Virginia’s Legacy [episode 13]
We're halfway through generation one; generation two starts April 23rd.
Virginia: “Yeah, I’m sure they’re talking about it all right. You know, consideringsomeone died.”
Virginia: “If I didn’t have kids and a butler to look after, I’d drink myself into a coma.”
Virginia: “Seriously?! Who the fuck left drums in my kitchen?! I’ll have to look through the party photos…”
Our poor Virginia is mourning the loss of Beau. While she did win the chess challenge, he was wiped from her relationships panel and is missing. Ever since then, she’s been kind of loopy.
Virginia: “Hey, Sim God! Stop narrating! Everyone hates it when you do that shit!”
Okay, okay. As you wish.
Virginia: “I hope she doesn’t mind not having a birthday party. Fuck parties.”
Virginia: “Oh… He’s dead… It’s a glitch… I WORKED THIS HARD FOR NOTHING FUCK YOU ALL.”
Lilly-bo: “I’m sorry. You must have been one of his 50 romantic partners.”
Virginia: “Uh, no, no… His death just threw a wrench in my party plans, that’s all. Nothing major. Just… A glitch.”
Lilly-bo: “Who’s consoling whom?”
Virginia: “I’m fucking miserable!”
Virginia: “Well, only one thing left to try.”
Virginia: “Ahh, familiar territory. I hope I don’t run into one of the people I murdered.”
Virginia: “Found him!”
Hamming: “Did you find Beau?”
Virginia: “Yeah. He’s on the coffee table.”
Hamming: “So, the reaper just let you win so you’d give up and stop messing with time?”
Virginia: “Yep.”
Virginia: “But with a face like mine, there will be plenty of others.”
Hamming: “I thought you said you didn’t care about him.”
Virginia: “I don’t.”
Hamming: “Never mind.”
Happy birthday, Darcy!
GOOOOOO
Darcy: “My first act as a child is to use a toilet.”
Oh, hell yeah.
RIP, man. Sorry about the glitch that kept you dead.
Oh, god, not another one. Please don’t let this episode turn into Death at a Funeral.
Hamming: “Virginia, this is a little excessive, even for you.”
Virginia: “NO ONE INVITED YOU, WORDY.”
Well, Fangman is still alive, NBD.
Virginia: “Hello?”
Acanthus: “Hey, I don’t mean to be intrusive… but did you murder your boyfriend?”
Virginia: “No!”
Acanthus: “I’m not so sure I believe you.
Virginia: “No, really. He starved to death on my porch at my beach party. Besides, what motive could I possibly-”
Acanthus: “Never mind, forget I asked. You would never do anything that could ruin your party.”
--
Well, what’s the worst that could happen?
Oh. Great location.
Well, fuck you. You should’ve died at that funeral, douchebag.
Bartender: “I don’t usually judge, but did you bring your child to the bar with you?
Virginia: “I’m sad and I have no friends.”
Darcy: “Mommy got us matching cocktail dresses.”
Bartender: “Oh my god…”
Virginia: “Just bring me my drink, she’s my designated teleportation operator in case I’m too wasted and drunk text someone trying to get home.
Darcy: “What’s this?”
Virginia: “This drink makes me feel a little… Lusty.”
Virginia: *dazed*
Virginia: “Am I going insane?”
Hamming: “Darcy called; I’ve got to go pick up Virginia so she doesn’t drunk text any of her exes. Stay here and take care of the butler, okay?”
Desmond: “Ugh, fine.”
Hamming: “I think it’s time to go home now.”
Virginia: “Why?”
Hamming: “Because we don’t need another family scandal, get in the car.”
Virginia: “You know, I’ve been living in 2014 for almost eight years, and these fancy cars still baffle me. The way they just fly like little fish.”
Darcy: “Hamming, what’s wrong with mommy?”
Hamming: “Mommy is wasted.”
Hamming: “Are you really going to sleep there?”
Virginia: …
Hamming: “Sigh…”
Hamming: “So, what’s that black notebook you picked up last episode?”
Darcy: “Oh, just something for school.”
Darcy: “Heh… Hehe… BWAAAA HAHAHAHA HAAAAA!”
Virginia: “Well, sure. Why not?”
She lives in constant fear of someone asking her on a date. It happens every day.
Darcy rolled her lifetime wish. She’s already halfway there, tbh. Virginia’s net worth is 417,219 simoleons and Darcy has 3 celebrity stars already.
Darcy cycles to a deserted area…
…so she can commit murderrrrr.
Fangman: “I suddenly feel a chill.”
Fangman: “AAAAAAHHHHH!”
Reaper: “Why do I feel like this has something to do with The Blister Legacy?”
NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
He… Has the unlucky trait.
Yessss
(sigh) This family…
FUCKFUCKFUCK THE PAPARAZZI IS INSIDE THE BEACH HOUSE ABORT MISSION
(barricades archways with refrigerators and chairs)
NO NO NO NO NO NO
Darcy: “MWAAA HAHAHAHAHA!”
Reaper: “Oh. Now I understand. She found it.”
Hamming: “Do you hear something?”
Virginia: “Not now, I’m busy.”
Virginia: “Nothing could be that important right now.”
Reaper: “Hey, Virginia, your daughter-”
Virginia: “Are you bringing Beau back so I can dump him and move on with my life? No? Fuck you.”
Reaper: “Seriously, listen-”
Virginia: “Go suck your mom’s tit, you sore loser.”