The Dud Life
Title: The Dud Life (On Mars)
Summary: Sam and Gene decide to give up the City and go all self-sufficient in suburban Hyde. They end up living next door to the Superintendent and his snobby wife (with a little help from Episode Seven).
Rating: PG
Setting: Sometime after Series One when Sam and Gene get bored of city life.
Word Count: 311 (it's short!)
Disclaimer: All belong to the BBC and Kudos
I posted a thing yesterday about crossing LoM with '70's sitcoms.
What happens when you cross LoM with '70' sitcoms?
A few people said they wanted a fic of The Dud Life (LoM crossed with The Good Life) so I've had a go!
Gene pinned Sam down in the pig-pen, and pushed his face into the slurry.
"Now you understand how we need to stick together!"
"But Guv - I only suggested that we try using some fertilizer!"
"We are going to use the old tried and trusted crop rotation method - you got that!"
"Farming a la Gene Hunt?"
Gene looked up to see their neighbour Frank Rathbone leaning over the fence.
"Superintendent!"
"Don't mind me!"
Gene released Sam's arm and both of them got to their feet. Gene turned to Sam,
"Hop it Gladys - go and milk the goat or I'll stamp on your weaving loom."
"Guv, I've told you before - you've really got to stop drinking that homebrew - it's making you far too aggressive!"
Sam walked off. His newly knitted home made sweater was now covered in slurry and his wellies were caked in mud. This self sufficiency lark was a hard! He just wanted to go home.
"About this fleas business."
"We're just collating statements. How's Mrs. Rathbone?"
"Still itching I'm afraid. I expect honesty and transparency in all testimonies. If you and Tyler are innocent you have nothing to fear about the events of last night. However if there's so much of a sniff of bad behaviour - I'll have your farm disbanded and discarded so fast you'll think your arses were lightening! What's that noise?"
"Sounds like a vehicle reversing."
Gene ran off to the front of the house only to find that the dumper truck just driving off had deposited a large mound of compost on the driveway. Sam appeared with his sleeves rolled up and his apron on as he'd been in the middle of milking the goat.
"Guv I warned you we were expecting a delivery from the compost people today!"
"What the hell are we going to do with a huge mound of earth in our driveway?"
"Well we could always try one of my new fangled ideas."
"Oh yeah? Which one Einstein?"
"Uphill gardening!"
The End
Apologies for the really, really, really poor joke at the end!
Orginally posted in lifein1973 The Dud Life
Summary: Sam and Gene decide to give up the City and go all self-sufficient in suburban Hyde. They end up living next door to the Superintendent and his snobby wife (with a little help from Episode Seven).
Rating: PG
Setting: Sometime after Series One when Sam and Gene get bored of city life.
Word Count: 311 (it's short!)
Disclaimer: All belong to the BBC and Kudos
I posted a thing yesterday about crossing LoM with '70's sitcoms.
What happens when you cross LoM with '70' sitcoms?
A few people said they wanted a fic of The Dud Life (LoM crossed with The Good Life) so I've had a go!
Gene pinned Sam down in the pig-pen, and pushed his face into the slurry.
"Now you understand how we need to stick together!"
"But Guv - I only suggested that we try using some fertilizer!"
"We are going to use the old tried and trusted crop rotation method - you got that!"
"Farming a la Gene Hunt?"
Gene looked up to see their neighbour Frank Rathbone leaning over the fence.
"Superintendent!"
"Don't mind me!"
Gene released Sam's arm and both of them got to their feet. Gene turned to Sam,
"Hop it Gladys - go and milk the goat or I'll stamp on your weaving loom."
"Guv, I've told you before - you've really got to stop drinking that homebrew - it's making you far too aggressive!"
Sam walked off. His newly knitted home made sweater was now covered in slurry and his wellies were caked in mud. This self sufficiency lark was a hard! He just wanted to go home.
"About this fleas business."
"We're just collating statements. How's Mrs. Rathbone?"
"Still itching I'm afraid. I expect honesty and transparency in all testimonies. If you and Tyler are innocent you have nothing to fear about the events of last night. However if there's so much of a sniff of bad behaviour - I'll have your farm disbanded and discarded so fast you'll think your arses were lightening! What's that noise?"
"Sounds like a vehicle reversing."
Gene ran off to the front of the house only to find that the dumper truck just driving off had deposited a large mound of compost on the driveway. Sam appeared with his sleeves rolled up and his apron on as he'd been in the middle of milking the goat.
"Guv I warned you we were expecting a delivery from the compost people today!"
"What the hell are we going to do with a huge mound of earth in our driveway?"
"Well we could always try one of my new fangled ideas."
"Oh yeah? Which one Einstein?"
"Uphill gardening!"
The End
Apologies for the really, really, really poor joke at the end!
Orginally posted in lifein1973 The Dud Life