I apologise for the late arrival of this chapter. But on the bright side it is massive! (over 11,000 damn I'm good) I had to post it in two sections because of the hugeness of it
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Now I'm stuck! Lol. I absolutely love the plot. It flows well, is interesting, and isn't overburdened with description (yes yes, I need to get over that! ^_^) So let me address the nit-picky stuff before I run to read part 2:
She moved to another road which appeared again, like out of nowhere between the thick trees.
You don't need 'like' since this is a story and not a conversation.
She shoved the rains into the older woman’s hands and moved to leave.
rain=weather reign=monarch's time on the throne rein=a horses equipment
“You have only ten men with you. Dragulia has hundreds. The work that Marcell and the others, and me, have been doing in not about saving him.”
And I
“Can we trust these pheasants?"
peasant=person pheasant=bird
And now you hate me XP But if you weren't such a dedicated writer or weren't so excited about this story I would never have mentioned this stuff. And now- like I mentioned earlier-I must run to read part two!
XD dude, my beta's gonna be so miffed. She just spend ages nitpicking the whole thing. But then again I don't think either one of us knew about the bird thing. Thanks for noticing. I will fix them tomorrow. Way too late today, I'm off to sleep XP
Comments 3
She moved to another road which appeared again, like out of nowhere between the thick trees.
You don't need 'like' since this is a story and not a conversation.
She shoved the rains into the older woman’s hands and moved to leave.
rain=weather
reign=monarch's time on the throne
rein=a horses equipment
“You have only ten men with you. Dragulia has hundreds. The work that Marcell and the others, and me, have been doing in not about saving him.”
And I
“Can we trust these pheasants?"
peasant=person
pheasant=bird
And now you hate me XP But if you weren't such a dedicated writer or weren't so excited about this story I would never have mentioned this stuff. And now- like I mentioned earlier-I must run to read part two!
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Alos, very glad that you are enjoyng the gore. :)
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