The Loneliness of the Fishermouse (4/5): Coracle

[clodia_metelli]

Title: The Loneliness of the Fishermouse (4/5): Coracle
Author: clodia_metelli
Characters: Erestor, Galadriel, Celeborn, Glorfindel, Arwen; in previous chapters: Elrond, Lindir, Celebrían, OC.
Rating: PG-13 (off-screen character death, non-graphic violence and gore).
Book/Source: Silmarillion, LOTR Appendices.
Disclaimer: I am not J.R.R. Tolkien and I make no

Comments

[curiouswombat]

“My mother doesn’t need the grief!”

Just at that moment I think Arwen might need slapping. Erestor's grief is so less important, of course - he's only lost his wife of millennia after all.

But it is exactly right - she would focus only on her mother and feel that everyone else should too - the whole thing is masterfully written.

Arwen?

[auroramama]

There's foresight in Arwen's family. I couldn't help thinking, reading this, that part of her already knows what she's going to lose. Imagine how Erestor would be if they'd brought Melinna back alive, breathing, but he was losing her anyway. He wouldn't give a damn about anyone who was already dead. And if he thought someone's words were pushing her away from him...

But I may be overinterpreting. No one behaves very well at times like this.

Re: Arwen?

[curiouswombat]

I don't expect Arwen to care about what's been buried of Melinna - but under normal circumstances she would care about Erestor. If she has enough foresight to know that her mother will choose to sail, she will at least get the chance to say goodbye to her, and could simply choose to go with her. Erestor did not get that chance to say farewell.

Of course, if her grandmother's greater level of foresight shows her that Arwen is going to be needed as a spur to drive on the King Returned she is going to have problems explaining why Arwen should not sail with her mother...

Celebrian and Arwen have relatives and family in the west - it would make a lot of sense for Arwen to go too, really. Except that Tolkien created her to specifically not sail!

Erestor can choose to sail now, of course, but he will know no-one, and he might have to wait a long time for Melinna to be returned from Mandos Halls. And, of course, he wouldn't be around to be mentioned in the LotR and we wouldn't know of his existence... :)

Re: Arwen?

[auroramama]

Farewell doesn't seem to be what Erestor wanted to say, but yes, it's fair to argue that it will be a comfort to Arwen that she can.

I can't immediately think why any of them stayed. Elrond, Elladan and Elrohir, and Arwen all could have gone with Celebrian. In canon, what were their reasons? Elrond held Vilya, but the boys? This is where the thin spots in my understanding show up. For those born in Middle-Earth, perhaps, life in Middle-Earth was harder to surrender, and Valinor less real. Eru intended, apparently, for the elves to be born in Middle-Earth, not among the Valar.

fishermouse 4/5

[auroramama]

So alone. The only company that mattered is gone; now he'll never not be alone. Yes, he can't care about Arwen's terror and impending grief, about any of these people who are not Melinna. (They're all in the uncanny valley now: creepily similar to people, but horribly lacking in being Melinna. They're all monsters.)

Also, you win on the tra-la-lallys. I've never seen such good sense made of that.

Re: fishermouse 4/5

[clodia_metelli]

Thank you! I've been saving up the tra-la-lallys for a long time. It seemed to me that elven practical jokes would be the long-burn sort. (I won't lie, if I had an elf's lifespan and that unparalleled ability to meddle with the raw materials of history, I would definitely spend my time writing mischievous things like the Historia Augusta.)

And I love the way you put it, all these uncanny valley people: because yes, by now Erestor's circle of people or places or things he really cares about is very small and most of it was buried up by the waterfall.

I added a comment on your conversation with Wombat just above, btw. It was fascinating to read! Thank you for all your thoughts.

[engarian]

I see that other commentators are discussing the wheres and whyfors of Erestor not sailing with Celebrian. But one simple thing wasn't mentioned. They are old. OLD. And they may very well not respond to Mandos' call, preferring instead to stay east of Valinor. Maybe Erestor feels that would be the case and that going West won't mean actually being able to be with Melinna again in the future. I so feel for him though. His grief is so debilitating and so present in every movement and every sound and breath.

- Erulisse (one L)

[clodia_metelli]

They certainly preferred to stay east of Valinor this long - to anticipate slightly, Erestor is not keen on having his hand forced, as far as leave ME goes. But hopefully that will all make sense in due course...

Where do they go from here?

[auroramama]

Even beings that love to teach have some things they keep private, which is my in-universe reason that we're never clear on just what happens to elves when they go West. Of course, they may not know themselves

[hhimring]

Umm.
Celebrian, who has been tortured by orcs, drags herself out of her sickroom to Erestor to deliver Melinna's last message and basically gets told she needn't have bothered and she wasn't really worth Melinna's efforts to help her anyway. (Yes, I know, he also says they were pointless and ineffective--but his tone clearly implies that he considers Celebrian unimportant.) And Arwen finally loses her temper with Erestor. So why shouldn't she?! So, okay, she didn't hear precisely what it was that Erestor said and only saw its effects...
Erestor's behaviour may be understandable, but the fact is that under the circumstances the others have been more patient with him than could necessarily be expected--he is by no means the only one who has suffered, after all. Their pain is not real to him, obviously, but that doesn't mean it's not there.

[clodia_metelli]

Yes - Erestor earned Arwen's sharp words here, as he undoubtedly earned Elrond's reprimand re: Lindir back at the start of all this; and while he's at the centre of his own personal tragedy, the whole thing is bigger than just him. (And he knows this and and doesn't care, because he doesn't really care enough about anyone else to be particularly affected by what they're going through, at least right now.) That was the idea, anyway! I was surprised not to get more reaction from the scene with Celebrian in the last chapter. It was a bad idea for her to ignore the warnings and drag herself through to talk to him, but not because it was wrong of her to do it - rather, because Erestor is old and hard and rarely kind and dangerously frank at the best of times, and she was in no way ready to stand up to him. He's not a victim; he can shrug off a fight that he provoked anyway.

[redheredh]

The tapestry... that's brilliant... the whole fading and restoring and colours and knotting and Aratar/Edhil weaving metaphore... I love that component

[clodia_metelli]

Wonderful, I've been working towards that fading tapestry since Melinna planned to weave it in the first fic I ever wrote. I'm so glad you like it! And I had thought there would be more Celeborn and Galadriel here when I was planning this, but there wasn't really space in the end. At least Celeborn got to do a little behind-the-scenes fixing. I'm pretty fond of him too.

I don't think 'my' Erestor would ever fade, not from grief. Self-preservation is too much of a habit with him. Maybe they would both have stayed in ME, if Melinna had survived, and eventually faded to mere voices on the breeze.

It's a bit of a relief to hear Arwen's words were understandable! It seemed to me that Erestor deserved at least that, at this point. And yes, I suppose that's a question for both of them; and Glorfindel, at least, can soothe himself with the harp. But at least Erestor is up and awake again. I'm glad you liked how he was roused - like the tapestry, I've been saving that up too...