2+2=5
Fandom: Katekyo Hitman Reborn!
Pairing: Slight and teasing hints of 8059 and 27K (and slight teasing hints of others?)
Rating: PG
Word Count: 8,590 8,105 (Sorry, guys... T_T) For coomasieblue's Mini-Bang Challenge! And the picture for this was drawn by ch1zuru~!! ♥♥♥ So much love~! The prompt I chose was Body Swap, so... good luck!! The picture is in this fic, but you can also find it at Neku's art journal, nocturne_rain, by following THIS LINK. (This story was originally so much more confusing before I decided, '... Nawww... they won't be included....' @_@ count yourselves lucky....) AND! many many thanks go to dear Tony (ravenlock_3) for helping me with the ending that would so not be what it is without her!! ♥ Love you, BB~!!
☽✩☾
As per usual, Tsuna wasn't quite sure what had happened. Things were apt to fly over his head and, right now, he wasn't too sure he minded being in the dark. He could understand easy things: simple math, how to speak, the fact that he was the Tenth Boss of the Family Vongola, and the fact that sometimes Lambo overreacted and he switched places with his future self for five minutes.
Simple things.
What he didn't really get at the moment, however, was the current ordeal in which he and several of the others found themselves. Like the fact that his legs felt a little colder than they should or that he felt like he'd just suffered five weeks of a hellish virus.
Upon lifting his head, he found his body was moving differently, and he heard a few groans floating around him after Bianchi's yell of, "STUPID COW!" (?!) and the slam of a door followed after a small Lambo-sized flash of black and white. Tsuna groaned himself, some loose and light honey-colored hair falling in his eyes. He lifted a soft hand to brush it back. His eyes fell on his companions, who seemed to be having issues moving, and were testing out how their arms and legs were supposed to move. (Shouldn't they already know...?!)
Bianchi laid there in a cold sweat, her eyes closed behind yellow-orange goggles and a hand pressed to her forehead. Gokudera was checking his hands out, flipping them over with a confused look; he even grabbed a lock of his hair to gaze at for a moment, before a look of utter amusement crossed his features and he laughed. Yamamoto seemed to be doing the same thing to himself, sans hair-tugging, but remained confused and if anything, slightly worried. Haru looked shocked, looking at her hands, and checking her skirt. He looked all around for Kyouko-Chan but couldn't find her, instead finding himself glaring daggers at Bianchi.
How he was looking at himself as if in third person was confusing as Hell, but more importantly: Where was Kyouko-Chan? Did she accidentally get sent to the future? Where was her future self?! And if they were already 'back', And why hadn't she returned? Surely the five minutes could be squished into five moments?! Tsuna's heart pounded against his chest in worry. He could barely remember his heart ever beating so hard. His hands rested at the top of the small table he sat at and stood up to his knees. His brow was creased in worry.
"Kyouko-Chan! Where did she--?!"
Tsuna stopped himself, his eyes widening, and grabbing at his throat. What was stuck in his throat? His voice was far too high-pitched, wasn't it? Much more than he remembered.
"Kyouko-Chan?"
Tsuna turned to Yamamoto, and he tilted his head slightly. Did Yamamoto just call him 'Kyouko-Chan'? And what was with his inquisitive tone?
"Kyouko-Chan," he continued. "You're right there."
"Yamamoto?!"
Yamamoto's eyes widened, and his hands came up to guard infront of him. "Hahi--! Of course I'm not! I mean, I don't think I am. No! I'm Haru!" Yamamoto's hands formed upright fists, proclaiming he was Haru, though he looked and sounded like Yamamoto. His actions were a little feminine, but....
"Haru?! But--! No--! And, I'm--! I'm...!"
Tsuna paused a moment, looking back to where he saw himself before he began worrying about Kyouko. Instead of glaring at Bianchi he was now glaring completely and totally at himself--he was glaring at himself! ...What?! Tsuna fell back in surprise; his arms reached out behind him to catch himself. His body was awkward in movement, and when he looked forward he found two slim, smooth and silky legs in front of him, protruding from his skirt.
...
As stated above (see paragraph 1; sentence 3.2), Tsuna was fine with simple math. 1+1=2, 2+2=4, etc, etc. But, he was pretty sure that none of what was happening added up to him wearing a skirt. Tsuna sat up straight, and looked at his legs; they were nothing like he remembered! His legs were not nice looking, or smooth! He was a teenage boy! His legs were not attractive! They had a light covering of hair! Not this Venus Fresh-glide feeling! (Oh, but he pressed a hand to a shin, and boy, were his legs soft...!) But then, the skirt.... Oh, the skirt! Why was he wearing a SKIRT? He grabbed at it with his nicely manicured hands and nearly facefaulted at finding something (or somethings) on his chest obscuring his vision.
"N-No waaaaay!!" he yelled, in his brand new high-pitched voice. He stumbled clumsily to his feet and made it an entire foot to his door before he lost balance in his new body and began falling to his table. Bianchi jumped up, straightening her back and stared worriedly at him--her--him.... (Him. Definitely 'him'.) Gokudera's eyes widened just a little, reaching out a bit, and Yamamoto's hands flew to his mouth with a sharp intake of breath and a, "Watch out--Kyou--!"
Unfortunately, Tsuna hit the table face-first before Yamamoto's warning could have any kind of effect other than to sufficiently worry Tsuna further. His forehead hit with a 'bang', followed by the rest of his body crashing down. Tsuna would be used to the pain (he was 'No Good Tsuna' for a reason), but this particular crash hurt more than the others. Yamamoto hurried up along with...himself, Tsuna...to help him to his feet.
"I think..." Tsuna began. "...Something's not right...."
☽✩☾
No one was quite sure what to do, but one thing was certain:
It was weird.
Eventually, Tsuna made sure everyone was okay because these were his friends. But more importantly he wanted to make sure he wasn't going crazy, which he most definitely thought he was. And here he had begun to believe that Vongola was normal. If it was normal at all, Tsuna would hate to have to find a new category for what just happened.
He called out, "Gokudera-Kun!", as though calling roll. Bianchi sat up and raised a hand, wrapping the other arm across her front. Her forehead fell to the desk, her hair falling in a damp curtain to obscure her face. Tsuna felt his face pale; it wasn't just him that this had happened to.
"Um... I'll... actually--here; paper..." he mumbled, digging through the nearest book bag (which he knew wasn't his due to the presence of tampons.... He blushed.) He found a spare piece of paper and a pencil tucked neatly away. It took a moment but after a few scribbles on the side his hand became accustomed to the new feeling. "Gokudera-Kun...." His fingers sloppily wrote out Gokudera's name, followed by an arrow where he wrote out 'Bianchi'.
"Ah...Ya-Yamamoto...?" he called next. He looked up and found Goku--er, Gokudera's body shooting a hand up with a large smile on his face.
Yamamoto's enthusiastic, "Yo!" was joined with a disparaging groan from Bianchi's fatigued body.
Finally, fifteen minutes later, Tsuna had some kind of a list.
Kyouko=>Haru
Haru=>Yamamoto
Yamamoto=>Gokudera
Gokudera=>Bianchi
Looking through the list so far, his mind began swimming. All these people...it always happened to him and his friends! Why not other people? He could imagine it being worse if Hibari-San was mixed in--say if he became Bianchi, or even I-Pin. He'd be a Femme Fatale! The thought alone was dangerous, and could give nightmares. ... Tsuna wasn't quite so sure he knew how to piss his pants now that it seemed he was in a female body, but he didn't think it would take too long to learn. Thankfully his pants--er, panties--stayed dry.
Haru, upon finding out she was not in her own body and Kyouko-Chan inhabited hers, sighed in relief, glad that no boy had inhabited her body (despite the fact she was now in Yamamoto's, of course).
At his table sat Yamamoto, Gokudera, and Bianchi's bodies, but their mannerisms had changed, making it seem much more believable that in Yamamoto's body was Haru, in Gokudera's Yamamoto, and Gokudera in Bianchi's. (Poor Gokudera....) Tsuna didn't really have much to say to comfort the older boy/girl/he-gave-up-on-picking-a-gender. What could he say, anyway? 'Don't worry, it'll be okay?' He hardly thought so. Gokudera had a hard enough time being within ten feet of his sister, but now for him to be trapped within her.... Odd. At least he couldn't see his new face unless he looked in the mirror.
"Hey, Gokudera--are you all right?" Yamamoto asked from within the Italian's body. How strange it was for it to look like someone was talking literally to themselves. A hand landed on Gokudera's back, rubbing in small circles; Gokudera visibly flinched a little bit and scooted another entire inch away, but Yamamoto just scooted closer with a smile. Seeing that happy smile of Yamamoto's on Gokudera's face, Tsuna was... more than slightly disturbed, but then again he was stuck in a female body so he supposed he couldn't talk too much.... Haru left the table to go sit with Kyouko-Chan. It was... cute, almost, to see (visually) Yamamoto and Haru sitting together talking (though... Yamamoto's now-feminine actions and way-of-speech were something to get used to). Bianchi stood in Tsuna's stolen body and went downstairs, "To cook something up."
Not with my body...!
When the real Yamamoto stopped scooting and kept rubbing, Gokudera forced his sister's head up, and glared at his possessed body. There was a slight sheen of perspiration over his forehead, and he panted lightly. "You...!" he growled. It was odd to hear Bianchi's voice be released in something other than her usual soft and seductive tones. Tsuna watched Gokudera's eyes narrow and watched him shake his head. A hand came up, and ripped off Bianchi's goggles with a mumbled, "How does she see with these things on?!"
"There--now I can see you better so I call yell at you properly!" His head shot back to Yamamoto and he opened his lip-sticked mouth (which was WEIRD) to yell some more. Yet, time stilled for those few seconds where Yamamoto's and Gokudera's eyes caught. Yamamoto's disturbingly innocent eyes widened with a sharp intake of breath, and Gokudera's eyes widened in surprise as Yamamoto doubled over choking.
"Ya-Yamamoto...!" Tsuna yelled. Yamamoto was clutching his stomach, a forearm in front of him supporting his upper-body weight on the ground. Tsuna jumped up to his friend's side. "Yamamoto--! Are you okay?!"
Gokudera stared with his lips slightly parted, surprised.
"Guuuuhhh...!" he moaned. Now it sounded as if Gokudera was still in his own body. "Go... kudera...! Is this what it feels... like each time...?" Yamamoto asked, strained. He coughed several times. "I think... I'm gonna...-- Sorry, Tsuna--!"
Yamamoto was standing and rushing out faster than anyone had seen Gokudera move in regards to Bianchi. They heard the bathroom door slam shut, and that was the end of that. Tsuna turned his head to see Gokudera staring at his hands and the goggles with wonder.
"Gokudera-Kun...? Is something wrong...?"
"'Wrong'? Tenth..." he began. the softer tones Tsuna was used to hearing from Bianchi's body returned. Gokudera's head dropped, hair obscuring his face once more. Tsuna heard what sounded like small, muffled sobs escape and he stood to go comfort Gokudera. "This power...." He made it two and a half steps when Gokudera's head shot back, hair flipping in a wave. A manical smiled adorned his face and his new... erm... chest... heaved up and down with mad laughter. "I FINALLY HAVE THE POWER TO BRING YAMAMOTO TO HIS KNEES! I HAVE DEFEATED HIM!"
Tsuna gulped and could have sworn that he heard a crash of thunder somewhere in the distance.
☽✩☾
After managing to convince an entirely-too-excited Gokudera to keep the goggles on and not try to completely incapacitate his good friend Yamamoto (the 'good friend' part was especially emphasized), the first order of business that needed to be taken care of was Yamamoto. He came out of the bathroom looking worse for wear: Almost as white as Lambo's milk and with his now-silver hair dampened and not-so-shiny, he didn't look in top-physical condition as either Gokudera or Yamamoto himself usually looked. Tsuna jumped to his feet (still getting used to maneuvering Kyouko-Chan's body) and, making sure his skirt didn't fly up (how did girls keep them down?!), he readied his bed for Yamamoto to recover on.
Haru and (the real) Kyouko left the room to go find (read: comfort) Lambo when Yamamoto fell on the bed, groaning and still clutching his abdomen. "Yamamoto!" Tsuna called. "Are you feeling any better?!" His voice cracked girlishly, but now was hardly the time to focus on that. He had Yamamoto's current health to worry about.
Yamamoto attempted a grin, but it was mostly a failure. "I'm--fine...!" he gasped. Yamamoto's lie didn't go unnoticed, and Gokudera stood, fixing the goggles and keeping his face from Yamamoto as best he could. ('Tenth's orders.... Tenth's orders...!')
"I'll be right back, Tenth," he groused. "I'll go get a wet cloth for him."
With no answer, Gokudera left the room (not that Tsuna would have stopped him, anyway) and returned just a moment later with a warm, damp, wash cloth. He passed Tsuna and knelt down on the floor to arrange the cloth on Yamamoto's forehead. "If you honestly think you're going to throw up again, I suggest you run really quick back to the bathroom, because there's no way in Heaven or Hell I'll let you throw up on the Tenth's bed."
Yamamoto attempted another chuckle. "No worries, Gokudera. I think I got it out." He wriggled a bit more and groaned. "Man, is this what you feel like every time?" Yamamoto asked.
Gokudera shrugged, standing. Tsuna was amused at how similar the pose was to Bianchi's. "Not to that extreme. It probably has to do with you not being used to it, and then I always expect it on some level."
"But, Gokudera-Kun--you're stuck in Bianchi's body," Tsuna said. "What about you? Aren't you a little...queasy?"
Tsuna and Yamamoto focused their stares on Gokudera. He blinked back at them.
"A little, I suppose. But, I haven't seen my sister's face yet; I'm just in her body. But, even so... that reaction is a bodily reaction, and not as much a psychological one. I'll probably be okay after a little bit. Probably."
There were two 'mm's, and a nod before Haru (Tsuna had to remind himself it was NOT Yamamoto) poked back in. "Tsuna-San, I have a question..." she began, hesitantly. Tsuna turned to find her messing with the bottom hem of Yamamoto's shirt.
"What is it, Haru?"
Haru blushed, and bit her bottom lip (again Tsuna wondered why it was so disturbing to see it as Yamamoto doing it). "Um...! How...how will we...take showers...?"
There were several moments in which eyes widened, gazes fell to the floor, and cheeks became a bright pink. It took all Tsuna had to prevent a nosebleed--that, and a sudden 'flump' sound from where Gokudera stoo--
Er...lay. From where Gokudera lay, unconscious and twitching.
☽✩☾
Reborn arrived half an hour later when they gave up hope of the (normal) time limit of... kicking in.
Tsuna greeted him with the real Haru and real Bianchi. Bianchi's eyes widened in absolute joy.
"Oh, Reborn--! You're still the same!" she rejoiced. She lunged forward, hugging Reborn as though she herself had been struck with the Dying Will bullet (meant for the body she was in). Tsuna grimaced at the sight of himself hugging Reborn in such a manner. If it was him inside that body he'd be dead.
Once Bianchi had given her fill of love and set Reborn down, the pint-size assassin peered up looking at Tsuna. The discomfort Tsuna felt at Reborn's large black eyes drilling into his was immense; all Tsuna could think of to do was run because really--what would Reborn say, or do, or think?! (He was more worried about 'do' in concerns to the small hit man....) He felt his legs trembling, and he kept his hand clenched tight at his sides. He tried so hard, willing his legs to move and run away before Reborn tried to hurt him in some new fashion, but, really: What were women's legs made out of, anyway?! Lead?!
One second Reborn was still and unmoving, and the next all Reborn had done was open his mouth and Tsuna had his hands flying infront of him.
"...It really is No Good Tsuna in there," Reborn remarked. "You're disgracing Kyouko's image. And besides," he continued with a smirk. "I wouldn't mark Kyouko's body with an injury meant for you."
"Re-Reborn...!" Tsuna wailed, falling to his knees. "I--!"
"You need to make the most of this opportunity," Reborn told him. Tsuna's eyes narrowed, and he went to yell, but Reborn interrupted him. "Not everyone gets to experience life as both genders, let alone mafia bosses. You can learn a lot from this."
"But--! I don't want to be a girl!" he stressed. "Let alone Kyouko-Chan! It's not right! If I wanted to be a girl I'd get a sex-change!" Tsuna leaned forward slightly, so his face wasn't far from Reborn's. "What could this possibly teach me?!"
"Tolerance," Reborn said simply. "Respect."
Tsuna blinked, amazed. As if he didn't have enough to tolerate! He had baby hit men living in his house, his self-proclaimed Right Hand Man was close to becoming a pyromaniac, and his house couldn't stand in one piece for more than a week anymore. Tolerance. He could show Reborn a thing or two about tolerance....
"Suck it up and be man. Well..." Reborn grabbed the brim of his fedora, then looked Tsuna straight in the eye. "As much as you can, at least."
"This has become boring," Bianchi remarked. She stood up from beside Reborn, and began making her way to the kitchen with an, "I wonder how the food's coming along...."
Bianchi passed, Haru following after her. Tsuna sat up, trying to stop glaring at Reborn because that kind of face just shouldn't be on Kyouko-Chan's nice features. 'Learn a lot', Reborn said. Sure.... "Reborn...are you really getting this at all? I'm stuck in Kyouko-Chan's body. How am I supposed to do what I do? How do I shower? What do I do for school? And... how do I go to the bathroom?!" The last question was whispered almost silently, and with a fresh screen of red over Tsuna's face.
"Don't be so selfish, No Good Tsuna. You're not the only one who's changed. This happened to your family, too. Figure it out for them before yourself."
Those statements brought Tsuna's anger down only a little, and he realized that the others had the same predicament; they had to be uncomfortable, too. Especially the girls and Gokudera-Kun. He groaned, and carefully brought his knees up to his chin. It was difficult--how did girls manage with skirts?! "Yes, Reborn, I got it. I'm sorry. But...." Tsuna stood up, nearly tripping once again. He felt his face warm up again and he asked, "How...how do I take a shower...?"
He looked expectantly at Reborn but all he got in return half a second later was a snot bubble. W-what?! Here when Tsuna needed him in quite possibly the strangest occurrence yet, and he fell asleep! Some 'tutor'! Some 'hit man'! Fine! He'd figure it out on his own, and then brag about it to Reborn. Of course, Reborn would probably find something in said bragging to yell at Tsuna about. He turned on his heel to head back upstairs. Things needed to be resolved, and now.
☽✩☾
Before the day had ended, only one thing was successfully figured out:
They'd all be scrunched together in the living room, sleeping in a tight space, and Tsuna refused to try and wonder just who he was going to be squashed under when he woke up in the morning. But there was one problem.
They couldn't safely go to Kyouko-Chan's house for a change of clothes, which meant... shopping. For clothes. Girly clothes. And he had to go with Kyouko-Chan herself--! Since she was in Haru's body and had to do shopping for Haru, as well, since Haru was in Yamamoto's body and it would be awkward for people to see Yamamoto looking to buy girls' panties. Scary.... He changed into a pair of his pants instead of staying the skirt; that would take some getting used to.... (He made sure to look away and not stare at Kyouko-Chan's legs in the mirror--!) As for Kyouko-Chan's shirts, he just took off the wool pull-over of the uniform top, leaving the dress shirt in place. He tried fixing the bow, but he couldn't get it to tie correctly so ended up just leaving it off.
For Tsuna, hanging out with Kyouko as a guy was hard enough, but to hang out with her... in her body... when she looked like Haru.... Talk about awkward. Of course, it wasn't until they stood infront of the panties display that he realized that Kyouko-Chan could probably have gone shopping for both him and herself.
So, why Tsuna had been dragged into this (Reborn) he'd really rather not think of, and just... get it over with. It was for the best.
There were all kinds of panties... so many kinds...! There were pink ones, blue ones, polka-dotted ones, striped ones, ones with chibi-fied anime and manga characters on them. Panties with English written on them, panties with lace, and panties with a noticeable lack of lace (and a very large and unsettling lack of fabric altogether...). Tsuna willed himself to stay calm and surprisingly enough it was easier than usual. Maybe it was being in a girl's body? Whatever it was, he was glad he didn't have to worry about dripping blood over Kyouko-Chan's shirt.... Kyouko-Chan grabbed a few packages of some light purple and light green panties with a large blush on her face. Tsuna glanced away, nearly ashamed of himself. This was Kyouko-Chan's personal business, and here he was, stuck in her body, invading that business. It was uncomfortable and Tsuna almost wanted to die. He almost did die when they had to search for bras.
He would never in his life call this a date. Here he was, finally alone with Kyouko-Chan, and.... He sighed. Karma was not his friend.
After the shopping was done, however, Tsuna could relax, and have a fun time. The two headed to the downtown area of Namimori (not far from Tsuna's house) to buy some chocolate crepes. Sitting down and nibbling on them, they spoke about how absolutely strange the new assistant in the school office was (of course, Kyouko-Chan made fun of him in a polite way), and then played a few games in the arcade. (No Good Tsuna got the crap beaten out of him, but he admitted his defeat instead of taking the normal-guy route and saying, 'Aw, I let you win.' Not that... he was exactly a 'normal guy' at the moment.)
They were walking by a picture booth when Kyouko stopped him, saying, "Oh, Tsuna-Kun--we should take some pictures! What do you think?"
Tsuna felt his cheeks brighten and he smiled. "I... I think that'd be fun," he said. He pulled several hundred yen out of his pocket, counting out the 600 he'd need. "Come on!" he called, taking their bags (with panties, bras, and... other girly things) with him into the booth. Kyouko-Chan followed after, giggling. She played with a few of the settings once Tsuna entered the fee, and true to form the camera was quick, catching Tsuna off guard and blinding him momentarily. Kyouko-Chan laughed, pressing into him with a smile. Tsuna blushed heavily, grinning. He finally smiled widely, joining in with Kyouko-Chan's laughter and took the pictures properly.
On the way out of the booth, Kyouko-Chan grabbed the strip of pictures. "Oh, Tsuna-Kun, these are the nicest pictures I've seen of you; you're smiling, and having a good time!" she said. "Look...!"
Kyouko-Chan held the small pictures out to him, and Tsuna chuckled half-heartedly. He was with Kyouko-Chan. How could he not have been having a good time?! "Heh-heh..." he began, sheepishly. "I um, it's only because I look like you right now, you know! And--and you still seem the same in the picture, even though you look like Haru." For a moment, Tsuna thought the comment could have a negative outcome, so he quickly tacked a, "I mean--! I think it's really admirable that you can still be Kyouko-Chan in Haru's body, whereas I... um... yeah." Tsuna turned his face from Kyouko-Chan. She hadn't said anything; she just grabbed his hand with a 'thank you', and walked home alongside him, grinning and giggling.
☽✩☾
Two days had passed since Gokudera had been stuck in his sister's body, and they weren't great. He'd had to somehow figure out how to clean himself (it took him several tries), and then to try and forget his newly acquired girly parts that he'd really rather not have.... He shivered. He had no idea how to put any of his sister's bras on, or how to apply her makeup, and not being able to look in the mirror for fear of passing out he was sure he'd managed to make Bianchi look like a buzzed and homeless drug dealer from the ghetto.
He, the Tenth, and the others had been instructed by Reborn to not go to school--grades would go haywire, and people could slip up on the confusion with names--so they were to stay hidden somewhere during the day (at least). The baseball nut insisted he go and stay at his own house for the day and Gokudera had been ready to say 'Absolutely not, you retard,' but Yamamoto made a comeback consisting of the words, 'free', and 'food'.
Gokudera wasn't exactly hurting for money, but the allure of those words was too much to pass up. Granted, Yamamoto rejoiced, but Gokudera could come up with an excuse other than, 'free food'.
"How else am I going to make sure you don't do inappropriate things to my body, huh?" he said.
Yamamoto's face turned red and his eyes widened. "No way, Gokudera...! Why would I--?! No! I swear!"
"Then why are you trying to come up with an excuse like that with your face that color? Pervert," he muttered walking into Takezushi. Yamamoto followed, still insisting otherwise. Gokudera tuned him out, flipping his sister's hair behind his shoulder (of course, it was in a very manly fashion that would never be mistaken for 'feminine') and all but demanded that Yamamoto get behind the counter and prepare some sushi. "It better be free, too. You said it was free and if I'm going to be stuck here, babysitting you, I can take it as compensation. ...Unless it tastes as shitty as usual."
So, Yamamoto shrugged, grin back in place and all perverted comments to the side, and went about his way preparing sushi for himself and Gokudera. He joined Gokudera a few minutes later on the stool next to him, and began to talk about the most random things. Gokudera had a half a mind to take any intelligence points off of Yamamoto's score, shoving the next piece of sushi in his mouth. Even though he hated it. It wasn't like he normally went to Takezushi, oh no....
"Yamamoto-San!"
Yamamoto spun around in his stool as the tail of a piece of shrimp stuck out of his mouth. Gokudera craned his head back to see who was there, and upon seeing Haru standing there in Yamamoto's body he groaned. Gokudera rolled his goggled eyes; just what he needed. Idiot 1 and Idiot 2 in the same place.
"Haru! Hi!" he smiled. He swallowed down the shrimp, rice, and whatever the baseball nut smothered on it. Wasabi. Gokudera shivered. Couldn't Yamamoto show even the tiniest hint of respect for his body? He could at least chew his food. ...Weren't the Japanese supposed to be kind and polite like that? Slow, and thoughtful, and taking everything in? Enjoying what they ate, to get each flavor out of their food?
...But, he supposed stereotypes could only be based on truth; not necessarily true.
Gokudera focused on his food again, sipping now on his green tea, and listening in on the conversation.
"Um, I was wondering, Yamamoto-San. Would you teach me to play baseball?"
Gokudera promptly spat out his tea over the last piece of his sushi, and over the counter.
☽✩☾
It was a glare. Most definitely a glare. It wasn't just a narrowed gaze, or squinted eyes from the sunlight. It was a glare.
Yamamoto could feel the glare from behind those tinted goggles, and suddenly his hands got a little shakey.
His left hand was on Haru's wrist (though technically it was his own wrist, but he knew....), and his right was directing the bat she was (finally) holding correctly. He was grinning, she was grinning, and Gokudera, trying to hide behind in the stands...was not grinning. Yamamoto shook his head, and pushed all nagging thoughts about Gokudera out of his mind. He turned back to Haru, and smiled.
"So, when you go to swing," he began. He stepped back a few steps, imitating the movements. "Swing it forward like swish--no, a little lower...there you go. Now, when the ball's coming at you, swing, and then hit the ball, like BAM! Hit it out of the park!" he happily explained.
Gokudera didn't stay out of his head for long (even though he supposed that the irony was that he was in Gokudera's head; quite literally), and when Yamamoto sneaked a glance, Gokudera's eyes had gone wide and if he narrowed his eyes just right (Gokudera needed glasses for more than just reading...) he could see him shaking. (Or her? He still couldn't decide.) He looked as though he'd been shown a horrible, and scarring future.
Haru gave a few more practice swings as he walked to the mound, ball in hand. He tossed the ball up and down several times (having removed Gokudera's bracelets--how did he do normal everyday things with those on, anyway?).
"I'm ready, Yamamoto-Sa~n!" Haru called. Her hand waved in the air, smile wide and bright on her face.
"Okay!"
Yamamoto fixated his feet, making sure they were firm in the ground. Even though he was in Gokudera's body, the familiar feeling boiling through him felt good. He brought his arm back, and felt how his mucsles shifted as his arm flew forward, pitching the ball to Haru. He felt his perfect follow through; stood up straight. The rush of blood left his ears just in time to hear the end of Gokudera's 'Idiot--!' and a loud high-pitched 'HAHI!' that SURELY didn't leave his body's mouth. He knew he couldn't ever hit a tone that high.
"YOU IDIOT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU'RE TEACHING BASEBALL--NOT RECRUITING FOR WAR!"
Yamamoto snapped out of his Baseball Mode, and his eyes widened upon seeing Haru standing on Home Plate. She was pale, shaking, and staring at the ball--well, the dent in the fence the ball made.... What was the difference, anyway?
"You shouldn't be afraid of the ball, Haru..." he tried. He heard Gokudera scoff from the bleachers.
"Don't listen to him, Haru! He's an idiot! (Well, you are, too, but at least you're not a baseball nut--even though you look like one.)" Gokudera walked out from behind the bleachers, arms crossed below his chest and scowled in that all-too-familiar-way of his. He joined them, muttering something about, "Can't believe that's my body playing this ridiculous sport," and, "People are gonna get the wrong idea, seeing our bodies out there like that."
Yamamoto furrowed an eyebrow in confusion, but faced Haru. "You can't be afraid of the ball. That's why you have the bat!" he said encouragingly. "To hit it away!" Haru didn't look convinced, staring a little more than apprehensively at the ball in her hand and her grip on Yamamoto's bat was tight. When Yamamoto peeked a glance at Gokudera he found that Gokudera's expression had changed from 'annoyed' to 'amused'. Not a genuine amusement, of course, but more like a discouraging amusement, disheartening Yamamoto's vigor. He sighed, but looked back to Haru with a smile and a, "Let's try again!"
"It's not like she's going to get it."
"She might! She's got the determination to do it, and besides--she's the one who wanted to learn, remember?" Yamamoto smiled.
Gokudera blinked several times, and shook his head. His new hair of pink and purple hues fanned out behind him (It was quite pretty; Yamamoto wondered why he'd never really noticed it on Bianchi before.) as he spun away to go sit instead on the bleachers instead of lurk behind them. Yamamoto watched him walk away, not entirely sure when he'd noticed the swing of hips. (Did Bianchi normally walk like that or was it a Gokudera thing? He did sometimes wear baggy pants....) Yamamoto shook his head, getting all thoughts of Gokudera's body movement and clothing out of his head and instead focusing on the task of teach Haru baseball. Baseball was good. Always good....
Haru shrieked two more times before Gokudera yelled, 'THROW SLOWER BALLS,' and Yamamoto fumbled the third pitch. Instead he found himself falling to the ground in front of him and the ball bouncing towards Haru, who performed some kind of a golf swing with the bat when the ball approached.
"I did it!" she exclaimed. "Haru-Chan did it!" She bounced happily in place, spinning with fists pumping the air. Yamamoto spit dirt and sand from his mouth and sitting up a little bit--almost like a dog. Well... that was humiliating. Star of the Namimori baseball team. Couldn't even throw a pitch. Well, he was in a different body--Gokudera's, at that. He probably did anti-baseball exercises. Yamamoto sighed, shaking earth from his hair and dusting himself off. He heard snickering from Gokudera's direction, and he glanced forlornly in that direction. That was a little unnecessary....
"Good job, Baseball Star; you're just full of faults lately, aren't you?"
Haru stopped her little dance, looking between Gokudera and Yamamoto. She then pouted at Gokudera (so odd to see that look on his own face...) and stomped her foot down. "Gokudera-San! You shouldn't be so mean to Yamamoto-San! He's doing really well in your body! It's your body's fault!" she yelled. She was pointing the bat in Gokudera's direction, looking especially frightening. "You're just jealous of Yamamoto's body, aren't you?!"
There was a screeching sound, like sneakers on aluminum and when Yamamoto glanced he found Gokudera trying to crawl back up between the bleachers, gripping the ends of the cold, silver seats. His face was a bright red, and his hair was everywhere.
"What?!" he demanded. "Me?! Jealous of his b-body?! You're dumber than I thought!"
Haru let Yamamoto's physical face turn a little... scary, if Yamamoto did say so himself. That smirk, and the sudden dark tint to his eyes.... Yamamoto shivered.
"Of course, Gokudera-San," she said. Her smirk grew wider, and she shrugged, her hands palm-up with an, 'I-don't-know-what-you're-talking-about' kind of flair. "If you say so." Haru purposefully (Yamamoto was sure) moved a little more... questionably--which was highly unsettling for Yamamoto. Finally it clicked in his head what Haru must have meant, and recalling Gokudera's comments from earlier made him blush a bright red.
"I do say so--!" Gokudera growled. Yamamoto looked back over to him, trying to fight the blood out of his face but it was becoming futile. Gokudera's arms were still crossed beneath his chest, pushing Bianchi's boobs up and out. ... No! No no no! Chest--but the word was so flat (no pun intended) and 'breasts' was so scientific, and 'bosom' was so old-fashioned--! ... Things. 'Things' should definitely work. 'Gokudera's arms were still crossed beneath his chest, pushing Bianchi's things up and out.' ... It still sounded so wrong.
"Yamamoto-San--! Haru-Chan is ready, again!"
Yamamoto didn't turn, instead just looking at Gokudera (who seemed to finally notice that he was staring at him). Gokudera glared in return, baring a bit of his sister's teeth. Yamamoto gulped. He knew Bianchi was a pretty woman, but having Gokudera's rebellious nature added to it just made it... well, hot.
As a young man, Yamamoto had surely felt urges and he'd never before felt shame in that. He was human, and every man had 'those' moments. (Hell, any creature with a penis.) But now, stuck in another's body, and to feel those urges... that was just downright humiliating; not only for himself (which would admittedly be so much easier) but for Gokudera. He felt blood start to gather, uh, down there, and... it was... it wasn't right! He wasn't sure what he was getting like this over (Bianchi's 'things', Gokudera's attitude, or both?) but it was highly uncomfortable. ... This wasn't going to go away by itself....
He dropped the baseball in his hand, and wrapped an arm across his stomach, faking a cough. "S-sorry, guys--!" he gasped. "Still getting--u-used to this-s!" He began running to the small rest area just at the edge of the field. Haru's calls of concern went unnoticed, but Gokudera's silence was what worried him. Gokudera wasn't dumb; he had to know what his body looked like when that happened.
Once inside the boys' bathroom, Yamamoto hurriedly locked the door behind him. His heart was beating faster than when he hit a home run and ran around the field several times--and it was beating pretty fast then. He gulped, feeling a shiver wrack his--er, Gokudera's... --body. Yamamoto carefully stepped forward further into the bathroom. His mouth went dry, and a bead of sweat rolled down his face. The guilt was already nagging at his conscience, and he hadn't even unbuttoned his pants yet.
☽✩☾
Haru wasn't quite so sure what happened the other day, but now she was lost as all get-out. Yamamoto avoided Gokudera's gaze and left the room each time he entered. Was Gokudera really that mad over Yamamoto-San's having to go to the bathroom? It seemed rather rude to her, but their business was their business. Tsuna-San seemed to be nearly nondetachable from Kyouko-Chan's side; but then, Tsuna-San was in her body and was probably highly uncomfortable. (Of course, she was in Yamamoto-San's, but she wasn't clinging to him like that at all....)
Bianchi-San appeared in the room with a large platter of (admittedly frightening looking) sushi. They were all back in Tsuna-San's room; Yamamoto-San at one end of the room, moving whenever Gokudera-San moved, and Tsuna-San was next to Kyouko-Chan laughing about something. Bianchi set the platter down. Several people donned sickly looks, but all Bianchi had to say was, "Eat up." She leaned against Tsuna-San's wall after serving the rest of the room.
Tsuna-San's and Kyouko-Chan's laughter died out to silence, leaving the room bathed in it and uncomfortable for a few moments. Haru had taken to nibbling the cuff of Yamamoto's shirt during moments like these (there were plenty). The fabric was slightly worn from it.
"... This is stupid."
Haru turned to look at Gokudera on Tsuna's bed. His arms and legs were crossed, his goggles reflecting the light dramatically. He had Bianchi's hair up, and had finally somehow managed to get the makeup on correctly.
"I'm sick of you ignoring me like the plague! What's wrong with you?"
Haru and some of the others shared a wide-eyed stare, before looking back at Gokudera. It was obvious who he was talking to, but shouldn't he be rejoicing over the fact that Yamamoto-San was leaving him alone? He was always complaining about it, after all.
"I dunno what you're talking about."
"Bull. What happened that you feel the need to rush away each time I'm within sight? (Honestly, though, I'm surprised you haven't made an escape this time.)"
Yamamoto turned his head away, a little pink. "Nothing," he muttered into the palm of his hand. He stared determinedly at the base of the wall, where it met the floor. Everyone felt Gokudera's anger rise, and he pulled out a spare stick of dynamite from his belt. (He must have customized Bianchi's....)
Tsuna nearly squeaked in fright (No, no--! They were doing so well before, with the lack of explosions...!), but Haru sat closer to him. This could get ugly.
The dynamite twirled between Gokudera-San's fingers. "It's obviously not 'nothing', or you wouldn't be like this." Gokudera-San was silent for a few moments before he stood. He stomped over to Yamamoto, grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, and dragged him to the door. Yamamoto did not go quietly; he protested rather loudly (fitting for someone in Gokudera-San's body). Haru had always taken Yamamoto-San as someone who knew nothing but calm, but his current actions said otherwise and made Haru re-evaluate her previous judgment.
"Gokudera--stop! Would you leave me alone?!"
Gokudera growled, tightening his grip on Yamamoto's shirt. "No! You obviously won't tell me anything in here! So we're going to another room!" Gokudera continued dragging him along, and kicked Tsuna's door open. Tsuna squealed once more, staring at his broken door in sorrow and horror. ("M-my door...!")
"Pukkya...! L-Lambo-San wasn't doing anything...!"
Haru's eyes widened when she found Lambo standing at the door, staring at Gokudera (to him, Bianchi) with a look similar to Tsuna-San's; though his depressed gaze was fixed on his door, and not on Gokudera. The aforementioned reason of Lambo-Chan's fear glared at him.
"Move, you stupid cow!"
Lambo was nearly petrified. Bianchi had never really spoken to him in that way--well then. Time for her to do her thing.
"Gokudera-San--! Leave Lambo-Chan alone! He didn't do anything!" Haru stood and quickly traveled to pick Lambo up, patting his head and hoping that the tears gathering in the kid's eyes wouldn't spill. She glared at Gokudera. "And leave Yamamoto-San alone, too! He didn't do anything to you either!"
Haru didn't miss the sudden pink haze cover Yamamoto's face, and Gokudera scoffed as though he knew something he shouldn't. "You'd be surprised," he muttered. Yamamoto grit his teeth, glaring down at the floor.
"Actually...."
Haru turned around to Tsuna's window in time with everyone else, finding Reborn-Chan standing on the sill. He had that blank stare directed at Lambo. "He's the one responsible for all of this, remember?"
Haru looked regrettably down at Lambo. "Hnn... well, it's not like he meant to--!" She directed an upset glare at Gokudera. "If it wasn't for Gokudera-San reacting like he always does to a small child then we wouldn't be in this mess! It's all Gokudera-San's fault!"
"It is not, you stupid woman! If the stupid cow hadn't bugged me I wouldn't have gotten mad!"
Gokudera had released his death grip on Yamamoto, allowing him a chance for escape but Gokudera blocked any exit with his leg, keeping him contained. "You're not getting away from me," he growled. His attention was redirected to Lambo and he quickly grabbed him by the back of his outfit. "You dumb bovine! You got us into this! Now find a way to get us out! It's obviously not going to fix itself."
Haru's fists clenched at her sides as soon as Lambo began wailing. "Gokudera-San! Stop yelling at him!"
"No! I'm sick of being stuck in this body! I want mine back!"
"I understand that, but Lambo-Chan's only 5 years old!"
"Haru--! Gokudera-Kun--! Please, stop!"
At Tsuna's request, Haru stopped yelling, but she didn't stop glaring, and Yamamoto grabbed Lambo from Gokudera, handing him off to someone else so Gokudera could continue his staring contest with Haru.
It was only another request from Tsuna that made Haru and Gokudera quit altogether. When Haru refocused, she found Reborn had ventured further into the room, but now he was baiting Lambo. Haru sighed. It would never be over for poor Lambo-Chan. At least with Reborn Lambo didn't cry (until he actually hit him...). Instead they just threatened each other.
Finally Reborn kicked Lambo across the room (though 'finally' probably wasn't the right word...). When Lambo hit the wall, the bazooka fell out of his hair and clattered to the floor. Everyone stared at it for a few moments while Lambo sniffled and slowly reached for it. "Must...! Stay...! Calm...!"
Bianchi reached the bazooka before Lambo, picking it up and peering down the shaft, studying it. "Amazing that this is what stuck me in this puny body."
Haru watched Tsuna blanch.
"What do you expect we do, Reborn?" she asked, setting the purple weapon down beside her. Reborn stood on the table between Tsuna and Kyouko, staring at the bazooka.
"Hn," he snorted. "Find out what made it malfunction. ... Unless you'd rather try it out on yourselves."
No one said anything; what could they say?
"Or we could re-enact history, and throw Lambo into the bazooka." Reborn smirked. "I wouldn't mind that method."
"No, Reborn-Chan!" Haru cried. "We can't throw Lambo-Chan at all!" she insisted.
Reborn fixed his stare on her. "Would you like to be stuck in Yamamoto's body for the rest of your life?" he asked. "How long would you like Kyouko to inhabit yours?"
Haru calmed down considerably. "N-no," she said. "I'd like my body back."
From there everyone silently agreed on Reborn's method. Lambo was unaware (he'd been too busy crying to himself to notice) of the plan and was rightly confused when he was suddenly in Yamamoto's hands, the words 'toss', and 'target' mentioned, and felt himself flying somewhere. Haru winced when an explosion sounded and smoke and dust took over the room for a moment. She coughed, eyes winced, and waved her hand back and forth to clear it around her faster. She blinked her eyes open, blinking them wide, and looked around her to see what happened. Unfortunately the smoke hadn't yet cleared completely, so she opted to look at her hands instead. Upon seeing the rough skin and familiar calluses she sighed. It hadn't worked...!
Before she could say anything, Haru heard some more shuffling, followed by a click, and another explosion. This time, though, she felt her gut tug and felt sicker than she ever had. A serious bought of nausea swept over her and once the dizziness kicked in, her head fell to the table in front of her. She groaned, willing the discomfort to pass. She slowly lifted her head, finding herself at the table in Tsuna's room. There were several 'clunk'ing noises, forcing her to put a little more effort into understanding what was going on again. She opened her eyes blearily, looking at her hands once again, finding them soft, slim, and normal.
"Hahi--! I--! I think we're back to normal--!" she announced happily. She shot her head around around her, finding Kyouko-Chan lying her head on the table, moving a just a little bit. Haru reached her hand on, giving Kyouko-Chan's shoulder a shake. "Kyouko-Chan? Are you okay? Kyouko-Chan...?"
Kyouko looked up at Haru, rubbing her eyes. "Haru-Chan? Are you back to normal?"
Haru smiled widely. "You're back to normal! Tsuna-San?"
She continued calling out everyone's names, making sure they were back in their own bodies. Everyone was accounted for, and Haru clapped in happiness. Tsuna didn't have long to stand once he had before Haru knocked him back to the floor in a hug. She hugged him tightly, but crying reached her ears and she quickly looked around for the source. Her eyes caught sight of Yamamoto dragging Gokudera out of the room, and Lambo looking very... upset and deadly. If it wasn't Lambo, then who was crying? She pinpointed the sound, and found Reborn sniffling and biting his bottom lip.
"Oh, hell no."
Everyone turned to face Lambo.
"L... Lambo...?" Tsuna stuttered. Lambo walked forward and jumped on the table next to Reborn, and flicked his forehead. Lambo shook his head.
"No," he said. "Lambo stole my body. I'm Reborn."
Haru's eyes widened in shock, and she watched Tsuna's face turn completely white. "N... no way...!"
Tsuna's eyes promptly rolled, and he fell backwards with a loud 'fwump'.
"Hahi--! Tsu--! Tsuna-San! Are you okay?!" Haru lunged forward, only to find Tsuna passed out from shock.
Pairing: Slight and teasing hints of 8059 and 27K (and slight teasing hints of others?)
Rating: PG
Word Count: 8,590 8,105 (Sorry, guys... T_T) For coomasieblue's Mini-Bang Challenge! And the picture for this was drawn by ch1zuru~!! ♥♥♥ So much love~! The prompt I chose was Body Swap, so... good luck!! The picture is in this fic, but you can also find it at Neku's art journal, nocturne_rain, by following THIS LINK. (This story was originally so much more confusing before I decided, '... Nawww... they won't be included....' @_@ count yourselves lucky....) AND! many many thanks go to dear Tony (ravenlock_3) for helping me with the ending that would so not be what it is without her!! ♥ Love you, BB~!!
☽✩☾
As per usual, Tsuna wasn't quite sure what had happened. Things were apt to fly over his head and, right now, he wasn't too sure he minded being in the dark. He could understand easy things: simple math, how to speak, the fact that he was the Tenth Boss of the Family Vongola, and the fact that sometimes Lambo overreacted and he switched places with his future self for five minutes.
Simple things.
What he didn't really get at the moment, however, was the current ordeal in which he and several of the others found themselves. Like the fact that his legs felt a little colder than they should or that he felt like he'd just suffered five weeks of a hellish virus.
Upon lifting his head, he found his body was moving differently, and he heard a few groans floating around him after Bianchi's yell of, "STUPID COW!" (?!) and the slam of a door followed after a small Lambo-sized flash of black and white. Tsuna groaned himself, some loose and light honey-colored hair falling in his eyes. He lifted a soft hand to brush it back. His eyes fell on his companions, who seemed to be having issues moving, and were testing out how their arms and legs were supposed to move. (Shouldn't they already know...?!)
Bianchi laid there in a cold sweat, her eyes closed behind yellow-orange goggles and a hand pressed to her forehead. Gokudera was checking his hands out, flipping them over with a confused look; he even grabbed a lock of his hair to gaze at for a moment, before a look of utter amusement crossed his features and he laughed. Yamamoto seemed to be doing the same thing to himself, sans hair-tugging, but remained confused and if anything, slightly worried. Haru looked shocked, looking at her hands, and checking her skirt. He looked all around for Kyouko-Chan but couldn't find her, instead finding himself glaring daggers at Bianchi.
How he was looking at himself as if in third person was confusing as Hell, but more importantly: Where was Kyouko-Chan? Did she accidentally get sent to the future? Where was her future self?! And if they were already 'back', And why hadn't she returned? Surely the five minutes could be squished into five moments?! Tsuna's heart pounded against his chest in worry. He could barely remember his heart ever beating so hard. His hands rested at the top of the small table he sat at and stood up to his knees. His brow was creased in worry.
"Kyouko-Chan! Where did she--?!"
Tsuna stopped himself, his eyes widening, and grabbing at his throat. What was stuck in his throat? His voice was far too high-pitched, wasn't it? Much more than he remembered.
"Kyouko-Chan?"
Tsuna turned to Yamamoto, and he tilted his head slightly. Did Yamamoto just call him 'Kyouko-Chan'? And what was with his inquisitive tone?
"Kyouko-Chan," he continued. "You're right there."
"Yamamoto?!"
Yamamoto's eyes widened, and his hands came up to guard infront of him. "Hahi--! Of course I'm not! I mean, I don't think I am. No! I'm Haru!" Yamamoto's hands formed upright fists, proclaiming he was Haru, though he looked and sounded like Yamamoto. His actions were a little feminine, but....
"Haru?! But--! No--! And, I'm--! I'm...!"
Tsuna paused a moment, looking back to where he saw himself before he began worrying about Kyouko. Instead of glaring at Bianchi he was now glaring completely and totally at himself--he was glaring at himself! ...What?! Tsuna fell back in surprise; his arms reached out behind him to catch himself. His body was awkward in movement, and when he looked forward he found two slim, smooth and silky legs in front of him, protruding from his skirt.
...
As stated above (see paragraph 1; sentence 3.2), Tsuna was fine with simple math. 1+1=2, 2+2=4, etc, etc. But, he was pretty sure that none of what was happening added up to him wearing a skirt. Tsuna sat up straight, and looked at his legs; they were nothing like he remembered! His legs were not nice looking, or smooth! He was a teenage boy! His legs were not attractive! They had a light covering of hair! Not this Venus Fresh-glide feeling! (Oh, but he pressed a hand to a shin, and boy, were his legs soft...!) But then, the skirt.... Oh, the skirt! Why was he wearing a SKIRT? He grabbed at it with his nicely manicured hands and nearly facefaulted at finding something (or somethings) on his chest obscuring his vision.
"N-No waaaaay!!" he yelled, in his brand new high-pitched voice. He stumbled clumsily to his feet and made it an entire foot to his door before he lost balance in his new body and began falling to his table. Bianchi jumped up, straightening her back and stared worriedly at him--her--him.... (Him. Definitely 'him'.) Gokudera's eyes widened just a little, reaching out a bit, and Yamamoto's hands flew to his mouth with a sharp intake of breath and a, "Watch out--Kyou--!"
Unfortunately, Tsuna hit the table face-first before Yamamoto's warning could have any kind of effect other than to sufficiently worry Tsuna further. His forehead hit with a 'bang', followed by the rest of his body crashing down. Tsuna would be used to the pain (he was 'No Good Tsuna' for a reason), but this particular crash hurt more than the others. Yamamoto hurried up along with...himself, Tsuna...to help him to his feet.
"I think..." Tsuna began. "...Something's not right...."
☽✩☾
No one was quite sure what to do, but one thing was certain:
It was weird.
Eventually, Tsuna made sure everyone was okay because these were his friends. But more importantly he wanted to make sure he wasn't going crazy, which he most definitely thought he was. And here he had begun to believe that Vongola was normal. If it was normal at all, Tsuna would hate to have to find a new category for what just happened.
He called out, "Gokudera-Kun!", as though calling roll. Bianchi sat up and raised a hand, wrapping the other arm across her front. Her forehead fell to the desk, her hair falling in a damp curtain to obscure her face. Tsuna felt his face pale; it wasn't just him that this had happened to.
"Um... I'll... actually--here; paper..." he mumbled, digging through the nearest book bag (which he knew wasn't his due to the presence of tampons.... He blushed.) He found a spare piece of paper and a pencil tucked neatly away. It took a moment but after a few scribbles on the side his hand became accustomed to the new feeling. "Gokudera-Kun...." His fingers sloppily wrote out Gokudera's name, followed by an arrow where he wrote out 'Bianchi'.
"Ah...Ya-Yamamoto...?" he called next. He looked up and found Goku--er, Gokudera's body shooting a hand up with a large smile on his face.
Yamamoto's enthusiastic, "Yo!" was joined with a disparaging groan from Bianchi's fatigued body.
Finally, fifteen minutes later, Tsuna had some kind of a list.
Kyouko=>Haru
Haru=>Yamamoto
Yamamoto=>Gokudera
Gokudera=>Bianchi
Looking through the list so far, his mind began swimming. All these people...it always happened to him and his friends! Why not other people? He could imagine it being worse if Hibari-San was mixed in--say if he became Bianchi, or even I-Pin. He'd be a Femme Fatale! The thought alone was dangerous, and could give nightmares. ... Tsuna wasn't quite so sure he knew how to piss his pants now that it seemed he was in a female body, but he didn't think it would take too long to learn. Thankfully his pants--er, panties--stayed dry.
Haru, upon finding out she was not in her own body and Kyouko-Chan inhabited hers, sighed in relief, glad that no boy had inhabited her body (despite the fact she was now in Yamamoto's, of course).
At his table sat Yamamoto, Gokudera, and Bianchi's bodies, but their mannerisms had changed, making it seem much more believable that in Yamamoto's body was Haru, in Gokudera's Yamamoto, and Gokudera in Bianchi's. (Poor Gokudera....) Tsuna didn't really have much to say to comfort the older boy/girl/he-gave-up-on-picking-a-gender. What could he say, anyway? 'Don't worry, it'll be okay?' He hardly thought so. Gokudera had a hard enough time being within ten feet of his sister, but now for him to be trapped within her.... Odd. At least he couldn't see his new face unless he looked in the mirror.
"Hey, Gokudera--are you all right?" Yamamoto asked from within the Italian's body. How strange it was for it to look like someone was talking literally to themselves. A hand landed on Gokudera's back, rubbing in small circles; Gokudera visibly flinched a little bit and scooted another entire inch away, but Yamamoto just scooted closer with a smile. Seeing that happy smile of Yamamoto's on Gokudera's face, Tsuna was... more than slightly disturbed, but then again he was stuck in a female body so he supposed he couldn't talk too much.... Haru left the table to go sit with Kyouko-Chan. It was... cute, almost, to see (visually) Yamamoto and Haru sitting together talking (though... Yamamoto's now-feminine actions and way-of-speech were something to get used to). Bianchi stood in Tsuna's stolen body and went downstairs, "To cook something up."
Not with my body...!
When the real Yamamoto stopped scooting and kept rubbing, Gokudera forced his sister's head up, and glared at his possessed body. There was a slight sheen of perspiration over his forehead, and he panted lightly. "You...!" he growled. It was odd to hear Bianchi's voice be released in something other than her usual soft and seductive tones. Tsuna watched Gokudera's eyes narrow and watched him shake his head. A hand came up, and ripped off Bianchi's goggles with a mumbled, "How does she see with these things on?!"
"There--now I can see you better so I call yell at you properly!" His head shot back to Yamamoto and he opened his lip-sticked mouth (which was WEIRD) to yell some more. Yet, time stilled for those few seconds where Yamamoto's and Gokudera's eyes caught. Yamamoto's disturbingly innocent eyes widened with a sharp intake of breath, and Gokudera's eyes widened in surprise as Yamamoto doubled over choking.
"Ya-Yamamoto...!" Tsuna yelled. Yamamoto was clutching his stomach, a forearm in front of him supporting his upper-body weight on the ground. Tsuna jumped up to his friend's side. "Yamamoto--! Are you okay?!"
Gokudera stared with his lips slightly parted, surprised.
"Guuuuhhh...!" he moaned. Now it sounded as if Gokudera was still in his own body. "Go... kudera...! Is this what it feels... like each time...?" Yamamoto asked, strained. He coughed several times. "I think... I'm gonna...-- Sorry, Tsuna--!"
Yamamoto was standing and rushing out faster than anyone had seen Gokudera move in regards to Bianchi. They heard the bathroom door slam shut, and that was the end of that. Tsuna turned his head to see Gokudera staring at his hands and the goggles with wonder.
"Gokudera-Kun...? Is something wrong...?"
"'Wrong'? Tenth..." he began. the softer tones Tsuna was used to hearing from Bianchi's body returned. Gokudera's head dropped, hair obscuring his face once more. Tsuna heard what sounded like small, muffled sobs escape and he stood to go comfort Gokudera. "This power...." He made it two and a half steps when Gokudera's head shot back, hair flipping in a wave. A manical smiled adorned his face and his new... erm... chest... heaved up and down with mad laughter. "I FINALLY HAVE THE POWER TO BRING YAMAMOTO TO HIS KNEES! I HAVE DEFEATED HIM!"
Tsuna gulped and could have sworn that he heard a crash of thunder somewhere in the distance.
☽✩☾
After managing to convince an entirely-too-excited Gokudera to keep the goggles on and not try to completely incapacitate his good friend Yamamoto (the 'good friend' part was especially emphasized), the first order of business that needed to be taken care of was Yamamoto. He came out of the bathroom looking worse for wear: Almost as white as Lambo's milk and with his now-silver hair dampened and not-so-shiny, he didn't look in top-physical condition as either Gokudera or Yamamoto himself usually looked. Tsuna jumped to his feet (still getting used to maneuvering Kyouko-Chan's body) and, making sure his skirt didn't fly up (how did girls keep them down?!), he readied his bed for Yamamoto to recover on.
Haru and (the real) Kyouko left the room to go find (read: comfort) Lambo when Yamamoto fell on the bed, groaning and still clutching his abdomen. "Yamamoto!" Tsuna called. "Are you feeling any better?!" His voice cracked girlishly, but now was hardly the time to focus on that. He had Yamamoto's current health to worry about.
Yamamoto attempted a grin, but it was mostly a failure. "I'm--fine...!" he gasped. Yamamoto's lie didn't go unnoticed, and Gokudera stood, fixing the goggles and keeping his face from Yamamoto as best he could. ('Tenth's orders.... Tenth's orders...!')
"I'll be right back, Tenth," he groused. "I'll go get a wet cloth for him."
With no answer, Gokudera left the room (not that Tsuna would have stopped him, anyway) and returned just a moment later with a warm, damp, wash cloth. He passed Tsuna and knelt down on the floor to arrange the cloth on Yamamoto's forehead. "If you honestly think you're going to throw up again, I suggest you run really quick back to the bathroom, because there's no way in Heaven or Hell I'll let you throw up on the Tenth's bed."
Yamamoto attempted another chuckle. "No worries, Gokudera. I think I got it out." He wriggled a bit more and groaned. "Man, is this what you feel like every time?" Yamamoto asked.
Gokudera shrugged, standing. Tsuna was amused at how similar the pose was to Bianchi's. "Not to that extreme. It probably has to do with you not being used to it, and then I always expect it on some level."
"But, Gokudera-Kun--you're stuck in Bianchi's body," Tsuna said. "What about you? Aren't you a little...queasy?"
Tsuna and Yamamoto focused their stares on Gokudera. He blinked back at them.
"A little, I suppose. But, I haven't seen my sister's face yet; I'm just in her body. But, even so... that reaction is a bodily reaction, and not as much a psychological one. I'll probably be okay after a little bit. Probably."
There were two 'mm's, and a nod before Haru (Tsuna had to remind himself it was NOT Yamamoto) poked back in. "Tsuna-San, I have a question..." she began, hesitantly. Tsuna turned to find her messing with the bottom hem of Yamamoto's shirt.
"What is it, Haru?"
Haru blushed, and bit her bottom lip (again Tsuna wondered why it was so disturbing to see it as Yamamoto doing it). "Um...! How...how will we...take showers...?"
There were several moments in which eyes widened, gazes fell to the floor, and cheeks became a bright pink. It took all Tsuna had to prevent a nosebleed--that, and a sudden 'flump' sound from where Gokudera stoo--
Er...lay. From where Gokudera lay, unconscious and twitching.
☽✩☾
Reborn arrived half an hour later when they gave up hope of the (normal) time limit of... kicking in.
Tsuna greeted him with the real Haru and real Bianchi. Bianchi's eyes widened in absolute joy.
"Oh, Reborn--! You're still the same!" she rejoiced. She lunged forward, hugging Reborn as though she herself had been struck with the Dying Will bullet (meant for the body she was in). Tsuna grimaced at the sight of himself hugging Reborn in such a manner. If it was him inside that body he'd be dead.
Once Bianchi had given her fill of love and set Reborn down, the pint-size assassin peered up looking at Tsuna. The discomfort Tsuna felt at Reborn's large black eyes drilling into his was immense; all Tsuna could think of to do was run because really--what would Reborn say, or do, or think?! (He was more worried about 'do' in concerns to the small hit man....) He felt his legs trembling, and he kept his hand clenched tight at his sides. He tried so hard, willing his legs to move and run away before Reborn tried to hurt him in some new fashion, but, really: What were women's legs made out of, anyway?! Lead?!
One second Reborn was still and unmoving, and the next all Reborn had done was open his mouth and Tsuna had his hands flying infront of him.
"...It really is No Good Tsuna in there," Reborn remarked. "You're disgracing Kyouko's image. And besides," he continued with a smirk. "I wouldn't mark Kyouko's body with an injury meant for you."
"Re-Reborn...!" Tsuna wailed, falling to his knees. "I--!"
"You need to make the most of this opportunity," Reborn told him. Tsuna's eyes narrowed, and he went to yell, but Reborn interrupted him. "Not everyone gets to experience life as both genders, let alone mafia bosses. You can learn a lot from this."
"But--! I don't want to be a girl!" he stressed. "Let alone Kyouko-Chan! It's not right! If I wanted to be a girl I'd get a sex-change!" Tsuna leaned forward slightly, so his face wasn't far from Reborn's. "What could this possibly teach me?!"
"Tolerance," Reborn said simply. "Respect."
Tsuna blinked, amazed. As if he didn't have enough to tolerate! He had baby hit men living in his house, his self-proclaimed Right Hand Man was close to becoming a pyromaniac, and his house couldn't stand in one piece for more than a week anymore. Tolerance. He could show Reborn a thing or two about tolerance....
"Suck it up and be man. Well..." Reborn grabbed the brim of his fedora, then looked Tsuna straight in the eye. "As much as you can, at least."
"This has become boring," Bianchi remarked. She stood up from beside Reborn, and began making her way to the kitchen with an, "I wonder how the food's coming along...."
Bianchi passed, Haru following after her. Tsuna sat up, trying to stop glaring at Reborn because that kind of face just shouldn't be on Kyouko-Chan's nice features. 'Learn a lot', Reborn said. Sure.... "Reborn...are you really getting this at all? I'm stuck in Kyouko-Chan's body. How am I supposed to do what I do? How do I shower? What do I do for school? And... how do I go to the bathroom?!" The last question was whispered almost silently, and with a fresh screen of red over Tsuna's face.
"Don't be so selfish, No Good Tsuna. You're not the only one who's changed. This happened to your family, too. Figure it out for them before yourself."
Those statements brought Tsuna's anger down only a little, and he realized that the others had the same predicament; they had to be uncomfortable, too. Especially the girls and Gokudera-Kun. He groaned, and carefully brought his knees up to his chin. It was difficult--how did girls manage with skirts?! "Yes, Reborn, I got it. I'm sorry. But...." Tsuna stood up, nearly tripping once again. He felt his face warm up again and he asked, "How...how do I take a shower...?"
He looked expectantly at Reborn but all he got in return half a second later was a snot bubble. W-what?! Here when Tsuna needed him in quite possibly the strangest occurrence yet, and he fell asleep! Some 'tutor'! Some 'hit man'! Fine! He'd figure it out on his own, and then brag about it to Reborn. Of course, Reborn would probably find something in said bragging to yell at Tsuna about. He turned on his heel to head back upstairs. Things needed to be resolved, and now.
☽✩☾
Before the day had ended, only one thing was successfully figured out:
They'd all be scrunched together in the living room, sleeping in a tight space, and Tsuna refused to try and wonder just who he was going to be squashed under when he woke up in the morning. But there was one problem.
They couldn't safely go to Kyouko-Chan's house for a change of clothes, which meant... shopping. For clothes. Girly clothes. And he had to go with Kyouko-Chan herself--! Since she was in Haru's body and had to do shopping for Haru, as well, since Haru was in Yamamoto's body and it would be awkward for people to see Yamamoto looking to buy girls' panties. Scary.... He changed into a pair of his pants instead of staying the skirt; that would take some getting used to.... (He made sure to look away and not stare at Kyouko-Chan's legs in the mirror--!) As for Kyouko-Chan's shirts, he just took off the wool pull-over of the uniform top, leaving the dress shirt in place. He tried fixing the bow, but he couldn't get it to tie correctly so ended up just leaving it off.
For Tsuna, hanging out with Kyouko as a guy was hard enough, but to hang out with her... in her body... when she looked like Haru.... Talk about awkward. Of course, it wasn't until they stood infront of the panties display that he realized that Kyouko-Chan could probably have gone shopping for both him and herself.
So, why Tsuna had been dragged into this (Reborn) he'd really rather not think of, and just... get it over with. It was for the best.
There were all kinds of panties... so many kinds...! There were pink ones, blue ones, polka-dotted ones, striped ones, ones with chibi-fied anime and manga characters on them. Panties with English written on them, panties with lace, and panties with a noticeable lack of lace (and a very large and unsettling lack of fabric altogether...). Tsuna willed himself to stay calm and surprisingly enough it was easier than usual. Maybe it was being in a girl's body? Whatever it was, he was glad he didn't have to worry about dripping blood over Kyouko-Chan's shirt.... Kyouko-Chan grabbed a few packages of some light purple and light green panties with a large blush on her face. Tsuna glanced away, nearly ashamed of himself. This was Kyouko-Chan's personal business, and here he was, stuck in her body, invading that business. It was uncomfortable and Tsuna almost wanted to die. He almost did die when they had to search for bras.
He would never in his life call this a date. Here he was, finally alone with Kyouko-Chan, and.... He sighed. Karma was not his friend.
After the shopping was done, however, Tsuna could relax, and have a fun time. The two headed to the downtown area of Namimori (not far from Tsuna's house) to buy some chocolate crepes. Sitting down and nibbling on them, they spoke about how absolutely strange the new assistant in the school office was (of course, Kyouko-Chan made fun of him in a polite way), and then played a few games in the arcade. (No Good Tsuna got the crap beaten out of him, but he admitted his defeat instead of taking the normal-guy route and saying, 'Aw, I let you win.' Not that... he was exactly a 'normal guy' at the moment.)
They were walking by a picture booth when Kyouko stopped him, saying, "Oh, Tsuna-Kun--we should take some pictures! What do you think?"
Tsuna felt his cheeks brighten and he smiled. "I... I think that'd be fun," he said. He pulled several hundred yen out of his pocket, counting out the 600 he'd need. "Come on!" he called, taking their bags (with panties, bras, and... other girly things) with him into the booth. Kyouko-Chan followed after, giggling. She played with a few of the settings once Tsuna entered the fee, and true to form the camera was quick, catching Tsuna off guard and blinding him momentarily. Kyouko-Chan laughed, pressing into him with a smile. Tsuna blushed heavily, grinning. He finally smiled widely, joining in with Kyouko-Chan's laughter and took the pictures properly.
On the way out of the booth, Kyouko-Chan grabbed the strip of pictures. "Oh, Tsuna-Kun, these are the nicest pictures I've seen of you; you're smiling, and having a good time!" she said. "Look...!"
Kyouko-Chan held the small pictures out to him, and Tsuna chuckled half-heartedly. He was with Kyouko-Chan. How could he not have been having a good time?! "Heh-heh..." he began, sheepishly. "I um, it's only because I look like you right now, you know! And--and you still seem the same in the picture, even though you look like Haru." For a moment, Tsuna thought the comment could have a negative outcome, so he quickly tacked a, "I mean--! I think it's really admirable that you can still be Kyouko-Chan in Haru's body, whereas I... um... yeah." Tsuna turned his face from Kyouko-Chan. She hadn't said anything; she just grabbed his hand with a 'thank you', and walked home alongside him, grinning and giggling.
☽✩☾
Two days had passed since Gokudera had been stuck in his sister's body, and they weren't great. He'd had to somehow figure out how to clean himself (it took him several tries), and then to try and forget his newly acquired girly parts that he'd really rather not have.... He shivered. He had no idea how to put any of his sister's bras on, or how to apply her makeup, and not being able to look in the mirror for fear of passing out he was sure he'd managed to make Bianchi look like a buzzed and homeless drug dealer from the ghetto.
He, the Tenth, and the others had been instructed by Reborn to not go to school--grades would go haywire, and people could slip up on the confusion with names--so they were to stay hidden somewhere during the day (at least). The baseball nut insisted he go and stay at his own house for the day and Gokudera had been ready to say 'Absolutely not, you retard,' but Yamamoto made a comeback consisting of the words, 'free', and 'food'.
Gokudera wasn't exactly hurting for money, but the allure of those words was too much to pass up. Granted, Yamamoto rejoiced, but Gokudera could come up with an excuse other than, 'free food'.
"How else am I going to make sure you don't do inappropriate things to my body, huh?" he said.
Yamamoto's face turned red and his eyes widened. "No way, Gokudera...! Why would I--?! No! I swear!"
"Then why are you trying to come up with an excuse like that with your face that color? Pervert," he muttered walking into Takezushi. Yamamoto followed, still insisting otherwise. Gokudera tuned him out, flipping his sister's hair behind his shoulder (of course, it was in a very manly fashion that would never be mistaken for 'feminine') and all but demanded that Yamamoto get behind the counter and prepare some sushi. "It better be free, too. You said it was free and if I'm going to be stuck here, babysitting you, I can take it as compensation. ...Unless it tastes as shitty as usual."
So, Yamamoto shrugged, grin back in place and all perverted comments to the side, and went about his way preparing sushi for himself and Gokudera. He joined Gokudera a few minutes later on the stool next to him, and began to talk about the most random things. Gokudera had a half a mind to take any intelligence points off of Yamamoto's score, shoving the next piece of sushi in his mouth. Even though he hated it. It wasn't like he normally went to Takezushi, oh no....
"Yamamoto-San!"
Yamamoto spun around in his stool as the tail of a piece of shrimp stuck out of his mouth. Gokudera craned his head back to see who was there, and upon seeing Haru standing there in Yamamoto's body he groaned. Gokudera rolled his goggled eyes; just what he needed. Idiot 1 and Idiot 2 in the same place.
"Haru! Hi!" he smiled. He swallowed down the shrimp, rice, and whatever the baseball nut smothered on it. Wasabi. Gokudera shivered. Couldn't Yamamoto show even the tiniest hint of respect for his body? He could at least chew his food. ...Weren't the Japanese supposed to be kind and polite like that? Slow, and thoughtful, and taking everything in? Enjoying what they ate, to get each flavor out of their food?
...But, he supposed stereotypes could only be based on truth; not necessarily true.
Gokudera focused on his food again, sipping now on his green tea, and listening in on the conversation.
"Um, I was wondering, Yamamoto-San. Would you teach me to play baseball?"
Gokudera promptly spat out his tea over the last piece of his sushi, and over the counter.
☽✩☾
It was a glare. Most definitely a glare. It wasn't just a narrowed gaze, or squinted eyes from the sunlight. It was a glare.
Yamamoto could feel the glare from behind those tinted goggles, and suddenly his hands got a little shakey.
His left hand was on Haru's wrist (though technically it was his own wrist, but he knew....), and his right was directing the bat she was (finally) holding correctly. He was grinning, she was grinning, and Gokudera, trying to hide behind in the stands...was not grinning. Yamamoto shook his head, and pushed all nagging thoughts about Gokudera out of his mind. He turned back to Haru, and smiled.
"So, when you go to swing," he began. He stepped back a few steps, imitating the movements. "Swing it forward like swish--no, a little lower...there you go. Now, when the ball's coming at you, swing, and then hit the ball, like BAM! Hit it out of the park!" he happily explained.
Gokudera didn't stay out of his head for long (even though he supposed that the irony was that he was in Gokudera's head; quite literally), and when Yamamoto sneaked a glance, Gokudera's eyes had gone wide and if he narrowed his eyes just right (Gokudera needed glasses for more than just reading...) he could see him shaking. (Or her? He still couldn't decide.) He looked as though he'd been shown a horrible, and scarring future.
Haru gave a few more practice swings as he walked to the mound, ball in hand. He tossed the ball up and down several times (having removed Gokudera's bracelets--how did he do normal everyday things with those on, anyway?).
"I'm ready, Yamamoto-Sa~n!" Haru called. Her hand waved in the air, smile wide and bright on her face.
"Okay!"
Yamamoto fixated his feet, making sure they were firm in the ground. Even though he was in Gokudera's body, the familiar feeling boiling through him felt good. He brought his arm back, and felt how his mucsles shifted as his arm flew forward, pitching the ball to Haru. He felt his perfect follow through; stood up straight. The rush of blood left his ears just in time to hear the end of Gokudera's 'Idiot--!' and a loud high-pitched 'HAHI!' that SURELY didn't leave his body's mouth. He knew he couldn't ever hit a tone that high.
"YOU IDIOT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU'RE TEACHING BASEBALL--NOT RECRUITING FOR WAR!"
Yamamoto snapped out of his Baseball Mode, and his eyes widened upon seeing Haru standing on Home Plate. She was pale, shaking, and staring at the ball--well, the dent in the fence the ball made.... What was the difference, anyway?
"You shouldn't be afraid of the ball, Haru..." he tried. He heard Gokudera scoff from the bleachers.
"Don't listen to him, Haru! He's an idiot! (Well, you are, too, but at least you're not a baseball nut--even though you look like one.)" Gokudera walked out from behind the bleachers, arms crossed below his chest and scowled in that all-too-familiar-way of his. He joined them, muttering something about, "Can't believe that's my body playing this ridiculous sport," and, "People are gonna get the wrong idea, seeing our bodies out there like that."
Yamamoto furrowed an eyebrow in confusion, but faced Haru. "You can't be afraid of the ball. That's why you have the bat!" he said encouragingly. "To hit it away!" Haru didn't look convinced, staring a little more than apprehensively at the ball in her hand and her grip on Yamamoto's bat was tight. When Yamamoto peeked a glance at Gokudera he found that Gokudera's expression had changed from 'annoyed' to 'amused'. Not a genuine amusement, of course, but more like a discouraging amusement, disheartening Yamamoto's vigor. He sighed, but looked back to Haru with a smile and a, "Let's try again!"
"It's not like she's going to get it."
"She might! She's got the determination to do it, and besides--she's the one who wanted to learn, remember?" Yamamoto smiled.
Gokudera blinked several times, and shook his head. His new hair of pink and purple hues fanned out behind him (It was quite pretty; Yamamoto wondered why he'd never really noticed it on Bianchi before.) as he spun away to go sit instead on the bleachers instead of lurk behind them. Yamamoto watched him walk away, not entirely sure when he'd noticed the swing of hips. (Did Bianchi normally walk like that or was it a Gokudera thing? He did sometimes wear baggy pants....) Yamamoto shook his head, getting all thoughts of Gokudera's body movement and clothing out of his head and instead focusing on the task of teach Haru baseball. Baseball was good. Always good....
Haru shrieked two more times before Gokudera yelled, 'THROW SLOWER BALLS,' and Yamamoto fumbled the third pitch. Instead he found himself falling to the ground in front of him and the ball bouncing towards Haru, who performed some kind of a golf swing with the bat when the ball approached.
"I did it!" she exclaimed. "Haru-Chan did it!" She bounced happily in place, spinning with fists pumping the air. Yamamoto spit dirt and sand from his mouth and sitting up a little bit--almost like a dog. Well... that was humiliating. Star of the Namimori baseball team. Couldn't even throw a pitch. Well, he was in a different body--Gokudera's, at that. He probably did anti-baseball exercises. Yamamoto sighed, shaking earth from his hair and dusting himself off. He heard snickering from Gokudera's direction, and he glanced forlornly in that direction. That was a little unnecessary....
"Good job, Baseball Star; you're just full of faults lately, aren't you?"
Haru stopped her little dance, looking between Gokudera and Yamamoto. She then pouted at Gokudera (so odd to see that look on his own face...) and stomped her foot down. "Gokudera-San! You shouldn't be so mean to Yamamoto-San! He's doing really well in your body! It's your body's fault!" she yelled. She was pointing the bat in Gokudera's direction, looking especially frightening. "You're just jealous of Yamamoto's body, aren't you?!"
There was a screeching sound, like sneakers on aluminum and when Yamamoto glanced he found Gokudera trying to crawl back up between the bleachers, gripping the ends of the cold, silver seats. His face was a bright red, and his hair was everywhere.
"What?!" he demanded. "Me?! Jealous of his b-body?! You're dumber than I thought!"
Haru let Yamamoto's physical face turn a little... scary, if Yamamoto did say so himself. That smirk, and the sudden dark tint to his eyes.... Yamamoto shivered.
"Of course, Gokudera-San," she said. Her smirk grew wider, and she shrugged, her hands palm-up with an, 'I-don't-know-what-you're-talking-about' kind of flair. "If you say so." Haru purposefully (Yamamoto was sure) moved a little more... questionably--which was highly unsettling for Yamamoto. Finally it clicked in his head what Haru must have meant, and recalling Gokudera's comments from earlier made him blush a bright red.
"I do say so--!" Gokudera growled. Yamamoto looked back over to him, trying to fight the blood out of his face but it was becoming futile. Gokudera's arms were still crossed beneath his chest, pushing Bianchi's boobs up and out. ... No! No no no! Chest--but the word was so flat (no pun intended) and 'breasts' was so scientific, and 'bosom' was so old-fashioned--! ... Things. 'Things' should definitely work. 'Gokudera's arms were still crossed beneath his chest, pushing Bianchi's things up and out.' ... It still sounded so wrong.
"Yamamoto-San--! Haru-Chan is ready, again!"
Yamamoto didn't turn, instead just looking at Gokudera (who seemed to finally notice that he was staring at him). Gokudera glared in return, baring a bit of his sister's teeth. Yamamoto gulped. He knew Bianchi was a pretty woman, but having Gokudera's rebellious nature added to it just made it... well, hot.
As a young man, Yamamoto had surely felt urges and he'd never before felt shame in that. He was human, and every man had 'those' moments. (Hell, any creature with a penis.) But now, stuck in another's body, and to feel those urges... that was just downright humiliating; not only for himself (which would admittedly be so much easier) but for Gokudera. He felt blood start to gather, uh, down there, and... it was... it wasn't right! He wasn't sure what he was getting like this over (Bianchi's 'things', Gokudera's attitude, or both?) but it was highly uncomfortable. ... This wasn't going to go away by itself....
He dropped the baseball in his hand, and wrapped an arm across his stomach, faking a cough. "S-sorry, guys--!" he gasped. "Still getting--u-used to this-s!" He began running to the small rest area just at the edge of the field. Haru's calls of concern went unnoticed, but Gokudera's silence was what worried him. Gokudera wasn't dumb; he had to know what his body looked like when that happened.
Once inside the boys' bathroom, Yamamoto hurriedly locked the door behind him. His heart was beating faster than when he hit a home run and ran around the field several times--and it was beating pretty fast then. He gulped, feeling a shiver wrack his--er, Gokudera's... --body. Yamamoto carefully stepped forward further into the bathroom. His mouth went dry, and a bead of sweat rolled down his face. The guilt was already nagging at his conscience, and he hadn't even unbuttoned his pants yet.
☽✩☾
Haru wasn't quite so sure what happened the other day, but now she was lost as all get-out. Yamamoto avoided Gokudera's gaze and left the room each time he entered. Was Gokudera really that mad over Yamamoto-San's having to go to the bathroom? It seemed rather rude to her, but their business was their business. Tsuna-San seemed to be nearly nondetachable from Kyouko-Chan's side; but then, Tsuna-San was in her body and was probably highly uncomfortable. (Of course, she was in Yamamoto-San's, but she wasn't clinging to him like that at all....)
Bianchi-San appeared in the room with a large platter of (admittedly frightening looking) sushi. They were all back in Tsuna-San's room; Yamamoto-San at one end of the room, moving whenever Gokudera-San moved, and Tsuna-San was next to Kyouko-Chan laughing about something. Bianchi set the platter down. Several people donned sickly looks, but all Bianchi had to say was, "Eat up." She leaned against Tsuna-San's wall after serving the rest of the room.
Tsuna-San's and Kyouko-Chan's laughter died out to silence, leaving the room bathed in it and uncomfortable for a few moments. Haru had taken to nibbling the cuff of Yamamoto's shirt during moments like these (there were plenty). The fabric was slightly worn from it.
"... This is stupid."
Haru turned to look at Gokudera on Tsuna's bed. His arms and legs were crossed, his goggles reflecting the light dramatically. He had Bianchi's hair up, and had finally somehow managed to get the makeup on correctly.
"I'm sick of you ignoring me like the plague! What's wrong with you?"
Haru and some of the others shared a wide-eyed stare, before looking back at Gokudera. It was obvious who he was talking to, but shouldn't he be rejoicing over the fact that Yamamoto-San was leaving him alone? He was always complaining about it, after all.
"I dunno what you're talking about."
"Bull. What happened that you feel the need to rush away each time I'm within sight? (Honestly, though, I'm surprised you haven't made an escape this time.)"
Yamamoto turned his head away, a little pink. "Nothing," he muttered into the palm of his hand. He stared determinedly at the base of the wall, where it met the floor. Everyone felt Gokudera's anger rise, and he pulled out a spare stick of dynamite from his belt. (He must have customized Bianchi's....)
Tsuna nearly squeaked in fright (No, no--! They were doing so well before, with the lack of explosions...!), but Haru sat closer to him. This could get ugly.
The dynamite twirled between Gokudera-San's fingers. "It's obviously not 'nothing', or you wouldn't be like this." Gokudera-San was silent for a few moments before he stood. He stomped over to Yamamoto, grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, and dragged him to the door. Yamamoto did not go quietly; he protested rather loudly (fitting for someone in Gokudera-San's body). Haru had always taken Yamamoto-San as someone who knew nothing but calm, but his current actions said otherwise and made Haru re-evaluate her previous judgment.
"Gokudera--stop! Would you leave me alone?!"
Gokudera growled, tightening his grip on Yamamoto's shirt. "No! You obviously won't tell me anything in here! So we're going to another room!" Gokudera continued dragging him along, and kicked Tsuna's door open. Tsuna squealed once more, staring at his broken door in sorrow and horror. ("M-my door...!")
"Pukkya...! L-Lambo-San wasn't doing anything...!"
Haru's eyes widened when she found Lambo standing at the door, staring at Gokudera (to him, Bianchi) with a look similar to Tsuna-San's; though his depressed gaze was fixed on his door, and not on Gokudera. The aforementioned reason of Lambo-Chan's fear glared at him.
"Move, you stupid cow!"
Lambo was nearly petrified. Bianchi had never really spoken to him in that way--well then. Time for her to do her thing.
"Gokudera-San--! Leave Lambo-Chan alone! He didn't do anything!" Haru stood and quickly traveled to pick Lambo up, patting his head and hoping that the tears gathering in the kid's eyes wouldn't spill. She glared at Gokudera. "And leave Yamamoto-San alone, too! He didn't do anything to you either!"
Haru didn't miss the sudden pink haze cover Yamamoto's face, and Gokudera scoffed as though he knew something he shouldn't. "You'd be surprised," he muttered. Yamamoto grit his teeth, glaring down at the floor.
"Actually...."
Haru turned around to Tsuna's window in time with everyone else, finding Reborn-Chan standing on the sill. He had that blank stare directed at Lambo. "He's the one responsible for all of this, remember?"
Haru looked regrettably down at Lambo. "Hnn... well, it's not like he meant to--!" She directed an upset glare at Gokudera. "If it wasn't for Gokudera-San reacting like he always does to a small child then we wouldn't be in this mess! It's all Gokudera-San's fault!"
"It is not, you stupid woman! If the stupid cow hadn't bugged me I wouldn't have gotten mad!"
Gokudera had released his death grip on Yamamoto, allowing him a chance for escape but Gokudera blocked any exit with his leg, keeping him contained. "You're not getting away from me," he growled. His attention was redirected to Lambo and he quickly grabbed him by the back of his outfit. "You dumb bovine! You got us into this! Now find a way to get us out! It's obviously not going to fix itself."
Haru's fists clenched at her sides as soon as Lambo began wailing. "Gokudera-San! Stop yelling at him!"
"No! I'm sick of being stuck in this body! I want mine back!"
"I understand that, but Lambo-Chan's only 5 years old!"
"Haru--! Gokudera-Kun--! Please, stop!"
At Tsuna's request, Haru stopped yelling, but she didn't stop glaring, and Yamamoto grabbed Lambo from Gokudera, handing him off to someone else so Gokudera could continue his staring contest with Haru.
It was only another request from Tsuna that made Haru and Gokudera quit altogether. When Haru refocused, she found Reborn had ventured further into the room, but now he was baiting Lambo. Haru sighed. It would never be over for poor Lambo-Chan. At least with Reborn Lambo didn't cry (until he actually hit him...). Instead they just threatened each other.
Finally Reborn kicked Lambo across the room (though 'finally' probably wasn't the right word...). When Lambo hit the wall, the bazooka fell out of his hair and clattered to the floor. Everyone stared at it for a few moments while Lambo sniffled and slowly reached for it. "Must...! Stay...! Calm...!"
Bianchi reached the bazooka before Lambo, picking it up and peering down the shaft, studying it. "Amazing that this is what stuck me in this puny body."
Haru watched Tsuna blanch.
"What do you expect we do, Reborn?" she asked, setting the purple weapon down beside her. Reborn stood on the table between Tsuna and Kyouko, staring at the bazooka.
"Hn," he snorted. "Find out what made it malfunction. ... Unless you'd rather try it out on yourselves."
No one said anything; what could they say?
"Or we could re-enact history, and throw Lambo into the bazooka." Reborn smirked. "I wouldn't mind that method."
"No, Reborn-Chan!" Haru cried. "We can't throw Lambo-Chan at all!" she insisted.
Reborn fixed his stare on her. "Would you like to be stuck in Yamamoto's body for the rest of your life?" he asked. "How long would you like Kyouko to inhabit yours?"
Haru calmed down considerably. "N-no," she said. "I'd like my body back."
From there everyone silently agreed on Reborn's method. Lambo was unaware (he'd been too busy crying to himself to notice) of the plan and was rightly confused when he was suddenly in Yamamoto's hands, the words 'toss', and 'target' mentioned, and felt himself flying somewhere. Haru winced when an explosion sounded and smoke and dust took over the room for a moment. She coughed, eyes winced, and waved her hand back and forth to clear it around her faster. She blinked her eyes open, blinking them wide, and looked around her to see what happened. Unfortunately the smoke hadn't yet cleared completely, so she opted to look at her hands instead. Upon seeing the rough skin and familiar calluses she sighed. It hadn't worked...!
Before she could say anything, Haru heard some more shuffling, followed by a click, and another explosion. This time, though, she felt her gut tug and felt sicker than she ever had. A serious bought of nausea swept over her and once the dizziness kicked in, her head fell to the table in front of her. She groaned, willing the discomfort to pass. She slowly lifted her head, finding herself at the table in Tsuna's room. There were several 'clunk'ing noises, forcing her to put a little more effort into understanding what was going on again. She opened her eyes blearily, looking at her hands once again, finding them soft, slim, and normal.
"Hahi--! I--! I think we're back to normal--!" she announced happily. She shot her head around around her, finding Kyouko-Chan lying her head on the table, moving a just a little bit. Haru reached her hand on, giving Kyouko-Chan's shoulder a shake. "Kyouko-Chan? Are you okay? Kyouko-Chan...?"
Kyouko looked up at Haru, rubbing her eyes. "Haru-Chan? Are you back to normal?"
Haru smiled widely. "You're back to normal! Tsuna-San?"
She continued calling out everyone's names, making sure they were back in their own bodies. Everyone was accounted for, and Haru clapped in happiness. Tsuna didn't have long to stand once he had before Haru knocked him back to the floor in a hug. She hugged him tightly, but crying reached her ears and she quickly looked around for the source. Her eyes caught sight of Yamamoto dragging Gokudera out of the room, and Lambo looking very... upset and deadly. If it wasn't Lambo, then who was crying? She pinpointed the sound, and found Reborn sniffling and biting his bottom lip.
"Oh, hell no."
Everyone turned to face Lambo.
"L... Lambo...?" Tsuna stuttered. Lambo walked forward and jumped on the table next to Reborn, and flicked his forehead. Lambo shook his head.
"No," he said. "Lambo stole my body. I'm Reborn."
Haru's eyes widened in shock, and she watched Tsuna's face turn completely white. "N... no way...!"
Tsuna's eyes promptly rolled, and he fell backwards with a loud 'fwump'.
"Hahi--! Tsu--! Tsuna-San! Are you okay?!" Haru lunged forward, only to find Tsuna passed out from shock.