[SG fic] Because Michelle asked...
Heh. After that last little fic excursion...more. Silliness that is.
Title: The Incident of the Cheese Toasties in the Night-time
Category: Janet, Jack, humour.
Pairing/spoilers/rating: None, nada. G. ~600 words.
Disclaimer: No profit is being made and no infringement is intended.
A/N: For dm_lunsford.
#56 Eat (Table o' Fic)
~~~~~~~
“Quick! Hand me those.”
“Why?”
“Daniel, just…“
“Jack, I’m-“
“Shh! Can you hear heels?”
“What? No. What are you- oh, no way. No way. Are you insane?!”
“Look, just go stand over there and keep watch will you?”
“I’m outta here.”
“Don’t tell me you’re scared of her?”
“Absolutely. She is going to kill you!”
“She doesn’t need to know.”
“The alarm that is about to go off might be a bit of a give-away…”
“I’ve dealt with that.”
“Bye, Jack. I promise to say nice things at your funeral.”
~~~~~~~~
Janet stretched, then yawned. If she had to sign another form her hand was going to-
She sniffed. Was that…something burning? Surely not. The fire alarm would have gone off.
Maybe it was her imagination. She sniffed again. Nope, definitely something cooking somewhere nearby. She looked around, checking herself, concerned she’d fallen asleep and dropped into a weird dream.
She stood up and made her way towards the door. As she opened it, the smell got stronger. A notion forming in her mind, she headed quietly for the far end of the supposedly empty infirmary. She ripped the curtain back.
“Colonel! What in the name of God are you doing?”
He jumped a clear foot off the ground, somehow managing to turn in the air to land facing her. She was sure the man was part-cat. He stepped slightly to his left to conceal his crime, which was sizzling gently to itself.
“Is that cheese?!?” She was fairly sure her mouth was hanging open. The only piece of equipment that could be behind him was the defibrillator unit. “Oh, you have to be kidding…”
“I can explain.” This ought to be good. He looked for all the world like a naughty schoolboy. If it wouldn’t be risking a court-martial, she’d be tempted to turn him over her knee.
“You’d better just step out the way, Sir. I’m going to find out one way or another…”
Reluctantly he shuffled to the side. Janet surveyed his handiwork.
Cheese toasties. Delightful.
She turned to him. Just when she thought she’d seen everything. “I…have absolutely no idea what to say to you.”
He smiled sheepishly. “They wouldn’t cook.”
Not surprisingly. Only the surface actually in contact with the paddles would be heated. “Let me guess. Only the cheese?”
He shrugged and looked a little forlorn. She bit down hard on her smile. Must. Be. Cross. “This is going to be a total pain to clean up, you know?”
“Sorry,” he said, not looking sorry in the slightest.
She closed her eyes. “Go on. Scat!”
She heard him scrambling to leave and then the smell of grilled cheese lessened. A new voice came from the corridor. “Sir? Wha- Janet? What’s going on?”
“I’ll give you three guesses.”
Sam took in the carnage. “Oh no. I may have had a hand in this.”
Janet nearly cricked her own neck swinging to face Sam. “You what?”
“He came to me earlier asking what I would do if I hypothetically wanted to stop the fire alarm going off,” Sam explained.
“And you told him.”
Sam winced.
“Well at least I know what to get him for Christmas. One of those toastie makers.” Janet brightened. “Not to mention that he’ll be considerably more amenable for the next few days, until he’s sure I’m not going to exact my revenge.”
“You mean you’re not?” Sam looked mildly disappointed.
Janet smiled an evil smile. “Oh no. I’ll just lull him into a false sense of security first. Won’t know what’s hit him…”
~~~~~~~
My Mum is away in France, so tomorrow my Dad, my brother and I are going on a little road trip until Friday. Which is nice. This does depend largely on my brother getting back tonight though, since he's currently somewhere between here and London. Apparently the trains aren't running between somewhere and Rugby. Yey British public transport.
Title: The Incident of the Cheese Toasties in the Night-time
Category: Janet, Jack, humour.
Pairing/spoilers/rating: None, nada. G. ~600 words.
Disclaimer: No profit is being made and no infringement is intended.
A/N: For dm_lunsford.
#56 Eat (Table o' Fic)
~~~~~~~
“Quick! Hand me those.”
“Why?”
“Daniel, just…“
“Jack, I’m-“
“Shh! Can you hear heels?”
“What? No. What are you- oh, no way. No way. Are you insane?!”
“Look, just go stand over there and keep watch will you?”
“I’m outta here.”
“Don’t tell me you’re scared of her?”
“Absolutely. She is going to kill you!”
“She doesn’t need to know.”
“The alarm that is about to go off might be a bit of a give-away…”
“I’ve dealt with that.”
“Bye, Jack. I promise to say nice things at your funeral.”
~~~~~~~~
Janet stretched, then yawned. If she had to sign another form her hand was going to-
She sniffed. Was that…something burning? Surely not. The fire alarm would have gone off.
Maybe it was her imagination. She sniffed again. Nope, definitely something cooking somewhere nearby. She looked around, checking herself, concerned she’d fallen asleep and dropped into a weird dream.
She stood up and made her way towards the door. As she opened it, the smell got stronger. A notion forming in her mind, she headed quietly for the far end of the supposedly empty infirmary. She ripped the curtain back.
“Colonel! What in the name of God are you doing?”
He jumped a clear foot off the ground, somehow managing to turn in the air to land facing her. She was sure the man was part-cat. He stepped slightly to his left to conceal his crime, which was sizzling gently to itself.
“Is that cheese?!?” She was fairly sure her mouth was hanging open. The only piece of equipment that could be behind him was the defibrillator unit. “Oh, you have to be kidding…”
“I can explain.” This ought to be good. He looked for all the world like a naughty schoolboy. If it wouldn’t be risking a court-martial, she’d be tempted to turn him over her knee.
“You’d better just step out the way, Sir. I’m going to find out one way or another…”
Reluctantly he shuffled to the side. Janet surveyed his handiwork.
Cheese toasties. Delightful.
She turned to him. Just when she thought she’d seen everything. “I…have absolutely no idea what to say to you.”
He smiled sheepishly. “They wouldn’t cook.”
Not surprisingly. Only the surface actually in contact with the paddles would be heated. “Let me guess. Only the cheese?”
He shrugged and looked a little forlorn. She bit down hard on her smile. Must. Be. Cross. “This is going to be a total pain to clean up, you know?”
“Sorry,” he said, not looking sorry in the slightest.
She closed her eyes. “Go on. Scat!”
She heard him scrambling to leave and then the smell of grilled cheese lessened. A new voice came from the corridor. “Sir? Wha- Janet? What’s going on?”
“I’ll give you three guesses.”
Sam took in the carnage. “Oh no. I may have had a hand in this.”
Janet nearly cricked her own neck swinging to face Sam. “You what?”
“He came to me earlier asking what I would do if I hypothetically wanted to stop the fire alarm going off,” Sam explained.
“And you told him.”
Sam winced.
“Well at least I know what to get him for Christmas. One of those toastie makers.” Janet brightened. “Not to mention that he’ll be considerably more amenable for the next few days, until he’s sure I’m not going to exact my revenge.”
“You mean you’re not?” Sam looked mildly disappointed.
Janet smiled an evil smile. “Oh no. I’ll just lull him into a false sense of security first. Won’t know what’s hit him…”
~~~~~~~
My Mum is away in France, so tomorrow my Dad, my brother and I are going on a little road trip until Friday. Which is nice. This does depend largely on my brother getting back tonight though, since he's currently somewhere between here and London. Apparently the trains aren't running between somewhere and Rugby. Yey British public transport.