DVD Press release: edited 4:00 AM

[spadada]

All 200 reporters on our list will be directed to the press release this morning.

I decided to post it on the site rather than send it as an attachment:
http://www.watchveronicamars.net/dvd_drive/press_release

Comments

[reve_silencieux]

Los Angeles in the first line.

[spadada]

Thank you. Heh. Angles is a word too. (You like the content? I am not sure about it. I need feedback.)

[reve_silencieux]

Oh goodness, I'm not good at this stuff. Content wise, it seems to hit all the high points. I think the one point I had to go back and look at because it seemed weird, was how you inserted the feedback.

Librarians have been enthusiastic and appreciative:

This seemed like it was just part of the writing, so to speak, and I didn't notice the colon on the first read. Now, it's just me, but I would understand it more clearly if you clarified that they responded with those lines. Sure, we know they're enthusiastic and appreciative. *shrugs*

Don't mind me...I'm watching TV, going through papers and packing all at once. (How do I accumulate SO much paper during two years?!)

[spectralbovine]

I agree, actually. I was a little surprised to read that because it didn't seem to reflect what happened.

I think the sentence could maybe put more focus on the fact that enthusiasm to save the show was so high that we had excess money left over after the plane, so the DVD campaign was launched to take advantage of it. Charitably.

[spadada]

I disagree. I re-read the old TWoP thread recently and the library idea was only accepted as an option once people were satisfied that it "counted" as a charity. Most people wanted to donate the leftover money to charity.

The DVD Drive was first brought up by you (referecing Farscape), but it was not accepted as a viable campaign until Molly pointed out that libraries were in fact charities.

But I can tweak the language a little to make it a little more accurate. I am down to the LETTER in order to make it fit on one page, so that is affecting my ability to elaborate.

[spectralbovine]

But donating money would not produce new viewers; donating DVDs would.
; -> : for better impact

‘Veronica Mars’ inspired
Hyphenated.

It looks good.

[spadada]

I do I hyphenate something in quotes like that?

'Veronica Mars'-inspired?

[spectralbovine]

Yep.

[maka2000]

Nice!

Content suggestions:

1) For those who might not have heard of our plane stunt at all, expound a bit-

"On May 9, 2006, fans of ‘Veronica Mars’ hired a plane to fly a banner supporting renewal over the UPN offices..."

2) I would actually move what is now the 3rd paragraph up, so that "...but not many publications reported on the real core of the fan campaign: the VM DVD Drive for Libraries." is followed by, "As of August 22, 2006, the day Season Two of ‘Veronica Mars’ comes out on DVD, fans have donated over 400..."

It seems like a natural segue. You could still put the map after that paragraph. Then follow the map with...

3)What's now the 2nd paragraph. It seems a bit run on sentency or something. Maybe reword a tad to make it more succinct

[maka2000]

Oh, and maybe put quotation marks around the librarian quotes, just to help avoid the confusion that was mentioned above. That or indent on either side of the quotes. :-)

[spectralbovine]

By donating to public libraries, fans have been able to support a worthy cause while also introducing their favorite show to anyone with a library card.
I like that!

[spadada]

Oooh. Me too!

[maka2000]

Well done Kelley!

*applaudes you*
*gives you cake*

[spadada]

So you are OK with the way I cut your header in half and turned it into a header and a footer? And that I added the date?

Good. I was kind of nervous about it, but I wasn't gonna call you at 4 AM and ask you if it was alright ;)