Confusion
"Confusion"
Who: Myron Wagtail, Kingsley Shacklebolt, and Gideon Prewett
What: Morning confusion
Rating: None (G)
Note: Originally written for ceria_taliesin's birthday, but it could also fit the prompt "friends" for Myron's fanfic100. ^_^
Word Count: 571
Myron slowly opened his eyes, the wonderful smells emanating from the kitchen doing their job of waking him. He glanced at the mantle clock - ten thirty-two, it informed him - before rolling off the couch and lazily making his way into the kitchen. "Mornin', Gideon. Mornin', Kin'sley," he sleepily greeted.
"Good morning, Myron!" Kingsley responded, far too energetic for the hour, if Myron did say so himself. "Make yourself comfortable. Food'll be ready in a minute - I'm just trying this new omelette recipe."
"If the smell's anything to go by, it's going to be wonderful," Gideon remarked from his seat at the table, and Kingsley beamed at him.
"Yeah, it - Kin'sley!" Myron exclaimed in surprise. "Wot're you doin' here?!"
Kingsley and Gideon exchanged a look of confusion before Gideon slowly pointed out, "This is our place, Myron. We've lived here for... how many years now, Imp?"
"Three, at least," Kingsley replied.
"But..." Myron frowned. "What about the snake an' the bird you've been shaggin'?"
"You're shagging a girl and didn't tell me?" Kingsley demanded, one hand on his hip and the other waving the spatula at Gideon. "All these years of asking for a threesome and -"
"Wot - no no no, you're the one shaggin' a bird! And he's shaggin' he-who-must-not-be-named!"
"I'm shagging You-Know-Who?!" Gideon asked, startled, and Kingsley almost upset his ingredients laughing.
"Let me guess - the girl I'm shagging, would she happen to be Bellatrix Lestrange?" Kingsley asked, snickering.
"Oh, please don't say things like that!" Gideon protested. "It's entirely too early for that mental picture!"
"It's always too early for that mental picture!" Kingsley laughed.
"Well, you're the one who -"
"'M BEIN' SERIOUS!" Myron yelled, frustrated.
Kingsley and Gideon exchanged another look, and Kingsley stepped over to Myron, putting a hand to his forehead as he asked, "Are you sure you're feeling okay?"
"'M fine!" Myron replied huffily. "'m just confused as t' why I fell asleep after havin' helped him," he pointed at Gideon, "drown his sorrows over you," he pointed at Kingsley, "'cos you're gettin' married t'day t' some... auror bird, I think he is, an' his boyfriend had some... thin'... at the bloody school an' couldn't get away, so he called me up an' -"
"Wait, Gideon is dating the Snake?!" Kingsley demanded, rounding on Gideon.
"Of course I'm not," Gideon replied, rolling his eyes. "Come on, Imp! You know I wouldn't -"
"He would," Kingsley said, stubbornly crossing his arms.
"Oh for - and you're getting married today?" Gideon shook his head. "Listen to what he's saying! I mean, no offence, but doesn't all this sound a bit more like another case of too much alcohol and not enough sleep which resulted in a very strange dream -"
"Nightmare," Kingsley grumbled.
"Nightmare," Gideon agreed. "Which, when coupled with Myron's usual tendency towards exaggeration -"
"I do not -" Myron started to protest, but Gideon just kept on.
"- resulted in a bit of morning-after confusion?"
"So you're not shagging the Snake?" Kingsley asked, still somewhat sceptical.
"I'm not shagging Severus," Gideon promised.
"Good," Kingsley grinned.
"Er, Kin'sley..." Myron tapped him on the arm, trying to get his attention.
"Don't worry about it, Myron," Kingsley said, patting him on the shoulder. "We all have really realistic, really strange dreams from time to time and -"
"No, 's just... your eggs're on fire," Myron gestured towards the smoking stove.
"SHIT!"
Myron's LDT
Who: Myron Wagtail, Kingsley Shacklebolt, and Gideon Prewett
What: Morning confusion
Rating: None (G)
Note: Originally written for ceria_taliesin's birthday, but it could also fit the prompt "friends" for Myron's fanfic100. ^_^
Word Count: 571
Myron slowly opened his eyes, the wonderful smells emanating from the kitchen doing their job of waking him. He glanced at the mantle clock - ten thirty-two, it informed him - before rolling off the couch and lazily making his way into the kitchen. "Mornin', Gideon. Mornin', Kin'sley," he sleepily greeted.
"Good morning, Myron!" Kingsley responded, far too energetic for the hour, if Myron did say so himself. "Make yourself comfortable. Food'll be ready in a minute - I'm just trying this new omelette recipe."
"If the smell's anything to go by, it's going to be wonderful," Gideon remarked from his seat at the table, and Kingsley beamed at him.
"Yeah, it - Kin'sley!" Myron exclaimed in surprise. "Wot're you doin' here?!"
Kingsley and Gideon exchanged a look of confusion before Gideon slowly pointed out, "This is our place, Myron. We've lived here for... how many years now, Imp?"
"Three, at least," Kingsley replied.
"But..." Myron frowned. "What about the snake an' the bird you've been shaggin'?"
"You're shagging a girl and didn't tell me?" Kingsley demanded, one hand on his hip and the other waving the spatula at Gideon. "All these years of asking for a threesome and -"
"Wot - no no no, you're the one shaggin' a bird! And he's shaggin' he-who-must-not-be-named!"
"I'm shagging You-Know-Who?!" Gideon asked, startled, and Kingsley almost upset his ingredients laughing.
"Let me guess - the girl I'm shagging, would she happen to be Bellatrix Lestrange?" Kingsley asked, snickering.
"Oh, please don't say things like that!" Gideon protested. "It's entirely too early for that mental picture!"
"It's always too early for that mental picture!" Kingsley laughed.
"Well, you're the one who -"
"'M BEIN' SERIOUS!" Myron yelled, frustrated.
Kingsley and Gideon exchanged another look, and Kingsley stepped over to Myron, putting a hand to his forehead as he asked, "Are you sure you're feeling okay?"
"'M fine!" Myron replied huffily. "'m just confused as t' why I fell asleep after havin' helped him," he pointed at Gideon, "drown his sorrows over you," he pointed at Kingsley, "'cos you're gettin' married t'day t' some... auror bird, I think he is, an' his boyfriend had some... thin'... at the bloody school an' couldn't get away, so he called me up an' -"
"Wait, Gideon is dating the Snake?!" Kingsley demanded, rounding on Gideon.
"Of course I'm not," Gideon replied, rolling his eyes. "Come on, Imp! You know I wouldn't -"
"He would," Kingsley said, stubbornly crossing his arms.
"Oh for - and you're getting married today?" Gideon shook his head. "Listen to what he's saying! I mean, no offence, but doesn't all this sound a bit more like another case of too much alcohol and not enough sleep which resulted in a very strange dream -"
"Nightmare," Kingsley grumbled.
"Nightmare," Gideon agreed. "Which, when coupled with Myron's usual tendency towards exaggeration -"
"I do not -" Myron started to protest, but Gideon just kept on.
"- resulted in a bit of morning-after confusion?"
"So you're not shagging the Snake?" Kingsley asked, still somewhat sceptical.
"I'm not shagging Severus," Gideon promised.
"Good," Kingsley grinned.
"Er, Kin'sley..." Myron tapped him on the arm, trying to get his attention.
"Don't worry about it, Myron," Kingsley said, patting him on the shoulder. "We all have really realistic, really strange dreams from time to time and -"
"No, 's just... your eggs're on fire," Myron gestured towards the smoking stove.
"SHIT!"
Myron's LDT