(no subject)
"Man, you don't really think she's gonna go with him, do you?"
Rikuou very rarely has to stop and contemplate his existence. Usually he's a pretty accepting guy, willing to role with the punches and take what camp throws at him.
"I think I dropped a stitch," continues Kon, sighing.
Of course, he isn't usually pregnant. The last few months have just been one long, terribly confusing haze of hormones and bloating. And knitting with Kon.
For Kon, it at least makes sense. Buffy put her foot down about children and said if Kon wanted to have ten kids, he was at least going share some of the pregnancy. So Kon being pregnant, well, that logically followed.
Rikuou, on the other hand, knew and had always known that the arguments with Kazahaya were a turn-on, but he'd never thought he could end up pregnant from them.
"Yeah," Buffy had agreed, "that just goes against all sex education, like, ever."
"Well," Rikuou had replied, "camp."
"Yeah. But hey. It's not like you were fooling anyone. We all knew the throwing stuff was foreplay."
"Have you ever gotten pregnant from foreplay?"
"No. But pregnant guys? Totally funnier than pregnant girls."
Buffy had a point, Rikuou had to admit. Not that this really made it better.
Kon absently ups the volume with his foot while trying to correct his knitting. Their daily soaps have become a ritual since the hormones started flipping out.
"Rachel better get her act together soon," says Rikuou, hating the statement.
"Dude, tell me about it."
"That evil twin excuse was bad when she started using it three weeks ago."
"You guys are just getting gayer by the minute, huh," comments Buffy, coming in. "I brought...pickles and salmon for Rikuou and whipped cream lobster for Kon. Love you, honey, but what the hell."
"It's good. Hi Buffy!"
"Rikuou, your husband says he's going to be home when you stop being a jerk."
"What'd I do?"
"I think he's just still bitter camp decided he had to make an honest woman of you. Either that or I missed something, but hey. I told him you two shouldn't fight cuz kids need a stable, loving environment."
Rikuou snickers. "What'd he say?"
"That's why he's coming back at all. You owe me. Is Rachel still doing the evil twin thing?" she adds, settling down next to Kon.
Kon leans over and kisses her. "Yeah."
"...Did you get your shirt let out?" she asks, blinking at the Superman symbol firmly resting on his growing belly.
Kon looks shifty. "It was feeling snug."
"Don't tell me he looks fat," says Rikuou, hating how defensive and pouty he sounds.
"No."
"Because we're not fat," adds Kon.
"Definitely not fat."
"We're beautiful."
"Still totally the prettiest princess."
"What about me?" protests Kon.
"I'd still do you," says Buffy affectionately.
"You're not just saying that?"
"If you're going to convince it do it in the other room."
"Commercial break's ending. Maybe next one," says Buffy, kissing Kon's temple.
"I want my husband," sniffles Rikuou. There's a pause. "...where the hell did that come from."
"Hormones," says Kon, at the same time Buffy says "Pretty pretty princess soul."
Camp wins this round.