The Smugglers
Previous: Season 3: The War Machines
The Smugglers
"This reconstruction is dedicated to the memory of Michael Craze." .........wait a second when did he die.
1998, according to Wikipedia. I honestly had no idea...
So apparently we begin before the end of The War Machines, and pacing One is pacing.
"But I've only got a couple 'o minutes!" Ben, I think you'll find very shortly that you have literally all the time in the world.
"Young man, it's going to be a long time before you see your ship again!"
"Why? When are we going to land?"
"I don't know. That's the cause of half my troubles through my journeys. I never know. I have no control over where I land..."
One is definitely annoyed at Ben and Polly's presence, although he seems more keen on being alone than he did when Steven almost left.
(That scene was the one part of The Massacre that really stuck with me.)
Ah, the Doctor doing what he does best: chasing after his companions so they don't break themselves.
I wish I could see Hartnell's expressions properly so I could tell just how bemused he is by this situation. He's certainly chuckling a lot.
So I wonder if the TARDIS gets covered up by the tide in EVERY serial where it lands on the coast.
Was...was that COLOR footage of the stableboy getting on the horse?!
Oh. Hello, unexpectedly-shirtless!Ben.
So I wonder if we've reached that point in the series where the only surviving footage is stuff other countries cut out for censorship.
Are they...carrying the Doctor off? That's a new one on me. Also, FOOTAGE! (and it's not exactly color, but it looks close)
So I'm assuming the Squire is the one with the seriously epic period wig.
And now Ben and Polly are being arrested for murder with barely any evidence. 17th Century Cornwall: Guilty until proven innocent, I guess.
Huh. Polly seems to be taking the whole situation in relative stride. Ben, not so much.
On the other hand, Polly seems to've inherited Susan's fear of jail-based rodent-life.
"What'd they think it was, magic?"
"Ben, that's it! In the 17th century they were terribly superstitious. They still believed in witches!"
Ah, of course: despite the fact that he's being held captive by...you know...pirates...One still insists on talking like gentlemen.
And the one black guy aboard the ship is named "Jamaica"? #60sracefail
Looks like the jailer might be falling for the witchcraft ploy after all.
I'm sorry that they have to torture this poor stableboy like that to get out, but it's actually kinda funny.
"Oh, and Polly...take care, love." Say, was that the sound of Ben blowing her a kiss I just heard?
So I wonder if Captain Pike and Captain Hook had any relation in the inspiration department here...
Wow. This is an interesting twist. Usually it's the TARDIS crew who stumbles on the scene of the crime and gets the blame.
Also, Wikipedia tells me that the stuff I thought was color footage from earlier WAS in fact color footage made by the recon team.
This episode is starting to remind me of The Massacre: too much focus on the locals talking that results in a tricky-to-follow plot.
Jeez, is NOBODY on Team TARDIS's side in this serial?
I think this is the first time I've seen regular playing cards used as tarot cards. And what's to bet the Doctor is the Jack of Diamonds?
Also, I don't think I've seen him chuckle at someone getting hurt since The Romans (although HE was doing the ass-kicking then).
A coffin filled with brandy and tobacco? Sounds like someone's gonna be happy in the afterlife...(except these guys are happy right now)
Oh. I guess Blake is on their side after all. 'Bout time.
One's back! Reunion time!
That was about...2 seconds of footage. I wonder if it was cut out because Jamaica what was your face even.
Okay, I can see why THAT was cut out: killing a guy with a pike that happens to be your replacement hand and wiping the blood off...egh...
Ah I remember this scene from a @TerribleZodin article: They can get to the TARDIS but One won't leave because he wants to save the village.
Ooo yay! Team TARDIS is going on a treasure hunt! A literal treasure hunt! (weird, I don't usually call them Team TARDIS...)
Polly seems to be having a good time making fun of the names of dead people. I shouldn't find this funny, but I kinda do.
So One suspects that a fourth name is needed to find the treasure, but I wonder what prompted that and what he has in mind...
Personally, I'd thought that the three names would triangulate the position of the treasure, so maybe that's the fourth name.
Suddenly KNIFED SHOT SCREAMING OH LOOK FOOTAGE
Conclusion: Cherub has one of the most ironic names ever for he is, in fact, a gigantic douchebag.
Ah, so that explains the fourth name: Deadman.
At last reinforcements are on their way just as the pirates are about to potentially swarm the place.
"By the Black Albatross, you've met your doom now, my Cherub!" I sense approaching stabby-footage.
Swordfight! That we don't get to see!
THERE'S the stabby-footage.
So One just calmly watched a guy murder another guy and now he has to contend with an angry pirate captain. Jack of Diamonds?
Oh crap. I just realized: Pike and One have a peaceful deal now, but when the militia shows up...(maybe they'll just come too late)
"Polly, put the kettle on." I SHOULD KNOW WHAT THIS IS FROM.
("Shots can heard coming from outside.") I'm sure they can heard, guys, I'm sure they can.
I should've known this wasn't going to end peacefully at all. That would've been too anti-climactic.
Sailor vs. Pirate! How amusingly appropriate.
But you know what else? #NINJAS
(Just for the record, I'm quite firmly on the Ninja side of the Ninjas vs. Pirates debate.)
The treasure's uncovered, the pirates are defeated, and Captain Pike is dead. Time for our heroes to make their retreat.
Footage! And the TARDIS takes off...
"Just look up at that scanner. We have arrived at the coldest place in the world!" You'll still have to specify the world in question.
But more importantly..."Next: The Tenth Planet." You all know what that means: Mondas, Cybermen, and PAAAAAAAAAAAAT.
Next: The Tenth Planet