Gift for Nicnac918! Christmas Wishes
And here's the real gift for today! :)
Title: Christmas Wishes
From: To Be Revealed! josephina_x
For: Nicnac918
Type: fic, 5411
Rating: G
Warnings: none
Summary: Well, at least Superman hadn't crashed Santa's sleigh mid-air...
Request: Fic type: “reconciliation”, “humor”, “there can be angst in it but the ending needs to be fluffy”. Specific Prompt: "post-series reconciliation prompted by Lex's amnesia in some way".
Author's Note: Merry Clexmas :)
Christmas Wishes
"Hah!" Lex yelled, pointing at the sky.
And also at Superman. Who happened to be in the sky at the place he was pointing at. Or was trying to point at.
"Oh, phoo," Lex said, deflating as he noticed the caped crusader -- or whatever his nemesis's alternate name was these days -- hanging in front of the place in the sky he was pointing at. How had he gotten here already?!
Actually that wasn't all that important at the moment. What was important was that he needed to-- "Get out of the way!!"
"What?" said the alien menace, and then it hit him.
--The alien, not Lex; Lex was standing out of the line of fire.
It should also be noted that the hitting that was going on was quite literal in nature and, as an (un)natural result of this, Superman ploughed into the icy tundra of the north arctic with not a whole lot of aplomb. (It hit him from behind, you see.)
"Well, I did try and warn him," Lex told his executive assistant. Otis nodded at him, covering a somewhat-sympathetic wince not so well.
"You did," his aide agreed, and then the time for talking was over. Momentarily. As they watched, the thing that hit Superman in the back opened up, and two beings stepped out of it.
...Okay, technically more like tottered out of it, one of them holding their head with a hand-like appendage like it was feeling dizzy.
"Did we hit something?" it asked, sounding a little worried. "I think we might have hit something."
"Yes, you did, but it wasn't your fault," Lex informed them. "Also, I'm pretty sure he's fine. Nothing much seems to phase him these days, anyway."
"What?" the first being blurted out, as the second being sort of sat down right where it was at the end of the ramp, hard. "We hit a person?"
"Wellllllll..." said Lex. "Technically."
"Do... do you think we should move our ship?" the first being asked. The second one looked like it was doing an admirable job of not throwing up. It was also doing a very good job of turning interesting colors that weren't green. Probably meaning it was feeling sick, since its base color was supposed to be green.
"Yes. No. Maybe," Lex said in rapid succession. "Depends on whether you knocked him out or not. He might try to move on you?" Then he shrugged.
The two beings turned their heads towards each other and then blinked. The first being glanced back towards the opening in the ship, then down at the end of the ramp and the snow underneath it. The second being, watching this, sighed and slowly started to shove itself to its feet when it happened.
The spaceship shifted under them unevenly and they both flailed a bit as the spacecraft rocked back and forth. The first being, standing, didn't stay standing long -- it tumbled forward and fell off of the ramp and into the snow, face-first. The second one did nothing so violently graceless as being bodily launched off of the ramp; it simply slid down the ramp the rest of the way to the ground and ended up on its back, blinking up at the sky.
Well, at least the chill of the snow seemed to be doing it some good -- it wasn't quite so un-green anymore.
The first being righted itself in short order, the second being sat up, and Lex crossed his arms. And the three of them -- plus Otis -- watched as the spacecraft continued to rise unsteadily off of the ground, and not under its own power. Shortly thereafter, it tilted backwards and fell with an almighty crash.
"Ow," said Superman, straightening up and rubbing the back of his head.
"OUR SPACESHIP!" the first being shrieked, jumping to its feet and grabbing at its antennae in what looked like panic, or maybe consternation. Lex wasn't completely up on his alien-facial-expression reading yet. (Personally, he blamed Superman for that. Not being alien enough. The uncooperative lout.)
Superman stared at his accuser for a moment. It took him that long to blink and get his bearings. (Maybe he was concussed?) "--You hit me with it!"
"We're in the arctic, because there's nothing else around for miles," Lex informed him. "You're the one who got in the way."
Superman stared at him for another long second, as the first being shrieked again and ran behind him to pat down his poor, abused spaceship. "That doesn't explain why you're here," he said suspiciously.
Lex pointed to himself. "Welcoming committee," he said. "And Otis!" Because Otis generally did a good job of supporting him being welcoming, among the other things that he did. "Also," he added, "I had to set up the homing beacon."
"Homing bea--" (Wow, he really must be concussed. He'd actually repeated something Lex had said.)
"Well, yes," Lex cut in not-so-patiently, wondering why, exactly, another alien being that had his own spaceship didn't know how to land them properly. ...Then he remembered all that junk he'd read up on about the meteor showers in Smallville. (Nevermind.) "We don't have a space-landing system to talk to their autonav computers and guide them in yet, so they had to land manually. Away from anything they might otherwise accidentally hit."
"You're here," Superman all-but-growled out.
"Standard practice is to land between twenty to forty meters away from the beacon. I'm well within that boundary," Lex informed him, pointing down at the line in the snow a few inches in front of his toes. He'd drawn it earlier. Otis had helped him to carefully measure it out with twine.
Superman looked down at the line in the snow, then looked up again. "That's too close, especially for manual control, and how do you even know they measure in the same 'meters'?" Then Superman scowled at him. "And what do you mean, yet?"
Lex cocked his head at him and recrossed his arms. "In order," Lex began, "It isn't too close, because the autonav may not be able to recognize and avoid unknown alien structures on its own, but it can paint a distance around a beacon and plot a trajectory that doesn't let it get too close laterally, while the pilot controls the altitude. And, it also isn't too close because I talked to them about common units of measure before we talked about how to set up a homing beacon so they could land, before we set up a homing beacon so they could try to land. Safely."
Superman was frowning at him furiously.
"And," Lex added, raising a finger, pointing at Superman's chest, "I say 'yet' because clearly we're going to need one if you can't keep yourself out of other alien peoples' flight paths, even out in the middle of nowhere. --Make a note, Otis," he added over his shoulder to his executive assistant.
"Yes, sir," Otis said, dutifully taking it down on a cold-weather tablet with a pen. "Add 'build a spacenav network satellite interface for incoming alien visitors' to LexCorp's space program priority list. Got it." He paused for a moment. "Should I send a note to our people working on the joint project for the new ground-based air traffic control system, that they should work on common interfaces for connecting them?" he asked dutifully.
"Good man -- yes, do that now," Lex said, with a firm nod, then stopped and got contemplative for a moment. "Might want to make it for outgoing alien visitors, too," Lex added, upon second thought, because it wasn't completely out of the realm of possibility that that might actually happen someday, eventually. Probably. If Superman wasn't in an 'intervening' mood that someday, anyway.
His planet was very cool, if he did say so himself. (Even Superman didn't want to leave it.)
"Yessir," said Otis, and Superman puffed up and looked about to object to something else again when the wail from the alien being by the spaceship got louder.
"You BROKE it!" the first being yelled, sounding quite disconsolate about it. Lex sympathized completely.
"I--" Superman turned, did a double-take at the smashed-up looking spacecraft, and actually seemed flummoxed for a moment. "It hit me," he protested.
"We're stranded!" the first being whimpered out, then started to wail, sinking to its knees.
The second being, still sitting in the snow between Lex and Superman, just sighed, deeply.
Lex gave Superman a look of disgust. "No, you hit it," Lex reminded him. "It was an accident, at best."
"No!" Superman said. "I mean, it was in one piece before, wasn't it? It didn't break apart when it hit me, while I was hovering there, and it rammed into me and slammed me into the ground," the man pointed out, sounding aggrieved for some reason. "It shouldn't have broken from just being lifted up and over. It's stronger than I am!"
"That was the energy shielding," the second being said, sounding just as disgusted -- and tired -- with Superman as Lex felt. "It dissipates heat on descent and deflects orbital debris."
"And sometimes missiles!" Otis added, being helpful. He'd been privy to all Lex's conversations with their now-possibly-stranded visitors, after all.
"Or other things that get in the way as it comes down, which is why it's better to have it land in the middle of nowhere than risk it plowing through a building full of people, even if the ship itself would emerge unscathed," Lex continued in a similar vein. "And it needs to be turned off so people can enter and exit the spacecraft safely. After landing." Lex gave Superman a hard look, because one shouldn't just assume things.
Or float out in the middle of nowhere, in the way.
"Um," said Superman, and now -- finally -- he looked a bit properly apologetic. For once.
"I don't suppose you can fix it?" Otis put forth to Superman. That had Lex putting his glaring on hold for the moment to glance at Otis, the first being quieting, and the second being looking up at the gaudily-clad Kryptonian with some slight interest.
It actually wasn't a bad idea.
Up until the Kryptonian stood there like a lump and said, "Uh..."
Well, nevermind then. It would had been a good idea, anyway. If Superman had been properly alien, anyway.
The first being looked like it was about to start blubbering again, when the second alien sighed and slowly rose to its feet. It walked over, then plonked down next to the first being, and patted it on its shoulder-ish region with the end of a higher appendage. It looked comforting.
"Don't worry," it said to its partner-being. "I'll just ask Santa to fix our spacecraft for my Christmas wish, and we'll be able to go home after."
The first being turned to the second one and looked something like aghast. "But-- But--" it spluttered. "You really wanted a--!"
"--It's fine," the second being told it. "This is more important. And you need your wish more."
Superman looked distinctly uncomfortable for some reason. He edged towards Lex and asked, "Christmas wishes?"
"Well, yes," Lex told him, surprised that Superman hadn't heard of the tradition. ...Then again, he wasn't sure he'd classify Superman as wholly 'good'. (Nevermind then.) "I told them about Santa Claus, and Christmas wishes and presents and things. They were looking for help, and apparently they don't have those on their home planet, or any other they'd heard of thus far, except us." Lex paused. "Wishes, I mean. For Christmas."
"Are we too late?" the first being asked anxiously. "We tried to get here in time. Are we in time?"
"Otis?" Lex asked, turning to his assistant, who dutifully brought up the proper app on his just-as-dutiful tablet.
"NORAD reports that he's already left the North Pole region," his assistant reported.
"Well, drat." Lex made a face. "I guess we'll just have to wave him down on the way back." Maybe he should be counting his blessings, though. At least Superman hadn't crashed Santa's sleigh -- that'd certainly put the man in a mood not conducive for helping! "Hopefully he'll still have enough Christmas magic after the end of the night to be able to grant both wishes."
The first being's face drooped. "We still might be stranded?" it said, starting to get weepy again.
"Well, maybe for awhile," Lex told it, walking over to it and crouching down next to it. "You did want a very big wish, after all."
"Oh," it said quietly, then rubbed at the base of its left antennae with a higher appendage.
"I can promise that I'll devote my company to trying to help out in the meantime," Lex said. "We ought to be able to make at least a few of the repairs parts you need for you, if you tell us how to make them."
Superman straightened at that, looking belligerent for some reason. "Now, wait just a--"
"--But that might take us more than a year," Lex continued on, ignoring the very rude Kryptonian looming over them. "So you might just be better off pooling both your wishes this year for the single wish and waiting until next year to ask for your ship to be repaired."
"Next year?" the second being asked, tilting its head to the side. "What happens next year?"
Lex blinked, then realized he'd accidentally left out that part before. "Oh, apologies. I must not have been clear. We have Christmas every year."
The second being blinked at him, while the first being's eyes got really, really wide. (Which was no mean feat, because they were already pretty big to begin with.) "You do?" it asked.
Lex nodded.
"...Wait," the second being said slowly. "Your Santa leaves his arctic home, gets in his sleigh with his reindeer who fly him all over your planet, and he gives Christmas wishes to people every year for free?" It sounded almost like it wasn't sure whether this was a too-good-to-be-true sort of thing or not. Lex could sympathize with that, too.
"Well, not for free, per se," Lex said warningly, and the two aliens braced themselves, while Superman's shoulders tensed and he got all glower-y at Lex. "You have to be good all year," Lex told them. "that's the price," and while the second being relaxed a little bit, the first one let out a big breath of relief and all-out slumped in place.
For some reason, Superman relaxed, too.
"Oh, that's easy," said the first alien, sounding totally relieved.
"Well, for some of us here, it's sometimes a little more difficult," Lex said, feeling a bit abashed.
"Uh, Lex," Superman said.
"Hm?" Lex said, then Lex eyed Superman for the look he was getting from him.
Superman waved him upright, and Lex stood up. Then Superman leaned in uncomfortably close and said, "How do you know about this... Christmas wishes thing?"
"Oh! Oh! I know this one!" the first being said, almost bouncing in place on the ground and waving its appendages around excitedly. "Lex stayed awake last year and met him, and he asked for Santa to give Otis a really good Christmas gift for him, and he did!"
Otis blinked, then smiled at Lex. He'd been gracious enough to turn around and put his hands over his ears for that explanation when Lex had asked him to.
"I, uh, I know I'm supposed to pick out Christmas gifts for people myself," Lex said hurriedly to his assistant, "but I didn't want a repeat of the last Incident the year prior," Lex said, feeling a bit embarrassed. He'd really wanted it to be the last time Christmas ended in an Incident, after all.
"That's okay. It's the thought that counts." Otis told him, which left Lex feeling a bit anxious, since Otis had said the exact same thing about the Incident-year's gift, too, after they'd both finally finished cleaning up post-(the really awful, as in, 'needing-a-Superman-intervention' awful)-aftermath, and--
"And it was a really good gift, too, sir," Otis assured him, firmly and truthfully while smiling, and Lex relaxed, because of course it had been. Santa was the best expert at gifts ever, after all, and Lex had known and planned and done enough good that year to be able to have Santa visit him, hadn't he? He'd been able to meet Santa, after staying up all night, and ask the absolute best of the best in Christmas gift-giving for help in proper present-ing, all for his favorite assistant, hadn't he? --Of course he had!
Lex beamed in pleasure at Otis' seal of approval, and the first alien was now looking super-excited. The second one even seemed to be smiling, which it had not seemed wont to do before, in any of the numerous deep space communications that Lex had had with the pair. So that was probably a good sign.
"See?" Lex told the alien beings. "Everything will work out. It's Santa, after all."
"...Santa," the first being echoed happily, starting up at the sky, as the second being patted it on the shoulder again.
"We'll have to wait a bit, though," Lex reminded them, as he turned around and sat down in the snow next to them, cross-legged. "And hope he sees us when we try to flag him down."
"Well, he can help with that," the second being said, giving Superman a quelling look.
"Maybe," Lex said neutrally, having visions again of Superman crashing Santa's sleigh. "He can... hover... a bit. Maybe come up beside him and meet him in mid-air, at speed." He gave Superman a long look. "Carefully."
Superman winced.
"So," Otis said, opening the flap of his parka to put away his tablet and pull out a thermos. "Who wants hot cocoa?"
Three hands or hand-like appendages went up, from three people who were sitting on the snowy-icy arctic tundra.
They held them there, while the three persons turned their heads to look up at Superman.
Otis smiled, then turned his head and also looked at Superman, a bit more expectantly than the other three. Especially Lex with his glaring.
Superman stood there with his arms crossed. He looked at Otis, and then the three others.
And then he sighed and also raised his hand.
"Eeeeee!" said the first being, and it clapped its top appendages together gleefully as Otis filled, then extended to it, the first of the cups of plastic, containing hot cocoa.
----
Superman did, in fact, flag down Santa Claus' sleigh in mid-air, at speed, carefully. There was no crashing involved.
"Hi!" the first being called out, after Mr. Claus had landed and was climbing down out of his sleigh. "Hi! Hi!" It jumped up and rushed over, all flailing excited-happiness.
The second being followed at a more sedate pace, as did Lex and Otis. (Superman also moved at a similarly sedate pace over to where Santa had landed and was disembarking, but it was more of a float-down-and-land than a walk.)
By the time Lex had gotten over there with Otis, Mr. Claus was already pulling things out of his bag and passing them over into Superman’s awaiting arms.
Lex was fully ready to give him a glare, but stopped when he realized that the presents Superman was receiving weren’t for him, exactly. The odd look of the metal parts (and toolbox) was kind of a giveaway. So was the short and highly-technical lecture Mr. Claus was giving Superman, which had the Kryptonian’s eyes starting to glaze over.
“Um, which one is the Kerelian accelerator, again?” Superman said, trying to carefully juggle the heap of spare parts he was cradling in his arms, with some success. (None of them fell and hit the ground during his awkward shifting-about, anyway.)
“Not to point out the obvious,” Lex said, then proceeded to do just that. “But wouldn’t it be a better idea to let them do their own repairs?” Lex had serious doubts about Superman’s technical abilities with spaceships, considering.
“He broke it; he ought to be the one to fix it,” Santa Claus informed him. “Besides, it’s good practice for him.”
“I’ll supervise,” said the second alien being, with a glance to Santa to make sure their wish-giver in potentia had no issues with the idea, and then it walked off after Superman to do just that.
“I didn’t know you knew how to fix spaceships the easy way,” Lex said, not quite sidling up to Santa Claus. He figured magic would be more taxing than actual physical effort on spare parts that hadn’t been created out of thin air and nothing, thus ‘the hard way’.
“The sleigh’s a bit more high-tech than it looks,” Mr. Claus informed him. “I may have picked up a few things along the way, when I was learning to bend spacetime a bit to meet deadlines.”
Lex blinked. He guessed that sort of made sense, though.
“It helps to know what’s going on in the neighborhood, too, when the requests start coming in,” he added, smiling down at the first alien being, who was taking a newly-poured cup of cocoa from Otis and passing it along to Santa, with something akin to starry-eyed worship in its eyes.
“Thank you,” Santa told the young alien being as he accepted the cocoa from it, saying its name with perfect pronunciation ending in the correct half-screech, one that Lex was fairly sure a human throat wasn’t capable of mastering without several years of experience. “I’ve heard that you ran into some trouble with a planet that you didn’t quite expect to be yours?” Santa asked as he took a good sip of the cocoa.
It was about that point that Lex started to wonder exactly how far Santa’s surveillance net reached, if it was picking up things as far as a good galaxy-and-a-half away.
The first alien being’s antennae drooped, and it nodded. It toed at the snow a bit with one of its lower appendages.
“I didn’t mean to conquer the planet,” the first being told Santa, “It just sort of happened by accident.” It turned a bit blue-ish in spots, contrasting sharply with all the green, and when Santa ho-ho-ho’d at the alien in more of a commiserating chuckle than a laugh, Lex realized that the alien being was doing the alien equivalent of blushing.
“Wait,” Superman said, craning his head as he walked back from around the side of the spaceship. “You did what?!”
The first alien being winced, the second alien being glared at Superman for his judgmentality -- so did Lex -- and Santa Claus let out another ho-ho-ho’ing laugh and waved off Superman’s ire.
Lex was a little more verbal about his annoyance than to let it go at that, though. “It said it was an accident!” he told Superman, rounding on him. “It’s people like you that are making it impossible for these two to resolve anything properly, you know!” he huffed out, crossing his arms.
Superman got an odd look, and glanced around at the four of them -- plus Otis.
The he looked at Santa again, and asked almost plaintively, “...An accident?”
“Sounded that way when I heard about it,” Santa said.
“You hear about things like that off-planet?” Superman asked incredulously.
“Of course,” Santa Claus told him. “I may not get out there all that much, or that far, what with the Missus worrying about all the space-weather and the crazy fliers, but if somebody comes visiting hereabouts on Earth around Christmastime all peaceful-like, I like to be prepared,” the jolly old elf explained. “Now, let me see…” he said jovially, as he pulled out a list, then patted his pockets and pulled out a pair of glasses and put them on. he adjusted the glasses on his nose and held up the list, squinting at it.
Otis held up a flashlight and clicked it on, illuminating the manuscript properly.
“Ah, thank you, m’boy,” Santa said, as he unrolled the list and slowly worked his way through it. “Have a few elves that decided to retire the quadrant over from that odd little waterworld you two ended up with,” Santa said as he scrolled through the parchment, reading. “They like to keep me updated on all the backyard gossip in their neck of the galaxy, so I think I might just know someone who’s been consistently on my ‘nice’ list for some years now who can take over for you two... if that’s what you really want,” he added, glancing up from the text for a moment to look the two aliens over.
The alien beings both nodded at him without reserve.
“We wish for somebody who’ll handle things fairly, and make sure nobody gets hurt,” said the first alien being.
“Preferably without them or us getting hurt in the process,” the second being added.
“Well, then let’s see who we can come up with,” Santa puffed up his chest a bit and jiggled his belly like a bowl full of jelly, then waved the alien beings over to point out a few names and make some recommendations on good candidates.
Superman took a moment to stare, then shook his head and walked away to stow the toolbox he was still carrying back in Santa’s sleigh.
For whatever reason or another, when Superman walked back over, he decided to come to a stop right next to where Lex was standing.
Lex craned his head and looked up at him sideways.
“Did you really fix their spacecraft that fast?” Lex said, in descending tones. He didn’t like the idea of a fast patch job that might fail halfway through their trip back to the planet they invariably currently ‘owned’. Or the idea that Superman might have super-sped through the process and maybe missed something.
“They’ve got a self-repair module onboard,” Superman told him. “I just had to fix that and swap out a few of the parts. The ship did all the rest of the internal connections and diagnostics on its own.”
Lex grumbled under his breath a bit and recrossed his arms, but he guessed that’d have to do.
Otis gently poked Lex in the arm, and they exchanged glances of ‘Don’t you think you should...?’ and ‘I really don’t want to,’ and similar nonverbal complaints and gentle rejoinders, until Lex sighed in defeat and said, “Fine.”
Superman eyed the two of them, then opened his mouth, but before he could say anything, he was interrupted by a squeal of glee from the first alien being -- who then hugged Santa briskly -- and they were all distracted for awhile by farewells and goodbyes and seeing alien peoples in their fixed and newly-operational-again spaceship off properly.
After the aliens (except Superman) had left, Lex fidgeted in place for a bit, until Santa ho-ho-ho’ed at him and passed over a package from his bag with a smile and a wink.
Lex grinned and thanked him, and then promptly turned around and presented Otis with the gift, who took it from him with a “Thank you, sir,” a smile, and no small grace.
(Lex didn’t notice how Superman looked on with some skepticism at this display, while Santa told him quietly, “He’s been trying, and it’s the thought that counts.”)
By the time Otis had finished opening his gift and proclaiming it good, Santa was back in his sleigh and exclaiming, “Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!” to the two of them -- and Otis -- as he flew off into the night to finish his journey home.
Lex and Otis watched him go, and then they turned and started trudging towards the homing beacon to take it down.
“That was some excellent Christmas magic,” Lex said with no small satisfaction, as he and Otis switched the beacon off and folded it up.
“Yes, it was,” Otis agreed, smiling.
Superman didn’t say anything; he mostly just loomed, and when he wasn’t looming he was checking the horizon.
“How did you two get here?” Superman asked them, then made a face as Lex flipped the tarp off of their snowmobile and shook the loose snow off of it to the side of the vehicle.
“An airplane,” Lex informed him. “And this.”
“Right,” said Superman.
Lex grumbled for a bit as he helped Otis wrap up the tarp and stuff it in the back of their conveyance, along with the beacon electronics, and then grumbled some more after the very-patient Otis look gave him when he sat on the back seat and waited for Otis to get on.
“Fine,” Lex grumbled again, and he zipped open his coat and pulled out a brightly-wrapped package, which he thrust in Superman’s direction. “Here,” Lex said, shaking it at him.
Superman eyed it suspiciously.
“I got Otis’s help on this one,” Lex explained none-too-patiently to the flying menace. “It won’t cause a requiring-a-Superman Incident like the year before last.” Not that that would matter so much this time, since Superman was already on-hand, and could handle his own messes when he was already in the vicinity and involved in their generation, as far as Lex was concerned.
“He was going to give it to you last year,” Otis put out there.
“As a thank-you for the help in resolving the Incident from before,” Lex added grudgingly. “Except you were being bad last year, so no present for you.”
Superman gave Lex a long look, then tugged off the bow and ripped open the wrapping paper, carefully.
He unfolded the present and held it between his hands.
He stared at it.
“...It’s a cape,” he said.
“Yes,” said Lex. “I heard about those problems you’ve been having with Intergang, and then I heard what they were actually using as the material to cause those problems. So I made you a radiation-proof cape. It’s not lead-lined,” Lex told him. “It’s a new polymer that’s mixed with a couple other things thrown in, to make it somewhat more flexible and bullet-proof.”
Superman looked up from the cape and stared at him.
“It’s also a bit thermally-capturing, in case you get cold,” Lex added. “Since you’re up at-altitude all the time. If you do get cold, or whatever.”
Superman stared at him.
“...It’s purple and silver,” Superman told him.
Oh, wonderful, his eyes were still functioning. “Yes,” Lex said. “It is. Purple and silver are nicer colors than red and gold.”
Superman stared at him.
“...And the inside’s red and gold, if you really want to stick to the same old color scheme.”
Superman turned the cape around. He looked up at Lex with a frown.
Lex sighed at him. “No, the inside. There’s a seam at the bottom--” Lex huffed out a breath as Superman immediately turned it upside down and started picking at the stitching, because honestly, some people just had no taste at all.
“Otis…” Lex said, and they started out.
Not five minutes into their ride, Superman was following them from the side.
Lex grimaced and motioned to Otis to stop the snowmobile.
He did so and they skidded to a stop. They both pulled their goggles up and away from their eyes, and Lex gave Superman a long look, because what possible reason could he have had for stopping them now?
...Well, at least he was wearing the cape.
“There’s no speed limit in the Arctic,” Lex informed him dryly, “I checked.”
“What?” Superman said, then he blushed slightly. “No, I mean, that’s not it.”
“Rabid polar bears ahead, then?” Lex asked.
“What? --No!”
“Evil penguins?”
“No!”
“Dirty, damn--”
“--Lex!”
Lex stopped trying to guess and just waited, arms folded,
“I… I didn’t get you anything.” Superman said, sounding a bit… ashamed?
Lex blinked.
“Oh. Well.” Lex wasn’t sure what to think. He certainly hadn’t expected anything in return. Wasn’t Christmas supposed to be about the giving, not the receiving?
“Look, um,” Superman looked away and sighed, then looked back to them. “Could I at least follow you both, and make sure you get back to Metropolis all right?”
Lex thought about this.
“Fine,” he said, as he put his goggles back on. “But you’d better come along on the inside of the airplane, understand? My pilots aren’t rated for formation-flying with Supermen.”
Superman smiled at him, but Lex could hardly understand why.
Kryptonians. Sheesh.
-------------
END
Title: Christmas Wishes
From: To Be Revealed! josephina_x
For: Nicnac918
Type: fic, 5411
Rating: G
Warnings: none
Summary: Well, at least Superman hadn't crashed Santa's sleigh mid-air...
Request: Fic type: “reconciliation”, “humor”, “there can be angst in it but the ending needs to be fluffy”. Specific Prompt: "post-series reconciliation prompted by Lex's amnesia in some way".
Author's Note: Merry Clexmas :)
Christmas Wishes
"Hah!" Lex yelled, pointing at the sky.
And also at Superman. Who happened to be in the sky at the place he was pointing at. Or was trying to point at.
"Oh, phoo," Lex said, deflating as he noticed the caped crusader -- or whatever his nemesis's alternate name was these days -- hanging in front of the place in the sky he was pointing at. How had he gotten here already?!
Actually that wasn't all that important at the moment. What was important was that he needed to-- "Get out of the way!!"
"What?" said the alien menace, and then it hit him.
--The alien, not Lex; Lex was standing out of the line of fire.
It should also be noted that the hitting that was going on was quite literal in nature and, as an (un)natural result of this, Superman ploughed into the icy tundra of the north arctic with not a whole lot of aplomb. (It hit him from behind, you see.)
"Well, I did try and warn him," Lex told his executive assistant. Otis nodded at him, covering a somewhat-sympathetic wince not so well.
"You did," his aide agreed, and then the time for talking was over. Momentarily. As they watched, the thing that hit Superman in the back opened up, and two beings stepped out of it.
...Okay, technically more like tottered out of it, one of them holding their head with a hand-like appendage like it was feeling dizzy.
"Did we hit something?" it asked, sounding a little worried. "I think we might have hit something."
"Yes, you did, but it wasn't your fault," Lex informed them. "Also, I'm pretty sure he's fine. Nothing much seems to phase him these days, anyway."
"What?" the first being blurted out, as the second being sort of sat down right where it was at the end of the ramp, hard. "We hit a person?"
"Wellllllll..." said Lex. "Technically."
"Do... do you think we should move our ship?" the first being asked. The second one looked like it was doing an admirable job of not throwing up. It was also doing a very good job of turning interesting colors that weren't green. Probably meaning it was feeling sick, since its base color was supposed to be green.
"Yes. No. Maybe," Lex said in rapid succession. "Depends on whether you knocked him out or not. He might try to move on you?" Then he shrugged.
The two beings turned their heads towards each other and then blinked. The first being glanced back towards the opening in the ship, then down at the end of the ramp and the snow underneath it. The second being, watching this, sighed and slowly started to shove itself to its feet when it happened.
The spaceship shifted under them unevenly and they both flailed a bit as the spacecraft rocked back and forth. The first being, standing, didn't stay standing long -- it tumbled forward and fell off of the ramp and into the snow, face-first. The second one did nothing so violently graceless as being bodily launched off of the ramp; it simply slid down the ramp the rest of the way to the ground and ended up on its back, blinking up at the sky.
Well, at least the chill of the snow seemed to be doing it some good -- it wasn't quite so un-green anymore.
The first being righted itself in short order, the second being sat up, and Lex crossed his arms. And the three of them -- plus Otis -- watched as the spacecraft continued to rise unsteadily off of the ground, and not under its own power. Shortly thereafter, it tilted backwards and fell with an almighty crash.
"Ow," said Superman, straightening up and rubbing the back of his head.
"OUR SPACESHIP!" the first being shrieked, jumping to its feet and grabbing at its antennae in what looked like panic, or maybe consternation. Lex wasn't completely up on his alien-facial-expression reading yet. (Personally, he blamed Superman for that. Not being alien enough. The uncooperative lout.)
Superman stared at his accuser for a moment. It took him that long to blink and get his bearings. (Maybe he was concussed?) "--You hit me with it!"
"We're in the arctic, because there's nothing else around for miles," Lex informed him. "You're the one who got in the way."
Superman stared at him for another long second, as the first being shrieked again and ran behind him to pat down his poor, abused spaceship. "That doesn't explain why you're here," he said suspiciously.
Lex pointed to himself. "Welcoming committee," he said. "And Otis!" Because Otis generally did a good job of supporting him being welcoming, among the other things that he did. "Also," he added, "I had to set up the homing beacon."
"Homing bea--" (Wow, he really must be concussed. He'd actually repeated something Lex had said.)
"Well, yes," Lex cut in not-so-patiently, wondering why, exactly, another alien being that had his own spaceship didn't know how to land them properly. ...Then he remembered all that junk he'd read up on about the meteor showers in Smallville. (Nevermind.) "We don't have a space-landing system to talk to their autonav computers and guide them in yet, so they had to land manually. Away from anything they might otherwise accidentally hit."
"You're here," Superman all-but-growled out.
"Standard practice is to land between twenty to forty meters away from the beacon. I'm well within that boundary," Lex informed him, pointing down at the line in the snow a few inches in front of his toes. He'd drawn it earlier. Otis had helped him to carefully measure it out with twine.
Superman looked down at the line in the snow, then looked up again. "That's too close, especially for manual control, and how do you even know they measure in the same 'meters'?" Then Superman scowled at him. "And what do you mean, yet?"
Lex cocked his head at him and recrossed his arms. "In order," Lex began, "It isn't too close, because the autonav may not be able to recognize and avoid unknown alien structures on its own, but it can paint a distance around a beacon and plot a trajectory that doesn't let it get too close laterally, while the pilot controls the altitude. And, it also isn't too close because I talked to them about common units of measure before we talked about how to set up a homing beacon so they could land, before we set up a homing beacon so they could try to land. Safely."
Superman was frowning at him furiously.
"And," Lex added, raising a finger, pointing at Superman's chest, "I say 'yet' because clearly we're going to need one if you can't keep yourself out of other alien peoples' flight paths, even out in the middle of nowhere. --Make a note, Otis," he added over his shoulder to his executive assistant.
"Yes, sir," Otis said, dutifully taking it down on a cold-weather tablet with a pen. "Add 'build a spacenav network satellite interface for incoming alien visitors' to LexCorp's space program priority list. Got it." He paused for a moment. "Should I send a note to our people working on the joint project for the new ground-based air traffic control system, that they should work on common interfaces for connecting them?" he asked dutifully.
"Good man -- yes, do that now," Lex said, with a firm nod, then stopped and got contemplative for a moment. "Might want to make it for outgoing alien visitors, too," Lex added, upon second thought, because it wasn't completely out of the realm of possibility that that might actually happen someday, eventually. Probably. If Superman wasn't in an 'intervening' mood that someday, anyway.
His planet was very cool, if he did say so himself. (Even Superman didn't want to leave it.)
"Yessir," said Otis, and Superman puffed up and looked about to object to something else again when the wail from the alien being by the spaceship got louder.
"You BROKE it!" the first being yelled, sounding quite disconsolate about it. Lex sympathized completely.
"I--" Superman turned, did a double-take at the smashed-up looking spacecraft, and actually seemed flummoxed for a moment. "It hit me," he protested.
"We're stranded!" the first being whimpered out, then started to wail, sinking to its knees.
The second being, still sitting in the snow between Lex and Superman, just sighed, deeply.
Lex gave Superman a look of disgust. "No, you hit it," Lex reminded him. "It was an accident, at best."
"No!" Superman said. "I mean, it was in one piece before, wasn't it? It didn't break apart when it hit me, while I was hovering there, and it rammed into me and slammed me into the ground," the man pointed out, sounding aggrieved for some reason. "It shouldn't have broken from just being lifted up and over. It's stronger than I am!"
"That was the energy shielding," the second being said, sounding just as disgusted -- and tired -- with Superman as Lex felt. "It dissipates heat on descent and deflects orbital debris."
"And sometimes missiles!" Otis added, being helpful. He'd been privy to all Lex's conversations with their now-possibly-stranded visitors, after all.
"Or other things that get in the way as it comes down, which is why it's better to have it land in the middle of nowhere than risk it plowing through a building full of people, even if the ship itself would emerge unscathed," Lex continued in a similar vein. "And it needs to be turned off so people can enter and exit the spacecraft safely. After landing." Lex gave Superman a hard look, because one shouldn't just assume things.
Or float out in the middle of nowhere, in the way.
"Um," said Superman, and now -- finally -- he looked a bit properly apologetic. For once.
"I don't suppose you can fix it?" Otis put forth to Superman. That had Lex putting his glaring on hold for the moment to glance at Otis, the first being quieting, and the second being looking up at the gaudily-clad Kryptonian with some slight interest.
It actually wasn't a bad idea.
Up until the Kryptonian stood there like a lump and said, "Uh..."
Well, nevermind then. It would had been a good idea, anyway. If Superman had been properly alien, anyway.
The first being looked like it was about to start blubbering again, when the second alien sighed and slowly rose to its feet. It walked over, then plonked down next to the first being, and patted it on its shoulder-ish region with the end of a higher appendage. It looked comforting.
"Don't worry," it said to its partner-being. "I'll just ask Santa to fix our spacecraft for my Christmas wish, and we'll be able to go home after."
The first being turned to the second one and looked something like aghast. "But-- But--" it spluttered. "You really wanted a--!"
"--It's fine," the second being told it. "This is more important. And you need your wish more."
Superman looked distinctly uncomfortable for some reason. He edged towards Lex and asked, "Christmas wishes?"
"Well, yes," Lex told him, surprised that Superman hadn't heard of the tradition. ...Then again, he wasn't sure he'd classify Superman as wholly 'good'. (Nevermind then.) "I told them about Santa Claus, and Christmas wishes and presents and things. They were looking for help, and apparently they don't have those on their home planet, or any other they'd heard of thus far, except us." Lex paused. "Wishes, I mean. For Christmas."
"Are we too late?" the first being asked anxiously. "We tried to get here in time. Are we in time?"
"Otis?" Lex asked, turning to his assistant, who dutifully brought up the proper app on his just-as-dutiful tablet.
"NORAD reports that he's already left the North Pole region," his assistant reported.
"Well, drat." Lex made a face. "I guess we'll just have to wave him down on the way back." Maybe he should be counting his blessings, though. At least Superman hadn't crashed Santa's sleigh -- that'd certainly put the man in a mood not conducive for helping! "Hopefully he'll still have enough Christmas magic after the end of the night to be able to grant both wishes."
The first being's face drooped. "We still might be stranded?" it said, starting to get weepy again.
"Well, maybe for awhile," Lex told it, walking over to it and crouching down next to it. "You did want a very big wish, after all."
"Oh," it said quietly, then rubbed at the base of its left antennae with a higher appendage.
"I can promise that I'll devote my company to trying to help out in the meantime," Lex said. "We ought to be able to make at least a few of the repairs parts you need for you, if you tell us how to make them."
Superman straightened at that, looking belligerent for some reason. "Now, wait just a--"
"--But that might take us more than a year," Lex continued on, ignoring the very rude Kryptonian looming over them. "So you might just be better off pooling both your wishes this year for the single wish and waiting until next year to ask for your ship to be repaired."
"Next year?" the second being asked, tilting its head to the side. "What happens next year?"
Lex blinked, then realized he'd accidentally left out that part before. "Oh, apologies. I must not have been clear. We have Christmas every year."
The second being blinked at him, while the first being's eyes got really, really wide. (Which was no mean feat, because they were already pretty big to begin with.) "You do?" it asked.
Lex nodded.
"...Wait," the second being said slowly. "Your Santa leaves his arctic home, gets in his sleigh with his reindeer who fly him all over your planet, and he gives Christmas wishes to people every year for free?" It sounded almost like it wasn't sure whether this was a too-good-to-be-true sort of thing or not. Lex could sympathize with that, too.
"Well, not for free, per se," Lex said warningly, and the two aliens braced themselves, while Superman's shoulders tensed and he got all glower-y at Lex. "You have to be good all year," Lex told them. "that's the price," and while the second being relaxed a little bit, the first one let out a big breath of relief and all-out slumped in place.
For some reason, Superman relaxed, too.
"Oh, that's easy," said the first alien, sounding totally relieved.
"Well, for some of us here, it's sometimes a little more difficult," Lex said, feeling a bit abashed.
"Uh, Lex," Superman said.
"Hm?" Lex said, then Lex eyed Superman for the look he was getting from him.
Superman waved him upright, and Lex stood up. Then Superman leaned in uncomfortably close and said, "How do you know about this... Christmas wishes thing?"
"Oh! Oh! I know this one!" the first being said, almost bouncing in place on the ground and waving its appendages around excitedly. "Lex stayed awake last year and met him, and he asked for Santa to give Otis a really good Christmas gift for him, and he did!"
Otis blinked, then smiled at Lex. He'd been gracious enough to turn around and put his hands over his ears for that explanation when Lex had asked him to.
"I, uh, I know I'm supposed to pick out Christmas gifts for people myself," Lex said hurriedly to his assistant, "but I didn't want a repeat of the last Incident the year prior," Lex said, feeling a bit embarrassed. He'd really wanted it to be the last time Christmas ended in an Incident, after all.
"That's okay. It's the thought that counts." Otis told him, which left Lex feeling a bit anxious, since Otis had said the exact same thing about the Incident-year's gift, too, after they'd both finally finished cleaning up post-(the really awful, as in, 'needing-a-Superman-intervention' awful)-aftermath, and--
"And it was a really good gift, too, sir," Otis assured him, firmly and truthfully while smiling, and Lex relaxed, because of course it had been. Santa was the best expert at gifts ever, after all, and Lex had known and planned and done enough good that year to be able to have Santa visit him, hadn't he? He'd been able to meet Santa, after staying up all night, and ask the absolute best of the best in Christmas gift-giving for help in proper present-ing, all for his favorite assistant, hadn't he? --Of course he had!
Lex beamed in pleasure at Otis' seal of approval, and the first alien was now looking super-excited. The second one even seemed to be smiling, which it had not seemed wont to do before, in any of the numerous deep space communications that Lex had had with the pair. So that was probably a good sign.
"See?" Lex told the alien beings. "Everything will work out. It's Santa, after all."
"...Santa," the first being echoed happily, starting up at the sky, as the second being patted it on the shoulder again.
"We'll have to wait a bit, though," Lex reminded them, as he turned around and sat down in the snow next to them, cross-legged. "And hope he sees us when we try to flag him down."
"Well, he can help with that," the second being said, giving Superman a quelling look.
"Maybe," Lex said neutrally, having visions again of Superman crashing Santa's sleigh. "He can... hover... a bit. Maybe come up beside him and meet him in mid-air, at speed." He gave Superman a long look. "Carefully."
Superman winced.
"So," Otis said, opening the flap of his parka to put away his tablet and pull out a thermos. "Who wants hot cocoa?"
Three hands or hand-like appendages went up, from three people who were sitting on the snowy-icy arctic tundra.
They held them there, while the three persons turned their heads to look up at Superman.
Otis smiled, then turned his head and also looked at Superman, a bit more expectantly than the other three. Especially Lex with his glaring.
Superman stood there with his arms crossed. He looked at Otis, and then the three others.
And then he sighed and also raised his hand.
"Eeeeee!" said the first being, and it clapped its top appendages together gleefully as Otis filled, then extended to it, the first of the cups of plastic, containing hot cocoa.
----
Superman did, in fact, flag down Santa Claus' sleigh in mid-air, at speed, carefully. There was no crashing involved.
"Hi!" the first being called out, after Mr. Claus had landed and was climbing down out of his sleigh. "Hi! Hi!" It jumped up and rushed over, all flailing excited-happiness.
The second being followed at a more sedate pace, as did Lex and Otis. (Superman also moved at a similarly sedate pace over to where Santa had landed and was disembarking, but it was more of a float-down-and-land than a walk.)
By the time Lex had gotten over there with Otis, Mr. Claus was already pulling things out of his bag and passing them over into Superman’s awaiting arms.
Lex was fully ready to give him a glare, but stopped when he realized that the presents Superman was receiving weren’t for him, exactly. The odd look of the metal parts (and toolbox) was kind of a giveaway. So was the short and highly-technical lecture Mr. Claus was giving Superman, which had the Kryptonian’s eyes starting to glaze over.
“Um, which one is the Kerelian accelerator, again?” Superman said, trying to carefully juggle the heap of spare parts he was cradling in his arms, with some success. (None of them fell and hit the ground during his awkward shifting-about, anyway.)
“Not to point out the obvious,” Lex said, then proceeded to do just that. “But wouldn’t it be a better idea to let them do their own repairs?” Lex had serious doubts about Superman’s technical abilities with spaceships, considering.
“He broke it; he ought to be the one to fix it,” Santa Claus informed him. “Besides, it’s good practice for him.”
“I’ll supervise,” said the second alien being, with a glance to Santa to make sure their wish-giver in potentia had no issues with the idea, and then it walked off after Superman to do just that.
“I didn’t know you knew how to fix spaceships the easy way,” Lex said, not quite sidling up to Santa Claus. He figured magic would be more taxing than actual physical effort on spare parts that hadn’t been created out of thin air and nothing, thus ‘the hard way’.
“The sleigh’s a bit more high-tech than it looks,” Mr. Claus informed him. “I may have picked up a few things along the way, when I was learning to bend spacetime a bit to meet deadlines.”
Lex blinked. He guessed that sort of made sense, though.
“It helps to know what’s going on in the neighborhood, too, when the requests start coming in,” he added, smiling down at the first alien being, who was taking a newly-poured cup of cocoa from Otis and passing it along to Santa, with something akin to starry-eyed worship in its eyes.
“Thank you,” Santa told the young alien being as he accepted the cocoa from it, saying its name with perfect pronunciation ending in the correct half-screech, one that Lex was fairly sure a human throat wasn’t capable of mastering without several years of experience. “I’ve heard that you ran into some trouble with a planet that you didn’t quite expect to be yours?” Santa asked as he took a good sip of the cocoa.
It was about that point that Lex started to wonder exactly how far Santa’s surveillance net reached, if it was picking up things as far as a good galaxy-and-a-half away.
The first alien being’s antennae drooped, and it nodded. It toed at the snow a bit with one of its lower appendages.
“I didn’t mean to conquer the planet,” the first being told Santa, “It just sort of happened by accident.” It turned a bit blue-ish in spots, contrasting sharply with all the green, and when Santa ho-ho-ho’d at the alien in more of a commiserating chuckle than a laugh, Lex realized that the alien being was doing the alien equivalent of blushing.
“Wait,” Superman said, craning his head as he walked back from around the side of the spaceship. “You did what?!”
The first alien being winced, the second alien being glared at Superman for his judgmentality -- so did Lex -- and Santa Claus let out another ho-ho-ho’ing laugh and waved off Superman’s ire.
Lex was a little more verbal about his annoyance than to let it go at that, though. “It said it was an accident!” he told Superman, rounding on him. “It’s people like you that are making it impossible for these two to resolve anything properly, you know!” he huffed out, crossing his arms.
Superman got an odd look, and glanced around at the four of them -- plus Otis.
The he looked at Santa again, and asked almost plaintively, “...An accident?”
“Sounded that way when I heard about it,” Santa said.
“You hear about things like that off-planet?” Superman asked incredulously.
“Of course,” Santa Claus told him. “I may not get out there all that much, or that far, what with the Missus worrying about all the space-weather and the crazy fliers, but if somebody comes visiting hereabouts on Earth around Christmastime all peaceful-like, I like to be prepared,” the jolly old elf explained. “Now, let me see…” he said jovially, as he pulled out a list, then patted his pockets and pulled out a pair of glasses and put them on. he adjusted the glasses on his nose and held up the list, squinting at it.
Otis held up a flashlight and clicked it on, illuminating the manuscript properly.
“Ah, thank you, m’boy,” Santa said, as he unrolled the list and slowly worked his way through it. “Have a few elves that decided to retire the quadrant over from that odd little waterworld you two ended up with,” Santa said as he scrolled through the parchment, reading. “They like to keep me updated on all the backyard gossip in their neck of the galaxy, so I think I might just know someone who’s been consistently on my ‘nice’ list for some years now who can take over for you two... if that’s what you really want,” he added, glancing up from the text for a moment to look the two aliens over.
The alien beings both nodded at him without reserve.
“We wish for somebody who’ll handle things fairly, and make sure nobody gets hurt,” said the first alien being.
“Preferably without them or us getting hurt in the process,” the second being added.
“Well, then let’s see who we can come up with,” Santa puffed up his chest a bit and jiggled his belly like a bowl full of jelly, then waved the alien beings over to point out a few names and make some recommendations on good candidates.
Superman took a moment to stare, then shook his head and walked away to stow the toolbox he was still carrying back in Santa’s sleigh.
For whatever reason or another, when Superman walked back over, he decided to come to a stop right next to where Lex was standing.
Lex craned his head and looked up at him sideways.
“Did you really fix their spacecraft that fast?” Lex said, in descending tones. He didn’t like the idea of a fast patch job that might fail halfway through their trip back to the planet they invariably currently ‘owned’. Or the idea that Superman might have super-sped through the process and maybe missed something.
“They’ve got a self-repair module onboard,” Superman told him. “I just had to fix that and swap out a few of the parts. The ship did all the rest of the internal connections and diagnostics on its own.”
Lex grumbled under his breath a bit and recrossed his arms, but he guessed that’d have to do.
Otis gently poked Lex in the arm, and they exchanged glances of ‘Don’t you think you should...?’ and ‘I really don’t want to,’ and similar nonverbal complaints and gentle rejoinders, until Lex sighed in defeat and said, “Fine.”
Superman eyed the two of them, then opened his mouth, but before he could say anything, he was interrupted by a squeal of glee from the first alien being -- who then hugged Santa briskly -- and they were all distracted for awhile by farewells and goodbyes and seeing alien peoples in their fixed and newly-operational-again spaceship off properly.
After the aliens (except Superman) had left, Lex fidgeted in place for a bit, until Santa ho-ho-ho’ed at him and passed over a package from his bag with a smile and a wink.
Lex grinned and thanked him, and then promptly turned around and presented Otis with the gift, who took it from him with a “Thank you, sir,” a smile, and no small grace.
(Lex didn’t notice how Superman looked on with some skepticism at this display, while Santa told him quietly, “He’s been trying, and it’s the thought that counts.”)
By the time Otis had finished opening his gift and proclaiming it good, Santa was back in his sleigh and exclaiming, “Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!” to the two of them -- and Otis -- as he flew off into the night to finish his journey home.
Lex and Otis watched him go, and then they turned and started trudging towards the homing beacon to take it down.
“That was some excellent Christmas magic,” Lex said with no small satisfaction, as he and Otis switched the beacon off and folded it up.
“Yes, it was,” Otis agreed, smiling.
Superman didn’t say anything; he mostly just loomed, and when he wasn’t looming he was checking the horizon.
“How did you two get here?” Superman asked them, then made a face as Lex flipped the tarp off of their snowmobile and shook the loose snow off of it to the side of the vehicle.
“An airplane,” Lex informed him. “And this.”
“Right,” said Superman.
Lex grumbled for a bit as he helped Otis wrap up the tarp and stuff it in the back of their conveyance, along with the beacon electronics, and then grumbled some more after the very-patient Otis look gave him when he sat on the back seat and waited for Otis to get on.
“Fine,” Lex grumbled again, and he zipped open his coat and pulled out a brightly-wrapped package, which he thrust in Superman’s direction. “Here,” Lex said, shaking it at him.
Superman eyed it suspiciously.
“I got Otis’s help on this one,” Lex explained none-too-patiently to the flying menace. “It won’t cause a requiring-a-Superman Incident like the year before last.” Not that that would matter so much this time, since Superman was already on-hand, and could handle his own messes when he was already in the vicinity and involved in their generation, as far as Lex was concerned.
“He was going to give it to you last year,” Otis put out there.
“As a thank-you for the help in resolving the Incident from before,” Lex added grudgingly. “Except you were being bad last year, so no present for you.”
Superman gave Lex a long look, then tugged off the bow and ripped open the wrapping paper, carefully.
He unfolded the present and held it between his hands.
He stared at it.
“...It’s a cape,” he said.
“Yes,” said Lex. “I heard about those problems you’ve been having with Intergang, and then I heard what they were actually using as the material to cause those problems. So I made you a radiation-proof cape. It’s not lead-lined,” Lex told him. “It’s a new polymer that’s mixed with a couple other things thrown in, to make it somewhat more flexible and bullet-proof.”
Superman looked up from the cape and stared at him.
“It’s also a bit thermally-capturing, in case you get cold,” Lex added. “Since you’re up at-altitude all the time. If you do get cold, or whatever.”
Superman stared at him.
“...It’s purple and silver,” Superman told him.
Oh, wonderful, his eyes were still functioning. “Yes,” Lex said. “It is. Purple and silver are nicer colors than red and gold.”
Superman stared at him.
“...And the inside’s red and gold, if you really want to stick to the same old color scheme.”
Superman turned the cape around. He looked up at Lex with a frown.
Lex sighed at him. “No, the inside. There’s a seam at the bottom--” Lex huffed out a breath as Superman immediately turned it upside down and started picking at the stitching, because honestly, some people just had no taste at all.
“Otis…” Lex said, and they started out.
Not five minutes into their ride, Superman was following them from the side.
Lex grimaced and motioned to Otis to stop the snowmobile.
He did so and they skidded to a stop. They both pulled their goggles up and away from their eyes, and Lex gave Superman a long look, because what possible reason could he have had for stopping them now?
...Well, at least he was wearing the cape.
“There’s no speed limit in the Arctic,” Lex informed him dryly, “I checked.”
“What?” Superman said, then he blushed slightly. “No, I mean, that’s not it.”
“Rabid polar bears ahead, then?” Lex asked.
“What? --No!”
“Evil penguins?”
“No!”
“Dirty, damn--”
“--Lex!”
Lex stopped trying to guess and just waited, arms folded,
“I… I didn’t get you anything.” Superman said, sounding a bit… ashamed?
Lex blinked.
“Oh. Well.” Lex wasn’t sure what to think. He certainly hadn’t expected anything in return. Wasn’t Christmas supposed to be about the giving, not the receiving?
“Look, um,” Superman looked away and sighed, then looked back to them. “Could I at least follow you both, and make sure you get back to Metropolis all right?”
Lex thought about this.
“Fine,” he said, as he put his goggles back on. “But you’d better come along on the inside of the airplane, understand? My pilots aren’t rated for formation-flying with Supermen.”
Superman smiled at him, but Lex could hardly understand why.
Kryptonians. Sheesh.
-------------
END