Four Times Madeline and Paul Went to War

[clueless_02]

So here is the promised fic. I'm happy with some of parts of this and unhappy with others. Most of the fic could be expanded upon, but for now, I'm just glad to have some of this plot bunny on paper.

Oh, yeah, I'm afraid that some of the fic could be classified as a little cheesetastic, but since TR is known for its cheesy qualities it shouldn't

Comments

[madamedarque]

This is really, really good! Not cheesy at all. I've commented before on how perfectly you write Madeline--but I like your Paul in this too. You make him as gloriously arrogant and obsessive as he was on the show. I especially enjoyed the glimpse into the pre-canon of their relationship, and how you then traced us through the events of S4, and after that on to two equally plausible ways things could have gone had they truly "gone to war."

Your writing is really nice; one line that stood out for me was this: "He knows that if the choice came down to her or Section, she would win. He isn’t sure that she would make the same choice, but strangely, that does not bother him." That read *so* true to me. Also, your final image is really poignant--I like the idea that neither of them could bring themselves to kill the other, but they couldn't back down either. And so that really is the only logical conclusion...

Anyway, great job! I feel so happy thinking I sort of inspired this. :)

[clueless_02]

Aw, thank you for such a great comment and really it was your idea so all I had to do was not screw it up.

I do think the beginning was a little cheesy. I have a hard time forming an opinion about pre-canon TR so I don't know what they would do or say. And maybe Madeline comes off as a little melodramatic... I don't know, though, you are always more critical of your own writing than of others.

Anyways, I'm really glad that you enjoyed it and I'm anxiously awaiting your fic!!!!

[madamedarque]

Oh, actually the pre-canon bits were my favorite part! LOL. I love Madeline/Operations backstory. And I don't think Madeline came off melodramatic at all--she seemed perfectly herself.

I'm working on my fic...right now it's developing into a "day in the life" set during the early years of Paul's command. I'm glad you're looking forward to it. *g* Hopefully, I won't disappoint!

[clueless_02]

'A day in the life,' sounds pretty awesome and I'm sure that you will do an excellent job.

[jaybee65]

I don't think this is cheesy or melodramatic! In fact, it's got a really nice balance of emotions. You hint at a broader backstory but leave the details ambiguous, and that gives things just enough mystery! Once again, you really have brought these two to life!

[clueless_02]

As always, thank you so much for the awesome comment.

I still want to go back through the story and make her less ... I don't know. I have like three versions of Madeline going on, the one I saw in the show, the one I have in my head, and the one that I want her to be. Sometimes, I think that the one that I want her to be is too emotional; but then I counter that argument with the way Madeline acted in 'He Came from Four' and 'Slipping into Darkness' when Paul's life was in danger. So in the end, I'm all kinds of confused.

Once again, you really have brought these two to life!

Yeah, just to torture them and myself. :)

[daybreak777]

Quick foray in just to say, wow! Great story.

She will become Section.
This reminds me of Elizabeth in the movie becoming England. No leader who gives that much ever really . . . lives again.

I also liked how you brought it back to the doll. In this story I see Madeline struggling with herself. The same self that wanted the doll as a child, the same self that wants to win. 'Cept there is no winner. But they are still together. I'll have to think more on the story to see what that means to her. Ooh, it reminds me of Dangerous Liasons too. Two people who can't really let go.

Totally interesting and not cheesy. Will be back next week to talk more about it!

[madamedarque]

Butting in to say you just referenced my two favorite things in the world in one comment: Elizabeth I and the movie Dangerous Liasons. You win the internet. ;)

Okay, random cage match: Elizabeth vs. the Marquise. Who wins?

[daybreak777]

Heck, if I wasn't on vacation with limited internet access I could write a full essay on Valmont/Marquise compared to Paul/Madeline. That would be fun. :-) Heck, that might be a good thing to do on the plane.

I just saw Elizabeth for the first time a few months ago. Madeline so reminded me of her in this story.

Elizabeth, the Marquise, Madeline, Patty Hewes, dude, I think they ALL win simultaneously. Or it's a stalemate. Hmmm . . . or I really don't know and that's the most intriguing thing of all. Gotta love them. :-)

[madamedarque]

Valmont/Marquise hits, like, every single one of my shipping kinks. (As does Paul/Madeline. *g*) So, a meta comparing them would make my brain explode with happiness.

I have issues with the Elizabeth movie because of the historical inaccuracies, but Elizabeth in real life was the greatest HBIC ever. And Madeline is very much in her mold, as are all those other cool ladies you mentioned. Damn. Now I really want to write a time travel/crossover fic where they all conspire against each other and then solve crimes. (But I should be working on my TR fic...)

[nell65]

I particularly liked the last section; it is a very strong image.

Nice job!

[clueless_02]

As always, thanks for the comment!

I also liked the last section the best. I enjoyed writing it and it came very easily in comparison with the other sections. When I was writing the second section, I wanted to pull out my hair and re-reading it makes me want to do the same so I like knowing that I can scroll down to last section and have some of my annoyance tempered.