[Fic] The Life I Live - 4/7
Title: The Life I Live
Author: Coley Merrin
Rating: R overall
Pairings: Zhou Mi/Kyuhyun
Genre: AU, fantasy, angst, romance
Summary: He woke in a world that wasn't his own, to the eyes of a tiger. What he found in an idyll forest was uncertainty, trust, and the most elusive emotion of all...
Fic Archive
Part One * Part Two * Part Three * Part Four * Part Five
***
Kyuhyun woke, warm and utterly comfortable. It was the first time he had woken to find Zhou Mi still there, and still asleep at that. He still felt the bubble of guilt for Zhou Mi’s tears... Though it was hard to pinpoint exactly why. If he were truly responsible for Zhou Mi crying, then he had to accept the fact that somehow Zhou Mi was at least subconsciously aware of the dream Kyuhyun had.
That he had seen Zhou Mi in the dream, that he had been immediately defensive and giving out excuses made him wonder. That Zhou Mi had known he was in pain, had been comforted by Kyuhyun... There were a lot of little things that were adding up in strange ways. When Kyuhyun had envisioned a girl touching him the night they had first met, both he and Zhou Mi had nearly been sick. Now he had dreamed of a girl, and had ended up feeling as though his chest was being seared as Zhou Mi cried. It was like the idea of them being with anyone but each other had very real consequences for both of them.
Kyuhyun touched Zhou Mi’s cheek lightly, and the dark eyes opened. Zhou Mi swallowed, and his lips curved.
“Kui Xian.”
“Good morning to you, too,” he said, and dipped his head, pressing his lips gently to Zhou Mi’s chin.
Zhou Mi went perfectly still and stiff, eyes wide as he considered Kyuhyun. He shook his head, preparing to sit up when Zhou Mi stopped him.
And Zhou Mi rather hesitantly copied the move, pressing his lips against Kyuhyun’s chin, springing back as though asking for approval.
Kyuhyun could not help the grin, and Zhou Mi copied it, squishing Kyuhyun’s face into his neck for a long moment.
He lay back and watched as Zhou Mi stood, getting ready to find Kyuhyun breakfast. Zhou Mi’s body as he stretched was compelling, sensual. He tried to fathom thinking those same words of any man at his job and his nose immediately wrinkled in disgust. And also, he had no desire either for the chest in front of him to be curvy, his hips to be more fleshy. He was Zhou Mi, with his long legs and slender arms. His lithe body, and heated mouth.
He wanted, regardless of gender. The brilliant smile, the throaty moans. The reassuring touch of Zhou Mi’s hand. The whisper of Kyuhyun’s name against his skin. It was sexy, almost to the exclusion of anything else that he had found appealing in his rather meager history. He didn’t have to understand it. It just was.
They sat knee to knee, and he feasted on the fresh food, and Zhou Mi’s touch.
***
Zhou Mi pulled him close as they walked, seeming utterly pleased with himself about something. He held a finger to his lips, leading Kyuhyun forward until they leaned against a large tree
He gulped in air, seeing what Zhou Mi was trying to show him. A tiger, large and adult, lay in the small clearing. The tiger they had heard from a distance? He stared at Zhou Mi with wonder.
And then suddenly, Zhou Mi was moving. Leaving Kyuhyun’s side and darting past the tree. The tiger, startled, leaped onto its feet, eyes wide, stance open. It seemed to coil with power...and leaped toward Zhou Mi, paws extended.
Kyuhyun’s nails dug into the tree bark, positive he was about to see a death. He opened his mouth to shout, and nothing came out. Nothing.
Zhou Mi opened his arms, and the tiger... Wrapped its forelegs around Zhou Mi’s neck as though hugging him. He heard Zhou Mi’s laugh, and his knees started to shake.
He sagged against the tree, his heart thumping madly as he watched the affectionate scene in front of him.
Zhou Mi let the tiger drop down to the ground, and it rubbed its head against Zhou Mi’s hip.
Zhou Mi was absolutely lit with happiness as he turned toward Kyuhyun. His face seemed to soften when he took in Kyuhyun’s appearance.
“Kui Xian,” he said softly, and pushed the tiger down, until it was laying at his feet.
Zhou Mi stepped forward, extending a hand for Kyuhyun to come to him. And taking a deep breath, Kyuhyun tested his unsteady legs, grateful that they held up upright as he reached for Zhou Mi’s calming hand. They moved closer to the recumbent tiger.
“Kui Xian,” Zhou Mi told the tiger, making little rumbling noises. Hopefully assuring it that Kyuhyun was not dinner.
He knelt at Zhou Mi’s instruction and wondered what he was supposed to do then. Bow and say, “how do you do, tiger?”
The big cat stepped forward gracefully, bumping Kyuhyun’s shoulder with its nose, sniffing at the nape of his neck. The tiger blew air out in a rather strange sounding snort, moving back to Zhou Mi as if to say So? What’s the big deal about this?
But Zhou Mi seemed to take it well. He held out a hand for Kyuhyun as the tiger laid down again and watched them both with interest.
Kyuhyun was fairly positive his hands were shaking, a little bit of fear combined with equal parts excitement. He trusted Zhou Mi, but this was a tiger, a cat that outweighed both of them. And it was a tiger Zhou Mi seemed determined that he be acquainted with. The tiger’s fur was not that much different than the pelt Zhou Mi carried, with the exception that it was warm, on a living, breathing animal.
The tiger did not seem interested in their petting hands, and Zhou Mi tugged him down the tiger’s side, toward the soft underbelly. At first he wasn’t sure what Zhou Mi was trying to show him, until he felt the firm flesh under his hands twitch and move.
The tiger was a she, and very pregnant.
Zhou Mi grinned and nodded at his realization, clearly excited by the idea of tiger cubs. The tiger just moaned a little bit as Zhou Mi hugged her, rubbing his face against the top of her head. She licked his arm, and Zhou Mi’s flesh turned pink from the scathing tongue. He seemed to be telling her something, because she pushed up onto her feet, and with a flick of her elegant tail, sauntered into the trees.
Kyuhyun stared at his hands a moment. They had just petted a wild tiger. A tiger that could have killed either of them.
Zhou Mi could tame a tiger with a thought, a touch, and there was a certain kind of amazing power in that. He pushed himself to his feet, unsteady for a different reason. Seeing Zhou Mi and the crocodile had been one thing. To watch him push away a fully grown tiger as though she had been a toddler was another. It felt as though he had stripped away a shell as Zhou Mi watched him approach.
Their bodies met hard, painfully, but adjusted immediately, and he bit at the tender skin of Zhou Mi’s neck, just to hear him growl with pleasure. It wasn’t enough, he realized. What he had wanted was to savage Zhou Mi’s mouth, bite that full lower lip, suck on it, until it was red and plump and taste the mysteries in the shadows there.
With a grunt, Zhou Mi turned them, their hips frantic together. He pulled Zhou Mi’s head up, fingers deep in the shaggy hair, needing to see his face. He was close, so close, as he stared into Zhou Mi’s eyes. There were mysteries there as well. Keen intelligence. Desire. Something else entirely.
His head snapped to the side as he came, incapable even of groaning, and unable to look at Zhou Mi any more, because he didn’t trust himself not to drag their mouths together, and take and take...
They began to still, breathing deep and quick, bodies slick against each other. Zhou Mi gave his little two note chuckle, as though he were pleased by something. That and the way Zhou Mi rubbed the side of his head against Kyuhyun let him know he was being shown affection.
He had never initiated a sexual situation between them. Was that why Zhou Mi was so pleased?
They washed each other in the warm river water, stretching out in the dappled sunlight for an afternoon nap. The tiger fur was soft beneath him, and Zhou Mi was beside him, a hand resting on Kyuhyun’s stomach. He had no fears as he slid into sleep.
***
It was not unusual or frightening any longer for Zhou Mi to leave him sitting, moving into the trees with purpose to find food for Kyuhyun. He had tried following and was denied, Zhou Mi stroking his hair and shoulders until he acquiesced, sitting on the tiger pelt like some sort of princess. He chewed on his thumb nail as he thought. It would’ve been nice to have been useful in some way. But Zhou Mi seemed hell bent on doing everything for him. About the only thing he wasn’t doing was walking for him.
The forest around him became very quiet, and his breath caught. Zhou Mi was usually close enough to hear. A twig, a branch swaying.
He scrambled to his feet as a faint sound reached him. There was the possibility that he could have been imagining it... Until it came again.
“Kui Xian...?”
Zhou Mi’s voice. But it was soft, weak and pained, as though he were hurt.
“Zhou Mi!” he called back, hoping for a reply.
He heard his name again, this time more urgent, and began to move urgently through the trees. Had Zhou Mi fallen, injured himself? Zhou Mi had seemed indestructible, so the idea that something could hurt him chilled Kyuhyun to the core. If Zhou Mi had not come to him, then he had to be very, very hurt.
“Kui Xian!”
The voice was louder now, but no stronger, pivoting to his right and breaking into a run. The trees were thinning, and he emerged onto brown, dying grass. Another cliff. He squinted at it, trying to discern its edge, but being unable to. It was almost hazy to him.
“Zhou Mi?” he called, listening hard.
“Kui Xian...”
His first, quick fear was confirmed. The voice was coming from below. Without regard he stepped forward, needing to see. Perhaps there was a way down, perhaps...
He shouted in terror as the rock beneath his feet began to crumble, and though he reached and twisted, tried to get a handhold, there was nothing he could grasp to stop his fall. He half fell, half rolled onto a rock shelf, landing in an ungainly heap dangerously close to a ledge that seemed to fall off for hundreds of feet. When he saw his hands, they were slick with blood, where he had tried to grasp at the rock. His arms, legs, were littered with oozing cuts.
If Zhou Mi were down here... If he had fallen... He could be bleeding like this. Or worse.
“Zhou Mi!”
“Zhou Mi?” a voice called back, an almost exact imitation of Kyuhyun’s voice. And then in Zhou Mi’s tone, “Kui Xian!”
That pained voice. But it wasn’t Zhou Mi. A figure fluttered down, landing heavily on a rock nearly twenty feet away.
The bird was huge and black, where tail feathers ought to have been, there was a scaly black thing, long and winding down the rock like a monkey’s tail. He shuddered, ill from pain and fright. Possibly more frightened than he had been at seeing the tiger for the first time. He shouldn’t be here, shouldn’t be alone. Zhou Mi beside him, would have...
“Kui Xian!” the bird chattered, that same approximation of Zhou Mi’s voice. And began to fly again, moving toward the empty space. For the first time, Kyuhyun truly realized how far he had come.
He clutched his bleeding arms to his chest, aghast at what he saw. The lush and verdant green of the forest above him had disappeared, fading into hard, red clay, cracked and broken as it stretched mile after barren mile. It was hot, horridly so, and he could feel it burning up against his skin from where he kneeled. He cringed back against the rock face, the sharp points harsh against his skin.
When he and Zhou Mi had climbed the cliff, they had seen the whole of the forest, but none of this dead, ugly space.
How could this space exist beside a forest full of life? It was a dangerous space, he realized, and that would have been why Zhou Mi had not brought him here.
The bird landed again, this time closer, snapping it’s thick, ugly beak at Kyuhyun.
“Kui Xian?” it asked sinuously.
“Stop!” he shouted at it. “Stop using that voice!”
It chattered as though in laughter, but came no closer. His hand curled around a loose rock, his only weapon if decided to attack.
His skin felt parched, and he struggled to breathe in the sulfur-scented air. The bird seemed to be waiting for something, and he had a sick feeling that he knew what. If it attacked him here, with that wicked looking beak, he could be killed instantly. But there was bigger prey to be had. If it had lured him here, then it must know that Zhou Mi would come for him. He turned, wondering if there was any way he could get himself out.
But the rock face was far from smooth, or easy... The rocks were jagged, razor sharp and even with leverage hard to push against. It was only desperation that had him reaching for it.
And then Zhou Mi’s face appeared hazily above the rock.
“Kui Xian!”
“Zhou Mi.” It was an exultation and a plea. Get me out of here.
Stay away.
You’re here!
They reached for each other.
Zhou Mi’s hands closed around his wrists, and he tried to propel himself upward, feeling his feet cut as he searched for purchase. Inch by precious inch he climbed. One rock he pushed off of getting an elbow onto the ledge, the next rock, two, until Zhou Mi grasped his upper arms and hauled him fully onto the grass.
For a second he thought he was dying, the pain was so bright, and then Zhou Mi’s body covered his.
The bird heckled them, swooping closer, and Zhou Mi lifted enough to hiss, a primal sound that rushed through Kyuhyun as well. The bird laughed.
“Kui Xian!” it mocked.
Kyuhyun moaned as Zhou Mi left him, and watched through hazy eyes as Zhou Mi unfurled the tiger skin, draping it over himself as he would a coat. It was like something out of a dream, as Zhou Mi dropped toward the ground, shaking his head.
In his place, a tiger stood. Zhou Mi’s amulet still hung around the tiger’s neck.
The tiger looked straight at him. No... Zhou Mi looked straight at him. And then stepped up to the barrier.
The death bird began to agitate, its call a little less secure. It raised its wings and drew down a torrent of wind, shooting it straight at them.
Zhou Mi leaped back, and his body guarded Kyuhyun from the majority of the wind that had made it through the barrier. What did make it was hot, and sharp, buffeting even Zhou Mi’s heavy body back nearly a foot. Zhou Mi’s snarl made Kyuhyun flinch, and on sturdy tiger legs, Zhou Mi bounded to the barrier, bracing himself, and letting out a roar that reverberated through the forest.
The forest birds quieted. Frogs stopped croaking. Even the air itself seemed to stop moving at the force of that one, climactic sound.
The death bird reeled and ceased its chatter, before it flew away, screaming.
Zhou Mi returned to him, crouching near and making quiet sounds. The barest tip of rough tongue touched Kyuhyun’s shoulder before the tiger seemed to shrug, the skin sliding back and Zhou Mi’s head emerged from beneath it.
“Kui Xian...”
Kyuhyun cried out in pain again as Zhou Mi stood, pulling him to his feet for a swift moment before hoisting Kyuhyun onto his back. He held tight around Zhou Mi’s neck, reaching for the amulet there and being warmed by it. He knew without asking or wondering that Zhou Mi’s goal was to get them out of the sight of the birds, of the dead ground. Back into the healing forest.
As Zhou Mi set him carefully down on the edge of an old stump, he turned, reaching for Kyuhyun’s face.
“You’re hurt!” Kyuhyun exclaimed. Zhou Mi’s fingers, where they had crossed the boundary to reach for his hands, were red, and raw. Zhou Mi’s face was a mask of relief and concentration as Kyuhyun took his fingers gently into his mouth. He did not know why he thought that it would help, but somehow he did as he probed the injured skin, gently, so gently.
Zhou Mi’s eyes were sad as he met Kyuhyun’s, tracing Kyuhyun’s cheek with his opposite hand. He breathed in sharply.
“My world is dying,” Zhou Mi’s thoughts filtered through to him. “I never wanted you to see that place, see its pain. Only to see what is beautiful... You deserve all that is beautiful.”
Zhou Mi’s fingers emerged from his mouth, whole and healthy. Not a trace of injury on them. Kyuhyun drew a shaky breath.
“Zhou Mi, do you understand me?” Kyuhyun ventured, thinking hard.
Zhou Mi visibly started, staring up at Kyuhyun with wide eyes, Kyuhyun’s injured hands still halfway to his mouth.
“Kui Xian... You can understand my thoughts?”
Kyuhyun nodded, biting his lip.
“Oh, Kui Xian...” Both of Zhou Mi’s hands went to Kyuhyun’s face. “Kui Xian, I dreamed of this. There’s so much I want to tell you, so much you should know...” He sobered from his excitement. “But it’s your pain that allows this connection.”
Zhou Mi dropped his hands, returning to caring for Kyuhyun’s hands and arms.
“You don’t feel this pain, do you?” Kyuhyun wondered.
“Yes, I do,” Zhou Mi informed him. “The longer you are with me, the more I feel... I feel this. So much blood. I’m so sorry...”
“That bird... It was the one that called me? Why...why did it call me?”
“Because you are here for me... Because they can smell me on you, they can feel you in me. They would do anything to split us, to destroy me. It is because of those birds that the wasteland you saw exists. I brought us too close. I shouldn’t have left you alone. This is my fault.”
Kyuhyun let his fingers slide into Zhou Mi’s hair as he gently pressed his mouth to the burns and wounds on Kyuhyun’s shins.
“You saved me...”
“No,” Zhou Mi told him “You saved me...”
Kyuhyun didn’t have the ability to question what Zhou Mi meant, whimpering as his wounded feet were cared for. There were still marks along his shins, his arms, pink and angry, not healed as Zhou Mi’s wounds had been. But they were not bleeding, and much less painful.
Zhou Mi made a frustrated sound, moving up Kyuhyun’s body.
“I cannot do more like this... I must... I must join with you for you to heal fully. You are too injured.”
“I would enjoy that,” Kyuhyun thought a little shyly.
“Kui Xian...”
Zhou Mi pulled him close, letting him lay back on the earth.
“The tiger skin...” For the first time, Kyuhyun realized the pelt was not with them.
“It is safe.”
Zhou Mi began to press his lips down Kyuhyun’s neck as the cloth covering them was discarded.
“You taught me this. This press of lips...”
“That’s called kissing...” Kyuhyun told him.
“I never knew, until you. I could have lost you...”
Kyuhyun inhaled as Zhou Mi, as he had intended, joined with him.
“Why am I here...” Kyuhyun wondered, his hands resting on Zhou Mi’s neck.
“Your pain brings me great sorrow, and your pleasure, the greatest joy... You are my mate, and I will care for you, as I can for none other. For me, there is only you. The life I live, it is nothing to you, the want of you, the joy in you...”
A pleasurable chill went through him at the use of the word “mate.” It echoed through him. Echoed as he scraped his fingers though Zhou Mi’s hair, as they moaned into each other’s necks.
“Please, please...” Kyuhyun pleaded, and realized he had spoken aloud.
Zhou Mi’s weight shifted and they made identical sounds.
“Why,” Kyuhyun wondered as the pleasure began to build, “why have I never felt like this before...never felt pleasure like this before.”
“We are mated. Your pleasure in me, my pleasure in you, we share it. We feel it, together. We are one...”
He gasped, feeling Zhou Mi begin to quicken.
“To my very soul, I feel your pleasure, Kui Xian. I give you back all of mine, that you might find the same...”
Zhou Mi’s head dropped, their noses brushing, eyes meeting. Their lips were so close, close enough to feel their gusting breath. He longed to lift his head, feel the press of their mouths together, to where even the thought of doing so had his eyes rolling back...
The maelstrom of pleasure reached its peak, and his low cry was joined as Zhou Mi buried his face in Kyuhyun’s neck and willingly followed after.
***
Kyuhyun tested his arms, his legs as they lay together, and felt no pain. He grinned, turning toward Zhou Mi.
“It worked!” he thought jubilantly, meeting the dark eyes.
It was then he realized that Zhou Mi’s eyes were slightly sad, his hand gently stroking Kyuhyun’s hip.
“You can’t understand me any more,” Kyuhyun said out loud, reaching for Zhou Mi’s face. Zhou Mi cuddled his hand first. “I want to know more! What do you mean that I saved you? What did you mean about...”
Zhou Mi silenced him, pulling him close.
“Kui Xian...” Zhou Mi murmured. “Kui Xian.”
Kyuhyun could feel Zhou Mi’s mouth working, as though he were trying to form just another word. Lips were pressed to Kyuhyun’s cheek.
“K-kiss?” Zhou Mi said hesitantly.
Kyuhyun was sure he was gaping. “Kiss!” he said, vigorously nodding. “Kiss.”
And proceeded to demonstrate that across Zhou Mi’s cheekbones, until they were both laughing. He felt the warmth of the smile in Zhou Mi’s eyes straight to the tips of his fingers. To see that happiness
Anything was possible, having been allowed that tiny peek into Zhou Mi’s mind. They were connected in the most intimate way, he realized, as he toyed with the bottom of Zhou Mi’s amulet pouch. He had not been drugged when he arrived, but... But what? Completed? He had always felt a connection to Zhou Mi, but it was different now. Different in the way he saw the bright smile, or felt his touch. It wasn’t enough to see and touch, he wanted to know... Know all of those secrets Zhou Mi wished to tell him. Just to see himself as Zhou Mi saw him..
He traced a hand down his healed arm as Zhou Mi stood, and realized that it had been raining on them for the last several minutes.
Are you thirsty? Zhou Mi seemed to be asking, bringing his hands to his mouth, and pointing up from where the pure water fell. He nodded his assent, prepared to tip back his head, when Zhou Mi made a sound of amusement.
He fell in love as quietly as the spring rain, as Zhou Mi smiled and lifted a hand to catch it for him.
***
Author: Coley Merrin
Rating: R overall
Pairings: Zhou Mi/Kyuhyun
Genre: AU, fantasy, angst, romance
Summary: He woke in a world that wasn't his own, to the eyes of a tiger. What he found in an idyll forest was uncertainty, trust, and the most elusive emotion of all...
Fic Archive
Part One * Part Two * Part Three * Part Four * Part Five
***
Kyuhyun woke, warm and utterly comfortable. It was the first time he had woken to find Zhou Mi still there, and still asleep at that. He still felt the bubble of guilt for Zhou Mi’s tears... Though it was hard to pinpoint exactly why. If he were truly responsible for Zhou Mi crying, then he had to accept the fact that somehow Zhou Mi was at least subconsciously aware of the dream Kyuhyun had.
That he had seen Zhou Mi in the dream, that he had been immediately defensive and giving out excuses made him wonder. That Zhou Mi had known he was in pain, had been comforted by Kyuhyun... There were a lot of little things that were adding up in strange ways. When Kyuhyun had envisioned a girl touching him the night they had first met, both he and Zhou Mi had nearly been sick. Now he had dreamed of a girl, and had ended up feeling as though his chest was being seared as Zhou Mi cried. It was like the idea of them being with anyone but each other had very real consequences for both of them.
Kyuhyun touched Zhou Mi’s cheek lightly, and the dark eyes opened. Zhou Mi swallowed, and his lips curved.
“Kui Xian.”
“Good morning to you, too,” he said, and dipped his head, pressing his lips gently to Zhou Mi’s chin.
Zhou Mi went perfectly still and stiff, eyes wide as he considered Kyuhyun. He shook his head, preparing to sit up when Zhou Mi stopped him.
And Zhou Mi rather hesitantly copied the move, pressing his lips against Kyuhyun’s chin, springing back as though asking for approval.
Kyuhyun could not help the grin, and Zhou Mi copied it, squishing Kyuhyun’s face into his neck for a long moment.
He lay back and watched as Zhou Mi stood, getting ready to find Kyuhyun breakfast. Zhou Mi’s body as he stretched was compelling, sensual. He tried to fathom thinking those same words of any man at his job and his nose immediately wrinkled in disgust. And also, he had no desire either for the chest in front of him to be curvy, his hips to be more fleshy. He was Zhou Mi, with his long legs and slender arms. His lithe body, and heated mouth.
He wanted, regardless of gender. The brilliant smile, the throaty moans. The reassuring touch of Zhou Mi’s hand. The whisper of Kyuhyun’s name against his skin. It was sexy, almost to the exclusion of anything else that he had found appealing in his rather meager history. He didn’t have to understand it. It just was.
They sat knee to knee, and he feasted on the fresh food, and Zhou Mi’s touch.
***
Zhou Mi pulled him close as they walked, seeming utterly pleased with himself about something. He held a finger to his lips, leading Kyuhyun forward until they leaned against a large tree
He gulped in air, seeing what Zhou Mi was trying to show him. A tiger, large and adult, lay in the small clearing. The tiger they had heard from a distance? He stared at Zhou Mi with wonder.
And then suddenly, Zhou Mi was moving. Leaving Kyuhyun’s side and darting past the tree. The tiger, startled, leaped onto its feet, eyes wide, stance open. It seemed to coil with power...and leaped toward Zhou Mi, paws extended.
Kyuhyun’s nails dug into the tree bark, positive he was about to see a death. He opened his mouth to shout, and nothing came out. Nothing.
Zhou Mi opened his arms, and the tiger... Wrapped its forelegs around Zhou Mi’s neck as though hugging him. He heard Zhou Mi’s laugh, and his knees started to shake.
He sagged against the tree, his heart thumping madly as he watched the affectionate scene in front of him.
Zhou Mi let the tiger drop down to the ground, and it rubbed its head against Zhou Mi’s hip.
Zhou Mi was absolutely lit with happiness as he turned toward Kyuhyun. His face seemed to soften when he took in Kyuhyun’s appearance.
“Kui Xian,” he said softly, and pushed the tiger down, until it was laying at his feet.
Zhou Mi stepped forward, extending a hand for Kyuhyun to come to him. And taking a deep breath, Kyuhyun tested his unsteady legs, grateful that they held up upright as he reached for Zhou Mi’s calming hand. They moved closer to the recumbent tiger.
“Kui Xian,” Zhou Mi told the tiger, making little rumbling noises. Hopefully assuring it that Kyuhyun was not dinner.
He knelt at Zhou Mi’s instruction and wondered what he was supposed to do then. Bow and say, “how do you do, tiger?”
The big cat stepped forward gracefully, bumping Kyuhyun’s shoulder with its nose, sniffing at the nape of his neck. The tiger blew air out in a rather strange sounding snort, moving back to Zhou Mi as if to say So? What’s the big deal about this?
But Zhou Mi seemed to take it well. He held out a hand for Kyuhyun as the tiger laid down again and watched them both with interest.
Kyuhyun was fairly positive his hands were shaking, a little bit of fear combined with equal parts excitement. He trusted Zhou Mi, but this was a tiger, a cat that outweighed both of them. And it was a tiger Zhou Mi seemed determined that he be acquainted with. The tiger’s fur was not that much different than the pelt Zhou Mi carried, with the exception that it was warm, on a living, breathing animal.
The tiger did not seem interested in their petting hands, and Zhou Mi tugged him down the tiger’s side, toward the soft underbelly. At first he wasn’t sure what Zhou Mi was trying to show him, until he felt the firm flesh under his hands twitch and move.
The tiger was a she, and very pregnant.
Zhou Mi grinned and nodded at his realization, clearly excited by the idea of tiger cubs. The tiger just moaned a little bit as Zhou Mi hugged her, rubbing his face against the top of her head. She licked his arm, and Zhou Mi’s flesh turned pink from the scathing tongue. He seemed to be telling her something, because she pushed up onto her feet, and with a flick of her elegant tail, sauntered into the trees.
Kyuhyun stared at his hands a moment. They had just petted a wild tiger. A tiger that could have killed either of them.
Zhou Mi could tame a tiger with a thought, a touch, and there was a certain kind of amazing power in that. He pushed himself to his feet, unsteady for a different reason. Seeing Zhou Mi and the crocodile had been one thing. To watch him push away a fully grown tiger as though she had been a toddler was another. It felt as though he had stripped away a shell as Zhou Mi watched him approach.
Their bodies met hard, painfully, but adjusted immediately, and he bit at the tender skin of Zhou Mi’s neck, just to hear him growl with pleasure. It wasn’t enough, he realized. What he had wanted was to savage Zhou Mi’s mouth, bite that full lower lip, suck on it, until it was red and plump and taste the mysteries in the shadows there.
With a grunt, Zhou Mi turned them, their hips frantic together. He pulled Zhou Mi’s head up, fingers deep in the shaggy hair, needing to see his face. He was close, so close, as he stared into Zhou Mi’s eyes. There were mysteries there as well. Keen intelligence. Desire. Something else entirely.
His head snapped to the side as he came, incapable even of groaning, and unable to look at Zhou Mi any more, because he didn’t trust himself not to drag their mouths together, and take and take...
They began to still, breathing deep and quick, bodies slick against each other. Zhou Mi gave his little two note chuckle, as though he were pleased by something. That and the way Zhou Mi rubbed the side of his head against Kyuhyun let him know he was being shown affection.
He had never initiated a sexual situation between them. Was that why Zhou Mi was so pleased?
They washed each other in the warm river water, stretching out in the dappled sunlight for an afternoon nap. The tiger fur was soft beneath him, and Zhou Mi was beside him, a hand resting on Kyuhyun’s stomach. He had no fears as he slid into sleep.
***
It was not unusual or frightening any longer for Zhou Mi to leave him sitting, moving into the trees with purpose to find food for Kyuhyun. He had tried following and was denied, Zhou Mi stroking his hair and shoulders until he acquiesced, sitting on the tiger pelt like some sort of princess. He chewed on his thumb nail as he thought. It would’ve been nice to have been useful in some way. But Zhou Mi seemed hell bent on doing everything for him. About the only thing he wasn’t doing was walking for him.
The forest around him became very quiet, and his breath caught. Zhou Mi was usually close enough to hear. A twig, a branch swaying.
He scrambled to his feet as a faint sound reached him. There was the possibility that he could have been imagining it... Until it came again.
“Kui Xian...?”
Zhou Mi’s voice. But it was soft, weak and pained, as though he were hurt.
“Zhou Mi!” he called back, hoping for a reply.
He heard his name again, this time more urgent, and began to move urgently through the trees. Had Zhou Mi fallen, injured himself? Zhou Mi had seemed indestructible, so the idea that something could hurt him chilled Kyuhyun to the core. If Zhou Mi had not come to him, then he had to be very, very hurt.
“Kui Xian!”
The voice was louder now, but no stronger, pivoting to his right and breaking into a run. The trees were thinning, and he emerged onto brown, dying grass. Another cliff. He squinted at it, trying to discern its edge, but being unable to. It was almost hazy to him.
“Zhou Mi?” he called, listening hard.
“Kui Xian...”
His first, quick fear was confirmed. The voice was coming from below. Without regard he stepped forward, needing to see. Perhaps there was a way down, perhaps...
He shouted in terror as the rock beneath his feet began to crumble, and though he reached and twisted, tried to get a handhold, there was nothing he could grasp to stop his fall. He half fell, half rolled onto a rock shelf, landing in an ungainly heap dangerously close to a ledge that seemed to fall off for hundreds of feet. When he saw his hands, they were slick with blood, where he had tried to grasp at the rock. His arms, legs, were littered with oozing cuts.
If Zhou Mi were down here... If he had fallen... He could be bleeding like this. Or worse.
“Zhou Mi!”
“Zhou Mi?” a voice called back, an almost exact imitation of Kyuhyun’s voice. And then in Zhou Mi’s tone, “Kui Xian!”
That pained voice. But it wasn’t Zhou Mi. A figure fluttered down, landing heavily on a rock nearly twenty feet away.
The bird was huge and black, where tail feathers ought to have been, there was a scaly black thing, long and winding down the rock like a monkey’s tail. He shuddered, ill from pain and fright. Possibly more frightened than he had been at seeing the tiger for the first time. He shouldn’t be here, shouldn’t be alone. Zhou Mi beside him, would have...
“Kui Xian!” the bird chattered, that same approximation of Zhou Mi’s voice. And began to fly again, moving toward the empty space. For the first time, Kyuhyun truly realized how far he had come.
He clutched his bleeding arms to his chest, aghast at what he saw. The lush and verdant green of the forest above him had disappeared, fading into hard, red clay, cracked and broken as it stretched mile after barren mile. It was hot, horridly so, and he could feel it burning up against his skin from where he kneeled. He cringed back against the rock face, the sharp points harsh against his skin.
When he and Zhou Mi had climbed the cliff, they had seen the whole of the forest, but none of this dead, ugly space.
How could this space exist beside a forest full of life? It was a dangerous space, he realized, and that would have been why Zhou Mi had not brought him here.
The bird landed again, this time closer, snapping it’s thick, ugly beak at Kyuhyun.
“Kui Xian?” it asked sinuously.
“Stop!” he shouted at it. “Stop using that voice!”
It chattered as though in laughter, but came no closer. His hand curled around a loose rock, his only weapon if decided to attack.
His skin felt parched, and he struggled to breathe in the sulfur-scented air. The bird seemed to be waiting for something, and he had a sick feeling that he knew what. If it attacked him here, with that wicked looking beak, he could be killed instantly. But there was bigger prey to be had. If it had lured him here, then it must know that Zhou Mi would come for him. He turned, wondering if there was any way he could get himself out.
But the rock face was far from smooth, or easy... The rocks were jagged, razor sharp and even with leverage hard to push against. It was only desperation that had him reaching for it.
And then Zhou Mi’s face appeared hazily above the rock.
“Kui Xian!”
“Zhou Mi.” It was an exultation and a plea. Get me out of here.
Stay away.
You’re here!
They reached for each other.
Zhou Mi’s hands closed around his wrists, and he tried to propel himself upward, feeling his feet cut as he searched for purchase. Inch by precious inch he climbed. One rock he pushed off of getting an elbow onto the ledge, the next rock, two, until Zhou Mi grasped his upper arms and hauled him fully onto the grass.
For a second he thought he was dying, the pain was so bright, and then Zhou Mi’s body covered his.
The bird heckled them, swooping closer, and Zhou Mi lifted enough to hiss, a primal sound that rushed through Kyuhyun as well. The bird laughed.
“Kui Xian!” it mocked.
Kyuhyun moaned as Zhou Mi left him, and watched through hazy eyes as Zhou Mi unfurled the tiger skin, draping it over himself as he would a coat. It was like something out of a dream, as Zhou Mi dropped toward the ground, shaking his head.
In his place, a tiger stood. Zhou Mi’s amulet still hung around the tiger’s neck.
The tiger looked straight at him. No... Zhou Mi looked straight at him. And then stepped up to the barrier.
The death bird began to agitate, its call a little less secure. It raised its wings and drew down a torrent of wind, shooting it straight at them.
Zhou Mi leaped back, and his body guarded Kyuhyun from the majority of the wind that had made it through the barrier. What did make it was hot, and sharp, buffeting even Zhou Mi’s heavy body back nearly a foot. Zhou Mi’s snarl made Kyuhyun flinch, and on sturdy tiger legs, Zhou Mi bounded to the barrier, bracing himself, and letting out a roar that reverberated through the forest.
The forest birds quieted. Frogs stopped croaking. Even the air itself seemed to stop moving at the force of that one, climactic sound.
The death bird reeled and ceased its chatter, before it flew away, screaming.
Zhou Mi returned to him, crouching near and making quiet sounds. The barest tip of rough tongue touched Kyuhyun’s shoulder before the tiger seemed to shrug, the skin sliding back and Zhou Mi’s head emerged from beneath it.
“Kui Xian...”
Kyuhyun cried out in pain again as Zhou Mi stood, pulling him to his feet for a swift moment before hoisting Kyuhyun onto his back. He held tight around Zhou Mi’s neck, reaching for the amulet there and being warmed by it. He knew without asking or wondering that Zhou Mi’s goal was to get them out of the sight of the birds, of the dead ground. Back into the healing forest.
As Zhou Mi set him carefully down on the edge of an old stump, he turned, reaching for Kyuhyun’s face.
“You’re hurt!” Kyuhyun exclaimed. Zhou Mi’s fingers, where they had crossed the boundary to reach for his hands, were red, and raw. Zhou Mi’s face was a mask of relief and concentration as Kyuhyun took his fingers gently into his mouth. He did not know why he thought that it would help, but somehow he did as he probed the injured skin, gently, so gently.
Zhou Mi’s eyes were sad as he met Kyuhyun’s, tracing Kyuhyun’s cheek with his opposite hand. He breathed in sharply.
“My world is dying,” Zhou Mi’s thoughts filtered through to him. “I never wanted you to see that place, see its pain. Only to see what is beautiful... You deserve all that is beautiful.”
Zhou Mi’s fingers emerged from his mouth, whole and healthy. Not a trace of injury on them. Kyuhyun drew a shaky breath.
“Zhou Mi, do you understand me?” Kyuhyun ventured, thinking hard.
Zhou Mi visibly started, staring up at Kyuhyun with wide eyes, Kyuhyun’s injured hands still halfway to his mouth.
“Kui Xian... You can understand my thoughts?”
Kyuhyun nodded, biting his lip.
“Oh, Kui Xian...” Both of Zhou Mi’s hands went to Kyuhyun’s face. “Kui Xian, I dreamed of this. There’s so much I want to tell you, so much you should know...” He sobered from his excitement. “But it’s your pain that allows this connection.”
Zhou Mi dropped his hands, returning to caring for Kyuhyun’s hands and arms.
“You don’t feel this pain, do you?” Kyuhyun wondered.
“Yes, I do,” Zhou Mi informed him. “The longer you are with me, the more I feel... I feel this. So much blood. I’m so sorry...”
“That bird... It was the one that called me? Why...why did it call me?”
“Because you are here for me... Because they can smell me on you, they can feel you in me. They would do anything to split us, to destroy me. It is because of those birds that the wasteland you saw exists. I brought us too close. I shouldn’t have left you alone. This is my fault.”
Kyuhyun let his fingers slide into Zhou Mi’s hair as he gently pressed his mouth to the burns and wounds on Kyuhyun’s shins.
“You saved me...”
“No,” Zhou Mi told him “You saved me...”
Kyuhyun didn’t have the ability to question what Zhou Mi meant, whimpering as his wounded feet were cared for. There were still marks along his shins, his arms, pink and angry, not healed as Zhou Mi’s wounds had been. But they were not bleeding, and much less painful.
Zhou Mi made a frustrated sound, moving up Kyuhyun’s body.
“I cannot do more like this... I must... I must join with you for you to heal fully. You are too injured.”
“I would enjoy that,” Kyuhyun thought a little shyly.
“Kui Xian...”
Zhou Mi pulled him close, letting him lay back on the earth.
“The tiger skin...” For the first time, Kyuhyun realized the pelt was not with them.
“It is safe.”
Zhou Mi began to press his lips down Kyuhyun’s neck as the cloth covering them was discarded.
“You taught me this. This press of lips...”
“That’s called kissing...” Kyuhyun told him.
“I never knew, until you. I could have lost you...”
Kyuhyun inhaled as Zhou Mi, as he had intended, joined with him.
“Why am I here...” Kyuhyun wondered, his hands resting on Zhou Mi’s neck.
“Your pain brings me great sorrow, and your pleasure, the greatest joy... You are my mate, and I will care for you, as I can for none other. For me, there is only you. The life I live, it is nothing to you, the want of you, the joy in you...”
A pleasurable chill went through him at the use of the word “mate.” It echoed through him. Echoed as he scraped his fingers though Zhou Mi’s hair, as they moaned into each other’s necks.
“Please, please...” Kyuhyun pleaded, and realized he had spoken aloud.
Zhou Mi’s weight shifted and they made identical sounds.
“Why,” Kyuhyun wondered as the pleasure began to build, “why have I never felt like this before...never felt pleasure like this before.”
“We are mated. Your pleasure in me, my pleasure in you, we share it. We feel it, together. We are one...”
He gasped, feeling Zhou Mi begin to quicken.
“To my very soul, I feel your pleasure, Kui Xian. I give you back all of mine, that you might find the same...”
Zhou Mi’s head dropped, their noses brushing, eyes meeting. Their lips were so close, close enough to feel their gusting breath. He longed to lift his head, feel the press of their mouths together, to where even the thought of doing so had his eyes rolling back...
The maelstrom of pleasure reached its peak, and his low cry was joined as Zhou Mi buried his face in Kyuhyun’s neck and willingly followed after.
***
Kyuhyun tested his arms, his legs as they lay together, and felt no pain. He grinned, turning toward Zhou Mi.
“It worked!” he thought jubilantly, meeting the dark eyes.
It was then he realized that Zhou Mi’s eyes were slightly sad, his hand gently stroking Kyuhyun’s hip.
“You can’t understand me any more,” Kyuhyun said out loud, reaching for Zhou Mi’s face. Zhou Mi cuddled his hand first. “I want to know more! What do you mean that I saved you? What did you mean about...”
Zhou Mi silenced him, pulling him close.
“Kui Xian...” Zhou Mi murmured. “Kui Xian.”
Kyuhyun could feel Zhou Mi’s mouth working, as though he were trying to form just another word. Lips were pressed to Kyuhyun’s cheek.
“K-kiss?” Zhou Mi said hesitantly.
Kyuhyun was sure he was gaping. “Kiss!” he said, vigorously nodding. “Kiss.”
And proceeded to demonstrate that across Zhou Mi’s cheekbones, until they were both laughing. He felt the warmth of the smile in Zhou Mi’s eyes straight to the tips of his fingers. To see that happiness
Anything was possible, having been allowed that tiny peek into Zhou Mi’s mind. They were connected in the most intimate way, he realized, as he toyed with the bottom of Zhou Mi’s amulet pouch. He had not been drugged when he arrived, but... But what? Completed? He had always felt a connection to Zhou Mi, but it was different now. Different in the way he saw the bright smile, or felt his touch. It wasn’t enough to see and touch, he wanted to know... Know all of those secrets Zhou Mi wished to tell him. Just to see himself as Zhou Mi saw him..
He traced a hand down his healed arm as Zhou Mi stood, and realized that it had been raining on them for the last several minutes.
Are you thirsty? Zhou Mi seemed to be asking, bringing his hands to his mouth, and pointing up from where the pure water fell. He nodded his assent, prepared to tip back his head, when Zhou Mi made a sound of amusement.
He fell in love as quietly as the spring rain, as Zhou Mi smiled and lifted a hand to catch it for him.
***