sup fic.
To say that Kon never thought it would happen like this would be to drastically underestimate Kon's imagination. After all, Kon is a sixteen-year-old virgin with a girlfriend who, as far as he's concerned, is about the hottest thing ever. And just because he can't have sex with her doesn't mean he hasn't thought about it. A lot. Basically all the time. Except when he's with her, because when he's with his brain basically ceases all functioning on a level higher than "Buffy Buffy Buffy yay!" Unless there's serious business, in which case he can usually manage "Buffy Buffy--Buffy making serious face, uh oh--Buffy Buffy Buffy--fuck, why is Luthor here--Buffy."
But if Kon had actually planned it--and he has planned it, elaborate dinners and candles and actually making the bed for once--it wouldn't have happened how it did. It would have been romantic. Not that he's complaining.
"You know," said Buffy, glancing up at him, "when most people watch a movie, they watch it. Yeah, crazy, I know. But just give it a second and I think you'll get it."
Kon didn't try to deny that he'd been watching her pretty steadily for the last hour, because Buffy's not that dumb. So he smiled kind of sheepishly instead. "You're more interesting."
"We don't have to watch movies," she pointed out.
Kon tightened his arms around her waist. "I like movies."
"You like lying on the bed and snuggling," she pointed out. "Which we can do without movie."
Kon tried to figure out how to explain that if there was a movie playing, there was a good reason they were sitting on the bed cuddling and he didn't have to feel like he should be out doing justice or something. Which he sometimes had to think when he had no good excuse for just being with his girlfriend.
In the time it took him to try to figure out why he needed an excuse to be with his girlfriend, Buffy turned off the movie and set the laptop on the floor, then curled up against him and kissed his neck.
"See? Look at us. We're rebels. Spending time together without technology. I bet this is how life was in colonial times. Except people didn't wear spandex."
She looked up at him and smiled and her hair sort of drifted towards her face and she automatically stuck it behind her ear and he wasn't sure how he was supposed to not kiss her there, because no one in the entire universe could resist that.
Buffy made a noise in the back of her throat like this was the best idea ever and repositioned slightly and Kon repositioned when his neck hurt a little and before he was completely aware he'd been moving he was on top of her and breathing heavily, and when he opened his eyes she took a second longer and he could see her eyes refocusing and her brain trying to turn back on. And it wasn't like he didn't think she wanted him back, he'd just never quite seen what he did to her before.
Belately, he noticed she wasn't wearing a shirt, and he wondered when that happened. Buffy blinked a couple more times before noticing the same thing.
"Um," she said.
"Yeah," he responded. "We should."
"We should?" she asked.
"Stop," he said, and it actually hurt to force the word out, because there was a very hot girl in her bra and jeans on the bed under him, and he couldn't figure out what part of this lead to stop.
"We should," she says, and it wasn't agreement or question, it was just sort of thoughtful.
"Yeah," he repeated.
And then she just looked at him and then looked over to the floor when her shirt had somehow ended up and murmured, "Don't."
"Don't...?" he asked, because that's the sort of thing that needed clarification in case it meant no means no or something.
"Don't," she repeated, more urgently, and then arched up and kissed him, wrapping her arms around his neck and he got what don't meant.
He was working on getting her bra off because this was high on his prorities when he felt her swear into his mouth.
"Huh?"
"Zipper," she replied.
"Zipper?" he repeated, because bras were confusing and he could've just TTKed if off except this way he got to touch her back and he decided he was so far gone because he thought touching her back was sexy.
"Does this thing have a zipper? Or do you just melt it off with force of will? Cuz right now, I think I want you out of it enough I could handle that."
"Huh?" he repeated.
"You. Clothes. Bad," she explained, groping around on his back. Which shouldn't have been gropeable, but Kon was pretty sure that at that point in the making out Buffy poking him in the chin would be a pretty major turn on.
"Oh, yeah," he said, fumbling with TTK but Buffy found the zipper pretty easily and apparently wanted to deal with it herself and Kon wondered why the hell this much thought was involved in his girlfriend stripping him.
And okay, getting a spandex suit off was hard. And he broke her bra because as far as he was concerned, anything that covering up something that good should not be that easy to break. And Kon's brain didn't exactly shut off at that point so much as he had a lot better things to do that think about what was happening. Like enjoy what was happening.
Buffy snuggles up to him, and Kon thinks on the whole, afterglow could be much worse.
"You know," Buffy thoughtfully agrees, "it says some really bad things about my sex life that so far turning into a muppet isn't the worst thing that's happened afterward."
Kon kisses her forehead as best he can, which sort of involves opening his gigantic puppet mouth at her hair, but he's pretty sure she gets it. "At least camp waited til after we were done."
"Yeah, that was a real shock. And, hey, bonus, we can totally tell the internet that Man of Steel Woman of Kleenex thing is wrong."
If Kon had planned it, it would've been different. But he's having a lot of trouble complaining.