The Loneliness of the Fishermouse (5/5): Fishermouse

[clodia_metelli]

Title: The Loneliness of the Fishermouse (5/5): Fishermouse
Author: clodia_metelli
Characters: Erestor, Lindir, Glorfindel, Arwen, Elrond; in previous chapters: Celebrían, OC, Galadriel, Celeborn.
Rating: PG-13 (off-screen character death, non-graphic violence and gore).
Book/Source: Silmarillion, LOTR Appendices.
Disclaimer: I am not J.R.R. Tolkien and I make

Comments

[curiouswombat]

I think that is a very, very, fitting last chapter. There is that sense of entering the calm eddy after rushing over the waterfall and through the rocks - still on an untravelled and unexpected stretch of water, after something changed the course of the river, but with the time to draw breath.

It is the point you reach when you realise the dead one is not going to come back in through the door; that this is how it is, now, and nothing you can do will change it.

But the loss lingers like a cloak of mist; Erestor will never be quite the same carefree soul he was when he was part of the pair.

But, oh, I can see him throughout the coming years smiling quietly whenever any one of a number of songs, attributed to all sorts of sources, are sung.

[clodia_metelli]

Thank yoooooou. That was just the sense I wanted to convey - after all, you can't keep up that emotional intensity that follows right on the heels of disaster forever. I meant to take them to that turning-point - after this, they can all work it out for themselves.

And I think that's the sort of joke that needs to be shared - so at least with Melinna gone, he can smirk at Glorfindel instead when this comes up. (Really, though, think of Melinna, who will eventually emerge in Valinor to be confronted by a circle of poets who know very well that they didn't compose all these things attributed to them, and some of whom may admit this...)

life, death, and parting

[auroramama]

Astonishing and worthy of giving closure, even a kind of comfort, to the preceding chapters. Elrond's declaration about his wife was almost merciful, ending Arwen's torment (how painful, to have people keep telling you your mother needs you, when you keep learning that you aren't what she needs.) In the end, Erestor doesn't apologize, but he's the one able to say it: there's nothing you can do. Let her go. Seeing Arwen run to her father to receive and try to give comfort was... well, I had tears in my eyes through most of this.

Erestor won't sail. Elrond cannot sail until Elros' heir returns as the king, or dies without issue. Arwen takes some solace from staying with her father, and from finally having something she can give Erestor, who is done with wandering for some time.

How true is Erestor's accusation of Melinna, that she chose to die? I wonder what she believed she was doing. I wonder whether she thought he would follow her over sea, by dying or by sailing, or hold onto the life of Middle-Earth as long as it was granted him.

Re: life, death, and parting

[clodia_metelli]

Thank you so much! I am so glad this is a decent ending - I wondered a little whether it provided enough closure, but it was where I always meant to leave them, so I didn't want to spin it out past this. I wanted to get them to the point where they could let go and move on themselves. And this was always about Arwen too, I am glad that works. (In the end, Erestor may regret it anyway, when she follows Luthien's model after all. But that will set him free to leave ME; the tapestry will be woven by then.)

And about Melinna, well, Erestor's right: she knew what she was doing and where it would get her, and if she'd had time to think, she'd have known he wouldn't follow her then. But it wasn't really about dying so much as this unexpected confluence of circumstances setting up a choice just too similar to the one she was prevented from making in Menegroth, and always regretted not having made in Menegroth, if that makes sense.

Re: life, death, and parting

[auroramama]

a choice just too similar to the one she was prevented from making in Menegroth

Oh, yes. Sometimes all you can do with a terrible choice is say, "I'll do it the other way this time." And sometimes you just don't have it in you to do the same thing again. Buffy killed Angel, but she couldn't kill Dawn; she didn't have it in her to do it a second time. Which makes killing Angel her Two Trees. Or maybe her Silmarils.

But to Erestor, yes, she chose not to put their relationship first. How could he not feel betrayed?

And he's the one left for Arwen to see and speak to (and make a tapestry with.) So it's his feelings about Melinna's choice that stay with her.

[redheredh]

Well, this was a very satisfying ending indeed. As is your way, you say as much about the human condition as you say about the elven. And as always, I am impressed. Your emotional excercise remains in heart-memory

[clodia_metelli]

Thank you so much for all your wonderful comments! It's been wonderful hearing what you think along the way. I think you're being too hard on yourself, though - we're all only amateurs, or I am, dabbling in Tolkien's world. I'm really glad you got something for yourself out of this, as it were; it sounds fascinating. Good luck with getting it written!

[wormwood_7]

This ending was beautifully done. Endings are tricky things. If it's too neat it feels false. If it's left hanging it creates confusion.
I see this as both Arwen's and Erestor's story, a story of how the people you love most can make stark choices that doesn't involve you. All you can do is to accept it and go on living. Hard as that is.
I have always loved your Erestor. I can see him remaining in Middle-Earth for a long time. He is a poet and a storyteller, and on the other side of the ocean I can't but feel there are fewer stories to tell.

Something entirely different. Remember your post about the girl who lost your umbrella, and asked if you bonded with your umbrellas? Well, that sentence evolved into a story. It was picked for a literary event in Edinburgh this week, along with other stories by other people. The downside is that I have to read it myself. Most of the others (with a couple of exceptions) are fairly established writers. I am very nervous needless to say. I'm very happy to let you read it, if you want.

[clodia_metelli]

Oh, wonderful! I meant all of that, so I'm really pleased it comes across. And I'm so glad you like this ending; as you say, tricky things... My Erestor will be staying in ME until Elrond does, so a fair long while. I think he and Melinna will have some fun exploring all of the new places across the sea, when the time comes, but they will miss ME. I'm sure they'll find ways to tease Aman's inhabitants, though.

And congratulations! That's really exciting - I hope the event goes well. (My sympathies re: nerves, I know how that feels.) I'd love to read the story, if you wouldn't mind.

[someplacetobe]

I can't believe I've come to the end of this; I didn't know if I would after learning of Melinna's death, which came as such a surprise and shock.

I liked how you made these characters seem real, putting aside what we think of the Elves -- the mystique, the glamour, their nobility -- and making them seem real, feel real instead of being these distant figures that they've always seemed. You made those qualities mentioned above feel more accessible than before because you made them feel so very real.

I also liked the weaving of the initial fancy into a story of its own, of using it for the titles of this. That tied it all together and made that fancy important to this tale, which was nicely handled and done.

There is probably a lot more to say but my mind keeps coming back to these points so, voila, here they are!

[clodia_metelli]

//I can't believe I've come to the end of this;//

I am so glad you did. <3

[someplacetobe]

I hoped opening and closing on Erestor's whimsy would provide structure and closure, as well as fitting in with the larger theme of E&M's literary exploits.
You did and it was done brilliantly; it was a very good way to tie this story together --- it very much kept it from flying apart at the seams.

I was pretty reluctant to actually write this fic
I'm quite glad you did write it. It would have been, I feel, so much more tempting to leave it open, to not have Melinna die but to bring it an end, and such a fitting end for this arc, was so very brave (you'd gotten to know these characters after all!) and it was a good way to end the cycle.

Thank you so much for all your comments, anyway!
You're very welcome and I'm so glad they were! I must confess, there's probably a few more coming; I've been poking around here some more!