I agree that a heads-up would have been nice...but like you said, this was a lunch with a co-worker. Unfortunately, sometimes work responsibilities are going to interfere with these types of plans. Also, if your reminder was in email form, it's possible your co-worker gets inundated with so many emails on a day-to-day basis (I know I do) that he/she has trouble keeping up with them all in a timely manner.
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