Stocking Stuffer #11: Because I Can!
Happy 2015! Welcome to a new year, a year hopefully full of wonderful things and great Clexiness.
Today's stocking stuffer is about reinventing oneself, and is from our generous elf josephina_x
Title: Because I’m Lex Luthor! --Because I Can!
Rating: PG Words: 1453
Prompt: Reinvent oneself
----
“Henceforth, I shall no longer be Lex Luthor!” Lex Luthor declared abruptly.
Clark looked at him sideways, a bit askance, and adjusted his glasses with a finger. “Um. Really?”
“Yes,” Lex said firmly.
Clark tried not to frown, or to panic. Lex had, admittedly, been a bit… weirder than usual, post-resurrection and post-memory-loss and post-Tess-removal, but really just after that last one. Clark was starting to think that there may actually be something to that whole Summerholt-memory-removal procedure giving people brain damage…
“Um,” said Clark. “Why are you no longer Lex Luthor?” he asked him.
“Because,” Lex said firmly, and crossed his arms.
Clark turned away from the Christmas lights display, in order to face Lex more directly.
“Because…” Clark prompted, because when did Lex ever not have a reason for doing what he did? --Never, that’s when. Hell would freeze over first.
“Because I don’t like being Lex Luthor,” Lex told him promptly.
Clark stared at him for a bit.
Lex turned away from the Christmas display in the shop window and towards Clark, who was at his right, the better to converse with him, probably. “It sucks.”
“Uh huh,” said Clark, noncommittally.
“No, really,” Lex said adamantly, as he turned and began to walk off, past Clark. “Being me sucks.”
“Uh huh,” said Clark, just as noncommittally as the last time, falling into step beside him.
“Nobody likes me,” Lex said, sounding like he was gearing up for something.
So Clark quickly interjected with, “--I like you,” to try and cut him off at the pass.
“You like everyone,” Lex snorted. “That hardly counts. I mean, even Otis can’t stand me half the time.”
Clark remained silent on that one.
“...Okay, maybe he can stand me, but I really don’t know how he does it,” Lex grumbled after a bit. “I’m terrible.” He frowned. “Also, Superman hates me.”
“Superman doesn’t--”
“--and the League hates me, too!” Lex continued, more or less steamrollering over Clark’s interjection that time. “Why do I have to be someone I’m not, anyway!”
“Uh…”
“Oh, you know what I mean!” Lex said tersely, pulling his arms up to either hug himself or try and shake off the cold a bit. Maybe both. He maneuvered through the holiday crowds next to Clark with ease. “I can’t remember Lex Luthor, but from what I know about him.” He rolled his eyes. “Or, not ’him’, who I used to be, rather, ...supposedly, or what-have-you. Whatever.” He huffed out a breath in annoyance. “From what I do know, I’m pretty sure I don’t want to be him. --Not anymore.” He scowled something fierce. “I’m done with it. Just... done.”
Clark felt his eyebrows rise. He wondered what had brought this on.
Probably better not to ask that. Instead, Clark asked, “Then who do you want to be instead?” trying to just humor him.
“Batman,” Lex said decisively.
Clark stopped moving. “Uh, what?” he asked Lex.
Lex slowed to a stop and turned back to look at Clark. “I’m going to be Batman,” he said.
“You’re serious.”
“Of course.”
“...You’re going to be Batman.”
“Yes.”
“But… we already have a Batman.”
“You don’t think we could use another one?” Lex asked, cocking his head at Clark.
It was about this point that Clark realized that Lex was just as perfectly curious as to what Clark’s next response would be as he’d been perfectly serious in his declaration before.
So Clark stopped and thought very carefully about what he was going to say next. He felt that this might be one of those make-or-break defining-moments times. Unfortunately, he’d been having that sinking feeling a bit too much with people lately. Lex, notably, but only as Superman before. He’d thought he might actually get a break with him as Clark Kent.
As if. “Lex…” Clark began, then sighed. “Do you really have to be Batman?”
“Well, no,” Lex admitted, shifting from foot to foot smoothly. “But the League doesn’t completely hate him and he has lots of cool toys to play with. Also, he can beat up Superman when Superman’s being a jerk, so that’s a plus.”
Clark did a mental facepalm, because of course.
“Why?” Lex asked him. “Don’t you like Batman?”
“He’s… all right, I guess,” Clark said grudgingly, thinking over Bruce and his… self-ed-ness. If that was even a word. Kryptonian probably had one for that, even if English didn’t. ...One of these days he was totally stealing Lois’ thesaurus and reading it cover-to-cover.
“Well.” Lex puffed up his chest a bit, which looked slightly weird on him, actually. “I’m going to be a better Batman than Batman, is, so that won’t be a problem. You will still like me, absolutely. Only moreso,” he promised to Clark. “And so will Otis,” he added belatedly.
“Um,” said Clark, squinting as he thought that one over. He readjusted his glasses again. “But… If you’re being Batman, doesn’t that mean that you can’t be better than Batman, only the same?”
“...Because if I’m Batman then I can only be as good as Batman? --Hah!” said Lex, grinning. “No! Not at all!”
Clark winced and gave him a look, all but begging for clarification.
“I’ll start out being Batman, certainly,” Lex told him, “but then I’ll strike out on my own, being my own sort of Batman.” He smiled up at Clark. “Then there’ll be two of us. Batmen. Similar, but different.”
“Uh huh,” said Clark.
“I can totally do it, too,” Lex said, and he started ticking point off on his gloved fingers. “I have lots of money. I’ve mostly finished cleaning up LexCorp, so I can find somebody to mostly-run LexCorp for me. I like staying up late. And my instructor says that he thinks I’d be really good at martial arts, so I bet I can learn those, easily.” And, for some reason, Lex sounded really excited about the prospect of... fighting crime?
Clark waited for it.
“And I bet beating up bad guys would be great stress relief.”
There it was. “Lex, there’s a lot more to being a Hero than ‘beating up bad guys’,” Clark told him.
Lex gave him a puzzled look. “I thought Batman was just a Vigilante?”
Clark did a mental facepalm. “Okay, fine,” he said, letting that one go. “Do you really think you can do this?”
“I don’t see why not,” Lex told him, as he stepped out of the way of a slick patch of ice, and a woman weighed down up past her chin with packages. As they passed, and the woman stepped on the patch of ice and her foot slipped, Lex reached out an arm and, hand to her elbow, took her weight and steadied her almost absently.
Clark blinked.
He glanced over his shoulder back at the woman as she minced and sidestepped carefully to the side before continuing on, next to oblivious as to what Lex had done for her, as Lex continued on as if nothing had even happened at all. “I have the super-money power for it, and--”
Clark immediately refocused on Lex as his words registered. "Super-what?" Because what?
"Super-money power," Lex said. "Like super-strength or super-speed powers, only money, instead of strength or speed."
Clark stared at him. “Lex, having lots of money isn’t a superpower!”
Lex blinked up at him. “It isn’t?”
“No,” said Clark, frowning slightly at him and wondering where the heck he’d gotten that idea from.
“Oh,” said Lex. “Well, I’ve also got super-intelligence like Batman, too, and... regular lots-of-money?” he put out there, then paused. “If money isn't a power, then what's Queen's superpower?" he mused out loud, his forehead crinkled up in a thinking frown.
...You know what? Clark wasn’t going to touch that one with a ten-foot carbon-fiber bow.
"Maybe it's a secret..." Clark tried. And, for his efforts, he got a:
"Hmmmm," from Lex, who kept on thinking hard about it.
Instead of trying again, Clark thought something over that was completely different than what Lex was expending so much of his own 'super'-brainpower over.
And then he said...
"You know what?"
Lex lifted his head to look at Clark.
Clark smiled at him and clapped him on the shoulder.
"If you want to be Batman," Clark told the bald billionaire authoritatively, "You should just go ahead and be Batman."
Lex stared at Clark for a moment, and then he grinned and lit up like Clark had explained the meaning of Christmas to him.
And, as Lex excitedly all-but-skipped down the streets of Metropolis next to Clark, waving his hands about animatedly while expounding upon his ideas for a working Batwing to him, Clark wondered if maybe, somehow, he had.
----
END
Today's stocking stuffer is about reinventing oneself, and is from our generous elf josephina_x
Title: Because I’m Lex Luthor! --Because I Can!
Rating: PG Words: 1453
Prompt: Reinvent oneself
----
“Henceforth, I shall no longer be Lex Luthor!” Lex Luthor declared abruptly.
Clark looked at him sideways, a bit askance, and adjusted his glasses with a finger. “Um. Really?”
“Yes,” Lex said firmly.
Clark tried not to frown, or to panic. Lex had, admittedly, been a bit… weirder than usual, post-resurrection and post-memory-loss and post-Tess-removal, but really just after that last one. Clark was starting to think that there may actually be something to that whole Summerholt-memory-removal procedure giving people brain damage…
“Um,” said Clark. “Why are you no longer Lex Luthor?” he asked him.
“Because,” Lex said firmly, and crossed his arms.
Clark turned away from the Christmas lights display, in order to face Lex more directly.
“Because…” Clark prompted, because when did Lex ever not have a reason for doing what he did? --Never, that’s when. Hell would freeze over first.
“Because I don’t like being Lex Luthor,” Lex told him promptly.
Clark stared at him for a bit.
Lex turned away from the Christmas display in the shop window and towards Clark, who was at his right, the better to converse with him, probably. “It sucks.”
“Uh huh,” said Clark, noncommittally.
“No, really,” Lex said adamantly, as he turned and began to walk off, past Clark. “Being me sucks.”
“Uh huh,” said Clark, just as noncommittally as the last time, falling into step beside him.
“Nobody likes me,” Lex said, sounding like he was gearing up for something.
So Clark quickly interjected with, “--I like you,” to try and cut him off at the pass.
“You like everyone,” Lex snorted. “That hardly counts. I mean, even Otis can’t stand me half the time.”
Clark remained silent on that one.
“...Okay, maybe he can stand me, but I really don’t know how he does it,” Lex grumbled after a bit. “I’m terrible.” He frowned. “Also, Superman hates me.”
“Superman doesn’t--”
“--and the League hates me, too!” Lex continued, more or less steamrollering over Clark’s interjection that time. “Why do I have to be someone I’m not, anyway!”
“Uh…”
“Oh, you know what I mean!” Lex said tersely, pulling his arms up to either hug himself or try and shake off the cold a bit. Maybe both. He maneuvered through the holiday crowds next to Clark with ease. “I can’t remember Lex Luthor, but from what I know about him.” He rolled his eyes. “Or, not ’him’, who I used to be, rather, ...supposedly, or what-have-you. Whatever.” He huffed out a breath in annoyance. “From what I do know, I’m pretty sure I don’t want to be him. --Not anymore.” He scowled something fierce. “I’m done with it. Just... done.”
Clark felt his eyebrows rise. He wondered what had brought this on.
Probably better not to ask that. Instead, Clark asked, “Then who do you want to be instead?” trying to just humor him.
“Batman,” Lex said decisively.
Clark stopped moving. “Uh, what?” he asked Lex.
Lex slowed to a stop and turned back to look at Clark. “I’m going to be Batman,” he said.
“You’re serious.”
“Of course.”
“...You’re going to be Batman.”
“Yes.”
“But… we already have a Batman.”
“You don’t think we could use another one?” Lex asked, cocking his head at Clark.
It was about this point that Clark realized that Lex was just as perfectly curious as to what Clark’s next response would be as he’d been perfectly serious in his declaration before.
So Clark stopped and thought very carefully about what he was going to say next. He felt that this might be one of those make-or-break defining-moments times. Unfortunately, he’d been having that sinking feeling a bit too much with people lately. Lex, notably, but only as Superman before. He’d thought he might actually get a break with him as Clark Kent.
As if. “Lex…” Clark began, then sighed. “Do you really have to be Batman?”
“Well, no,” Lex admitted, shifting from foot to foot smoothly. “But the League doesn’t completely hate him and he has lots of cool toys to play with. Also, he can beat up Superman when Superman’s being a jerk, so that’s a plus.”
Clark did a mental facepalm, because of course.
“Why?” Lex asked him. “Don’t you like Batman?”
“He’s… all right, I guess,” Clark said grudgingly, thinking over Bruce and his… self-ed-ness. If that was even a word. Kryptonian probably had one for that, even if English didn’t. ...One of these days he was totally stealing Lois’ thesaurus and reading it cover-to-cover.
“Well.” Lex puffed up his chest a bit, which looked slightly weird on him, actually. “I’m going to be a better Batman than Batman, is, so that won’t be a problem. You will still like me, absolutely. Only moreso,” he promised to Clark. “And so will Otis,” he added belatedly.
“Um,” said Clark, squinting as he thought that one over. He readjusted his glasses again. “But… If you’re being Batman, doesn’t that mean that you can’t be better than Batman, only the same?”
“...Because if I’m Batman then I can only be as good as Batman? --Hah!” said Lex, grinning. “No! Not at all!”
Clark winced and gave him a look, all but begging for clarification.
“I’ll start out being Batman, certainly,” Lex told him, “but then I’ll strike out on my own, being my own sort of Batman.” He smiled up at Clark. “Then there’ll be two of us. Batmen. Similar, but different.”
“Uh huh,” said Clark.
“I can totally do it, too,” Lex said, and he started ticking point off on his gloved fingers. “I have lots of money. I’ve mostly finished cleaning up LexCorp, so I can find somebody to mostly-run LexCorp for me. I like staying up late. And my instructor says that he thinks I’d be really good at martial arts, so I bet I can learn those, easily.” And, for some reason, Lex sounded really excited about the prospect of... fighting crime?
Clark waited for it.
“And I bet beating up bad guys would be great stress relief.”
There it was. “Lex, there’s a lot more to being a Hero than ‘beating up bad guys’,” Clark told him.
Lex gave him a puzzled look. “I thought Batman was just a Vigilante?”
Clark did a mental facepalm. “Okay, fine,” he said, letting that one go. “Do you really think you can do this?”
“I don’t see why not,” Lex told him, as he stepped out of the way of a slick patch of ice, and a woman weighed down up past her chin with packages. As they passed, and the woman stepped on the patch of ice and her foot slipped, Lex reached out an arm and, hand to her elbow, took her weight and steadied her almost absently.
Clark blinked.
He glanced over his shoulder back at the woman as she minced and sidestepped carefully to the side before continuing on, next to oblivious as to what Lex had done for her, as Lex continued on as if nothing had even happened at all. “I have the super-money power for it, and--”
Clark immediately refocused on Lex as his words registered. "Super-what?" Because what?
"Super-money power," Lex said. "Like super-strength or super-speed powers, only money, instead of strength or speed."
Clark stared at him. “Lex, having lots of money isn’t a superpower!”
Lex blinked up at him. “It isn’t?”
“No,” said Clark, frowning slightly at him and wondering where the heck he’d gotten that idea from.
“Oh,” said Lex. “Well, I’ve also got super-intelligence like Batman, too, and... regular lots-of-money?” he put out there, then paused. “If money isn't a power, then what's Queen's superpower?" he mused out loud, his forehead crinkled up in a thinking frown.
...You know what? Clark wasn’t going to touch that one with a ten-foot carbon-fiber bow.
"Maybe it's a secret..." Clark tried. And, for his efforts, he got a:
"Hmmmm," from Lex, who kept on thinking hard about it.
Instead of trying again, Clark thought something over that was completely different than what Lex was expending so much of his own 'super'-brainpower over.
And then he said...
"You know what?"
Lex lifted his head to look at Clark.
Clark smiled at him and clapped him on the shoulder.
"If you want to be Batman," Clark told the bald billionaire authoritatively, "You should just go ahead and be Batman."
Lex stared at Clark for a moment, and then he grinned and lit up like Clark had explained the meaning of Christmas to him.
And, as Lex excitedly all-but-skipped down the streets of Metropolis next to Clark, waving his hands about animatedly while expounding upon his ideas for a working Batwing to him, Clark wondered if maybe, somehow, he had.
----
END