Day so Far as if it were an Interactive Fiction Game, only more Boring.
0500. Your alarm is going off.
> wake up
You crawl out of bed. You are standing in your bedroom. Nate is
here (sleeping).
> grumble
You express your displeasure with the hour.
> go to front room
You exit, stumbling on something on the way out since it's dark and
the lights aren't on.
> get dressed
You put on the clothes you left in this room to avoid waking Nate.
> go to computer room, check campus announcements on computer
Class is still on for you.
> get keys, get bag, e, get shovel, open door, e, close door, lock door.
Which key do you want to use to lock door?
> shady replacement key
Door locked.
> d, d, d, n, w
You are at your car.
> unlock car with car key, put bag in back, enter car.
done.
> start car, put radio on.
Done.
> time
5:40. The Jetta does not specify AM or PM but you damn well know
what time it is.
> drive to campus
The roads are suprisingly clear.
> z, z, z, z, z
You are at the Merge.
> put CD in player.
You tire of the morning DJ. Pop-punk wafts out of the Jetta's
speakers.
> z, z, z, z
You are at campus.
> time
6:30. The Jetta does not specify AM or PM but you damn well know what
time it is.
> park in A lot.
There are three cars and snow here.
> park car
You're sticking out an awful lot.
> turn off car, get shovel from trunk, shovel out space.
You shovel out another two feet of parking space. Your car will now fit
in the space.
> open car, put shovel in car, get in car, turn on car, move car two feet
further into space.
Done.
> turn off car. hide stereo in glove compartment.
Done.
> walk up the hill
Walking.
> look behind me
You see Doug. Doug waves.
> wave back
You wave.
> walk
You walk to the gymnasium.
> d
You go downstairs to the room where you think the clinical study is meeting.
You see people who look vaguely familiar.
> w
Jakob comes by.
> drop all
You drop: your bag
> remove coat and boots.
You put your coat on the coatrack and your boots on the floor. Muddy. Ew.
> put on sneakers
You put on your sneakers. They smell like incense since they were kept in
an old trunk with, well, incense.
> follow everyone
You follow everyone else. You get weighed (again, goddamn it) and go
through several exercises elaborately described by Jakob in his indeterminable
accent. The other groups get trainers that don't go into excessive detail.
> nod
You nod along in agreement to everything Jakob says.
> exercise
Done.
> g, g, g, g, g.
Done.
> follow everyone
You walk over to the track. There are dire warnings here.
> read dire warnings
The athletes get precedece over God to use the track.
> walk fast
You walk fast.
> jog
You attempt to jog but your ankle reminds you of how you almost broke it on
Mt Washington and how you sprained it twice more after that, not to mention the
four times before that.
> walk fast
That's better. We'll stick with walking fast.
> time
The clock here says 8:30.
You are stinky.
> follow everyone
You follow everyone back.
> get bag and coat
Taken.
> wait
Jakob hands you a bottle of suspicious pills.
> take bottle
Taken.
> put bottle in bag.
Done. Your bag is slightly more bulky.
> find locker room
There is a schedule here.
> read schedule
Alternate Thursdays you need to be out of here by 4pm. Not something that
concerns you.
> enter
You are in a maze of twisty passages, all alike.
> l, r, l
There is Another Study Member here. There are showers here.
> time
There is no clock here.
> ask Study Member for time.
She does not know the time.
> remove real clothes and towel from bag.
Done.
> drop all, remove shoes.
Done.
> get towel.
Wise idea.
> enter shower, get undressed, take shower, get dressed.
An elaborate combination of balancing, finding dry places to put your
clothes, and trying not to get your hair wet.
You are no longer stinky.
> repack gym clothes, shove gym clothes in bag, wear coat, wear Jayne hat.
Get all.
Done. Your bag is slightly less bulky. Done.
> r, r, l
You are among lockers.
> r, l, l
You are at the door.
> u
You exit the gym.
> n
You have no idea where north is.
> exits
The co-op is to your right, the path is to your left, the library is in
front of you, and the gym is behind you. You have no idea where north is.
> library
You walk to the library cafe.
> get yogurt.
There is no yogurt here.
> fuck
At least say it quietly.
> x shelves
Fruit salad, muffins. Lunch is not out yet and breakfast has been picked
clean.
> remember bagel
Right, there are bagels behind the counter.
> wait
The line gets longer behind you and shorter in front of you.
> order bagel and iced coffee.
What kind of bagel?
> read list
Something, something, cinnamon raisin, everything, something, blueberry (is
it crossed out?), something.
> order cinnamon raisin bagel with light cream cheese and iced coffee.
$3.60
> get ID
You do not see your ID in your wallet.
> x wallet
A hundred supermarket cards, your license, a credit card, reciepts from
last month, $10.
> pay with $10
Done. You get change.
> Put change in wallet.
You put the change in your wallet. Hey, there's your ID!
> swear, take bagel.
You swear internally. Taken.
> wait
Your coffee does not appear.
> wait
Your coffee does not appear.
> wonder why a cup with ice takes so long.
Done. A cup of ice appears.
> take cup of ice.
Taken.
> prepare iced coffee.
An elaborate ritual, especially with your bag.
> prepare bagel
You have no hands free.
> put bag at nearby table.
Pretending the kid studying French isn't there; bag dropped.
> prepare bagel
Another elaborate ritual.
> take bagel
Taken.
> look for empty table.
You see none.
> get bag.
Your bag feels bulky. You are carrying a bagel, an iced coffee, and
a bag.
> exit
Towards library or towards expanse of snow?
> library
You walk that way. Hey, an empty table!
> detour to table.
It's huge.
> drop all, remove coat, eat table.
You cannot eat that.
> eat bagel.
Done.
> time
You see a clock here: 9:35
> set watch
You set your analog 24 hour watch to the time the clock on the wall says.
You hope it's right. (Time will now be displayed for you.)
You are done eating.
> finish coffee
All the Splenda has sunk to the bottom. Ew.
> get all, wear all, exit.
Towards library or towards expanse of snow?
> library
You are at the front of library. Possible directions are towards abandoned
pharmacy building in front of you, gym to the left, and Beach on the right.
> Beach.
Beach is not really a beach. You are at the base of Beach Hall.
> take elevator
You may only take the elevator if you have your cell phone. Do you have your
cell phone? (y/n)
> i
You are carrying an ALICE pack. You are wearing your normal clothes, boots,
your trench coat, and your Jayne hat. In the pack is:
folders of quizzes (4)
sneakers
gym clothes
markers
bag of personal stuff
wallet
cell phone
pen
other pen
chalk
marker
bag detritus
Do you have your cell phone? (y/n)
> y
You push the button for the elevator.
> z, z, z, z.
You wait for the elevator.
> z
The elevator opens.
> enter elevator, push 4
Nothing happens.
> push 4
The 4 button lights up and the doors eventually close.
> z
The elevator thinks about moving.
> z
Gnomes begin to stoke the fires to start the elevator.
> z
The elevator might begin to rise.
> z, z, z, z, z, z, z, z
The elevator might be moving.
> check indicator panel
Wires hang out of where the floor indicator panel would be on a normal elevator.
> read inspection notice
Someone decided the public can still ride in this elevator until 7/16/2006.
The elevator might be moving.
> z, z, z
The elevator opens, and then comes level with the fourth floor.
> exit
Quickly.
> check for Dan
You do not immediately see Dan.
> exits
Towards your office or towards the computer lab.
> office
You get to your office.
> unlock office with first key
It works.
> drop bag
Done.
> get folders of quizzes
Taken.
> exit office, close door.
You are in the office end of the hallway.
> go to Doug's office.
You go about halfway down the hallway to Doug's office. The door is open.
You see Doug talking to someone.
> look inside Doug's office.
Randy is in there, talking to Doug.
> wait
You overhear bits of conversation. It sounds like someone wrote something
nasty on a discussion activity worksheet to Randy. This is probably because
Randy is boring and has no personal skills.
> enter office, sit down.
You sit in one of the unoccupied chairs. Randy leaves.
> give quizzes to Doug.
Doug files your old quizzes away. You talk about computer systems.
Phil enters.
> greet Phil.
You nod. Phil starts coughing.
> wait
Sarah and Randy enter. Doug mentions how you got here before him. Things are
handed out. You and Phil have to go to the physics building.
> leave, go to my office, unlock door, enter office, get phone, get wallet, exit
office, close door.
Done. Phil is here with a stack of papers.
> i
You are wearing your normal clothes, boots, your trench coat, and your Jayne hat.
In your trenchcoat are your phone and your wallet.
Phil is here with a stack of papers.
> go to Tracey's office.
Tracey is here, being the best secretary the department has had. Penn is
endangering that though.
> ask for pencils
Tracey gives you a box of golf pencils.
> thank Tracey
Done.
> put pencils on stack of papers.
Phil is now carrying a stack of papers and a box of golf pencils.
> exit down stairs
You go down the stairs to the ground level.
> exits
You can go forward to Wilbur Cross, Over There to CLAS, or Yonder towards
Montieth.
> Over There.
You are in front of CLAS. Phil is here with a stack of papers and a box of
golf pencils. You can go towards Chem or down.
> Towards chem
Done.
Phil is here with a stack of papers and a box of golf pencils.
Phil says, "I think we can go this way."
> follow Phil
You follow Phil.
> g
You follow Phil.
You are at the Sciences building.
> enter
Phil says, "I think the entrance is around the side."
> go around the side
There is construction fencing here and two entrances, an upper and a lower.
> go in lower entrance
OK.
You are inside the math/physics intersection. You can go towards the doors
marked P or the doors marked M.
> P
You are in front of Physics 36. Someone is teaching in there. There is a
trash bin here.
> wait
The trash is stinky.
> move away from trash.
The trash is really stinky.
> ignore trash.
Doing the best we can. Phil says it is only 10:30. Tim is here.
> look inside room 36.
You see stairs and a professor and a bored student and another door at the
lower level of the classroom.
> look for other door.
You wander around but find nothing.
> go back
You are in front of Physics 36. Someone is teaching in there. There is a
trash bin here.
Phil is here. A box of papers is here. A box of golf pencils is here.
> talk
What do you want to talk about?
> languages
Phil knows more languages than you, but most of it is reading, so that's
okay. Anyway, Middle Egyptian isn't that useful.
The class begins to empty.
> enter room
The professor is still at the front desk.
> wait
Waiting. The professor is still at the front desk.
> go to front desk
The professor asks you if you need the room.
> yes
He says you can set up behind him.
> set up
The computer doesn't like the file Doug sent you with. Goddamn Powerpoint.
> do computer magic
This is why Doug sent you with Phil. Phil roasts computers; you manage to
make the goddamn powerpoint work.
> wait
A bunch of physics students think they have an exam in here. Phil turns them
away.
> put up first page of powerpoint
The first page tells students to do certain things that none of them have done.
> announce items on first page of powerpoint
The students grudgingly put their bags up at the front of the room and turn
around their hats. The students grumble.
> hand out bubblesheets
Phil is handing out bubblesheets; you can't do anything right now.
> wait
A student comes up to you. Goddamn students. You were supposed to have a
quiz ready for her. You got the quiz topics half an hour ago and do not have
one prepared for her.
> write out quiz in longhand for student
Done. Goddamn students.
Most of the students are here.
> announce how to fill in the sheet
About 80% pay attention to you.
> wait
A few more trickle in. It is 10:02.
> pass out exam
You and Phil split the exams and begin to pass them out. There are 5 versions,
all color coded for ease of watching cheaters.
> announce not to begin
You hear grumbling.
> announce how to fill in the sheet
About 80% pay attention to you.
> begin exam
A hush and a susurration of paper and #2 pencil.
> put clock on display
It takes a minute, but you find a big clock website and display the time as a
big clock on the projector. Phil patrols the aisles.
> watch students from front.
OK. Phil patrols the aisles.
> g
OK. Phil patrols the aisles.
> g, g, g, g, g
OK. Phil patrols the aisles.
> patrol the aisles
That girl in the back looks suspcious, but she's just sitting funny.
A girl hands an exam to Phil
> stand in front
OK. Phil patrols the aisles.
> wait
A few more exams.
> wait, wait, wait.
A bunch more.
> check exams for being filled out correctly.
So far so good.
> wait
Phil announces there are 10 minutes left.
A student complains we started 10 minutes late.
> ignore student
OK. Phil is collecting exams here.
> wait
OK. Phil is collecting exams here.
> collect exams and check them
You find a few people who don't know your name or their section number or
how to fill in the damn sheet correctly. You correct them.
> wait
The physics students who have an exam after this begin peering in the doors.
> wait
The last student finally leaves as the physics professor is setting up his exam.
> get all
Phil takes the exams before you can.
> exit
You are in front of Physics 36. There is a trash bin here.
Phil is here. A box of completed exams is here. A box of golf pencils is here.
> follow Phil
Phil claims to know a shortcut.
> follow Phil anyway.
OK
> talk
Phil begins talking about organs.
> talk about organs
You have more organs than Phil. Who needs a second kidney anyway? Or a
diaphragm? Or all your lung?
Phil is giving you Too Much Information again.
> accept it
You didn't have a choice.
Phil suggests the elevator.
> take the elevator
You may only take the elevator if you have your cell phone. Do you have
your cell phone? (y/n)
> y
OK. You are upstairs in Beach Hall.
> go to Doug's office
OK. Phil gives Doug the exams.
Phil leaves for class.
> ask Doug if anything needs to be done.
Nope.
> go to computer lab
OK
> check e-mail, e-mail, livejournal, e-mail.
Nothing exciting.
> go to your office
It is locked.
> unlock office, enter office
Your bag is here. Your books and your old bag is here on the shelf.
> take bag and old bag
Taken.
> exit, close door, exit towards hill.
Done. You are standing on the hill.
> down to A lot.
There are more cars here. The annoying pro-life one you spit at is not
here. Doug's truck is here, next to your car in spot #5.
> read bumperstickers on doug's truck
Generic left-wing. While you agree with them, you'd never put something
so bland on your Jetta.
> enter car
You are still carrying your old bag and your bag.
> put bag and old bag in back of car
Done.
> enter car, get stereo.
OK
> change CDs
OK. You remove the mix CD and put in the Alkaline Trio CD.
> seatbelt, drive home
OK. Driving.
> sing
You sing badly but you know most of the words, so bonus points there.
> drive and sing.
This is what you usually do.
...
You are at exit 25.
> merge left
Done.
> get off exit 24.
Ah, groceries, the diner, and the Indian place. You need eggs and bread.
> park at stop and shop.
Eventually done. Ooh, a pull-through spot.
> pull through, turn off car, remove stereo, exit car, lock car.
Done!
> do not get hit by car
Done. Whew.
> take small basket
Like that'll stop you.
> check price of fish
Not worth it.
> do rest of shopping
Done.
> self-checkout
Did you buy anything weird that can't be self-checkout-ed? (y/n)
> i
You are wearing your normal clothes, boots, your trench coat, and your
Jayne hat. In your trenchcoat are your phone and your wallet and your keys.
You are carrying a carton of eggs. In your small basket is:
bread (on sale)
frozen dinners (3) (on sale)
can of nuts
ground turkey (2) (on sale)
rough cut oatmeal (on sale)
fake eggs (on sale)
coupon for frozen dinners
Did you buy anything weird that can't be self-checkout-ed? (y/n)
> n
OK. You self-checkout. It does not take your coupon. Ring for help? (y/n)
> n
Not worth it. Your coupons from the checkout include the same coupon it
wouldn't take.
> marvel at the irony
OK.
> go to car, unlock car, put groceries in passenger seat, get in car, put
in stereo, turn on car, leave parking lot.
Done.
> decide to stop at comic book store
Which comic book store, the one by the bank or the good one?
> the good one
OK.
> exit car, lock car, enter store
This is a real comic book store, unlike the one by the bank that is mostly
Yu-Gi-Oh cards and Red Sox memorabilia and demeaning clerks in their late 20s.
Old Stoner is here, talking on the phone.
> examine trade paperback rack.
A few titles look promising. You own one of these.
Old Stoner is here, talking on the phone.
> wander around aisles
A whole bunch, seemingly arranged alphabetically by title and separated
into DC vs Marvel on each side. The independents are hiding, but might
be by the trade paperbacks.
Old Stoner is here, talking on the phone.
> examine table
These seem to be new arrivals. Ooh, Goon #15.
Old Stoner is here, talking on the phone.
> pick up Goon #15.
Done.
Old Stoner is here, talking on the phone.
> wait
Old Stoner is here.
> go to front, drop comic.
Old Stoner tells you the Goon trade paperback was bought by someone else
between now and 3 weeks ago when you last came in. He tells you this time
'next Wednesday.'
Old Stoner rings up your comic twice and shakes his head and tells you $3.21.
> x wallet
Your wallet contains, among other things, a $5 and a $1 and some coins.
> give old stoner $5.25
OK. You get 2.05 back.
> thank old stoner
OK. He reminds you to come back next Wednesday.
> take comic
OK.
> exit store, unlock car, enter car, turn on car, drive home
OK.
...
You are home.
> park in my spot and take stereo off and exit car
OK.
> get all except bag and old bag
groceries: taken
comic: taken
> exit car and lock car
Done. You are outside your apartment building
> enter lobby and get mail.
You have no free hands.
> drop groceries
OK.
> get mail
There is something for Nate and a card for you mailed from Rocky Hill.
> open card
The historical society misses you.
> feel guilty
Thank you Catholic guilt, the gift that keeps on giving even when you're
16 years past being Catholic.
> get all and go upstairs and unlock door and enter apartment
Done.
> drop all
Done.
> lock door
Done. You wouldn't have done this until yesterday when your goddamn neighbor
acted childish at you. Now you don't trust any of your neighbors.
> drop all and remove boots
Whew.
> put away perishables
eggs: in fridge
fake eggs: in fridge
frozen dinners (3): in freezer
There is no more room in the freezer.
> get frozen dinner out of freezer, put one turkey in freezer
Done.
> put one turkey in fridge, put frozen dinner on counter
Having chili tonight we see.
> y
You don't have to tell me yet.
> make frozen dinner
You have to take your magic pills with this meal.
> put on sneakers, unlock door, exit, lock door, go to car, unlock car, get
pills from bag, lock car, u, unlock door, enter apartment, lock door
Done.
> take magic pill
With 8 oz water.
> pour big glass of water
A little more than 12 oz. That's fine.
> take magic pill
Disgusting. Moreso now that you know what's in them.
> make frozen dinner and read comic
Much better. The frozen dinner is perfectly acceptable. The comic involves
zombies and is amusing.
> update livejournal
This takes FAR LONGER than you PLANNED
because you HAD TO BE WITTY AND DO IT IF STYLE.