I have some advice that is very 'meta' rather than a critique of the specifics. I know they say to start right off telling about your story, but from my experience in working with my agent, the first questions she wants to know is how to categorize what she's reading. You might be better off to start out with:
I'm seeing representation for my recently urban fantasy novel (complete at X words) about .
The art of the one line pitch--before you so much as name your character--has helped me sell several books on spec. It's more important than I ever realized before, and so I offer it for your consideration.
That's my two cents, and worth about what you paid for it :P
Even after reading the horde of steampunk stories for the Clockwork Chaos anthology, just reading that query made me want to know more about the book.
I do have a hard time equating the first paragraph of your query with a locked-room murder mystery... which means it is either a negative equation for an agent or a postive hook depending on their partiuclar viewpoints. Probably just as well.
You never do mention wordcount in your query.
Your short story publications look like a standard lis tthere, I'd probably have used a colon. The and Strange, Weird, and Wonderful looks to be problemetic in listing that way.
Yeah, I do need some more showing of the links between the characters and the mystery. It's kinda tough--the novel's told in three pretty much entirely separate storylines with three main characters.
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I think it sounds more like "my writing rulezor" than "I am an awesome writer". Which is a fine distinction, but I like it better.
Also, I would totally read Vicesteed.
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And good! Because you're totally my target market.
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I'm seeing representation for my recently urban fantasy novel (complete at X words) about .
The art of the one line pitch--before you so much as name your character--has helped me sell several books on spec. It's more important than I ever realized before, and so I offer it for your consideration.
That's my two cents, and worth about what you paid for it :P
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I've heard conflicting advice as to whether one should start or close with that information. Le sigh.
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You were on the short list, but it's good to know for sure.
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I do have a hard time equating the first paragraph of your query with a locked-room murder mystery... which means it is either a negative equation for an agent or a postive hook depending on their partiuclar viewpoints. Probably just as well.
You never do mention wordcount in your query.
Your short story publications look like a standard lis tthere, I'd probably have used a colon. The and Strange, Weird, and Wonderful looks to be problemetic in listing that way.
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Yeah, I do need some more showing of the links between the characters and the mystery. It's kinda tough--the novel's told in three pretty much entirely separate storylines with three main characters.
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(The comment has been removed)
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