son of the son of the son of ficlets
More ficlets to help Haiti! This is the Matt and Anoop batch, which is mostly Manoop but there's also a Meganoop and a bit of Matt and Adam tucked away in there. You know, in pretty much every other fandom I truly loathe mashing up names, but in AI RPF I delight in it. IDEK. You have to respect a fandom with the legit mashup "Allioop". Not that I know anyone who's written Allioop. But they could, which is my point. (If you're linked to this post directly and want to see it with the cut tags intact, click here.)
Disclaimer: No disrespect intended to any of the persons depicted herein, who I hope are all living happy and fulfilled lives with their partner(s) of choice. This is purely fictional, and not in any way intended as an accurate representation of reality.
Matt/Anoop. 1950 words. NC-17. For: kkbebe824.
Great Day
Prompt: First time Manoop angry sex with a lot of banter.
It wasn't a great day.
Matt actually said those exact words to Megan on their way back, and Anoop just rolled his eyes and stormed onto the boys' bus before either one of them could say a word to him. It wasn't a great day. Like it was just one of those things and Matt had nothing to do with it. Like he hadn't been the one to make it not a great day because he thought he was way funnier than he actually was.
He wasn't funny at all.
"Anoop?"
He thought about not answering, but that would just be childish and Anoop was not the childish one. Not that he really felt the need to be the bigger person here, but the bus just wasn't that big and when Matt caught up with him then Anoop would have to explain himself which he didn't want to have to do either. If only he had his iPod on him so he could stick the headphones in and pretend he hadn't heard, but he wasn't that lucky.
It wasn't a great day did not even begin to cover it.
"I'm in the back," he said, hardly raising his voice. If Matt didn't hear, well, that was his problem. He didn't owe him anything more than acknowledgement, and even that was given grudgingly.
"So you really did sneak onto the bus when no one was looking."
"Sneaky like an elephant," he said, rolling his eyes again. It just felt so satisfying. "I wasn't exactly hiding. What do you want?"
"I want to know what's going on with you," said Matt. "If you were a girl, I'd think it was your time of the month or something."
"Dare you to say that in front of Megan," said Anoop. "Seriously man, don't you have anything better to do than harass me today? You haven't gotten enough already?"
"Come on, Anoopsypoo," said Matt, "we were just goofing around. Now shove over and let's cuddle it out."
"No, you were just goofing around," said Anoop, because the guy just couldn't let it go. First it was calling him pet names, then it was slapping his ass, then it was being all over him while they were trying to shop during an afternoon off. "Can't you just fuck off for a little while? Seriously?"
"You're telling me you've been to college and your friends never pulled anything like that with you? Come on."
"That's different," said Anoop. "They're not you and you're not them."
"What, I'm not your friend now?"
"That's not what I said."
"Or is it because they're your real friends and I'm a temporary replacement, good for one year only?"
Anoop knew damn well Matt was just pushing his buttons, but underneath that he could hear that tiny bit of hurt that Matt was unable to hide and realized that he meant it.
"You're so stupid," he muttered. "You're so blind."
"No, that's Scott," said Matt. "You need to quit mixing us up, or one day you're going to climb into the wrong bed."
And Anoop had just had enough.
"For fuck's sake, Matt," he snapped, "it's not funny because I want you to mean it."
If he'd been trying to come up with something to shut Matt up permanently, he would've had to try very hard to come up with something better than that.
"One of us needs to leave now," he said finally, "and it's not going to be me."
"No," said Matt, though he didn't add anything else for an uncomfortably long time. "You couldn't have said something maybe?"
"Are you kidding me?" said Anoop. "That's what you think a proper response to that is? 'I'm sorry I've been a complete dick but it's your fault for not telling me'?"
"That's not what I-" started Matt, then just stopped. "You just want to be pissed at me instead of actually working this out. It's like you want to feel bad."
"Yeah, maybe I do want to be pissed at you for a while!" said Anoop. "After everything I've put up with today, I've kind of earned it."
"Put up with because you didn't say anything."
"Stop trying to blame me for you being a dick," said Anoop.
"And stop trying to call me a dick for doing something that you would've been fine with from someone else," said Matt. "Maybe you're the one who's been blind."
"Can you just go?" said Anoop. He just needed to be alone for a little while, he needed Matt to get out of his face so he could just deal with this and move on and stop being pissed.
But Matt didn't go anywhere. He loomed over him and leaned in and then they were kissing. They were kissing and Anoop was so blindsided by that he didn't know what else to do but go with it.
"You wanted me to mean it," he said afterwards, still hovering close, "but it never occurred to you that I did."
"You still don't," said Anoop, but he didn't push him away, he just curled a hand in Matt's shirt and gripped it too tight. "You're fucking with me."
"Pretty far to go for a joke," he said and kissed him again, and Anoop yanked on his shirt this time, heard a button pop and heard Matt make some kind of rough sound in the back of his throat.
"How far are you willing to go?" said Anoop when Matt pulled back this time, shirt askew and hair disheveled, both from Anoop's hands. Any moment now Matt was going to back off, any moment now he was going to laugh and blow the whole thing off.
But he didn't.
"Bunk sex is off limits," was all he said, and kissed him yet again.
At this rate, though, they weren't going to get to the bunks anyway, they were going to do it right out here in the open praying that no one else got on the bus, that everyone else was still off where they were supposed to be, enjoying the day or in the hotel or having coffee in the sunshine.
At this rate, if Matt kept kissing him like that, if Matt's hands started moving all over, Anoop wasn't even going to get his clothes off.
And he was kind of mad about that, too.
"We can't even do this right," he said, half shoving him away while he still could. "Even when you're not fucking with me, you're fucking with me."
"Come on, let's just do this," said Matt, pushing Anoop's shirt up. "We both want to do this. We don't have to be weird about it anymore."
"You can't just say you meant it and then have it all be okay," said Anoop. "We can't just do this. I'm still pissed at you."
"I'm okay with that," said Matt, pushing his shirt up a little more. "We can still do this."
And really, that was where Anoop's limit was. But not to end this whole thing. No. He just yanked his shirt off and grabbed hold of Matt's again to pull him back practically on top of him. Fuck it. If this was his shot then this was his shot and he was going to take it.
"That's more like it," said Matt, pulling his own shirt off then pushing Anoop down onto his back to kiss him more. And not an easy kiss, not soft and persuasive, this was hard and frantic and Anoop felt teeth. And he wanted the soft and wet and persuasive but not right now, not when all he could think about was ripping the rest of Matt's clothes off and pushing him down onto the floor.
Which he did, even though it meant that Matt knocked his head pretty hard and Anoop had to hold him down with a hand to his stomach while he ripped Matt's pants off. And his own.
If Matt wasn't serious about this, he'd better be ready to follow through now anyway or this was going to be fairly unforgivable.
But Matt didn't try to get away. He didn't even try to move. The only thing he tried to do was put his hand on his own dick, but Anoop had been thinking about this for too long to let him get away with that. He wasn't just going to watch. He wasn't just going to get a fleeting glimpse of something he'd only been allowed to see through layers of clothing before.
He grabbed Matt's wrist and held it away from his body and then just looked at it as he straddled Matt's legs. Looked at the way it curved, the way it bobbed, and thought about everything he wanted to do to it.
"This isn't just about you," said Matt after a moment, "no matter how much you've convinced yourself it is. I get to do you too."
"You'd better," was all Anoop said before letting go of Matt's wrist and gripping his cock instead, shutting Matt right up again. He didn't have boatloads of experience but he knew how to tug a cock the right way, whether it was his or someone else's.
"It's going to smell like sex in here," said Matt finally, between gasps as Anoop held him down and jerked him off.
"It's your own fault," said Anoop.
"Yeah, it is," said Matt, "because if it was up to you we'd never have-ah!-gotten anywhere. Come on, I can't reach you, let me do you too."
And as much as Anoop liked things the way they were, him on top, him in control and getting what he wanted, he had to admit it wasn't everything he wanted. So he swung himself off Matt's legs and didn't even let go of his cock as he moved up beside him, let Matt grope him and grab him and kiss him again.
Anoop needed to breathe, though, he needed to suck in heavy, harsh breaths as Matt was finally jerking him off, Matt's hands feeling as strong and as rough as he'd been expecting, and much more sure than the tentative touches he'd imagined. He was so focused on himself that it was a surprise when Matt came, the shock of wet and heat making him gasp and look, if not making him pull his hand away.
"Fuck, fuck," said Matt, dragging him close for another kiss, hard and dizzying. His hand had all but stilled, but a moment later he was moving it again and Anoop actually sank his teeth into Matt's shoulder as he came, not hard enough to draw blood but it was a close thing, leaving a fierce red mark in his skin.
"Shit," said Matt after a few moments of awkward silence.
"Oh, are you fucking kidding me?" said Anoop. "You regret this now?"
"Oh stop it," said Matt, "I don't regret anything. We just had sex on the bus. Someone's going to figure it out."
"Someone's going to figure out someone had sex on the bus," said Anoop, wiping his fingers on Matt's skin. "We need to clean up."
"Leave no trace," said Matt. "It could have been anyone."
"Could've been Gokey just jerking off," said Anoop.
"Well, there goes round two," said Matt. "I want to do it in a bed next time anyway. Come on, get up. If you're still pissed at me, we can be pissed somewhere else."
Anoop was still kind of pissed, in a vague way, but his brain was stuck on the idea of round two, of doing this again. Maybe more than once again.
It was kind of hard to be mad after that.
Matt/Anoop. 804 words. PG-13. For lovealwaysliana.
Three Days
Prompt: Coming up on the one year anniversary of dating thing Matt decides he wants to take Anoop out on a real date.
Matt didn't actually remember the date of the first time he and Anoop had hooked up. He could probably figure it out, because he remembered what city they were in and there were all kinds of places he could look for that kin of information, but it wasn't something he'd committed to memory or marked on the calendar or anything. Hell, at the time he wasn't even sure it would be anything more than that one moment between them, that one night.
He never really expected it to become what it's become.
If he was being honest, he'd actually expected Anoop to freak out after all, to act like whatever had happened between them was just one of those things that happened in the middle of the night that was never to be spoken of again. But it didn't go down that way. These days, sometimes Anoop was the even one who was more sure of what they were doing together.
Maybe it was ridiculous. Maybe it was inappropriate. But it had been a year since they got together, more or less, give or take a week or two, and Matt wanted to do something to remember that, because no matter how tenuous it had sometimes felt, it had definitely become something that was a huge part of his life. It meant something.
"Dinner?" said Anoop when Matt suggested it to him. "Sure, we can grab a bite."
"No," said Matt, though. "I'm inviting you out to dinner. Not a bite."
There was an silence for a moment, and Matt couldn't tell whether it was awkward or thoughtful. If not for the breathing, he might've wondered if Anoop was even there.
"So like a date, then," said Anoop finally. "Do I get a movie too?"
"I'm not joking!" said Matt. "If you don't want to go to dinner with me, you can just say no."
"Hey, when have I ever turned down dinner?" said Anoop. "I just want to know if there are more perks. A dark movie theatre might go a long way. Or we could take in a game, I'm sure we could get tickets for something, I'm not too picky."
"Dinner," said Matt again. "At a nice restaurant. One that requires jackets. Maybe even ties."
There was that silence again, somehow thicker this time, and what had started as something that Matt thought of as special was now beginning to feel like the moment everything was going to fall apart.
"No," said Anoop finally.
"Oh," said Matt. "Uh, okay."
"We can't come out," said Anoop, without that painful pause this time. "Not right now. I don't know when."
"No," said Matt. "That's not what I'm asking."
"We could go out for dinner," said Anoop, "and we could wear suits and pretend we're there on business and talk shop for a while. It would probably be a great meal, and you know how much I love great food. But we'd be miserable, because that's not us. We'd be going through the motions and counting the minutes till we could leave together and stop pretending."
"I want to take you on a date," said Matt. "All right? Does it have to be such a big deal?"
"Then take me somewhere fun," said Anoop, "not to some stuffy dinner where we'd have to be careful about everything we said and did. We get enough of that."
"Define fun," said Matt, "because if I just take you home with me, that's not really very special."
"Why does it need to be special?" said Anoop. "Why's this your new obsession?"
"Because it's our anniversary," said Matt. "Well, more or less. And maybe that doesn't really mean much, given our situation, but it means something. I mean, when else are we going to celebrate?"
"In three days."
"What?"
"Our anniversary is in three days," he said. And maybe Matt wasn't the kind of person who'd mark that kind of thing on a calendar, ever, but he should have known Anoop was. "And if you're hell-bent on celebrating in some kind of appropriate way, we can recreate that first night."
"Piano and all?" said Matt.
"The piano is essential," said Anoop. "The hotel is less so, though if you wanted to rent us a room I'm not going to object."
"You won't go to dinner with me, but you'll rent a hotel room with me?"
"It's just a matter of discretion," said Anoop. "There aren't going to be fifty other people in your hotel room at the same time. I hope. If there are, you should know right now that's not my scene."
"Just you and me, in three days," said Matt. "I'll bring the piano, you just bring your hands."
"Okay, now it's a date," said Anoop, and all things considered, Matt was pretty happy with that.
Matt/Anoop. 1049 words. NC-17. For lovealwaysliana. Contains: semi-public sex
Where There's Smoke
Prompt: Matt/Anoop, smoking fantasy.
It was the third time today alone, and they couldn't think that nobody was noticing. Or at least they couldn't think that Anoop wouldn't notice even if no one else did, not when he made a point of trying to catch up with Matt when they had some free time only to find Matt wasn't there.
Only to find Matt and Megan weren't there.
He ignored it for the first while, assuming he was overreacting. This thing with Matt hadn't been going on for very long, after all, and he didn't want to be weird or pushy or possessive. But really, enough was enough.
The next time they had a break Anoop didn't let Matt get out of his sight. He pretended he was going to do what he always did, have some water, maybe towel off his forehead a little since they'd been working on some choreography, but as soon as Matt was out of the room Anoop was following him down the hall and right up to the back doors.
Anoop waited a moment before following him through.
It was late and the sun was already setting and everything was in silhouette, including the figures at the bottom of the half flight of metal stairs down to the gravel. Anoop stood there silently for a moment, until he watched a curl of smoke drift up into the sky, calculated the space between them and realized that this wasn't at all what he thought it was.
His eyes began to adjust to the twilight so he could see Matt's features when he turned his head, finally noticing he and Megan weren't alone anymore.
No one said anything at all, not out loud anyway, but there was a lot being said all the same. Matt looked guilty. Anoop felt apologetic. Apologetic enough that he didn't focus on the smoke and the chemicals and the effect on their voices. And in that silence, Matt brought the cigarette up to his mouth again even though his eyes were locked on Anoop's.
After that, it was hard to focus on anything else.
"What?" said Matt afterwards, after pursing his lips and exhaling into the evening sky. "Are you going to yell at me now?
Anoop didn't answer, not because there wasn't an answer-no, he wasn't mad-but because he was still too busy watching, absorbing. Matt tilted his head to the side, uncertain, flicking the cigarette with his thumb so that the tip of ash drifted down to the cement. It was only when Megan pushed her hair back and brought her own cigarette to her lips that Anoop even looked away from Matt, and even then it wasn't for long. Her lips were perfect, wrapped around the cigarette, her cheeks just slightly hollowed as she inhaled, and Anoop licked his lips as he watched but as soon as she was done his gaze moved back to Matt.
Matt, who was looking less confused and uncertain now. He leaned in to whisper something in Megan's ear, then climbed the bottom two steps towards Anoop and brought the cigarette back up to his lips. There was no mistaking how deliberate it was this time, and if he did want the hit of nicotine, he also wanted Anoop to actually watch him this time.
Which he did. As if he had any choice in the matter.
The smoke drifted up, away from them, dissipating in the night air, and Matt snuffed the cigarette by dragging the end along the metal railing before tucking the remains in his pocket. For next time.
All Anoop could think about was leaning in and finding out what else those lips would wrap themselves around, but he couldn't, not with Megan there, and so he bit down hard on his lip again.
"I thought-"
"I know," said Matt. "I didn't think about that. I just figured you were going to yell at me."
"I should've noticed," said Anoop, and he really should have, the lingering smell unmistakable, but he'd been so worried about other things. "I should've noticed all along."
"You know, we have a few minutes left of our break...."
Anoop's eyes flicked down to Megan, who was still finishing her cigarette and very carefully not watching them. Oops.
"Maybe not right here," agreed Matt. "Maybe just inside that door."
A few minutes wouldn't get them far, but it would get them somewhere at least. As soon as they were inside Matt shoved him back against the door, so hard that Megan must've been able to hear it from outside, and began swiftly undoing his pants.
Anoop would have protested but there was no denying that this was exactly what he'd been thinking about this whole time-those lips, that mouth, his body-so he didn't protest at all. He didn't even make a sound as Matt dropped to his knees and swallowed him down, mouthing over his cock, tonguing it hard. Even with just a few minutes Matt was determined to get him there, and thank God for that because no way could Anoop make it back to rehearsal like this if Matt left him hanging.
He bit his lip so he couldn't make a sound, and the only reaction he was able to give was to slowly and helplessly bang the heel of his hand against the door behind him. Megan was a lovely woman and a good friend but there was no way they wouldn't be hearing about this later.
Anoop just didn't care.
Matt grabbed a handful of his ass and took him in deeper than he ever had before and Anoop sucked in abbreviated, loud breaths as Matt's mouth worked him, as his hands clutched him, as he clutched Matt's head in return and dragged his fingernails up the metal of the door. Matt brought him off in record time, and Anoop felt like his legs couldn't even hold him afterwards, that the door was the only thing holding him upright.
"We need to get back," Matt said, resting his forehead against Anoop's stomach as he tucked him away.
"But you-"
"Next time," said Matt, dragging himself to his feet again and murmuring in Anoop's ear. "Next time I get to see your lips wrapped around something. You're not the only one who likes to watch."
Megan/Anoop. 1012 words. PG-13. For lovealwaysliana.
Confession
Prompt: Megan/Anoop, Anoop confesses to his bout with depression on tour 'confession night'. Megan reacts.
Confession night seemed like a lot more fun when it was everyone else talking about their secrets. Anoop wasn't a gossip but he was a listener, he liked fading into the background and learning what people wanted you to know about themselves, and in the process learning some things they maybe didn't mean for you to know, too.
But that wasn't how this worked, and for once it was a group of people that Anoop felt safe talking to, didn't feel like they were going to take what he told them and use it against him one day. Even Danny, who Anoop felt like he'd seen at his most genuinely vulnerable tonight. Even Sarver, who meant well even if he put his foot in his mouth sometimes.
"Your turn," said Adam, turning his attention to Anoop even as he passed over the last of a bottle of wine. "Deepest darkest secret, go."
"I don't have any deep, dark secrets," said Anoop. It wasn't a lie. It might have been a deflection, but only because he didn't call his history anything that frivolous. If they wanted something called a 'deep, dark secret', he'd tell them about the time he and three other guys from his frat spent a week in women's underwear.
But they weren't really talking about deep, dark secrets here. They were talking about their hopes and their fears and their pasts, and those things they only talked about with a few other people, if anyone at all. Because maybe it was chance they'd all been thrown together like this, but because of it they all understood one another on this level that no one else really did. It was a level of intimacy that was fast and intense, but no less real.
"First year of college," he said finally, pouring the last of the wine into his glass because he wasn't going to be that guy who drank the dregs out of a bottle, "I was treated for depression. I don't really talk about it. It was a rough year."
"But you're good now, right?" said Sarver.
"Yeah, sure, " said Anoop. "I mean, it doesn't really work that way, it's a process, but sure."
There wasn't any more or less silence after his confession than anyone else's, and then things moved on and Matt said, "Who's turn is it now?" and that was it.
He stayed until they were done, though he went back to listening after that and no one pushed him for more. There were some things that evolved into full discussions and some things that just didn't. It wasn't that he was embarrassed or that he had regrets, it was just all he wanted to say, about it or anything else, at the moment.
He thought he was going to head straight back to his room from Adam's, brush his teeth and read another chapter of his book before getting some sleep, but it didn't work out that way.
"Hey," said Megan, catching up with him towards the end of the hall, right before he turned the corner into his own room. "Hey, wait up."
"It's late," he said. "I'm tired."
"I know," she said. "I just wanted to-"
"Really tired," he said, and hoped that she would understand that when he said that he meant 'I don't want to talk about it right now'.
Whether she did or she didn't, though, she didn't let it go there, and Anoop leaned back against the wall, tipping his head back to meet it as he waited her out.
"I just wanted you to know that I understand," she said. Anoop just nodded, because he'd heard that before. It was fine. "I mean it."
"Thanks," he said. "But really, it's...look, it's not that I don't talk about it because I don't want people to know, I just don't talk about it because no one ever really knows what to say."
"Okay, maybe you don't want someone to talk to," said Megan. "Maybe I do."
And that just reframed everything. "Oh," he said. "Well, do you want to come to my room, then? I don't have any wine, but we've both probably had enough of that already."
"More than enough," agreed Megan, "which probably wasn't helping anything tonight. You would not believe the number of bad decisions I've made after a bottle of wine."
"Are you going to tell me about some of them?" he said. "Or are we going somewhere else with this?"
"I don't know," said Megan as he let her inside, stumbling a little before finding a light to brighten the dark room. "I haven't thought about it in a long time. Maybe I don't really want to talk at all. Maybe I just want to be with someone who understands without talking."
And Anoop had to admit, that was definitely something he could relate to.
"Sometimes expectation is hard," she said, sitting down next to him at the end of the bed.
"I don't expect anything from you," said Anoop. "You don't ever have to smile if you don't want to. You don't have to entertain me."
"But I do want to," she said. "Now, anyway. But not always. It wasn't always like that. Before you knew me...."
"Before we knew each other a lot of things were different," he said. "That's what confession night is all about, right? Finding out who we were before we knew each other?" And with people you could trust, because he did trust them. They all trusted each other, even when they didn't like each other all the time.
It was Megan who started it, but it all happened so slowly. She put her hand on his arm. He put his hand on her leg. She turned towards him. He tilted her head up. And then they were kissing, soft and slow and light.
"I guess you were right," he said. "You didn't come here to talk after all."
"No," she said, "but you can say a lot of things without talking."
And she was right. They did.
Matt/Anoop. 1401 words. PG. For lovealwaysliana.
In The Cards
Prompt: Matt/Anoop, the boys see a Tarot card reader together.
"It's got to be better than the racing pigs," said Matt, like that was somehow a compelling argument.
"I don't know," said Anoop. "Racing pigs are a hard act to beat. Maybe if the fortune tellers did some mud wrestling or something, then that would be a good act for a fair."
"She's not a fortune teller, she's a Tarot reader," said Matt. "They're not quite the same thing."
"They're exactly the same thing," said Anoop. "One is merely part of a subset of the other. All fortune tellers aren't Tarot readers, but all Tarot readers are-"
"Really?" said Matt. "You're going to give me a linguistics lesson?"
"It's not linguistics," said Anoop, "and it's probably more interesting than getting our fortunes told by someone with a little tent at a summer fair."
"Think of it as a cultural experience," said Matt. "An expression of the society that birthed it. That's your thing, right?"
Anoop was kind of impressed that Matt knew it was his thing. Sure, they'd talked about what Anoop had studied, they'd talked about his academic interests, but it had never really come up in casual conversation before. Let alone been used as a persuasive device.
"A cultural experience," said Anoop. "So you're not paying her off to make sure she tells us something that'll get you laid?"
"That's a legitimate part of it," said Matt. "If there wasn't some chicanery going on, it wouldn't be an authentic experience. If you're looking for some genuine advice from the beyond, you'd probably go somewhere else to find it."
"So you are just trying to get laid," said Anoop. "You know you don't need to try that hard, right?"
"Stop sucking all the fun out of it," said Matt. "Besides, I already paid our money, so we have to do it."
"I still think I’m on to something with the mud wrestling," said Anoop. "They could try to predict the outcome before the match. It could be the hot new thing."
"It can be your moneymaker when your voice gives," said Matt, taking his wrist-not his hand, not in a public place like this-and ducking inside the tent.
"I was starting to think you were never going to get down to business," she said. "Come on then, sit down and let's get started. Anything I should know before we do?"
"Isn't the point of this that you don't know anything before we start?" said Anoop. "Isn't that cheating?"
"I'm not a television psychic, sweetheart," she said. "You don't have to tell me what question you want the cards to answer, but it might help to interpret what they're saying. If you just want me to put on a show, though, I can do that too. It's your money, after all."
Anoop kind of liked her.
"We just want to know what the future holds," said Matt. "Is that vague enough for you?"
"Is that specific enough for you?" she said. "The cards might be responding to me, but it's your question they're answering."
She didn't push them on that, though, taking them at their word and pulling out a deck from the selection she had beside her. Anoop kind of thought there would just be one, maybe something well worn and mystical-looking, but he guessed he didn't know a whole lot about how this worked, or maybe about how she worked.
"Am I doing both of you at the same time?"
Anoop tried not to snort while Matt answered. "Yeah," he said. "Yeah, we want to know for both of us." The 'together' was left implied and hanging in the air as she laid out some cards in an obvious pattern.
"Well, I don't think it's a stretch to suggest that what I'm seeing here applies to both of you," she said, "even though you haven't spelled it out for me." She turned over one more card, though, before elaborating. "You definitely haven't seen the last of your success, both personally and professionally. You've been worrying about that, on both counts, and I'm not saying you have nothing to worry about because I don't see a smooth straight line in front of you here, but you definitely aren't even close to the end of the road."
"I haven't been worrying," said Matt. Anoop just elbowed him.
"If you don't want to be honest with me, at least be honest with yourself," she said. "The cards don't lie, they just make us work for the truth sometimes. If you weren't worrying about those, then you've been worrying about something that overshadows both of those things, and since we've covered both career and relationship with that one it'd have to be something big. Someone dying big, and before you think I'm a horrible person for throwing that one out there, there's no sign of illness, injury or loss here."
"No one's dying," said Matt. "Okay, fine, you called it. But apparently I have nothing to worry about."
"That's not what she said," said Anoop, though, because he'd actually been listening to her. "What kinds of obstacles are we looking at, exactly?"
"The kind you'd expect, all things considered," she said. "You're both going to have to work hard. Professionally, anyway; personally, you know already exactly what kind of road you face. But if you face those roads and follow them, good things come at the end of them, and along the way, too. It's a journey you want to take. The music business isn't an easy one even when you have a pretty good head start. It's fickle, my friends."
"So you know who we are?" said Matt.
"I do own a television," she said, "and you're no Adam Lambert, but I watched the show. Shall I go on?"
"There's more?" said Matt.
"Just one more card," she said. "It doesn't feel finished yet."
Anoop didn't know quite what that meant, but they were getting what they paid for and he actually paid closer attention to the card as it was turned over, and to her reaction to it before she began to speak.
"You're thinking about another question now," she said, after a moment. "You came in here asking what the future held, but what you really want to know is what you should do."
"And is there an answer?"
"You know the answer," she said with a little smile, "you just want to hear it."
"And?" said Matt. "What is it, then?"
"The answer is yes," she said. "I could extrapolate and say that means 'yes, you should keep trying', but only you know what your question really is, and what that answer means to you. But you already knew what it was, and any doubts you had weren't coming from inside yourself but externally. Like I said, it's not an easy road, but it's a rewarding one."
Anoop was curious now, wondering just what exactly Matt had been thinking, and even if he didn't buy what she was saying, it was at least all sensible. Except for the yes, the yes was very specific and from his reaction Matt actually did have a question in mind. It looked like the answer made sense.
"Thank you," Matt said finally, and actually reached for Anoop's hand, the first actually sign of affection between them all day. And since they'd been out in public all day the only time they could do it was someplace like this, where there was no one else to see, but still. It meant something that it came now.
"It's what I do," she said as they got up from the chairs and made to leave. Matt slipped out first, satisfied with his answers, but Anoop lingered for a moment.
"Listen, you're not going to tell anyone that we're..." he said, but she was shaking her head before he even finished.
"Think of me like a priest," she said. "Bound by a confidentiality that means more to me than just mortal law."
It was actually reassuring, in its way. More than that, though, Anoop felt like she just didn't care who they were or that they were together, and that was even nicer.
"Thanks," he said. "For everything."
"Well, thanks for your contribution to my livelihood," she said, with a smile that suggested maybe she'd enjoyed this session a little too. "Y'all have a great afternoon."
He kind of felt like they already were.
Matt, Adam. 1013 words. PG-13. For lovealwaysliana.
Friendly Advice
Prompt: Matt is feeling sort of bored with his sex life with Anoop and he starts talking to Adam for a little advice.
It seems so easy in his head. Gay problems? Talk to Adam. Because that'll just be the easiest conversation in the world and Adam couldn't possibly have more important things to do than talk to Matt about sex. Part of him wishes he'd paid more attention during those late nights during the tour, when they'd all been talking about these kinds of things and Adam had finally gotten comfortable enough with them to contribute his own sexual conquests to the conversations.
Now that Matt needs that knowledge of sexual practices that goes beyond the straightforward stuff that everyone could figure out with two hands and a willing body, he can't remember a damn thing.
"Hey," he says into Adam's voicemail, because when he tried to write a text it just came out all wrong. He's not sure why he thought talking would be better. "It's Matt. Just calling to catch up, give me a call when you can."
It's totally a lie, and what's more, it's probably obviously a total lie. But maybe the fact that it's completely obvious is what compels Adam to give him a call back that same night, and say he doesn't have time to talk but could they get together for lunch the next day?
Matt agrees, of course, and only thinks afterwards that he's just committed to having this conversation face to face and that's one of the stupider things he's done in pursuit of this relationship thing of his. But he doesn't cancel. If he's going to do this then he needs to actually do this and not be scared away by a little sex talk.
"Try the chicken," says Adam, sunglasses in place and shooting a smile at someone across the room from them. They're in a secluded corner, a private corner, but they're still visible even if they aren't audible. There was no getting around that. "And then you can tell me what's on your mind."
"And then I can try to tell you what's on my mind, you mean," mutters Matt, but he does it out loud because once Adam hears it he can't take it back and that's a start, anyway. "Sure, chicken's good. I'm not picky."
"You never were," says Adam, "and you know well enough to trust my judgment."
"Well, that's pretty much why we're here, isn't it?" says Matt, and drains half his water before they even order. His mouth still feels kind of dry.
"Is it?" says Adam. "I wasn't sure."
Matt smiles a little at his water glass because he knows Adam's lying about that, but it's a kind lie. A lie that opens up the conversation for Matt to actually talk to him. "Well," he says finally, "the first thing you need to know is that I've been sleeping with Anoop since the summer tour."
Apparently Adam didn't know that, which is both a surprise and a relief. A surprise because there were times Matt thought they had to be obvious, especially to someone like Adam who knows what to look for, and a relief because apparently they weren't.
"Wow," he says after his mouth opens and closes on a couple of false starts. "Okay then."
"Right," says Matt, and lets out a breath. "So it's been a while."
"It has," agrees Adam. "Congratulations. I'm guessing you don't tell a whole lot of people about that, or I am really out of the loop here."
"Yeah, pretty much no one," says Matt, "except for you. But just telling you isn't what I wanted you for today. Well, it's not all I wanted you for."
"You also wanted me to pick up the check for lunch?" says Adam with a disarming smile. And okay, Matt actually isn't going to object if he does, but no, that's not the point either.
"I should've sent an email," mutters Matt. "This would be so much easier over email."
"Just because something's easier, doesn't make it better," says Adam. "Let me buy you a drink. We obviously need drinks for this. Lunch-type drinks."
"I'm here to ask for advice, all right?" says Matt, before he can talk himself out of it.
"Relationship advice?" says Adam. "It sounds like you've got almost as much experience with that as I do."
"Not relationship advice, sex advice," says Matt. "I need sex advice."
"Matt," says Adam, then pauses and flags down a waiter to get them the promised drinks. "That's what the internet was invented for. You don't need me."
"Okay, I'll be a little clearer," says Matt. "I need good advice. All right?" Adam is definitely smirking. He's smirking about this. "You're laughing at me."
"I'm really not," says Adam. "I'm still not sure what you want from me, though."
"I don't need an instruction manual," says Matt. "I just want some...new ideas. And since I've met you, I know you've got some. I wish I'd been taking notes way back when, then I wouldn't have had to call, email or meet you for lunch."
"But this way I get to see you," says Adam, "so there's an upside. Just to be sure I'm completely clear on this, because you've kind of hit me with a lot today, you've been sleeping with Anoop long enough that you've tried everything obvious and now you want something new?"
"Something like that," says Matt. Okay, not everything obvious, but they're just taking their time in some areas. He just needs new ideas. For other stuff. And Adam is just that perfect combination of friend, trustworthy, and experienced to give him some.
"You know, now that I know the deal, how about I do send you an email?" says Adam.
"Oh, thank God," says Matt, letting out a loud, relieved breath. "Yes. Yes. Thank you."
And as he does, their drinks are delivered to the table and Adam immediately raises his in a toast.
"And now we can relax and catch up and enjoy the rest of our lunch," he says. "To you and Anoop and a happy ending."
"Yeah," says Matt, "yeah, I'll drink to that."
Disclaimer: No disrespect intended to any of the persons depicted herein, who I hope are all living happy and fulfilled lives with their partner(s) of choice. This is purely fictional, and not in any way intended as an accurate representation of reality.
Matt/Anoop. 1950 words. NC-17. For: kkbebe824.
Great Day
Prompt: First time Manoop angry sex with a lot of banter.
It wasn't a great day.
Matt actually said those exact words to Megan on their way back, and Anoop just rolled his eyes and stormed onto the boys' bus before either one of them could say a word to him. It wasn't a great day. Like it was just one of those things and Matt had nothing to do with it. Like he hadn't been the one to make it not a great day because he thought he was way funnier than he actually was.
He wasn't funny at all.
"Anoop?"
He thought about not answering, but that would just be childish and Anoop was not the childish one. Not that he really felt the need to be the bigger person here, but the bus just wasn't that big and when Matt caught up with him then Anoop would have to explain himself which he didn't want to have to do either. If only he had his iPod on him so he could stick the headphones in and pretend he hadn't heard, but he wasn't that lucky.
It wasn't a great day did not even begin to cover it.
"I'm in the back," he said, hardly raising his voice. If Matt didn't hear, well, that was his problem. He didn't owe him anything more than acknowledgement, and even that was given grudgingly.
"So you really did sneak onto the bus when no one was looking."
"Sneaky like an elephant," he said, rolling his eyes again. It just felt so satisfying. "I wasn't exactly hiding. What do you want?"
"I want to know what's going on with you," said Matt. "If you were a girl, I'd think it was your time of the month or something."
"Dare you to say that in front of Megan," said Anoop. "Seriously man, don't you have anything better to do than harass me today? You haven't gotten enough already?"
"Come on, Anoopsypoo," said Matt, "we were just goofing around. Now shove over and let's cuddle it out."
"No, you were just goofing around," said Anoop, because the guy just couldn't let it go. First it was calling him pet names, then it was slapping his ass, then it was being all over him while they were trying to shop during an afternoon off. "Can't you just fuck off for a little while? Seriously?"
"You're telling me you've been to college and your friends never pulled anything like that with you? Come on."
"That's different," said Anoop. "They're not you and you're not them."
"What, I'm not your friend now?"
"That's not what I said."
"Or is it because they're your real friends and I'm a temporary replacement, good for one year only?"
Anoop knew damn well Matt was just pushing his buttons, but underneath that he could hear that tiny bit of hurt that Matt was unable to hide and realized that he meant it.
"You're so stupid," he muttered. "You're so blind."
"No, that's Scott," said Matt. "You need to quit mixing us up, or one day you're going to climb into the wrong bed."
And Anoop had just had enough.
"For fuck's sake, Matt," he snapped, "it's not funny because I want you to mean it."
If he'd been trying to come up with something to shut Matt up permanently, he would've had to try very hard to come up with something better than that.
"One of us needs to leave now," he said finally, "and it's not going to be me."
"No," said Matt, though he didn't add anything else for an uncomfortably long time. "You couldn't have said something maybe?"
"Are you kidding me?" said Anoop. "That's what you think a proper response to that is? 'I'm sorry I've been a complete dick but it's your fault for not telling me'?"
"That's not what I-" started Matt, then just stopped. "You just want to be pissed at me instead of actually working this out. It's like you want to feel bad."
"Yeah, maybe I do want to be pissed at you for a while!" said Anoop. "After everything I've put up with today, I've kind of earned it."
"Put up with because you didn't say anything."
"Stop trying to blame me for you being a dick," said Anoop.
"And stop trying to call me a dick for doing something that you would've been fine with from someone else," said Matt. "Maybe you're the one who's been blind."
"Can you just go?" said Anoop. He just needed to be alone for a little while, he needed Matt to get out of his face so he could just deal with this and move on and stop being pissed.
But Matt didn't go anywhere. He loomed over him and leaned in and then they were kissing. They were kissing and Anoop was so blindsided by that he didn't know what else to do but go with it.
"You wanted me to mean it," he said afterwards, still hovering close, "but it never occurred to you that I did."
"You still don't," said Anoop, but he didn't push him away, he just curled a hand in Matt's shirt and gripped it too tight. "You're fucking with me."
"Pretty far to go for a joke," he said and kissed him again, and Anoop yanked on his shirt this time, heard a button pop and heard Matt make some kind of rough sound in the back of his throat.
"How far are you willing to go?" said Anoop when Matt pulled back this time, shirt askew and hair disheveled, both from Anoop's hands. Any moment now Matt was going to back off, any moment now he was going to laugh and blow the whole thing off.
But he didn't.
"Bunk sex is off limits," was all he said, and kissed him yet again.
At this rate, though, they weren't going to get to the bunks anyway, they were going to do it right out here in the open praying that no one else got on the bus, that everyone else was still off where they were supposed to be, enjoying the day or in the hotel or having coffee in the sunshine.
At this rate, if Matt kept kissing him like that, if Matt's hands started moving all over, Anoop wasn't even going to get his clothes off.
And he was kind of mad about that, too.
"We can't even do this right," he said, half shoving him away while he still could. "Even when you're not fucking with me, you're fucking with me."
"Come on, let's just do this," said Matt, pushing Anoop's shirt up. "We both want to do this. We don't have to be weird about it anymore."
"You can't just say you meant it and then have it all be okay," said Anoop. "We can't just do this. I'm still pissed at you."
"I'm okay with that," said Matt, pushing his shirt up a little more. "We can still do this."
And really, that was where Anoop's limit was. But not to end this whole thing. No. He just yanked his shirt off and grabbed hold of Matt's again to pull him back practically on top of him. Fuck it. If this was his shot then this was his shot and he was going to take it.
"That's more like it," said Matt, pulling his own shirt off then pushing Anoop down onto his back to kiss him more. And not an easy kiss, not soft and persuasive, this was hard and frantic and Anoop felt teeth. And he wanted the soft and wet and persuasive but not right now, not when all he could think about was ripping the rest of Matt's clothes off and pushing him down onto the floor.
Which he did, even though it meant that Matt knocked his head pretty hard and Anoop had to hold him down with a hand to his stomach while he ripped Matt's pants off. And his own.
If Matt wasn't serious about this, he'd better be ready to follow through now anyway or this was going to be fairly unforgivable.
But Matt didn't try to get away. He didn't even try to move. The only thing he tried to do was put his hand on his own dick, but Anoop had been thinking about this for too long to let him get away with that. He wasn't just going to watch. He wasn't just going to get a fleeting glimpse of something he'd only been allowed to see through layers of clothing before.
He grabbed Matt's wrist and held it away from his body and then just looked at it as he straddled Matt's legs. Looked at the way it curved, the way it bobbed, and thought about everything he wanted to do to it.
"This isn't just about you," said Matt after a moment, "no matter how much you've convinced yourself it is. I get to do you too."
"You'd better," was all Anoop said before letting go of Matt's wrist and gripping his cock instead, shutting Matt right up again. He didn't have boatloads of experience but he knew how to tug a cock the right way, whether it was his or someone else's.
"It's going to smell like sex in here," said Matt finally, between gasps as Anoop held him down and jerked him off.
"It's your own fault," said Anoop.
"Yeah, it is," said Matt, "because if it was up to you we'd never have-ah!-gotten anywhere. Come on, I can't reach you, let me do you too."
And as much as Anoop liked things the way they were, him on top, him in control and getting what he wanted, he had to admit it wasn't everything he wanted. So he swung himself off Matt's legs and didn't even let go of his cock as he moved up beside him, let Matt grope him and grab him and kiss him again.
Anoop needed to breathe, though, he needed to suck in heavy, harsh breaths as Matt was finally jerking him off, Matt's hands feeling as strong and as rough as he'd been expecting, and much more sure than the tentative touches he'd imagined. He was so focused on himself that it was a surprise when Matt came, the shock of wet and heat making him gasp and look, if not making him pull his hand away.
"Fuck, fuck," said Matt, dragging him close for another kiss, hard and dizzying. His hand had all but stilled, but a moment later he was moving it again and Anoop actually sank his teeth into Matt's shoulder as he came, not hard enough to draw blood but it was a close thing, leaving a fierce red mark in his skin.
"Shit," said Matt after a few moments of awkward silence.
"Oh, are you fucking kidding me?" said Anoop. "You regret this now?"
"Oh stop it," said Matt, "I don't regret anything. We just had sex on the bus. Someone's going to figure it out."
"Someone's going to figure out someone had sex on the bus," said Anoop, wiping his fingers on Matt's skin. "We need to clean up."
"Leave no trace," said Matt. "It could have been anyone."
"Could've been Gokey just jerking off," said Anoop.
"Well, there goes round two," said Matt. "I want to do it in a bed next time anyway. Come on, get up. If you're still pissed at me, we can be pissed somewhere else."
Anoop was still kind of pissed, in a vague way, but his brain was stuck on the idea of round two, of doing this again. Maybe more than once again.
It was kind of hard to be mad after that.
Matt/Anoop. 804 words. PG-13. For lovealwaysliana.
Three Days
Prompt: Coming up on the one year anniversary of dating thing Matt decides he wants to take Anoop out on a real date.
Matt didn't actually remember the date of the first time he and Anoop had hooked up. He could probably figure it out, because he remembered what city they were in and there were all kinds of places he could look for that kin of information, but it wasn't something he'd committed to memory or marked on the calendar or anything. Hell, at the time he wasn't even sure it would be anything more than that one moment between them, that one night.
He never really expected it to become what it's become.
If he was being honest, he'd actually expected Anoop to freak out after all, to act like whatever had happened between them was just one of those things that happened in the middle of the night that was never to be spoken of again. But it didn't go down that way. These days, sometimes Anoop was the even one who was more sure of what they were doing together.
Maybe it was ridiculous. Maybe it was inappropriate. But it had been a year since they got together, more or less, give or take a week or two, and Matt wanted to do something to remember that, because no matter how tenuous it had sometimes felt, it had definitely become something that was a huge part of his life. It meant something.
"Dinner?" said Anoop when Matt suggested it to him. "Sure, we can grab a bite."
"No," said Matt, though. "I'm inviting you out to dinner. Not a bite."
There was an silence for a moment, and Matt couldn't tell whether it was awkward or thoughtful. If not for the breathing, he might've wondered if Anoop was even there.
"So like a date, then," said Anoop finally. "Do I get a movie too?"
"I'm not joking!" said Matt. "If you don't want to go to dinner with me, you can just say no."
"Hey, when have I ever turned down dinner?" said Anoop. "I just want to know if there are more perks. A dark movie theatre might go a long way. Or we could take in a game, I'm sure we could get tickets for something, I'm not too picky."
"Dinner," said Matt again. "At a nice restaurant. One that requires jackets. Maybe even ties."
There was that silence again, somehow thicker this time, and what had started as something that Matt thought of as special was now beginning to feel like the moment everything was going to fall apart.
"No," said Anoop finally.
"Oh," said Matt. "Uh, okay."
"We can't come out," said Anoop, without that painful pause this time. "Not right now. I don't know when."
"No," said Matt. "That's not what I'm asking."
"We could go out for dinner," said Anoop, "and we could wear suits and pretend we're there on business and talk shop for a while. It would probably be a great meal, and you know how much I love great food. But we'd be miserable, because that's not us. We'd be going through the motions and counting the minutes till we could leave together and stop pretending."
"I want to take you on a date," said Matt. "All right? Does it have to be such a big deal?"
"Then take me somewhere fun," said Anoop, "not to some stuffy dinner where we'd have to be careful about everything we said and did. We get enough of that."
"Define fun," said Matt, "because if I just take you home with me, that's not really very special."
"Why does it need to be special?" said Anoop. "Why's this your new obsession?"
"Because it's our anniversary," said Matt. "Well, more or less. And maybe that doesn't really mean much, given our situation, but it means something. I mean, when else are we going to celebrate?"
"In three days."
"What?"
"Our anniversary is in three days," he said. And maybe Matt wasn't the kind of person who'd mark that kind of thing on a calendar, ever, but he should have known Anoop was. "And if you're hell-bent on celebrating in some kind of appropriate way, we can recreate that first night."
"Piano and all?" said Matt.
"The piano is essential," said Anoop. "The hotel is less so, though if you wanted to rent us a room I'm not going to object."
"You won't go to dinner with me, but you'll rent a hotel room with me?"
"It's just a matter of discretion," said Anoop. "There aren't going to be fifty other people in your hotel room at the same time. I hope. If there are, you should know right now that's not my scene."
"Just you and me, in three days," said Matt. "I'll bring the piano, you just bring your hands."
"Okay, now it's a date," said Anoop, and all things considered, Matt was pretty happy with that.
Matt/Anoop. 1049 words. NC-17. For lovealwaysliana. Contains: semi-public sex
Where There's Smoke
Prompt: Matt/Anoop, smoking fantasy.
It was the third time today alone, and they couldn't think that nobody was noticing. Or at least they couldn't think that Anoop wouldn't notice even if no one else did, not when he made a point of trying to catch up with Matt when they had some free time only to find Matt wasn't there.
Only to find Matt and Megan weren't there.
He ignored it for the first while, assuming he was overreacting. This thing with Matt hadn't been going on for very long, after all, and he didn't want to be weird or pushy or possessive. But really, enough was enough.
The next time they had a break Anoop didn't let Matt get out of his sight. He pretended he was going to do what he always did, have some water, maybe towel off his forehead a little since they'd been working on some choreography, but as soon as Matt was out of the room Anoop was following him down the hall and right up to the back doors.
Anoop waited a moment before following him through.
It was late and the sun was already setting and everything was in silhouette, including the figures at the bottom of the half flight of metal stairs down to the gravel. Anoop stood there silently for a moment, until he watched a curl of smoke drift up into the sky, calculated the space between them and realized that this wasn't at all what he thought it was.
His eyes began to adjust to the twilight so he could see Matt's features when he turned his head, finally noticing he and Megan weren't alone anymore.
No one said anything at all, not out loud anyway, but there was a lot being said all the same. Matt looked guilty. Anoop felt apologetic. Apologetic enough that he didn't focus on the smoke and the chemicals and the effect on their voices. And in that silence, Matt brought the cigarette up to his mouth again even though his eyes were locked on Anoop's.
After that, it was hard to focus on anything else.
"What?" said Matt afterwards, after pursing his lips and exhaling into the evening sky. "Are you going to yell at me now?
Anoop didn't answer, not because there wasn't an answer-no, he wasn't mad-but because he was still too busy watching, absorbing. Matt tilted his head to the side, uncertain, flicking the cigarette with his thumb so that the tip of ash drifted down to the cement. It was only when Megan pushed her hair back and brought her own cigarette to her lips that Anoop even looked away from Matt, and even then it wasn't for long. Her lips were perfect, wrapped around the cigarette, her cheeks just slightly hollowed as she inhaled, and Anoop licked his lips as he watched but as soon as she was done his gaze moved back to Matt.
Matt, who was looking less confused and uncertain now. He leaned in to whisper something in Megan's ear, then climbed the bottom two steps towards Anoop and brought the cigarette back up to his lips. There was no mistaking how deliberate it was this time, and if he did want the hit of nicotine, he also wanted Anoop to actually watch him this time.
Which he did. As if he had any choice in the matter.
The smoke drifted up, away from them, dissipating in the night air, and Matt snuffed the cigarette by dragging the end along the metal railing before tucking the remains in his pocket. For next time.
All Anoop could think about was leaning in and finding out what else those lips would wrap themselves around, but he couldn't, not with Megan there, and so he bit down hard on his lip again.
"I thought-"
"I know," said Matt. "I didn't think about that. I just figured you were going to yell at me."
"I should've noticed," said Anoop, and he really should have, the lingering smell unmistakable, but he'd been so worried about other things. "I should've noticed all along."
"You know, we have a few minutes left of our break...."
Anoop's eyes flicked down to Megan, who was still finishing her cigarette and very carefully not watching them. Oops.
"Maybe not right here," agreed Matt. "Maybe just inside that door."
A few minutes wouldn't get them far, but it would get them somewhere at least. As soon as they were inside Matt shoved him back against the door, so hard that Megan must've been able to hear it from outside, and began swiftly undoing his pants.
Anoop would have protested but there was no denying that this was exactly what he'd been thinking about this whole time-those lips, that mouth, his body-so he didn't protest at all. He didn't even make a sound as Matt dropped to his knees and swallowed him down, mouthing over his cock, tonguing it hard. Even with just a few minutes Matt was determined to get him there, and thank God for that because no way could Anoop make it back to rehearsal like this if Matt left him hanging.
He bit his lip so he couldn't make a sound, and the only reaction he was able to give was to slowly and helplessly bang the heel of his hand against the door behind him. Megan was a lovely woman and a good friend but there was no way they wouldn't be hearing about this later.
Anoop just didn't care.
Matt grabbed a handful of his ass and took him in deeper than he ever had before and Anoop sucked in abbreviated, loud breaths as Matt's mouth worked him, as his hands clutched him, as he clutched Matt's head in return and dragged his fingernails up the metal of the door. Matt brought him off in record time, and Anoop felt like his legs couldn't even hold him afterwards, that the door was the only thing holding him upright.
"We need to get back," Matt said, resting his forehead against Anoop's stomach as he tucked him away.
"But you-"
"Next time," said Matt, dragging himself to his feet again and murmuring in Anoop's ear. "Next time I get to see your lips wrapped around something. You're not the only one who likes to watch."
Megan/Anoop. 1012 words. PG-13. For lovealwaysliana.
Confession
Prompt: Megan/Anoop, Anoop confesses to his bout with depression on tour 'confession night'. Megan reacts.
Confession night seemed like a lot more fun when it was everyone else talking about their secrets. Anoop wasn't a gossip but he was a listener, he liked fading into the background and learning what people wanted you to know about themselves, and in the process learning some things they maybe didn't mean for you to know, too.
But that wasn't how this worked, and for once it was a group of people that Anoop felt safe talking to, didn't feel like they were going to take what he told them and use it against him one day. Even Danny, who Anoop felt like he'd seen at his most genuinely vulnerable tonight. Even Sarver, who meant well even if he put his foot in his mouth sometimes.
"Your turn," said Adam, turning his attention to Anoop even as he passed over the last of a bottle of wine. "Deepest darkest secret, go."
"I don't have any deep, dark secrets," said Anoop. It wasn't a lie. It might have been a deflection, but only because he didn't call his history anything that frivolous. If they wanted something called a 'deep, dark secret', he'd tell them about the time he and three other guys from his frat spent a week in women's underwear.
But they weren't really talking about deep, dark secrets here. They were talking about their hopes and their fears and their pasts, and those things they only talked about with a few other people, if anyone at all. Because maybe it was chance they'd all been thrown together like this, but because of it they all understood one another on this level that no one else really did. It was a level of intimacy that was fast and intense, but no less real.
"First year of college," he said finally, pouring the last of the wine into his glass because he wasn't going to be that guy who drank the dregs out of a bottle, "I was treated for depression. I don't really talk about it. It was a rough year."
"But you're good now, right?" said Sarver.
"Yeah, sure, " said Anoop. "I mean, it doesn't really work that way, it's a process, but sure."
There wasn't any more or less silence after his confession than anyone else's, and then things moved on and Matt said, "Who's turn is it now?" and that was it.
He stayed until they were done, though he went back to listening after that and no one pushed him for more. There were some things that evolved into full discussions and some things that just didn't. It wasn't that he was embarrassed or that he had regrets, it was just all he wanted to say, about it or anything else, at the moment.
He thought he was going to head straight back to his room from Adam's, brush his teeth and read another chapter of his book before getting some sleep, but it didn't work out that way.
"Hey," said Megan, catching up with him towards the end of the hall, right before he turned the corner into his own room. "Hey, wait up."
"It's late," he said. "I'm tired."
"I know," she said. "I just wanted to-"
"Really tired," he said, and hoped that she would understand that when he said that he meant 'I don't want to talk about it right now'.
Whether she did or she didn't, though, she didn't let it go there, and Anoop leaned back against the wall, tipping his head back to meet it as he waited her out.
"I just wanted you to know that I understand," she said. Anoop just nodded, because he'd heard that before. It was fine. "I mean it."
"Thanks," he said. "But really, it's...look, it's not that I don't talk about it because I don't want people to know, I just don't talk about it because no one ever really knows what to say."
"Okay, maybe you don't want someone to talk to," said Megan. "Maybe I do."
And that just reframed everything. "Oh," he said. "Well, do you want to come to my room, then? I don't have any wine, but we've both probably had enough of that already."
"More than enough," agreed Megan, "which probably wasn't helping anything tonight. You would not believe the number of bad decisions I've made after a bottle of wine."
"Are you going to tell me about some of them?" he said. "Or are we going somewhere else with this?"
"I don't know," said Megan as he let her inside, stumbling a little before finding a light to brighten the dark room. "I haven't thought about it in a long time. Maybe I don't really want to talk at all. Maybe I just want to be with someone who understands without talking."
And Anoop had to admit, that was definitely something he could relate to.
"Sometimes expectation is hard," she said, sitting down next to him at the end of the bed.
"I don't expect anything from you," said Anoop. "You don't ever have to smile if you don't want to. You don't have to entertain me."
"But I do want to," she said. "Now, anyway. But not always. It wasn't always like that. Before you knew me...."
"Before we knew each other a lot of things were different," he said. "That's what confession night is all about, right? Finding out who we were before we knew each other?" And with people you could trust, because he did trust them. They all trusted each other, even when they didn't like each other all the time.
It was Megan who started it, but it all happened so slowly. She put her hand on his arm. He put his hand on her leg. She turned towards him. He tilted her head up. And then they were kissing, soft and slow and light.
"I guess you were right," he said. "You didn't come here to talk after all."
"No," she said, "but you can say a lot of things without talking."
And she was right. They did.
Matt/Anoop. 1401 words. PG. For lovealwaysliana.
In The Cards
Prompt: Matt/Anoop, the boys see a Tarot card reader together.
"It's got to be better than the racing pigs," said Matt, like that was somehow a compelling argument.
"I don't know," said Anoop. "Racing pigs are a hard act to beat. Maybe if the fortune tellers did some mud wrestling or something, then that would be a good act for a fair."
"She's not a fortune teller, she's a Tarot reader," said Matt. "They're not quite the same thing."
"They're exactly the same thing," said Anoop. "One is merely part of a subset of the other. All fortune tellers aren't Tarot readers, but all Tarot readers are-"
"Really?" said Matt. "You're going to give me a linguistics lesson?"
"It's not linguistics," said Anoop, "and it's probably more interesting than getting our fortunes told by someone with a little tent at a summer fair."
"Think of it as a cultural experience," said Matt. "An expression of the society that birthed it. That's your thing, right?"
Anoop was kind of impressed that Matt knew it was his thing. Sure, they'd talked about what Anoop had studied, they'd talked about his academic interests, but it had never really come up in casual conversation before. Let alone been used as a persuasive device.
"A cultural experience," said Anoop. "So you're not paying her off to make sure she tells us something that'll get you laid?"
"That's a legitimate part of it," said Matt. "If there wasn't some chicanery going on, it wouldn't be an authentic experience. If you're looking for some genuine advice from the beyond, you'd probably go somewhere else to find it."
"So you are just trying to get laid," said Anoop. "You know you don't need to try that hard, right?"
"Stop sucking all the fun out of it," said Matt. "Besides, I already paid our money, so we have to do it."
"I still think I’m on to something with the mud wrestling," said Anoop. "They could try to predict the outcome before the match. It could be the hot new thing."
"It can be your moneymaker when your voice gives," said Matt, taking his wrist-not his hand, not in a public place like this-and ducking inside the tent.
"I was starting to think you were never going to get down to business," she said. "Come on then, sit down and let's get started. Anything I should know before we do?"
"Isn't the point of this that you don't know anything before we start?" said Anoop. "Isn't that cheating?"
"I'm not a television psychic, sweetheart," she said. "You don't have to tell me what question you want the cards to answer, but it might help to interpret what they're saying. If you just want me to put on a show, though, I can do that too. It's your money, after all."
Anoop kind of liked her.
"We just want to know what the future holds," said Matt. "Is that vague enough for you?"
"Is that specific enough for you?" she said. "The cards might be responding to me, but it's your question they're answering."
She didn't push them on that, though, taking them at their word and pulling out a deck from the selection she had beside her. Anoop kind of thought there would just be one, maybe something well worn and mystical-looking, but he guessed he didn't know a whole lot about how this worked, or maybe about how she worked.
"Am I doing both of you at the same time?"
Anoop tried not to snort while Matt answered. "Yeah," he said. "Yeah, we want to know for both of us." The 'together' was left implied and hanging in the air as she laid out some cards in an obvious pattern.
"Well, I don't think it's a stretch to suggest that what I'm seeing here applies to both of you," she said, "even though you haven't spelled it out for me." She turned over one more card, though, before elaborating. "You definitely haven't seen the last of your success, both personally and professionally. You've been worrying about that, on both counts, and I'm not saying you have nothing to worry about because I don't see a smooth straight line in front of you here, but you definitely aren't even close to the end of the road."
"I haven't been worrying," said Matt. Anoop just elbowed him.
"If you don't want to be honest with me, at least be honest with yourself," she said. "The cards don't lie, they just make us work for the truth sometimes. If you weren't worrying about those, then you've been worrying about something that overshadows both of those things, and since we've covered both career and relationship with that one it'd have to be something big. Someone dying big, and before you think I'm a horrible person for throwing that one out there, there's no sign of illness, injury or loss here."
"No one's dying," said Matt. "Okay, fine, you called it. But apparently I have nothing to worry about."
"That's not what she said," said Anoop, though, because he'd actually been listening to her. "What kinds of obstacles are we looking at, exactly?"
"The kind you'd expect, all things considered," she said. "You're both going to have to work hard. Professionally, anyway; personally, you know already exactly what kind of road you face. But if you face those roads and follow them, good things come at the end of them, and along the way, too. It's a journey you want to take. The music business isn't an easy one even when you have a pretty good head start. It's fickle, my friends."
"So you know who we are?" said Matt.
"I do own a television," she said, "and you're no Adam Lambert, but I watched the show. Shall I go on?"
"There's more?" said Matt.
"Just one more card," she said. "It doesn't feel finished yet."
Anoop didn't know quite what that meant, but they were getting what they paid for and he actually paid closer attention to the card as it was turned over, and to her reaction to it before she began to speak.
"You're thinking about another question now," she said, after a moment. "You came in here asking what the future held, but what you really want to know is what you should do."
"And is there an answer?"
"You know the answer," she said with a little smile, "you just want to hear it."
"And?" said Matt. "What is it, then?"
"The answer is yes," she said. "I could extrapolate and say that means 'yes, you should keep trying', but only you know what your question really is, and what that answer means to you. But you already knew what it was, and any doubts you had weren't coming from inside yourself but externally. Like I said, it's not an easy road, but it's a rewarding one."
Anoop was curious now, wondering just what exactly Matt had been thinking, and even if he didn't buy what she was saying, it was at least all sensible. Except for the yes, the yes was very specific and from his reaction Matt actually did have a question in mind. It looked like the answer made sense.
"Thank you," Matt said finally, and actually reached for Anoop's hand, the first actually sign of affection between them all day. And since they'd been out in public all day the only time they could do it was someplace like this, where there was no one else to see, but still. It meant something that it came now.
"It's what I do," she said as they got up from the chairs and made to leave. Matt slipped out first, satisfied with his answers, but Anoop lingered for a moment.
"Listen, you're not going to tell anyone that we're..." he said, but she was shaking her head before he even finished.
"Think of me like a priest," she said. "Bound by a confidentiality that means more to me than just mortal law."
It was actually reassuring, in its way. More than that, though, Anoop felt like she just didn't care who they were or that they were together, and that was even nicer.
"Thanks," he said. "For everything."
"Well, thanks for your contribution to my livelihood," she said, with a smile that suggested maybe she'd enjoyed this session a little too. "Y'all have a great afternoon."
He kind of felt like they already were.
Matt, Adam. 1013 words. PG-13. For lovealwaysliana.
Friendly Advice
Prompt: Matt is feeling sort of bored with his sex life with Anoop and he starts talking to Adam for a little advice.
It seems so easy in his head. Gay problems? Talk to Adam. Because that'll just be the easiest conversation in the world and Adam couldn't possibly have more important things to do than talk to Matt about sex. Part of him wishes he'd paid more attention during those late nights during the tour, when they'd all been talking about these kinds of things and Adam had finally gotten comfortable enough with them to contribute his own sexual conquests to the conversations.
Now that Matt needs that knowledge of sexual practices that goes beyond the straightforward stuff that everyone could figure out with two hands and a willing body, he can't remember a damn thing.
"Hey," he says into Adam's voicemail, because when he tried to write a text it just came out all wrong. He's not sure why he thought talking would be better. "It's Matt. Just calling to catch up, give me a call when you can."
It's totally a lie, and what's more, it's probably obviously a total lie. But maybe the fact that it's completely obvious is what compels Adam to give him a call back that same night, and say he doesn't have time to talk but could they get together for lunch the next day?
Matt agrees, of course, and only thinks afterwards that he's just committed to having this conversation face to face and that's one of the stupider things he's done in pursuit of this relationship thing of his. But he doesn't cancel. If he's going to do this then he needs to actually do this and not be scared away by a little sex talk.
"Try the chicken," says Adam, sunglasses in place and shooting a smile at someone across the room from them. They're in a secluded corner, a private corner, but they're still visible even if they aren't audible. There was no getting around that. "And then you can tell me what's on your mind."
"And then I can try to tell you what's on my mind, you mean," mutters Matt, but he does it out loud because once Adam hears it he can't take it back and that's a start, anyway. "Sure, chicken's good. I'm not picky."
"You never were," says Adam, "and you know well enough to trust my judgment."
"Well, that's pretty much why we're here, isn't it?" says Matt, and drains half his water before they even order. His mouth still feels kind of dry.
"Is it?" says Adam. "I wasn't sure."
Matt smiles a little at his water glass because he knows Adam's lying about that, but it's a kind lie. A lie that opens up the conversation for Matt to actually talk to him. "Well," he says finally, "the first thing you need to know is that I've been sleeping with Anoop since the summer tour."
Apparently Adam didn't know that, which is both a surprise and a relief. A surprise because there were times Matt thought they had to be obvious, especially to someone like Adam who knows what to look for, and a relief because apparently they weren't.
"Wow," he says after his mouth opens and closes on a couple of false starts. "Okay then."
"Right," says Matt, and lets out a breath. "So it's been a while."
"It has," agrees Adam. "Congratulations. I'm guessing you don't tell a whole lot of people about that, or I am really out of the loop here."
"Yeah, pretty much no one," says Matt, "except for you. But just telling you isn't what I wanted you for today. Well, it's not all I wanted you for."
"You also wanted me to pick up the check for lunch?" says Adam with a disarming smile. And okay, Matt actually isn't going to object if he does, but no, that's not the point either.
"I should've sent an email," mutters Matt. "This would be so much easier over email."
"Just because something's easier, doesn't make it better," says Adam. "Let me buy you a drink. We obviously need drinks for this. Lunch-type drinks."
"I'm here to ask for advice, all right?" says Matt, before he can talk himself out of it.
"Relationship advice?" says Adam. "It sounds like you've got almost as much experience with that as I do."
"Not relationship advice, sex advice," says Matt. "I need sex advice."
"Matt," says Adam, then pauses and flags down a waiter to get them the promised drinks. "That's what the internet was invented for. You don't need me."
"Okay, I'll be a little clearer," says Matt. "I need good advice. All right?" Adam is definitely smirking. He's smirking about this. "You're laughing at me."
"I'm really not," says Adam. "I'm still not sure what you want from me, though."
"I don't need an instruction manual," says Matt. "I just want some...new ideas. And since I've met you, I know you've got some. I wish I'd been taking notes way back when, then I wouldn't have had to call, email or meet you for lunch."
"But this way I get to see you," says Adam, "so there's an upside. Just to be sure I'm completely clear on this, because you've kind of hit me with a lot today, you've been sleeping with Anoop long enough that you've tried everything obvious and now you want something new?"
"Something like that," says Matt. Okay, not everything obvious, but they're just taking their time in some areas. He just needs new ideas. For other stuff. And Adam is just that perfect combination of friend, trustworthy, and experienced to give him some.
"You know, now that I know the deal, how about I do send you an email?" says Adam.
"Oh, thank God," says Matt, letting out a loud, relieved breath. "Yes. Yes. Thank you."
And as he does, their drinks are delivered to the table and Adam immediately raises his in a toast.
"And now we can relax and catch up and enjoy the rest of our lunch," he says. "To you and Anoop and a happy ending."
"Yeah," says Matt, "yeah, I'll drink to that."