Virginia's Legacy 2x7
Jody: "I would like to thank all of my readers and Twitter followers."
Desmond: "Every damn time I try to spend time with my kids."
Jody and Desmond hate their jobs, I'm almost certain of it. Or maybe it's just the face.
Let's see how long this one lasts.
I don't remember if I showed you a picture of Darcy and Armin's house yet, so here we go.
Virginia: "So when are you getting married and having children?"
Darcy: "OMG stop."
Hamming: "So, are you the Indiana Jones of mixology or something?"
Mixologist: "Excuse me?"
Virginia: "Ignore him."
Virginia: "You know... We get paid to drink. And you're playing guitar here..."
Hamming: "The perks of being a celebrity."
Virginia: "We should so buy this place."
Hamming: "Are you nuts?! Let's build our own club!"
Virginia: "And we'll call it..." Let's see... Virginia... Hamming... "Virgin Ham!"
Hamming: "That's a great idea! We'll put it over that park you bulldozed!"
Virginia: "So, I'm going to open a club with Hamming, and we have to break up."
Cordero: "That's the worst excuse I've ever heard in my life. And you're drunk."
Cordero: "Mark my words... You will die alone."
Virginia: "That's funny."
Cordero: "Nobody will put up with you, I'm serious."
Virginia: "No, I mean, I'm never going to die."
Cordero: "Everybody dies."
Virginia: (laughs)
Virginia: "Yolandi, I don't know what you're doing up this late, but guess what-- Hamming and I are opening a poolside club. We're calling it the Virgin Ham!"
Yolandi: "You called it Virgin Ham?"
Virginia: "What's wrong?"
Yolandi: "Nothing, it's just my face. By the way, I'm 'up this late' because it's 6:00 AM and I'm getting ready for school."
And most of them are Virginia's exes or relatives.
Desmond: "This is actually the most horrifying thing I've read in my entire life."
I present to you...
The Virgin Ham
Deborah: "Finally, I can grow up and move out of my crowded-ass house."
Virginia: "In retrospect, the Virgin Ham may have been a bad name choice."
Hamming: "Too late now."
Deborah: "I grew up, and I'm still prettier than my mother. What do I win?"
The further adoration of the readers who wished you were old enough to be heir.
Deborah: "That's it?"
I will breed you when I get the chance.
Deborah: "So I won't die a virgin? That's an okay deal."
Beau: "Damn, I miss that ass."
Deborah: "OMG, Dad! Eww, stop!"
Desmond: "I know I've said this before, but I hate Beau."
Deborah: "Having second thoughts about moving in with dad..."
Darcy: "You can move in with me and my boyfriend. We'll keep the sounds of our lovemaking as quiet as possible."
Deborah: "Thanks, but, I'll pass!"
Desmond: "I don't mean to judge, but did you just order a peanut butter sandwich at a fancy club?"
Jody: "I don't mean to judge either, but this place is called the Virgin Ham."
Desmond: "You have a good point."
Jody: "So, who died?"
Hamming: "Nobody died."
Jody: "What? Really?"
Desmond: "No. Way."
Hamming: "There's a first time for everything."
Jody: "We should have all of our parties here."
Virginia: "Damn... I might actually die alone. Not that I die."
"You cannot skip your graduation ceremony"
Deborah: "NO." (cancels action.)
Deborah: "That's nice."
Meanwhile, Virginia is at the public grand opening of the Virgin Ham, hitting on the bouncer.
Hamming: "I never bother to question Virginia's life choices, but... All the paparazzi are getting in."
Hamming: "Excuse me, but I'm the 50% owner."
Hamming: "You know, alongside my beautiful ex-ex wife who doesn't know I exist."
Bartender: "Sounds rough."
Hamming: "Not really. I feel sorry for her flings."
Hamming: "It's none of my business... It's none of my business..."
Acanthus: "Since when do you visit me, Virginia? I usually have to appear to your house unannounced."
Virginia: "So I want you to override the Mottobwolloh mayor's zoning laws."
Acanthus: "Why?"
Virginia: "I want to move a business to a residential area so I can put a house on the wharf."
Acanthus: "No."
Virginia: "What if I invite you to my next wedding party?"
Acanthus: "Well..."
Jody: "No way. We're wearing the same dress, but in a different color!"
Hannah: "What crawled up your ass?!"
Jody: "Nothing, it's just my face."
Hannah: "Bull shit."
Hamming: "There is way too much going on in this screen shot."
Virginia: "I know I just met you a few hours ago, but, will you marry me right here and now at this surprise wedding?"
Donovan: "OH MY GOD, YES!"
Hamming: "What?"
Virginia: "Wait, what?!"
Donovan: "I said 'yes.'"
Virginia: "I change my mind."
Donovan: "What?!"
Virginia: "I thought you'd say 'no.'"
Hamming: This one goes out to my ex-ex.
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