OOM From The Future: The Dimension-Hopping Kid

[claudiometer]

Bristol Sector
Warehouse 13
South Dakota
2014

"Mandelbrot's in heaven, at least he will be when he's dead...Claudia isn't prone to wearing her headphones around the Warehouse. Generally, it's better if she can keep her ears open, and it's not one of those cases where she's pissed at someone and wants to make their life difficult

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[walksthebounds]

Jamie hates coming through in buildings; it almost always means there's someone there, and awkwardness inevitably ensues.

However, in this case, the someone seems to have some kind of music thingummy in, which might make her easy enough to slip by.

. . . Jamie attempts to saunter very quietly, in case she opens his eyes and catches him, and starts trying to come up with plausible explanations for his presence in a warehouse.

[claudiometer]

"I would love to indulge you there, Artie, but he found me. And I don't think this is gonna be as easy as sticking him back in Milliways - is it?" she adds, with a questioning look to Jamie.
He's the expert in this dimension-hopping stuff, after all. Claudia prefers to keep her experiences on that front limited.

[walksthebounds]

"Er," Jamie says. "Well, it could be, but it really oughtn't to be - I haven't been out this way in a while, so I should probably spend at least a bit of time in this world, for . . ."

He has no idea how much of an explanation he's given Claudia before, and settles for, "Complicated dimensional stuff. It doesn't have to be here, though, if it's a nuisance -"

[claudiometer]

"No, it's cool. You're probably better off here than with someone trying to stick you in high school and wondering where you disappeared to when you're gone." That sort of thing draws Attention, after all, and Claudia can't see high school being all that interesting to someone who's been to God knows how many worlds by now.
"Don't panic, Artie," she adds, hoping it'll actually keep Artie from wigging out. "I can keep an eye on him, and if something comes up... maybe we'll need an extra pair of hands."

[doyousmellfudge]

"F--j--!" Artie sputters, then sags. "Fine. But you are responsible for watching him, got it? If he wanders off or breaks something, don't come whining to me."

[claudiometer]

"Yeah, got it." Claudia tries not to roll her eyes. "You can get back to Myka and Pete's stuff now, that's all I've got."

[doyousmellfudge]

"Good. I will." The screen snaps off again.

[claudiometer]

"Such a ray of sunshine when we're busy," Claudia says, as she closes the Farnsworth and sticks it back in her tool belt.
"Hokay, so. Number one, don't wander off, please please please. This place is big enough that you could be lost for months on end, and it's hard to make sure people get fed when we can't find 'em. Number two, if you feel the need to try picking something up--" She digs in another pocket of her tool belt, and hands Jamie a pair of purple rubber gloves. "Put those on first. They'll help keep anything weird from happening to you."
She knows the urge to poke at the shiny can be a damn strong one (let's look at all the messes she's gotten herself into, over the years...); given that, it's better to make sure Jamie's prepared.

[walksthebounds]

"Don't worry," Jamie says, solemn-faced. "I've tried the starving to death thing and it really does get old. I'm not going to risk missing the dinner bell."

He tucks the gloves into a pocket, and glances around. Stuff, stuff and more stuff. "Er - actually, is there anything I could eat now?"

Jamie may be nearing four hundred years old, but he's still got a teenaged boy's stomach.

[claudiometer]

And from yet another pocket of her tool belt, she produces a candy bar. "I learned a while back that it never hurts to have emergency rations out here. Oh, and thing number three, the gloves aren't foolproof, so ask before you try picking something up, if you can. Some of the video screens are still less than informative."
She's been working on that, when she can, but it's a big project (to put it mildly).

[walksthebounds]

"Thanks!" says Jamie, brightening visibly.

The candy bar vanishes in record speed. Jamie swallows the last bite, and asks, "Before I start poking at mystery gizmos, not to be a bother, but can we cover the basics? Bathroom, for a start, and places to sleep? I'd rather not risk getting lost forever when all I want is the loo."

[claudiometer]

"Places to sleep'll be at the B&B - unless you're Artie, who I think just sleeps in his office half the time. We'll cover that closer to dinner. Nearest bathroom that won't eat people is..." Claudia frowns slightly, and looks around for a few moments. "That way," she finally says, pointing to her right. "Two aisles down, at the end."
There are emergency stops throughout the Warehouse - as its size, there would have to be - but there are also toilets that no sane human being would want to try using. Eating people may or may not be an exaggeration.

[walksthebounds]

". . . and the bathrooms that do eat people?"

Jamie feels this is ALSO important to know.

[claudiometer]

"The bathrooms that do eat people have video screens on the doors saying that they eat people. And there aren't any around here anyway."
Most of them are in the same area as the Recursive B&B.

[walksthebounds]

Video screens. Right. Jamie makes a very strong mental note.

"All right - is there anything else around here that eats people that I ought to know about, while I'm at it?"

[claudiometer]

"Nothing that you should have to worry about. Can't think of any reason why the Dark Vault would factor into things, and most stuff that isn't in there won't do anything unless you provoke it. If you keep your eyes open, you'll be fine."