[Fic] Forever - 3/3
Title: Forever
Author: Coley Merrin
Rating: R
Pairings: Zhou Mi/Kyuhyun
Genre: AU, Romance, Angst
This is a follow up to my fic For Always
Summary: Celebrating the anniversary of their first date, a person from Zhou Mi's past threatens to drag them apart...
***
Chapter One ** Chapter Two ** Chapter Three
***
They’d learned early on in their relationship that taking their problems to bed was the best way to ensure that there would only be one of them in it. Though Kyuhyun could admit that he fought meaner, when Zhou Mi found his position on something, he sat so tight Kyuhyun swore he super glued his butt to it. All it took was a lift of his brow and a cock of his head and Kyuhyun knew he’d have to get ready to carry Zhou Mi off his stance, chair and all.
And it hadn’t taken too many times for either of them, after having a crisis of conscience at 3 AM and having to drag a half asleep and grumbly man from the couch back to bed, before the point sank home.
***
***
Even with the shades drawn, it was still bright enough in the room for pain. Kyuhyun sat silently beside Zhou Mi, waiting for him to wake. There was a big glass of orange juice, and two pain pills waiting for him as soon as he woke. He had spent the greater part of 24 hours in complete denial, jealous and fearful of a relationship that was in the past. What he hadn’t realized was nothing he was worried about could hurt them. What was in the past was over. Zhou Mi would have had every opportunity to look up an old flame, but he hadn’t. They were in love. He loved Zhou Mi a heck of a lot more than he mistrusted Zhou Mi’s ex. Even with that idiot throwing himself at Zhou Mi, Zhou Mi still wanted Kyuhyun. And though he wanted very much to rest his head in his arms, he could not.
Zhou Mi began to stir. Kyuhyun recognized that groan as one of pretty intense pain, and slapped his hand over Zhou Mi’s eyes.
“Hey, it’s okay. Just keep your eyes closed and sit up a little, okay? I have some juice and some pain meds here.”
Zhou Mi whimpered out his acquiescence and sat up, barely, with his eyes squinched closed. Kyuhyun popped the pills into Zhou Mi’s mouth, lightly supporting the back of his head as he tipped the glass lightly against Zhou Mi’s lips. Zhou Mi tried to stop drinking as soon as the pills were down, but Kyuhyun urged him on, speaking softly.
“Just drink as much as you can, okay? It’ll help you feel better, too.”
He got about three quarters of it into him before Zhou Mi collapsed back.
“My head,” Zhou Mi muttered.
“I know...”
Kyuhyun fished the wash cloth from the cool water he had filled the ice bucket with, wringing it, and laying it on Zhou Mi’s forehead and eyes. He smiled at the sigh of relief that brought.
“Sleep a little longer, okay?” he said, stroking Zhou Mi’s arm.
Zhou Mi scooted a decent six inches to his left, swallowing several times as he cocked his arm out in half invitation. “Please?” Zhou Mi whispered.
His heart surely must be bleeding, Kyuhyun thought, stripping his shirt and sweater quickly before Zhou Mi could think he had been refused. They both made low sounds as Kyuhyun’s weight dipped the bed, Zhou Mi in agony, Kyuhyun in apology.
He gently kissed Zhou Mi’s lips.
“Sorry. Eugh. You taste like week old socks. Sleep, okay?”
He kissed Zhou Mi’s shoulder, and laid his head there, one of Zhou Mi’s arms around his back, and the opposite hand gingerly against his cheek.
“Kui Xian...”
He took Zhou Mi’s hand, kissing his knuckles before their fingers joined on Zhou Mi’s chest.
“Sleep. You’ll feel better, I promise.”
He hoped they both felt better.
***
He woke, groggy, and Zhou Mi was restless beneath him.
“How’s your head?” he croaked, blinking and trying to clear his eyes after a bit too much sleep.
Something wet brushed by the top of his head and he realized Zhou Mi had tossed aside the washcloth.
“Better. Bladder’s about to explode.”
Kyuhyun winced, extracting himself gently as he knew just what that felt like. He ranged himself at the bottom edge of the bed, prepared to be contrite. They could go home, or hang upside down till their heads exploded, he really didn’t care. So stupid, all of it.
“Where’d you get the orange juice?” Zhou Mi called out at him.
“I went downstairs and got it for you,” he said
Zhou Mi exited the bathroom with his toothbrush in his mouth, getting rid of the ugly aftertaste.
“Fanks,” he said almost incomprehensibly.
“You’re welcome,” Kyuhyun said, amused, and used to interpreting Zhou Mi-speech.
Zhou Mi reached for Kyuhyun’s shoulder, and froze.
“Whayat?” Zhou Mi yelped, and slapped a hand to his mouth to keep his toothpaste where it was supposed to be. He disappeared into the bathroom for a few moments.
By the time he’d come back, Kyuhyun had finished examining the wound on his shoulder.
“What,” Zhou Mi enunciated carefully, “is that.”
“That is you, drunk, and trying to prove your masculinity,” Kyuhyun informed him.
It looked worse than it was, a bruise where Zhou Mi’s teeth had been, and the small scabbing area where a tooth had broken through. Still, Zhou Mi was worried.
“It looks like I tried to take your shoulder off. Does it hurt?”
“Not a lot. You could kiss it and make it better.”
“I think kissing it made it hurt to begin with.”
Still, Zhou Mi’s mouth had nearly met his shoulder when the hotel room’s phone rang. Kyuhyun sighed as Zhou Mi ran for it.
“Hello? Oh. Oh you did! That’s great. Yeah, I’ll be down in just a few minutes. Yes, thank you.”
Zhou Mi was grinning as he turned back around, and instead of returning to the clearly waiting Kyuhyun, who was still shirtless, he began to pull clothes on haphazardly.
“Where are you going?” Kyuhyun asked, his fingers twisted together.
“I have a quick errand to run.” Zhou Mi was muffled for half a second as he pulled his shirt down. “I’ll be back in no time.”
An errand downstairs, from someone in the hotel? Kyuhyun’s stomach sank.
“I’ll go with you...”
“No!” Zhou Mi exclaimed, pushing Kyuhyun back on the bed. “Just wait here, okay? I’ll be back.”
He bent to give Kyuhyun a swift, perfunctory kiss, and was out the door.
Someone, somewhere, was laughing at his complete ineptitude. He couldn’t even apologize right.
***
An inability to sit had him moving out of the room. He did not think Zhou Mi was capable of cheating, not with that...that... But knowing he was probably in the same building, knowing what he had been to Zhou Mi once, meant that the images in his head were boiling.
Even after his bolstering call to Hankyung, he wasn’t able to sit. He would go to the restaurant, he reasoned. Get something to eat and bring it back up, and he and Zhou Mi could have a picnic. Maybe eat some of it off each other’s body. It was a good plan.
That Zhou Mi had asked him to stay slipped his mind entirely.
He hummed as he waited for the food to be ready, sitting at one of the tables and imagining Zhou Mi’s reaction. He was being so tense, so not like Zhou Mi about all of this. If he had to admit to himself, he was being little better. Bile burned at the thought of that man touching Zhou Mi. Hugging him...
“Kyuhyun!”
Oh. Why. Why him? He’d been better in life than to deserve this.
Jinsung slid in opposite, smiling. “Funny running into you here. I saw Zhou Mi earlier... Looked like all that fresh air agreed with him.”
Kyuhyun eyed the kitchen. Surely it would be ready soon.
“Look,” he said, looking Jinsung straight in the eye. “I don’t know what you want, but Zhou Mi and I are...”
“Oh, I don’t want anything!” the man insisted. “I just wish I hadn’t let him get away. He was just so good... But you know that. There wasn’t much I couldn’t do to get him into bed... Or wherever else...”
A hand slid up Kyuhyun’s arm. “I bet he thinks you’re great in bed, too.”
Kyuhyun slid back as he felt a foot slide up his calf. “I think my food is ready. I have to go.”
“Hey, look. It’s Zhou Mi!”
His head whipped around, spotting Zhou Mi beside the door. Jinsung was out of his chair, off toward Zhou Mi with a spring in his step. And it was then that the food emerged from the kitchen.
The man had stopped beside Zhou Mi as Kyuhyun accepted his package. And the odd thing was, from his newly enlightened position, he could see just how closed off Zhou Mi was to the other man. It wasn’t even something Zhou Mi was aware of, he thought. Of course, the crossed arms and the tight, vaguely murderous face were clues.
Breathe, Kyuhyun, he told himself. He hadn’t even heard Zhou Mi’s reason for leaving, and he hadn’t as yet had an opportunity to apologize. Making Zhou Mi more pissed at him wasn’t going to help the situation in the least.
“You shouldn’t have let him touch you,” Zhou Mi barked out as the door of their room closed behind them.
And there was enough jealousy in that one sentence to light all of Kyuhyun on fire.
“Believe me, I wasn’t encouraging it.”
“You won’t let me touch you, you won’t touch me. But he was holding your hand... He sure did like to detail how you let him touch your arm, or run his toes up your leg.”
“Ugh, stop! He grabbed me and I moved away! I didn’t want that!”
“Playing footsie was something we did, Kui Xian... You should know what that means.”
Kyuhyun stared at him blankly. What it meant? That the man was a moron?
“What do you mean?” he asked, all caution in his tone.
“I need to breathe,” Zhou Mi said, standing. “I’m not angry with you, I just... I have to go clear my head.”
“Why, off to have another intimate chat?” Kyuhyun asked stonily.
“He wants into your pants!” Zhou Mi almost shouted, making Kyuhyun’s heart leap in shock. “Do you know that? All he does is talk about you. How sexy you are, how amazing you look, what a great voice you have... If he could send me to Africa right now so he could have you to himself, he would.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Kyuhyun asked, pushing to his feet. “All he does is talk about how amazing you were in bed, and what amazing sounds you made and what he’d do to live it all over again.”
“He’s playing you, Kui Xian,” Zhou Mi said, sounding tired. “He wants to see if you’ll get so incensed about me having been with him, that you’ll start thinking you deserve a taste, too.”
“He doesn’t want you?”
“No!”
“Then what the hell is wrong with him? Why didn’t you tell me this to start with?”
“That my ex is trying to seduce you? Of course. I’ll just get you a room while I’m at it.”
An incredulous laugh bubbled. “You think I’d want him?”
“I’m all you’ve known,” Zhou Mi said softly. “And if...”
“You think I don’t know how good we have it? The grass is greener out there, Zhou Mi. I’ve seen it. It’s called being alone.” He sighed as his sarcasm only made Zhou Mi frown. He stepped closer, aching to touch and not daring to. This, his apology, he could finally give it. “But seriously... You pick really crappy times to be insecure, but it’s you I want to be with. We’ve had a year together, and it’s only made me more sure that I want a year two. I don’t care what happened back then.” He paused, fought for composure a bit as Zhou Mi’s arms slid around him. “You get miffed at me when I get too lazy to wash the dishes. What makes you think I’d ever be ambitious enough to want to start over with someone else?”
“It’s so easy for me to see why other guys, girls...whatever, would want you. I got so lucky. You’re just... You’re everything. And when I wonder how I managed...”
“You’re Anytime Zhou Mi, aren’t you?” Kyuhyun interrupted, before Zhou Mi could start expounding on his unworthiness. “You sent me a hundred letters, and you popped up in front of my face, and you smiled at me, damn it. How was I supposed to pretend I was perfectly fine on my own if you smiled at me?” The air trembled out of him. “I love you. I would never be more complete without you. You’re all I ever want to know.”
He squeezed tighter as Zhou Mi began to sob softly against him, the tremble spreading through them as though they were one person instead of two. He pressed his face against Zhou Mi’s neck, where he had first found a place that sheltered him, where he belonged.
It wasn’t as though the specter of his parents’ failed marriage had left him. There was still the cynical bead inside of him that said that this relationship could end next month, much less in Zhou Mi’s projected fifty years. Everyone stupid in love imagined things would go on that way forever.
But Zhou Mi whispered “I love you” into his hair. And he felt that it was as true today as it had been the morning in Zhou Mi’s apartment when Zhou Mi had first told him. The love had never gone away, but it had changed with them.
The dance they had begun, they had stumbled, tripped over each other’s feet. But the rhythm of it was right there, waiting for them to continue it.
He pressed his lips to Zhou Mi’s neck, felt it returned. His lips curved.
“Zhou Mi, I love you,” he said. “And I don’t tell you enough how much...how much I do. I can’t function without you. I miss you, when I can’t talk to you. I can’t sleep without you next to me. I need you.”
Zhou Mi pulled back, his hands cupping Kyuhyun’s face and his voice still sort of miserably shaken.
“I don’t want anyone but you, Kui Xian. And from where I’m standing today, I never will.”
“Me too,” he said. “I’m sorry he made you think that. I’m sorry if I did anything to make you think that. I was too focused on stupid things, I didn’t even see...”
“It’s okay, Kui Xian. I’m sorry, too. I was just so angry... That he talked to you at all, made you think bad things about me. I wanted to get you away. We should have talked. I’m so stupid.”
“I still love you,” Kyuhyun said. And got the smile he had been hoping for.
“I have something for you,” Zhou Mi said, letting him go to scramble over to his suitcase. “I was going to give it to you tonight, but I think... I want to now.”
He followed after Zhou Mi, sitting on the edge of the bed and poking the other’s calf with his toes as he watched. Yes, that was just for them.
“You put my gift in your underwear?” he asked.
“Where else could I put it, if I didn’t want you to find it?”
Well, he supposed that was true. He could remember a few instances of raiding Zhou Mi’s suitcase for socks or a t-shirt or something of the like. Someone, of the two of them, was rather particular about the wear and care of his underthings, and Kyuhyun happened to be looking at him. So Kyuhyun touching the precious clothing unless it was to carry it to Zhou Mi was almost unthinkable.
“I think I was promised you in a big bed, lots of sex and food over the weekend,” he said as Zhou Mi rummaged. “So far I think, all I’ve done is eat a lot of food. I’m going to go home five pounds heavier.”
“I’ll love every one of them,” Zhou Mi promised.
“Tell me that when I’m 50 and horribly overweight. You’ll still be a stick and I’ll be forced to hate you forever.”
Zhou Mi sighed. “You have no idea how much I want that.”
“Me overweight? Or me hating you?”
“No... Kui Xian.”
He smiled at the indulgent, chastising tone. “So I guess we have a lot to make up on.”
Zhou Mi turned, pressing his face against Kyuhyun’s thigh as though he were gathering himself.
“This is for us,” Zhou Mi said, and lifted a plain rectangular box onto Kyuhyun’s leg.
Kyuhyun’s hands were a bit unsteady as he lifted the lid, and what he saw there sent cold ghosting over his skin followed by a heated flush.
“Two rings for me?” he asked softly, and watched the corners of Zhou Mi’s mouth quirk upwards.
“What’s mine is yours, Kui Xian.”
Their eyes met, Zhou Mi asking for acceptance before he reached into the box where the silver rings were nestled. Zhou Mi slid the ring onto the fourth finger of Kyuhyun’s left hand.
“I want everyone to know,” Zhou Mi said, his voice breaking slightly on the last word, “That we belong to each other.”
With the box firmly in hand, he slid off of the bed and half into Zhou Mi’s lap.
“To each other,” Kyuhyun confirmed. He lifted Zhou Mi’s hand, the one he had once rejected and then clung to, sliding the shining silver band down the long finger until it rested, matching his own. “One year down, forty nine to go, huh?”
Zhou Mi gasped, grasping Kyuhyun’s face and lifting them both eagerly into a kiss. Easy, Kyuhyun’s hands seemed to say, I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.
They stood as one, backing toward the bed still joined. It was not make-up sex, per se. But it was sealing a promise.
They undressed slowly, as though relishing the knowledge they had in the other’s body. They knew where each liked to be touched, where they didn’t. How to arouse with a kiss, a word. How to comfort. How to love.
One thing he hadn’t expected was waterworks as Zhou Mi slid inside him. A big fat tear plopped onto his face and he stared up in shock.
Two seconds later they were clinging to each other in various levels of amusement and embarrassment.
“I thought only girls cried during sex,” he murmured, stroking Zhou Mi’s hair.
“I worried... I worried that we would never do this again.”
“Ah,” he said sagely, trying to get a laugh out of Zhou Mi. “I’m that good in bed, huh?”
He got a little snuffling chuckle. “You are great in bed. The best. I love you, though, that’s what I mean...”
“I know. I love you, too.”
Zhou Mi buried his face closer against Kyuhyun’s neck.
“I’m home. I’m home with you, Kui Xian.”
Kyuhyun had to close his eyes as they brimmed full at the tattered, earnest voice, feeling tears track down his cheekbones.
“Then welcome home for both us,” he said, rubbing his head against Zhou Mi’s.
Zhou Mi sobbed, and Kyuhyun was partway into a laugh when Zhou Mi’s hips took a reflexive thrust. The laugh choked up inside of him.
“Ugh,” he said, clearing his throat. “You may be the only man on the planet who can be weepy and horny at the same time. Lucky me.”
“I’m lucky too,” Zhou Mi echoed, though a little more damply.
It was not the most rousing bout of sex that they had ever had, containing a few pauses for long kisses and whispered words. But, he thought as Zhou Mi’s breath puffed into his face and he adjusted the blanket to them, it had been among the most meaningful. He rested a hand lightly on the sleeping Zhou Mi’s cheek.
“Lucky me,” he whispered.
***
Zhou Mi was cuddly after he woke, not letting Kyuhyun take an inch, not that he would have asked for it. He seemed determined to clear everything, all his fears, in one fell swoop while he had Kyuhyun’s undivided attention. That was what he was used to. Not the fumbly silences, the hasty exits. But this focused attention, and earnest emotion.
Zhou Mi sighed heavily. “Having those rings in my suitcase and not having everything go perfectly... I’d forgotten the cologne, and you were upset with me because of what you’d heard, and I could have just died.”
“I came here to be with you,” Kyuhyun said, stroking Zhou Mi’s cheeks. “Celebrating something, and making plans. A year of you and me. Let’s keep our reservations for dinner, okay? Let’s celebrate the way we should have started.”
“I’m sorry... I’m just so sorry...”
“It’s not your fault,” Kyuhyun interrupted gently. “Except maybe getting involved with a moron. When he started talking, I should have gotten up and walked away. But it was like that cliche, only I was listening to the car crash. You’re one of the few people in my life that I trust. So my own insecurities were trying to project something onto you that wasn’t there. What happened in the past doesn’t change what we have together.”
“Wow,” Zhou Mi said, looking a little startled. “You really thought a lot on this.”
“I had a little help from my relationship counselor.”
Zhou Mi laughed. “How is Hankyung?”
“Mad as hornets. He nearly brained me through the telephone.”
“I’m glad he didn’t.”
Kyuhyun stared down at the beloved face, the gently smiling lips, the hooded eyes.
“I love you,” he said in Mandarin. “Always.”
“I love you, Kui Xian. Always,” Zhou Mi said, smiling. “My only love.”
They cradled each other, faces close. It was something to be savored, the feel of Zhou Mi’s lips against his. How many times had they kissed like this? As many times as was possible, no doubt about that. Knowing he could walk up to Zhou Mi, any time of day or night, and be welcomed like this...
“Sing to me?”
Zhou Mi giggled a little, dipping his face for a moment against Kyuhyun’s neck, but sobered, beginning to sing very softly as they held each other. One of the songs Zhou Mi had sang a night long ago to comfort Kyuhyun in an unfamiliar place. It spoke of enduring love, and Zhou Mi had taught its meaning and its words to Kyuhyun as well. Kyuhyun raised his voice to join him in it, and around them, the world began to slowly slide back into place.
***
They dressed separately for dinner, and for good reason. When Zhou Mi stepped out, his suit crisp and dark, looking so put together... And that ring on his finger. It was all Kyuhyun could do not to suggest they forget dinner entirely. Zhou Mi took his hand, keeping him at some distance as they admired each other.
“Kui Xian... You look amazing.”
“So do you. Who knew a professor could clean up like that? You look hot.”
“Come here, Kui Xian.”
It took a moment, inhaling into the hug, for him to realize just what he was smelling. The cologne that Zhou Mi had forgotten.
“What... How?”
“The concierge helped me to find a store that had it,” Zhou Mi whispered into his neck. “That’s why... That’s why I had to run out earlier.”
“Oh. Oh, good.”
“We should go for our reservation...”
“Should we?” Kyuhyun asked a bit dreamily.
“Kui Xian!” Zhou Mi said, laughing.
How was it, after all this time, that a scent could knock him for a loop? Not just that, but that Zhou Mi had worked to find it for him. Had worn it for him. Had always, every time, worn it for him, in fact, from the day of their very first date.
“How long till we leave?”
“The day after tomorrow.”
“I hope you weren’t planning on getting out of bed till then,” Kyuhyun said.
“And you’ll be there too?”
“As long as you’re with me in it.”
“I will be, Kui Xian,” Zhou Mi murmured against his lips. “I love you.”
Kyuhyun looked up, feeling a smile brighten his face. Zhou Mi’s eyes told him all of that in no uncertain terms.
“I love you,” he said, and chuckled. “Happy anniversary.”
They clutched each other for a long moment before he heard Zhou Mi whisper, “Happy forever.”
He knew the body against him as well as he did his own, what he liked to eat, how he liked to sleep. That Zhou Mi liked to touch, to sleep close to him, to sneak into his shower after a cold day. That when those dark eyes went soft like they were right now, there was mushiness to the extreme going on inside of that head. It was because he knew that that he cuddled to Zhou Mi’s side as they rode down the elevator, joining their ringed hands together.
They shared their entrees, after an appetizer of...of course...crab cakes. Zhou Mi had buried his face in Kyuhyun’s hand to keep from laughing out loud as Kyuhyun made the order.
The poor waiter had no idea.
“I feel like I should have something better to say,” Kyuhyun said a bit awkwardly after they had eaten. “Like I should have a speech about what you are to me, what the last year has been...? I love you, and that’s all I know...”
“That’s all the speech I need, Kui Xian,” Zhou Mi said, his hand tightening on Kyuhyun’s. “You’re everything. It’s such a cliche, but it’s true. I love you, and you are everything.”
“Then you think you’ll keep me a while?” Kyuhyun asked, smiling from beneath his lashes.
“You couldn’t get rid of me if you tried. I’m persistent, aren’t I?”
Kyuhyun set down his chocolate-tinged fork. “You are. You shouldn’t ever stop. Should we go to the room?”
Zhou Mi smiled.
***
The scent of the damn cologne was everywhere, his face, his hands, his neck. He couldn’t escape it, just as he couldn’t escape Zhou Mi’s mouth as they careened into the hotel room. He nearly stumbled over his dropped jacket, jerking hard on Zhou Mi’s tie. He hoped to take it off, not strangle him. Luckily, it pulled free, and they worked on buttons in unison.
He forgot the simple motion of taking sleeves off of his own arms, as Zhou Mi’s mouth cruised along his neck. His breath exhaled on a moan, and as he inhaled, savored the scent of Zhou Mi, the warmth of his heated skin...
Their pants dropped almost in unison, and he was through first, shoving aside covers to wait.
He laid back, trying to pose a bit sexily as Zhou Mi finished stripping.
“Hey, baby,” he drawled. “Want some love?”
Zhou Mi leaned down to capture his mouth. “Yes please,” he breathed.
He squeezed Zhou Mi’s hip, running his hands along Zhou Mi’s waist, his ribs, as they sank together, skin to skin. He traced Zhou Mi’s mouth, and smiled as Zhou Mi kissed at the ring as it passed by.
“Please,” he murmured, “Zhou Mi...”
“Kui Xian...”
It wasn’t different than the first time, or the time after that, or after that...
But it was, it was in the way each time was, the way that Zhou Mi touched him, the things they said to each other...
The way they kissed.
“Love you, Kui Xian,” Zhou Mi gasped, breaking the deep kiss.
He licked his lips, swallowing. “Love you, too.”
He moaned into Zhou Mi’s neck as the movement of Zhou Mi’s hips sent shudders through him.
Zhou Mi’s head nudged into his. He wanted it to last, wanted it to go forever, and keep this connection between them, but it couldn’t. His head tossed, hands grasping at Zhou Mi’s back.
“Zhou Mi, I can’t, I can’t...”
His whole body was crying with it.
He shuddered as Zhou Mi did not slow, crying out into Zhou Mi’s neck as his movements began to stutter, their voices ringing together as Zhou Mi nearly panted through his moans. More vocal than he had ever heard.
“Kui Xian, oh. Oh.”
Zhou Mi was calling his name...
“Zhou Mi...”
Kyuhyun fell first, the sound of Zhou Mi overtaking him.
Zhou Mi was not long to follow.
***
“Kyu... Kyu...” Zhou Mi crooned.
“Who’s that?” he croaked, feeling his skin rather wetly come away from the sheet as they moved to rest on their sides.
Zhou Mi was still in some kind of a daze, and he focused on breathing instead, pressing his lips briefly to Zhou Mi’s chin.
Was his heart still beating? He supposed it was. Zhou Mi could probably feel it knocking into him with each hard rap.
“There are no words for what that was,” Zhou Mi gusted out. “We can’t do that very often. I can’t survive it.”
“Did we survive it?” he wondered out loud, and Zhou Mi barked out a laugh. “Who were you calling out for?”
“You don’t know your name?”
“Kyu? Not something that comes out of your mouth often.”
“I’m not half dead often either, Kui Xian.”
“That’s better.” He curved into the body beside him, sinking into a pleasant haze, the scent of Zhou Mi’s cologne and his warm breath just that much more soothing to him.
Zhou Mi’s hand slid against his lower back, cooled now that they were.
“Kui Xian...” Zhou Mi laid his face closer.
“I love you,” he said, tracing a line across Zhou Mi’s brow.
“Forever?” Zhou Mi asked.
“Until this ring evaporates off of my finger.”
Zhou Mi lifted the hand that held it, pressing his lips to the ring, to Kyuhyun’s palm. Then he turned to his mouth, kissing Kyuhyun with a renewed sort of interest that had him tipping back his head.
“Oh, I don’t think so,” he said, laughing, even as Zhou Mi began to kiss a sweet path down his throat. “You’ll have to help yourself if you’re wanting anything else tonight.”
“Help myself, hmm,” Zhou Mi murmured against his ear.
He couldn’t help the moan as Zhou Mi’s hand stroked his hip.
“I don’t think I can...”
Zhou Mi showed him that he could.
***
Kyuhyun felt like laughing as they made it outside into the cool air. Stealing outside had felt like they were in some sort of spy movie, eyeballing the hotel lobby for any sign of Jinsung.
He wasn’t sure between them, who was most likely to tell the man off, or drop kick him to Mars. Probably a cooperative effort. It wouldn’t have mattered if they had seen him, he thought. They were finally where they should have been to begin with... On the same side.
With skis on, the sun shining, Zhou Mi eying the bunny slope with trepidation, it was finally the trip Kyuhyun had been expecting.
“Next stop, the Olympics?” Kyuhyun teased, as Zhou Mi got set.
“I don’t... You go down first, okay?”
“Okay. Kiss?”
Zhou Mi’s lips poked out. “You really do think I’m going to die.”
Still, Zhou Mi leaned in for a kiss, since Kyuhyun wasn’t stooping to answer that.
Zhou Mi made it down with ease, face lit with triumph as their skis tangled, Kyuhyun dragging him close for a celebratory hug. It turned out longer than they had planned for, when Zhou Mi caught his mouth.
“Good job,” Kyuhyun said, licking his lips. “So, a few more times?”
“We have a very warm bed inside...”
“Two more times,” Kyuhyun promised. “Then inside activities.”
“Promise?”
It was kind of hard to pinky promise with their gloves on, but somehow they managed.
And with Zhou Mi on his high from conquering the bunny slope every single time, without wiping out or running over some other body part, they had to take some serious downtime from their subsequent... Indoor athletic pursuits. Though they had managed to christen the shower.
And the settee. Though that was later, after their well deserved nap.
***
They packed with some regret, not really wanting to leave the little nest they’d made. But still, Kyuhyun thought it would be nice to be back in their own place. Zhou Mi picking up after him, grinning at the little puppy and owl in their kitchen window. And of course, he missed the store.
“You get to choose where we go away to next year,” Kyuhyun said, settling into the car seat. “Apparently I have really crappy taste in destinations.”
Zhou Mi made a noncommittal noise at that, turning on the car and clearly not wanting to risk landing on Kyuhyun’s bad side.
“But you know what?” Kyuhyun asked, leaning close and pressing his lips to Zhou Mi’s. “I think I have really great taste in guys.”
“Now who’s being sappy?” Zhou Mi said wickedly, and Kyuhyun laughed.
Things were going to be tender between them for a while, there were still raw places. But as they smoothed over those places with love and care... It would probably be even stronger than before.
***
Ryeowook was the first one to spot the rings. Almost before Kyuhyun had made it halfway to the counter, Ryeowook had ordered them to stop, fishing for the camera under the counter and telling them to lift their hands.
When they stared at the picture in the camera’s view window, Kyuhyun had to laugh. Zhou Mi’s cheek had been squished to his, with their hands and rings of full display.
“We look smug,” he said, nearly guffawing as Zhou Mi did a little victory dance beside him.
The door chimed, and the sound of a child’s voice told him who he would see even before he turned to look.
“We haven’t been back five minutes and you’re already bugging us?” he called, but as he was grinning he didn’t think Hankyung took him seriously.
Siwon let the door close behind the four of them.
“Welcome back!” Hankyung said, smiling past the young child he had in his arms.
Hankyung, with eyes like a hawk, spotted the ring immediately. Not that Kyuhyun had flashed that hand forward or anything.
Hankyung offloaded his son into Siwon’s arms so he could squeeze Kyuhyun half to death. He inspected Kyuhyun’s ring with relish.
“It’s gorgeous! Good job, Zhou Mi!”
“Good thing Zhou Mi chose a different color,” Kyuhyun said wryly, lining up his silver band with Hankyung’s gold one. “At least people won’t think we’re together.”
Everyone in hearing distance broke out into helpless laughter, before assembling themselves for one last picture.
They framed that picture for both houses. Kyuhyun, with Zhou Mi’s arms around him, standing beside Hankyung. Hankyung held the baby, almost a year old himself, and behind them Siwon with one arm around Hankyung’s waist, and the other holding Yunjee’s hand. It was a snapshot of happiness that brought little bubbles of joy to him months after it had been hung.
Siwon and Hankyung with their two, sweet children. He wondered if Zhou Mi saw their side of the picture as slightly empty, with only the two of them in it.
“Do you want that?” Kyuhyun asked one day after work, as they passed by it on their way into the apartment.
He rested a finger below Siwon and Hankyung, so that Zhou Mi would know what he was talking about. That, a family. He knew. Knew how much Zhou Mi loved the children in the picture, how much he enjoyed it when they were let loose with them, shipping Siwon and Hankyung off to time together. If Kyuhyun was truthful, he enjoyed that time as well, Zhou Mi’s presence keeping him mostly calm, even with a screaming baby on their hands.
He turned his head, finding Zhou Mi looking at him. Did Zhou Mi, with his soft eyes, want that?
“Someday,” Zhou Mi answered honestly.
“Someday,” he echoed, smiling.
Of course they had no idea, as they laughed against each other, just when someday would be...
***
***
I was sad to leave "For Always" behind... This was one of the ways that I consoled myself. <3 As ever, thanks to all of you... Who followed that, or this, or both... Or who enjoyed any part of it. <3
As a special bit, here is an extra... The "smutty" scenes from "For Always" edited back into their original, smuttier state. :) Two for KyuMi, and a small less-smutty SiHan prelude: http://coley-merrin.livejournal.com/327233.html
***
Author: Coley Merrin
Rating: R
Pairings: Zhou Mi/Kyuhyun
Genre: AU, Romance, Angst
This is a follow up to my fic For Always
Summary: Celebrating the anniversary of their first date, a person from Zhou Mi's past threatens to drag them apart...
***
Chapter One ** Chapter Two ** Chapter Three
***
They’d learned early on in their relationship that taking their problems to bed was the best way to ensure that there would only be one of them in it. Though Kyuhyun could admit that he fought meaner, when Zhou Mi found his position on something, he sat so tight Kyuhyun swore he super glued his butt to it. All it took was a lift of his brow and a cock of his head and Kyuhyun knew he’d have to get ready to carry Zhou Mi off his stance, chair and all.
And it hadn’t taken too many times for either of them, after having a crisis of conscience at 3 AM and having to drag a half asleep and grumbly man from the couch back to bed, before the point sank home.
***
***
Even with the shades drawn, it was still bright enough in the room for pain. Kyuhyun sat silently beside Zhou Mi, waiting for him to wake. There was a big glass of orange juice, and two pain pills waiting for him as soon as he woke. He had spent the greater part of 24 hours in complete denial, jealous and fearful of a relationship that was in the past. What he hadn’t realized was nothing he was worried about could hurt them. What was in the past was over. Zhou Mi would have had every opportunity to look up an old flame, but he hadn’t. They were in love. He loved Zhou Mi a heck of a lot more than he mistrusted Zhou Mi’s ex. Even with that idiot throwing himself at Zhou Mi, Zhou Mi still wanted Kyuhyun. And though he wanted very much to rest his head in his arms, he could not.
Zhou Mi began to stir. Kyuhyun recognized that groan as one of pretty intense pain, and slapped his hand over Zhou Mi’s eyes.
“Hey, it’s okay. Just keep your eyes closed and sit up a little, okay? I have some juice and some pain meds here.”
Zhou Mi whimpered out his acquiescence and sat up, barely, with his eyes squinched closed. Kyuhyun popped the pills into Zhou Mi’s mouth, lightly supporting the back of his head as he tipped the glass lightly against Zhou Mi’s lips. Zhou Mi tried to stop drinking as soon as the pills were down, but Kyuhyun urged him on, speaking softly.
“Just drink as much as you can, okay? It’ll help you feel better, too.”
He got about three quarters of it into him before Zhou Mi collapsed back.
“My head,” Zhou Mi muttered.
“I know...”
Kyuhyun fished the wash cloth from the cool water he had filled the ice bucket with, wringing it, and laying it on Zhou Mi’s forehead and eyes. He smiled at the sigh of relief that brought.
“Sleep a little longer, okay?” he said, stroking Zhou Mi’s arm.
Zhou Mi scooted a decent six inches to his left, swallowing several times as he cocked his arm out in half invitation. “Please?” Zhou Mi whispered.
His heart surely must be bleeding, Kyuhyun thought, stripping his shirt and sweater quickly before Zhou Mi could think he had been refused. They both made low sounds as Kyuhyun’s weight dipped the bed, Zhou Mi in agony, Kyuhyun in apology.
He gently kissed Zhou Mi’s lips.
“Sorry. Eugh. You taste like week old socks. Sleep, okay?”
He kissed Zhou Mi’s shoulder, and laid his head there, one of Zhou Mi’s arms around his back, and the opposite hand gingerly against his cheek.
“Kui Xian...”
He took Zhou Mi’s hand, kissing his knuckles before their fingers joined on Zhou Mi’s chest.
“Sleep. You’ll feel better, I promise.”
He hoped they both felt better.
***
He woke, groggy, and Zhou Mi was restless beneath him.
“How’s your head?” he croaked, blinking and trying to clear his eyes after a bit too much sleep.
Something wet brushed by the top of his head and he realized Zhou Mi had tossed aside the washcloth.
“Better. Bladder’s about to explode.”
Kyuhyun winced, extracting himself gently as he knew just what that felt like. He ranged himself at the bottom edge of the bed, prepared to be contrite. They could go home, or hang upside down till their heads exploded, he really didn’t care. So stupid, all of it.
“Where’d you get the orange juice?” Zhou Mi called out at him.
“I went downstairs and got it for you,” he said
Zhou Mi exited the bathroom with his toothbrush in his mouth, getting rid of the ugly aftertaste.
“Fanks,” he said almost incomprehensibly.
“You’re welcome,” Kyuhyun said, amused, and used to interpreting Zhou Mi-speech.
Zhou Mi reached for Kyuhyun’s shoulder, and froze.
“Whayat?” Zhou Mi yelped, and slapped a hand to his mouth to keep his toothpaste where it was supposed to be. He disappeared into the bathroom for a few moments.
By the time he’d come back, Kyuhyun had finished examining the wound on his shoulder.
“What,” Zhou Mi enunciated carefully, “is that.”
“That is you, drunk, and trying to prove your masculinity,” Kyuhyun informed him.
It looked worse than it was, a bruise where Zhou Mi’s teeth had been, and the small scabbing area where a tooth had broken through. Still, Zhou Mi was worried.
“It looks like I tried to take your shoulder off. Does it hurt?”
“Not a lot. You could kiss it and make it better.”
“I think kissing it made it hurt to begin with.”
Still, Zhou Mi’s mouth had nearly met his shoulder when the hotel room’s phone rang. Kyuhyun sighed as Zhou Mi ran for it.
“Hello? Oh. Oh you did! That’s great. Yeah, I’ll be down in just a few minutes. Yes, thank you.”
Zhou Mi was grinning as he turned back around, and instead of returning to the clearly waiting Kyuhyun, who was still shirtless, he began to pull clothes on haphazardly.
“Where are you going?” Kyuhyun asked, his fingers twisted together.
“I have a quick errand to run.” Zhou Mi was muffled for half a second as he pulled his shirt down. “I’ll be back in no time.”
An errand downstairs, from someone in the hotel? Kyuhyun’s stomach sank.
“I’ll go with you...”
“No!” Zhou Mi exclaimed, pushing Kyuhyun back on the bed. “Just wait here, okay? I’ll be back.”
He bent to give Kyuhyun a swift, perfunctory kiss, and was out the door.
Someone, somewhere, was laughing at his complete ineptitude. He couldn’t even apologize right.
***
An inability to sit had him moving out of the room. He did not think Zhou Mi was capable of cheating, not with that...that... But knowing he was probably in the same building, knowing what he had been to Zhou Mi once, meant that the images in his head were boiling.
Even after his bolstering call to Hankyung, he wasn’t able to sit. He would go to the restaurant, he reasoned. Get something to eat and bring it back up, and he and Zhou Mi could have a picnic. Maybe eat some of it off each other’s body. It was a good plan.
That Zhou Mi had asked him to stay slipped his mind entirely.
He hummed as he waited for the food to be ready, sitting at one of the tables and imagining Zhou Mi’s reaction. He was being so tense, so not like Zhou Mi about all of this. If he had to admit to himself, he was being little better. Bile burned at the thought of that man touching Zhou Mi. Hugging him...
“Kyuhyun!”
Oh. Why. Why him? He’d been better in life than to deserve this.
Jinsung slid in opposite, smiling. “Funny running into you here. I saw Zhou Mi earlier... Looked like all that fresh air agreed with him.”
Kyuhyun eyed the kitchen. Surely it would be ready soon.
“Look,” he said, looking Jinsung straight in the eye. “I don’t know what you want, but Zhou Mi and I are...”
“Oh, I don’t want anything!” the man insisted. “I just wish I hadn’t let him get away. He was just so good... But you know that. There wasn’t much I couldn’t do to get him into bed... Or wherever else...”
A hand slid up Kyuhyun’s arm. “I bet he thinks you’re great in bed, too.”
Kyuhyun slid back as he felt a foot slide up his calf. “I think my food is ready. I have to go.”
“Hey, look. It’s Zhou Mi!”
His head whipped around, spotting Zhou Mi beside the door. Jinsung was out of his chair, off toward Zhou Mi with a spring in his step. And it was then that the food emerged from the kitchen.
The man had stopped beside Zhou Mi as Kyuhyun accepted his package. And the odd thing was, from his newly enlightened position, he could see just how closed off Zhou Mi was to the other man. It wasn’t even something Zhou Mi was aware of, he thought. Of course, the crossed arms and the tight, vaguely murderous face were clues.
Breathe, Kyuhyun, he told himself. He hadn’t even heard Zhou Mi’s reason for leaving, and he hadn’t as yet had an opportunity to apologize. Making Zhou Mi more pissed at him wasn’t going to help the situation in the least.
“You shouldn’t have let him touch you,” Zhou Mi barked out as the door of their room closed behind them.
And there was enough jealousy in that one sentence to light all of Kyuhyun on fire.
“Believe me, I wasn’t encouraging it.”
“You won’t let me touch you, you won’t touch me. But he was holding your hand... He sure did like to detail how you let him touch your arm, or run his toes up your leg.”
“Ugh, stop! He grabbed me and I moved away! I didn’t want that!”
“Playing footsie was something we did, Kui Xian... You should know what that means.”
Kyuhyun stared at him blankly. What it meant? That the man was a moron?
“What do you mean?” he asked, all caution in his tone.
“I need to breathe,” Zhou Mi said, standing. “I’m not angry with you, I just... I have to go clear my head.”
“Why, off to have another intimate chat?” Kyuhyun asked stonily.
“He wants into your pants!” Zhou Mi almost shouted, making Kyuhyun’s heart leap in shock. “Do you know that? All he does is talk about you. How sexy you are, how amazing you look, what a great voice you have... If he could send me to Africa right now so he could have you to himself, he would.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Kyuhyun asked, pushing to his feet. “All he does is talk about how amazing you were in bed, and what amazing sounds you made and what he’d do to live it all over again.”
“He’s playing you, Kui Xian,” Zhou Mi said, sounding tired. “He wants to see if you’ll get so incensed about me having been with him, that you’ll start thinking you deserve a taste, too.”
“He doesn’t want you?”
“No!”
“Then what the hell is wrong with him? Why didn’t you tell me this to start with?”
“That my ex is trying to seduce you? Of course. I’ll just get you a room while I’m at it.”
An incredulous laugh bubbled. “You think I’d want him?”
“I’m all you’ve known,” Zhou Mi said softly. “And if...”
“You think I don’t know how good we have it? The grass is greener out there, Zhou Mi. I’ve seen it. It’s called being alone.” He sighed as his sarcasm only made Zhou Mi frown. He stepped closer, aching to touch and not daring to. This, his apology, he could finally give it. “But seriously... You pick really crappy times to be insecure, but it’s you I want to be with. We’ve had a year together, and it’s only made me more sure that I want a year two. I don’t care what happened back then.” He paused, fought for composure a bit as Zhou Mi’s arms slid around him. “You get miffed at me when I get too lazy to wash the dishes. What makes you think I’d ever be ambitious enough to want to start over with someone else?”
“It’s so easy for me to see why other guys, girls...whatever, would want you. I got so lucky. You’re just... You’re everything. And when I wonder how I managed...”
“You’re Anytime Zhou Mi, aren’t you?” Kyuhyun interrupted, before Zhou Mi could start expounding on his unworthiness. “You sent me a hundred letters, and you popped up in front of my face, and you smiled at me, damn it. How was I supposed to pretend I was perfectly fine on my own if you smiled at me?” The air trembled out of him. “I love you. I would never be more complete without you. You’re all I ever want to know.”
He squeezed tighter as Zhou Mi began to sob softly against him, the tremble spreading through them as though they were one person instead of two. He pressed his face against Zhou Mi’s neck, where he had first found a place that sheltered him, where he belonged.
It wasn’t as though the specter of his parents’ failed marriage had left him. There was still the cynical bead inside of him that said that this relationship could end next month, much less in Zhou Mi’s projected fifty years. Everyone stupid in love imagined things would go on that way forever.
But Zhou Mi whispered “I love you” into his hair. And he felt that it was as true today as it had been the morning in Zhou Mi’s apartment when Zhou Mi had first told him. The love had never gone away, but it had changed with them.
The dance they had begun, they had stumbled, tripped over each other’s feet. But the rhythm of it was right there, waiting for them to continue it.
He pressed his lips to Zhou Mi’s neck, felt it returned. His lips curved.
“Zhou Mi, I love you,” he said. “And I don’t tell you enough how much...how much I do. I can’t function without you. I miss you, when I can’t talk to you. I can’t sleep without you next to me. I need you.”
Zhou Mi pulled back, his hands cupping Kyuhyun’s face and his voice still sort of miserably shaken.
“I don’t want anyone but you, Kui Xian. And from where I’m standing today, I never will.”
“Me too,” he said. “I’m sorry he made you think that. I’m sorry if I did anything to make you think that. I was too focused on stupid things, I didn’t even see...”
“It’s okay, Kui Xian. I’m sorry, too. I was just so angry... That he talked to you at all, made you think bad things about me. I wanted to get you away. We should have talked. I’m so stupid.”
“I still love you,” Kyuhyun said. And got the smile he had been hoping for.
“I have something for you,” Zhou Mi said, letting him go to scramble over to his suitcase. “I was going to give it to you tonight, but I think... I want to now.”
He followed after Zhou Mi, sitting on the edge of the bed and poking the other’s calf with his toes as he watched. Yes, that was just for them.
“You put my gift in your underwear?” he asked.
“Where else could I put it, if I didn’t want you to find it?”
Well, he supposed that was true. He could remember a few instances of raiding Zhou Mi’s suitcase for socks or a t-shirt or something of the like. Someone, of the two of them, was rather particular about the wear and care of his underthings, and Kyuhyun happened to be looking at him. So Kyuhyun touching the precious clothing unless it was to carry it to Zhou Mi was almost unthinkable.
“I think I was promised you in a big bed, lots of sex and food over the weekend,” he said as Zhou Mi rummaged. “So far I think, all I’ve done is eat a lot of food. I’m going to go home five pounds heavier.”
“I’ll love every one of them,” Zhou Mi promised.
“Tell me that when I’m 50 and horribly overweight. You’ll still be a stick and I’ll be forced to hate you forever.”
Zhou Mi sighed. “You have no idea how much I want that.”
“Me overweight? Or me hating you?”
“No... Kui Xian.”
He smiled at the indulgent, chastising tone. “So I guess we have a lot to make up on.”
Zhou Mi turned, pressing his face against Kyuhyun’s thigh as though he were gathering himself.
“This is for us,” Zhou Mi said, and lifted a plain rectangular box onto Kyuhyun’s leg.
Kyuhyun’s hands were a bit unsteady as he lifted the lid, and what he saw there sent cold ghosting over his skin followed by a heated flush.
“Two rings for me?” he asked softly, and watched the corners of Zhou Mi’s mouth quirk upwards.
“What’s mine is yours, Kui Xian.”
Their eyes met, Zhou Mi asking for acceptance before he reached into the box where the silver rings were nestled. Zhou Mi slid the ring onto the fourth finger of Kyuhyun’s left hand.
“I want everyone to know,” Zhou Mi said, his voice breaking slightly on the last word, “That we belong to each other.”
With the box firmly in hand, he slid off of the bed and half into Zhou Mi’s lap.
“To each other,” Kyuhyun confirmed. He lifted Zhou Mi’s hand, the one he had once rejected and then clung to, sliding the shining silver band down the long finger until it rested, matching his own. “One year down, forty nine to go, huh?”
Zhou Mi gasped, grasping Kyuhyun’s face and lifting them both eagerly into a kiss. Easy, Kyuhyun’s hands seemed to say, I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.
They stood as one, backing toward the bed still joined. It was not make-up sex, per se. But it was sealing a promise.
They undressed slowly, as though relishing the knowledge they had in the other’s body. They knew where each liked to be touched, where they didn’t. How to arouse with a kiss, a word. How to comfort. How to love.
One thing he hadn’t expected was waterworks as Zhou Mi slid inside him. A big fat tear plopped onto his face and he stared up in shock.
Two seconds later they were clinging to each other in various levels of amusement and embarrassment.
“I thought only girls cried during sex,” he murmured, stroking Zhou Mi’s hair.
“I worried... I worried that we would never do this again.”
“Ah,” he said sagely, trying to get a laugh out of Zhou Mi. “I’m that good in bed, huh?”
He got a little snuffling chuckle. “You are great in bed. The best. I love you, though, that’s what I mean...”
“I know. I love you, too.”
Zhou Mi buried his face closer against Kyuhyun’s neck.
“I’m home. I’m home with you, Kui Xian.”
Kyuhyun had to close his eyes as they brimmed full at the tattered, earnest voice, feeling tears track down his cheekbones.
“Then welcome home for both us,” he said, rubbing his head against Zhou Mi’s.
Zhou Mi sobbed, and Kyuhyun was partway into a laugh when Zhou Mi’s hips took a reflexive thrust. The laugh choked up inside of him.
“Ugh,” he said, clearing his throat. “You may be the only man on the planet who can be weepy and horny at the same time. Lucky me.”
“I’m lucky too,” Zhou Mi echoed, though a little more damply.
It was not the most rousing bout of sex that they had ever had, containing a few pauses for long kisses and whispered words. But, he thought as Zhou Mi’s breath puffed into his face and he adjusted the blanket to them, it had been among the most meaningful. He rested a hand lightly on the sleeping Zhou Mi’s cheek.
“Lucky me,” he whispered.
***
Zhou Mi was cuddly after he woke, not letting Kyuhyun take an inch, not that he would have asked for it. He seemed determined to clear everything, all his fears, in one fell swoop while he had Kyuhyun’s undivided attention. That was what he was used to. Not the fumbly silences, the hasty exits. But this focused attention, and earnest emotion.
Zhou Mi sighed heavily. “Having those rings in my suitcase and not having everything go perfectly... I’d forgotten the cologne, and you were upset with me because of what you’d heard, and I could have just died.”
“I came here to be with you,” Kyuhyun said, stroking Zhou Mi’s cheeks. “Celebrating something, and making plans. A year of you and me. Let’s keep our reservations for dinner, okay? Let’s celebrate the way we should have started.”
“I’m sorry... I’m just so sorry...”
“It’s not your fault,” Kyuhyun interrupted gently. “Except maybe getting involved with a moron. When he started talking, I should have gotten up and walked away. But it was like that cliche, only I was listening to the car crash. You’re one of the few people in my life that I trust. So my own insecurities were trying to project something onto you that wasn’t there. What happened in the past doesn’t change what we have together.”
“Wow,” Zhou Mi said, looking a little startled. “You really thought a lot on this.”
“I had a little help from my relationship counselor.”
Zhou Mi laughed. “How is Hankyung?”
“Mad as hornets. He nearly brained me through the telephone.”
“I’m glad he didn’t.”
Kyuhyun stared down at the beloved face, the gently smiling lips, the hooded eyes.
“I love you,” he said in Mandarin. “Always.”
“I love you, Kui Xian. Always,” Zhou Mi said, smiling. “My only love.”
They cradled each other, faces close. It was something to be savored, the feel of Zhou Mi’s lips against his. How many times had they kissed like this? As many times as was possible, no doubt about that. Knowing he could walk up to Zhou Mi, any time of day or night, and be welcomed like this...
“Sing to me?”
Zhou Mi giggled a little, dipping his face for a moment against Kyuhyun’s neck, but sobered, beginning to sing very softly as they held each other. One of the songs Zhou Mi had sang a night long ago to comfort Kyuhyun in an unfamiliar place. It spoke of enduring love, and Zhou Mi had taught its meaning and its words to Kyuhyun as well. Kyuhyun raised his voice to join him in it, and around them, the world began to slowly slide back into place.
***
They dressed separately for dinner, and for good reason. When Zhou Mi stepped out, his suit crisp and dark, looking so put together... And that ring on his finger. It was all Kyuhyun could do not to suggest they forget dinner entirely. Zhou Mi took his hand, keeping him at some distance as they admired each other.
“Kui Xian... You look amazing.”
“So do you. Who knew a professor could clean up like that? You look hot.”
“Come here, Kui Xian.”
It took a moment, inhaling into the hug, for him to realize just what he was smelling. The cologne that Zhou Mi had forgotten.
“What... How?”
“The concierge helped me to find a store that had it,” Zhou Mi whispered into his neck. “That’s why... That’s why I had to run out earlier.”
“Oh. Oh, good.”
“We should go for our reservation...”
“Should we?” Kyuhyun asked a bit dreamily.
“Kui Xian!” Zhou Mi said, laughing.
How was it, after all this time, that a scent could knock him for a loop? Not just that, but that Zhou Mi had worked to find it for him. Had worn it for him. Had always, every time, worn it for him, in fact, from the day of their very first date.
“How long till we leave?”
“The day after tomorrow.”
“I hope you weren’t planning on getting out of bed till then,” Kyuhyun said.
“And you’ll be there too?”
“As long as you’re with me in it.”
“I will be, Kui Xian,” Zhou Mi murmured against his lips. “I love you.”
Kyuhyun looked up, feeling a smile brighten his face. Zhou Mi’s eyes told him all of that in no uncertain terms.
“I love you,” he said, and chuckled. “Happy anniversary.”
They clutched each other for a long moment before he heard Zhou Mi whisper, “Happy forever.”
He knew the body against him as well as he did his own, what he liked to eat, how he liked to sleep. That Zhou Mi liked to touch, to sleep close to him, to sneak into his shower after a cold day. That when those dark eyes went soft like they were right now, there was mushiness to the extreme going on inside of that head. It was because he knew that that he cuddled to Zhou Mi’s side as they rode down the elevator, joining their ringed hands together.
They shared their entrees, after an appetizer of...of course...crab cakes. Zhou Mi had buried his face in Kyuhyun’s hand to keep from laughing out loud as Kyuhyun made the order.
The poor waiter had no idea.
“I feel like I should have something better to say,” Kyuhyun said a bit awkwardly after they had eaten. “Like I should have a speech about what you are to me, what the last year has been...? I love you, and that’s all I know...”
“That’s all the speech I need, Kui Xian,” Zhou Mi said, his hand tightening on Kyuhyun’s. “You’re everything. It’s such a cliche, but it’s true. I love you, and you are everything.”
“Then you think you’ll keep me a while?” Kyuhyun asked, smiling from beneath his lashes.
“You couldn’t get rid of me if you tried. I’m persistent, aren’t I?”
Kyuhyun set down his chocolate-tinged fork. “You are. You shouldn’t ever stop. Should we go to the room?”
Zhou Mi smiled.
***
The scent of the damn cologne was everywhere, his face, his hands, his neck. He couldn’t escape it, just as he couldn’t escape Zhou Mi’s mouth as they careened into the hotel room. He nearly stumbled over his dropped jacket, jerking hard on Zhou Mi’s tie. He hoped to take it off, not strangle him. Luckily, it pulled free, and they worked on buttons in unison.
He forgot the simple motion of taking sleeves off of his own arms, as Zhou Mi’s mouth cruised along his neck. His breath exhaled on a moan, and as he inhaled, savored the scent of Zhou Mi, the warmth of his heated skin...
Their pants dropped almost in unison, and he was through first, shoving aside covers to wait.
He laid back, trying to pose a bit sexily as Zhou Mi finished stripping.
“Hey, baby,” he drawled. “Want some love?”
Zhou Mi leaned down to capture his mouth. “Yes please,” he breathed.
He squeezed Zhou Mi’s hip, running his hands along Zhou Mi’s waist, his ribs, as they sank together, skin to skin. He traced Zhou Mi’s mouth, and smiled as Zhou Mi kissed at the ring as it passed by.
“Please,” he murmured, “Zhou Mi...”
“Kui Xian...”
It wasn’t different than the first time, or the time after that, or after that...
But it was, it was in the way each time was, the way that Zhou Mi touched him, the things they said to each other...
The way they kissed.
“Love you, Kui Xian,” Zhou Mi gasped, breaking the deep kiss.
He licked his lips, swallowing. “Love you, too.”
He moaned into Zhou Mi’s neck as the movement of Zhou Mi’s hips sent shudders through him.
Zhou Mi’s head nudged into his. He wanted it to last, wanted it to go forever, and keep this connection between them, but it couldn’t. His head tossed, hands grasping at Zhou Mi’s back.
“Zhou Mi, I can’t, I can’t...”
His whole body was crying with it.
He shuddered as Zhou Mi did not slow, crying out into Zhou Mi’s neck as his movements began to stutter, their voices ringing together as Zhou Mi nearly panted through his moans. More vocal than he had ever heard.
“Kui Xian, oh. Oh.”
Zhou Mi was calling his name...
“Zhou Mi...”
Kyuhyun fell first, the sound of Zhou Mi overtaking him.
Zhou Mi was not long to follow.
***
“Kyu... Kyu...” Zhou Mi crooned.
“Who’s that?” he croaked, feeling his skin rather wetly come away from the sheet as they moved to rest on their sides.
Zhou Mi was still in some kind of a daze, and he focused on breathing instead, pressing his lips briefly to Zhou Mi’s chin.
Was his heart still beating? He supposed it was. Zhou Mi could probably feel it knocking into him with each hard rap.
“There are no words for what that was,” Zhou Mi gusted out. “We can’t do that very often. I can’t survive it.”
“Did we survive it?” he wondered out loud, and Zhou Mi barked out a laugh. “Who were you calling out for?”
“You don’t know your name?”
“Kyu? Not something that comes out of your mouth often.”
“I’m not half dead often either, Kui Xian.”
“That’s better.” He curved into the body beside him, sinking into a pleasant haze, the scent of Zhou Mi’s cologne and his warm breath just that much more soothing to him.
Zhou Mi’s hand slid against his lower back, cooled now that they were.
“Kui Xian...” Zhou Mi laid his face closer.
“I love you,” he said, tracing a line across Zhou Mi’s brow.
“Forever?” Zhou Mi asked.
“Until this ring evaporates off of my finger.”
Zhou Mi lifted the hand that held it, pressing his lips to the ring, to Kyuhyun’s palm. Then he turned to his mouth, kissing Kyuhyun with a renewed sort of interest that had him tipping back his head.
“Oh, I don’t think so,” he said, laughing, even as Zhou Mi began to kiss a sweet path down his throat. “You’ll have to help yourself if you’re wanting anything else tonight.”
“Help myself, hmm,” Zhou Mi murmured against his ear.
He couldn’t help the moan as Zhou Mi’s hand stroked his hip.
“I don’t think I can...”
Zhou Mi showed him that he could.
***
Kyuhyun felt like laughing as they made it outside into the cool air. Stealing outside had felt like they were in some sort of spy movie, eyeballing the hotel lobby for any sign of Jinsung.
He wasn’t sure between them, who was most likely to tell the man off, or drop kick him to Mars. Probably a cooperative effort. It wouldn’t have mattered if they had seen him, he thought. They were finally where they should have been to begin with... On the same side.
With skis on, the sun shining, Zhou Mi eying the bunny slope with trepidation, it was finally the trip Kyuhyun had been expecting.
“Next stop, the Olympics?” Kyuhyun teased, as Zhou Mi got set.
“I don’t... You go down first, okay?”
“Okay. Kiss?”
Zhou Mi’s lips poked out. “You really do think I’m going to die.”
Still, Zhou Mi leaned in for a kiss, since Kyuhyun wasn’t stooping to answer that.
Zhou Mi made it down with ease, face lit with triumph as their skis tangled, Kyuhyun dragging him close for a celebratory hug. It turned out longer than they had planned for, when Zhou Mi caught his mouth.
“Good job,” Kyuhyun said, licking his lips. “So, a few more times?”
“We have a very warm bed inside...”
“Two more times,” Kyuhyun promised. “Then inside activities.”
“Promise?”
It was kind of hard to pinky promise with their gloves on, but somehow they managed.
And with Zhou Mi on his high from conquering the bunny slope every single time, without wiping out or running over some other body part, they had to take some serious downtime from their subsequent... Indoor athletic pursuits. Though they had managed to christen the shower.
And the settee. Though that was later, after their well deserved nap.
***
They packed with some regret, not really wanting to leave the little nest they’d made. But still, Kyuhyun thought it would be nice to be back in their own place. Zhou Mi picking up after him, grinning at the little puppy and owl in their kitchen window. And of course, he missed the store.
“You get to choose where we go away to next year,” Kyuhyun said, settling into the car seat. “Apparently I have really crappy taste in destinations.”
Zhou Mi made a noncommittal noise at that, turning on the car and clearly not wanting to risk landing on Kyuhyun’s bad side.
“But you know what?” Kyuhyun asked, leaning close and pressing his lips to Zhou Mi’s. “I think I have really great taste in guys.”
“Now who’s being sappy?” Zhou Mi said wickedly, and Kyuhyun laughed.
Things were going to be tender between them for a while, there were still raw places. But as they smoothed over those places with love and care... It would probably be even stronger than before.
***
Ryeowook was the first one to spot the rings. Almost before Kyuhyun had made it halfway to the counter, Ryeowook had ordered them to stop, fishing for the camera under the counter and telling them to lift their hands.
When they stared at the picture in the camera’s view window, Kyuhyun had to laugh. Zhou Mi’s cheek had been squished to his, with their hands and rings of full display.
“We look smug,” he said, nearly guffawing as Zhou Mi did a little victory dance beside him.
The door chimed, and the sound of a child’s voice told him who he would see even before he turned to look.
“We haven’t been back five minutes and you’re already bugging us?” he called, but as he was grinning he didn’t think Hankyung took him seriously.
Siwon let the door close behind the four of them.
“Welcome back!” Hankyung said, smiling past the young child he had in his arms.
Hankyung, with eyes like a hawk, spotted the ring immediately. Not that Kyuhyun had flashed that hand forward or anything.
Hankyung offloaded his son into Siwon’s arms so he could squeeze Kyuhyun half to death. He inspected Kyuhyun’s ring with relish.
“It’s gorgeous! Good job, Zhou Mi!”
“Good thing Zhou Mi chose a different color,” Kyuhyun said wryly, lining up his silver band with Hankyung’s gold one. “At least people won’t think we’re together.”
Everyone in hearing distance broke out into helpless laughter, before assembling themselves for one last picture.
They framed that picture for both houses. Kyuhyun, with Zhou Mi’s arms around him, standing beside Hankyung. Hankyung held the baby, almost a year old himself, and behind them Siwon with one arm around Hankyung’s waist, and the other holding Yunjee’s hand. It was a snapshot of happiness that brought little bubbles of joy to him months after it had been hung.
Siwon and Hankyung with their two, sweet children. He wondered if Zhou Mi saw their side of the picture as slightly empty, with only the two of them in it.
“Do you want that?” Kyuhyun asked one day after work, as they passed by it on their way into the apartment.
He rested a finger below Siwon and Hankyung, so that Zhou Mi would know what he was talking about. That, a family. He knew. Knew how much Zhou Mi loved the children in the picture, how much he enjoyed it when they were let loose with them, shipping Siwon and Hankyung off to time together. If Kyuhyun was truthful, he enjoyed that time as well, Zhou Mi’s presence keeping him mostly calm, even with a screaming baby on their hands.
He turned his head, finding Zhou Mi looking at him. Did Zhou Mi, with his soft eyes, want that?
“Someday,” Zhou Mi answered honestly.
“Someday,” he echoed, smiling.
Of course they had no idea, as they laughed against each other, just when someday would be...
***
***
I was sad to leave "For Always" behind... This was one of the ways that I consoled myself. <3 As ever, thanks to all of you... Who followed that, or this, or both... Or who enjoyed any part of it. <3
As a special bit, here is an extra... The "smutty" scenes from "For Always" edited back into their original, smuttier state. :) Two for KyuMi, and a small less-smutty SiHan prelude: http://coley-merrin.livejournal.com/327233.html
***