, thinking he was imagining it. Until someone tried to get him to go into a bar for a drink.
He’d read about this place. Was it even on the way to city hall?
When the man pointed the direction he should be going in…the way he had just come from, he’d felt like the world’s largest dunce. One simple question and twenty miles of walking later… And one wandering through the red light district. Well. If there was any one place fangirls wouldn’t be looking for him, this would probably be it.
He fished out his cell phone, dialing the extra code and laughing a bit hysterically to himself as he hurried back the whole length of the street with its hotels and bars and bright signs.
“Kui Xian! It’s late, are you okay?”
“I’m in the red light district,” he said, laughing into Zhou Mi’s ear. “This trip is really turning out interesting.”
Zhou Mi was silent for a moment. “You’re…where?!"
“Red light district. You know, girls and hotels, and…?”
Another pause. “Why?”
“I got lost.” That was probably not too embarrassing to admit to a man who squealed at bugs. “There’s this painting where this girl is almost baring one of her breasts… I think I turned the wrong way again.”
“You think?” Zhou Mi said faintly. “Her… Would they have that out to see?”
“You know the word for breasts?” He said it in Mandarin for good measure, leaving Zhou Mi to wonder why he knew it in that language. Why either of them knew it in the other’s language for that matter. “Who taught that to you in Korean? Heechul?”
Zhou Mi cleared his throat. “Do you need me to look up directions so you can get out of there? Do you know what street you’re on?”
“If I could read more. Maybe.”
“I just looked it up, and the Internet says that place isn’t always safe, Kui Xian. There are gangs, and…”
“It’s fine, seriously.” He left off the part where he was backtracking and knew exactly where he was again. “There are business people. Seriously.”
“But there could be a fight, or…”
“You watch too many movies. You can breathe easy again. I’m back in the regular sort of town. As regular as this part of town is anyway.”
Zhou Mi laughed. “I’m glad. Thank you for calling me. At least I’d have known where to send help.”
He tried to imagine Zhou Mi shouting Mandarin at confused emergency personnel on his behalf.
“I’m glad it didn’t come to that.”
“Me, too, Kui Xian. Are you having fun when you’re in the right places?”
“Yep, I am.” He decided not to mention how far exactly he had gotten lost. Or that issue with the food price. Or. Well, there was time for that later. “Oh, but there was this…”
“This is costing you money! Email me, okay? I want to see all your pictures.”
“Okay. Bye.”
He felt a little disappointed when he hung up, but he knew that phone call would’ve been a little expensive. Still, it was good to save his breath since he had a whole long way left to hike.
***
“Hey, I brought you back a souvenir. I really appreciated all your help.”
Zhou Mi looked a little puzzled, probably wondering what help he had been to Kyuhyun when he hadn’t even been able to give him directions. Perhaps he was thinking he’d been moral support. Which he had been, just in a way that kept Kyuhyun from collapsing on himself in embarrassment and laughter.
“What is it?” Zhou Mi asked, staring down at the flat, cutely wrapped package that Kyuhyun was offering. He leaned in close, so that only Zhou Mi could hear and to make sure he had his full attention.
“You know,” he said conspiratorially, “in that red light district I stumbled into? There were vending machines there that sold…used panties.”
It was faster than the speed of sound, that Zhou Mi’s hand flew off of Kyuhyun’s offered gift. He kept holding that hand out to the side like it was contaminated, and staring at Kyuhyun with wide eyes gilded with horror. He just grinned and waggled the package a little.
He figured Zhou Mi would be glad when he found out it was just a bunch of post cards.
***