ahaha engaged what
Okay, so. Buffy loves Kon. I've talked about that before. If you don't buy that, then this entire thing isn't going to work.
That said, there are other things. This...never comes up in canon. No one ever proposes to Buffy. The closest it comes is that dream sequence Angel has where he and Buffy get married and she catches on fire. AWESOME. Anyway. This means this essay involves a lot of me pulling stuff the hell out of my ass.
1. Buffy vs. Commitment
Buffy is very firmly commited to Angel (whom we will discuss in section two). This is canon. She is never as commited to her other relationships, both in the sense that she isn't as serious about them and in the sense that she is, for their entire duration, in love with someone else. I think Buffy probably thought about getting married to Angel and having kids and doing all that schmoopy domestic stuff she knew she couldn't. But, at the same time, she knew she couldn't. In "The Prom," she denies wanting kids and a normal life. Of course, Angel's also breaking up with her and I think she probably would've said the sky was pink if she thought it'd make him stay.
During her relationship with Angel, Buffy likes commitment. Angel gives her a ring and she's like "omg ♥" and then she emos about it, like, all season. Anyway. She really wants Angel to give her the signs that he's in this relationship for the long-term. And he doesn't because he's an emotard and then they break up. So.
Her next significant relationship is Riley, but he's not her next actual relationship. She has this brief thing with some guy named Parker, where basically he's really nice for a week and Buffy's very receptive and happy about this, then they have sex and he dumps her and Buffy's clingy and upset. I mention this because (and I am, as I mentioned, completely pulling stuff out of my ass here) I think this relationship did have a negative impact on her relationship with Riley. Why? Cuz, well, I think up until that point Buffy had a very sex=love kind of attitude, or at least sex=commitment, and that relationship took the big deal out of sex. Except Buffy still does this sex=relationship, but she gets after that that not everyone else does. I also think it made her more generally guarded, and that if Riley had come first, she would've been much more open to him as someone to love. Of course, she might not have been.
Overall, I see Buffy, especially, for no reason I can probably canonically really back up, post-Angel Buffy as someone who likes commitment. Buffy is actually very loyal in relationships, even when she's still in love with Angel during them. She doesn't cheat, she doesn't even really appear to notice other guys. Spike falls for her while she's with Riley and her reaction is basically "wtf no." Spike's tactic for going forward with what he wants is not trying to make himself more appealing to Buffy nearly as much as it's trying to break up Riley and Buffy. Basically? If Buffy is with someone, she's with them, with the somewhat exception of poor Scott in season three, who has the problem of being with Buffy when Angel gets back in the picture, but IIRC she still doesn't do anything with Angel until Scott breaks up with her.
2. Buffy + Angel 4 Ever
Yeah, Buffy loves Angel. Buffy always loves Angel it's zomg destiny and wow so much love. Buffy decides this is destiny and so much true love? After a maximum of...six months? That's total time knowing him, not even dating him. I think. So, uh. Buffy kinda rushes into things sometimes a little. And Angel will always be her first love.
But. He dumped her. And he's not here. Which is very important to Buffy's ability to function as a human being. Angel and Buffy never appear in the same place for more than one or two episodes after their breakup because it does completely fucked up and terrible things to both their personalities when they're together and honestly, yeah, I don't think Buffy knows how to function with Angel around and not wanting her. Anyway. As long as Angel isn't around, Buffy's good at thinking she's better off without him. She's also aware that Angel had a point about their complete lack of future.
At the same time, she knows that she and Kon don't really have a much better future unless several things happen:
1. They remember camp.
2. They can find each other after camp.
3. Kon starts aging.
If these things happen, Buffy sees no reason why she wouldn't stay with him over Angel. If Angel were actually around would she feel the same? Somewhat, but then as time passed she'd turn more and more into a shell of a human being. Good times.
3. So. Wtf marriage.
It's important to note that, while Buffy doesn't entirely consciously realize this, she doesn't actually believe Kon will be able to find her after camp. She just doesn't think life's ever going to be that nice to her. At the same time, she assumes that if Kon did find her after camp, she'd end up married to him at some point in the undefined future. because, although it's something of a blow to her ego, she knows Kon is stronger than she is, and if he's around he'll be able to help her out and godmode the fuck out of most of the stuff in her universe. So she figures if Kon's around, she'll live for a long time and doesn't see any reason why she'd break up with him unless he cheated on her, which he wouldn't.
(As a side note, I don't think Buffy ever really assumes she's going to break up with any of her boyfriends. I'm not sure why I think this. I just do.)
So the idea of marrying Kon at some point in the ideal future is familiar to Buffy, because, well, why wouldn't she? He's sweet and fun and hot and great to be around and she completely adores him. So Kon asking her to marry him was scary mainly because she assumed it was going to be sometime far far away, and she was completely shocked that it would be now. And she doesn't want to marry him without knowing, at least, that there's a future there. I see Buffy as actually being very serious about marriage as an institution. Her parents got divorced, she hated it, she doesn't want to have to go through any kind of divorce again, or go through losing her spouse. Buffy thinks losing Kon would suck a whole lot all on its own, and it would be even harder if she were married to him.
But. She didn't want to say no because, well, Kon's sweet and fun and hot and great to be around and she completely adores him and he proposed on a cloud with a ring he made himself omg omg omg eeeeeee. And, well. She does want to marry him. Someday. So she moved it to someday. She's not ready yet, and she doesn't think it's right yet, but that doesn't stop her thinking it will be. So she's perfectly happy saying she'll marry Kon eventually because she wants to marry Kon eventually.
Right. I don't know if that was in any way necessary. But I feel better. And if you missed it and are curious, proposing went here.
That said, there are other things. This...never comes up in canon. No one ever proposes to Buffy. The closest it comes is that dream sequence Angel has where he and Buffy get married and she catches on fire. AWESOME. Anyway. This means this essay involves a lot of me pulling stuff the hell out of my ass.
1. Buffy vs. Commitment
Buffy is very firmly commited to Angel (whom we will discuss in section two). This is canon. She is never as commited to her other relationships, both in the sense that she isn't as serious about them and in the sense that she is, for their entire duration, in love with someone else. I think Buffy probably thought about getting married to Angel and having kids and doing all that schmoopy domestic stuff she knew she couldn't. But, at the same time, she knew she couldn't. In "The Prom," she denies wanting kids and a normal life. Of course, Angel's also breaking up with her and I think she probably would've said the sky was pink if she thought it'd make him stay.
During her relationship with Angel, Buffy likes commitment. Angel gives her a ring and she's like "omg ♥" and then she emos about it, like, all season. Anyway. She really wants Angel to give her the signs that he's in this relationship for the long-term. And he doesn't because he's an emotard and then they break up. So.
Her next significant relationship is Riley, but he's not her next actual relationship. She has this brief thing with some guy named Parker, where basically he's really nice for a week and Buffy's very receptive and happy about this, then they have sex and he dumps her and Buffy's clingy and upset. I mention this because (and I am, as I mentioned, completely pulling stuff out of my ass here) I think this relationship did have a negative impact on her relationship with Riley. Why? Cuz, well, I think up until that point Buffy had a very sex=love kind of attitude, or at least sex=commitment, and that relationship took the big deal out of sex. Except Buffy still does this sex=relationship, but she gets after that that not everyone else does. I also think it made her more generally guarded, and that if Riley had come first, she would've been much more open to him as someone to love. Of course, she might not have been.
Overall, I see Buffy, especially, for no reason I can probably canonically really back up, post-Angel Buffy as someone who likes commitment. Buffy is actually very loyal in relationships, even when she's still in love with Angel during them. She doesn't cheat, she doesn't even really appear to notice other guys. Spike falls for her while she's with Riley and her reaction is basically "wtf no." Spike's tactic for going forward with what he wants is not trying to make himself more appealing to Buffy nearly as much as it's trying to break up Riley and Buffy. Basically? If Buffy is with someone, she's with them, with the somewhat exception of poor Scott in season three, who has the problem of being with Buffy when Angel gets back in the picture, but IIRC she still doesn't do anything with Angel until Scott breaks up with her.
2. Buffy + Angel 4 Ever
Yeah, Buffy loves Angel. Buffy always loves Angel it's zomg destiny and wow so much love. Buffy decides this is destiny and so much true love? After a maximum of...six months? That's total time knowing him, not even dating him. I think. So, uh. Buffy kinda rushes into things sometimes a little. And Angel will always be her first love.
But. He dumped her. And he's not here. Which is very important to Buffy's ability to function as a human being. Angel and Buffy never appear in the same place for more than one or two episodes after their breakup because it does completely fucked up and terrible things to both their personalities when they're together and honestly, yeah, I don't think Buffy knows how to function with Angel around and not wanting her. Anyway. As long as Angel isn't around, Buffy's good at thinking she's better off without him. She's also aware that Angel had a point about their complete lack of future.
At the same time, she knows that she and Kon don't really have a much better future unless several things happen:
1. They remember camp.
2. They can find each other after camp.
3. Kon starts aging.
If these things happen, Buffy sees no reason why she wouldn't stay with him over Angel. If Angel were actually around would she feel the same? Somewhat, but then as time passed she'd turn more and more into a shell of a human being. Good times.
3. So. Wtf marriage.
It's important to note that, while Buffy doesn't entirely consciously realize this, she doesn't actually believe Kon will be able to find her after camp. She just doesn't think life's ever going to be that nice to her. At the same time, she assumes that if Kon did find her after camp, she'd end up married to him at some point in the undefined future. because, although it's something of a blow to her ego, she knows Kon is stronger than she is, and if he's around he'll be able to help her out and godmode the fuck out of most of the stuff in her universe. So she figures if Kon's around, she'll live for a long time and doesn't see any reason why she'd break up with him unless he cheated on her, which he wouldn't.
(As a side note, I don't think Buffy ever really assumes she's going to break up with any of her boyfriends. I'm not sure why I think this. I just do.)
So the idea of marrying Kon at some point in the ideal future is familiar to Buffy, because, well, why wouldn't she? He's sweet and fun and hot and great to be around and she completely adores him. So Kon asking her to marry him was scary mainly because she assumed it was going to be sometime far far away, and she was completely shocked that it would be now. And she doesn't want to marry him without knowing, at least, that there's a future there. I see Buffy as actually being very serious about marriage as an institution. Her parents got divorced, she hated it, she doesn't want to have to go through any kind of divorce again, or go through losing her spouse. Buffy thinks losing Kon would suck a whole lot all on its own, and it would be even harder if she were married to him.
But. She didn't want to say no because, well, Kon's sweet and fun and hot and great to be around and she completely adores him and he proposed on a cloud with a ring he made himself omg omg omg eeeeeee. And, well. She does want to marry him. Someday. So she moved it to someday. She's not ready yet, and she doesn't think it's right yet, but that doesn't stop her thinking it will be. So she's perfectly happy saying she'll marry Kon eventually because she wants to marry Kon eventually.
Right. I don't know if that was in any way necessary. But I feel better. And if you missed it and are curious, proposing went here.