The Highlanders
Previous: The Power of the Daleks
The Highlanders
Oh, hello footage of Jamie from the end of The War Games! (and welcome back, Loose Cannon recons)
And we open on the fields of Culloden, where a certain kilted young laddie is about to pipe (or cling) his way into our hearts.
Ah, hello footage of redcoats being stabbed!
BAGPIPES! It's like I'm back at Wooster... (oh well, I'll be hearing plenty more of it when Winter Break ends)
Aww, I love how Polly wants to chase after Ben because she knows he'll get in trouble if she doesn't stop him first.
"Every droplet left..." Ladies and gentlemen and fangirls, James Robert M.F. McCrimmon.
I think he just played a couple notes, too, but they seemed a bit...strangled, somehow.
Wait, what's a tam-o'-shanter...oh. THAT hat. "I would like a hat like this!" (ALSO PAT YOUR FACE)
Two, meet your future space husband.
Ben, somehow I don't think threatening them with a gun is really going to do much good.
Oh. I guess it is. Never mind...
"Will you both give us your word that you will not molest us?" #nocomment
And Alexander goes down. Ouch. But Two what is your voice.
"Doctor von Werr."
"Doctor who?"
"That's what I said."
Oh, I see, that's a GERMAN accent. And Hanover. Yes...
Wow, the redcoats are kind of assholes, aren't they?
...and they're actually considering carting some of them off as slave labor to the West Indies. What.
Is this where things begin to turn into, as Nentari puts it, The Polly Wright Show?
Oh joy, we actually get footage of them getting noosed up.
They day is saved by Grey! AKA, that guy who wants to sell the prisoners off. Yay...?
It seems to me that all highlanders are human clingwrap by nature, or something of the sort.
Bechdel Test: Passed (I think).
Polly: friends over jewelry any day. Atta girl.
"Well you bend down and I'll climb on top of you..." Come on, Hannah, give the people some context. #piggyback
Two seems to be enjoying himself in that jail cell, doesn't he?
Nice. Two caught on to the whole superstitious-Scot thing and is using astrology to tell them off.
"He's probably never heard of germs."
"What was that word?"
"It's a secret word."
Wow. The prison guards disapprove of Two's recorder playing even more than Ben.
Has anyone else noticed that Jamie's kind of adorable when he's mad? #ofcourseyouhave
Ladies and gentlemen, The Polly Wright Show: in which Polly is awesome.
I'm still trying to work out exactly what Two has up his sleeves (other than Prince Charles' silk standard, and that was in his waistcoat).
Oh. Actually, that's exactly what Two had up his sleeve. And now he's threatening to accidentally shoot Grey in the face o___O
"Do you suffer from headaches?"
"No I don't!"
*SLAM* "No headaches?"
Thank you, Two, for reminding us of those times when violence is funny.
This should be a children's nursery rhyme: Doctor Two is greater than you. (Or algebra: Two > you.)
Poor Ffinch, his men are really keen on delaying his rescue from the pit, aren't they?
Uh oh, Two's hiding in a scullery and there's a mean ol' nasty redcoat coming! WHAT WILL HE DO? Is there a disguise? THERE IS!
So guess where the boys are now? #ONABOAT
OH MY GOD LADY!TWO WHAT IS YOUR VOICE EVEN.
I just realized: the slave trader's name is "Trask." Sounds more like a name used in one of the sci-fi Who stories, not a historical.
WHICH REMINDS ME. This is the last alien-free historical Who story until Black Orchid, isn't it? I wonder if I'll miss them...
"...and Jamie, son of Donald McCrimmon, a piper like his father and his father's father." #jamesrobertMFmccrimmon
Ah, and Ben finally catches on! Next question is, can he come up with an escape plan?
("Polly practices stabbing with Kirsty's dirk, however, she drops it.") Is Polly gonna hafta stab a bitch?
So I see Polly and Kirsty with those oranges and all I can think of is the Orange Girls mishap from one of PG Wodehouse's Jeeves stories.
(The mishap in question being that girls in a play are supposed to have orange balls of yarn to throw at the audience but get real oranges.)
And now I'm going to go a step further and quote Monty Python: "But this is a temperate zone!"
Apparently someone just called the Doctor a wench. I didn't realize until now how much I needed that in my life.
Wow. Polly and Kirsty are having so much fun abusing Ffinch, aren't they?
Ah, so they're not really being carted off as slaves, but as indentured servants. Or maybe I have that wrong.
One of the preferred ways of defying The Man in the Whoniverse seems to be tearing up paper, doesn't it?
An alien time traveler dressed as an old woman is threatening a clerk with a gun into playing a game of cards. This show.
"We ladies are going to leave first..." Note that Two's using his regular voice to tell him this.
Polly basically just told Two that he's a pretty girl. #patricktroughtonisaprettygirl
Two, I really don't like this attitude you've suddenly adopted, but you're such a pretty girl.
Also, WHY are you so gun-happy in this story? I really don't even.
"You must've robbed the Duke's arsenal!"
"Yes...something like that."
I think this comic explains it best.
And the ring comes into pay again! Also, I know I've been saying it a lot lately but...Pat. Your face.
Wait Ben just got thrown over the side of the boat what HEY IT'S THAT OTHER THEME TUNE VARIATION I REALLY LIKE.
Ah, of course. Ben is an Able Seaman, after all, and was probably trained in tying and untying ship-knots.
Oh wait, THIS must be the awesome escape my Blog watchers were talking about...
Gee, that redcoat with the bandaged head and the fake mustache and PAT YOUR FACE sure looks familiar, doesn't he?
Wow, looks like Grey really does have some small sense of justice if he's going out of his way to haul the highlanders off legally.
And Ben actually gets to explain his stunt! Turns out it had nothing to do with untying knots and everything to do with flexing his muscles.
To reiterate the point: Patrick Troughton was a very pretty girl.
Yes, Two, you would like a hat like EVERY hat.
And I'm curious: how exactly is it that you already know that Jamie has "soft hands and face?"
"CREAG AN TUIRE!!!" Because NOBODY tries to touch Jamie and gets away with it (except the Doctor).
(Of course, with them it's a mutual thing. A thing called The Cling.)
Ooo yay! Censored in Australia...I mean, surviving fight scene footage!
Jamie just threw Trask overboard. #jamesrobertMFmccrimmon #BAMFladdiesinkilts
"We never even said goodbye to Jamie."
"No, he just disappeared. I wonder where he went to?"
"Right here!" *completely expected Jamie*
Aww, poor Ffinch is going to be Team Two's substitute hostage, isn't he?
Well, not really hostage, but close. At least Polly gave him his ID back.
And he gets to set Grey on the road to what's coming to 'im, and he even gets a goodbye kiss from Polly. Aww.
"Doctor, can we take him with us?"
"If he teaches me to play the bagpipes."
"If you want, Doctor!"
Welcome aboard the TARDIS, Jamie! I'm sure we'll be seeing a lot more of you over the course of the next few seasons.
Next: The Underwater Menace