The Eonftft Awesomesauce Challenge 2.2
This update took forever, but it's probably the longest one I've ever written, so I guess that makes up for it. I started writing this the day after Christmas, and I'm just now finishing it. Oh well!
We begin this update with this great picture of Calling You attempting to find Narnia in the back of their fridge.
The toddlers sleep with their eyes open. I'm supposing it's because the corner of their eyes extend past the standard shape of the eyelids, but I'd like to think it's just because they're creepy black generation children.
Barkster: I have bought yesterday's news to the humans! It appears they have missed it. Surely they will thank me.
Ace: Yeah, that's great, Barkster. Hey, look, the government's infringing on our lives, right? Daily? Well between you and me and the folks on my conspiracy forums, I think there's going to be a revolution. I need you to learn how to hunt so I can sic you on some agents. I know they're coming. I know they are.
Meanwhile, instead of playing for tips in the park as he was instructed to do, Orange Skies expresses his inner manchild.
Calling You: Here you go.
Calling You thought it would be a ~good idea~ to take Friday all the way from her room to the outskirts of their lawn to feed her. Okay then.
Orange Skies: I can't go to bed, Sun Young is standing in my spot.
Sun Young: Please help me. I've been stuck here for an hour.
New bed, no problem.
Caleigh: I wanna be just like Barkster!
Barkster: You're okay, little one.
asdfghjkl;;;
Sun Young: Go away, Parade, you're not supposed to like me.
Parade watched his mother cook, and made me feel bad for having to destroy their relationship later in the game.
With his new hunting skills, Barkster digs the Eonftfts up a treasure: this empty bag of chips.
Orange Skies: You know, it's very rare that this family sits down and eats a meal together.
Ace: Stupid kid, stealing my line.
The Eonftft Stray Dog followed them to their new house, showing the type of dedication that makes this legacy possible.
Sun Young: Do you know my favorite type of cheese?
Parade: Bwuh?
Sun Young: NACHO CHEESE!
Parade: Lame.
Orange Skies: And then, while your mom was still on loan from China, we got married! It was so awesome, it was one of the best days of my life! I wore this bitchin' orange suit and everybody was crying and clapping because the service was so beautiful and my sister and old friends were there and it was just great oh my gosh.
Friday: Wedding?
Sun Young: How's my ballet, Parade?
Parade: Lame.
Caleigh: SO HUNGRY. EAT HOT DOG.
Calling You: ARE YOU OKAY LITTLE ONE IS EVERYTHING ALRIGHT
Friday: Gramma, I'm fine.
Calling You: ARE YOU SURE
Calling You had a handful of freak outs in a row while potty training Friday for some odd reason.
Ace: Saddle up, Ace!
Ace: neeeeeeighhhh
I've only seen insane sims act like dogs, but I guess they act like cats and horses too? That's fantastic! Also, better picture quality.
Finally--birthday time for Parade! To a reader, this is no big deal. To me, this is practically the fifth time that I've played through this hour of Parade growing up. I kept wanting to put these shorts on him and customize them, which would cause the game to freeze up and I'd lose all my save data. I finally figured it out after a few tries, and so, here we are.
Everybody's as excited as I am.
Unfortunately, they were facing the wrong direction, and Parade grew up behind them.
He takes after his father.
Parade Eonftft, everybody! He gained the Unlucky trait, which makes him an unlucky but friendly heavy sleeper. He's a bit of an awkward child, but I have hope for him.
Sun Young: You know, I don't really like computers that much.
Ace: GTFO.
Great.
Luckily, she only took the picture that hangs above Orange Skies and Sun Young's bed.
Parade: Please don't hurt me.
Ohhh, Parade. So close, yet so far away.
First day of school. I'm sure he's going to woo everybody with his awkward swag.
Half the house was stir crazy and the other half were the only ones who could make any money, so off to the park they went. Unfortunately, Ace and Orange Skies collected no tips, and Sun Young's paintings remain the only source of income in the household.
Parade: Yeah! Feeding the dogs is fun! Heh, heh.
Barkster: I find this bed to be much more suited to my needs than the cold, hard ground they make me sleep on.
Maid: Sure doesn't smell like roses in here.
The house was too filthy to live in, really. I had to get a maid.
Unfortunately, the agency sent the Eonftfts two maids. Which they clearly couldn't afford. Sigh.
Caleigh: ?
Caleigh grew up. I'm very excited to see what type of puppies she'll make with Barkster. The genetics for pets in The Sims 3 are just so interesting. And by interesting, I mean that it's crazy how traits just mash up against each other like that.
Orange Skies: So hungry, open fridge, nothing to eat. Rinse, repeat.
I know that feeling.
People cluttered on the sidewalk in various states of failure? Why, we know what that means!
NEW HOUSE! The old one was impossible and glitchy, I assume because of the amount of sims and clutter and general blahness. I do not claim to be an architect, and I also do not claim that the Eonftfts are rich, but I did the best with what they had. Bridgeport's lots are also way too small and not very good legacy material.
Anyway, so up on the third floor, we have a little haven for the grandparents. CC is at fault for the unsightly brown spots sticking out of the wall in the previous picture. A nice little bed & bath with barely anything else, thus forcing the grandparents to socialize.
Down one is the black generation's hideout, sparsely furnished but generousally lighted. I decorated this one last, so it basically amounts to Parade's room (one towards the front), a bathroom with a toilet, and Friday's room (the one with the colorful walls.)
The first floor is for the orange people. A refrigerator, a little living room set up, an artist's nook for Sun Youn, a bathroom, and Sun Young and Orange Skies's bedroom. Since this is the focus generation, they get the main floor.
Sun Young breaks in the house with some good old-fashioned Calling You glitching.
Digging holes is both an efficient way of taking care of that (extremely annoying, pesky) destruction need, and also being cute.
They couldn't afford their bills. Or their maid. Or living. So, Sun Young gets employed as an artist, since she's the only one with skills that can actually bring in money like that. Oh, if only it worked this way in real life, too.
She promptly gets to work. Sun Young > all the other sims in the house.
Meanwhile, Friday ages up near a puddle of her grandmother's urinary failure.
Friday: FML.
Bad upbringing = +Friendly trait. Maybe she's desperate for human contact.
Friday: This is how you smile, right?
Friday is constantly angry about everything. She's on the opposite end of the Black Gen scale--instead of being pathetic like Parade, she just hates everything. Anyway, She's an awkward child, also. I think her fat slider is maxed out (which can be fixed) and that's preventing us from actually seeing what she would look like at her best.
Pat got bigger, too. But Pat, unlike Buddy and Rags, which I loved to death, gets on my nerves. Also, since he's been with Friday since the beginning, I'm going to classify him as a family member. So, Friday hates him, too.
She seems like the girl who would have the type of imaginary friend she couldn't stand.
Tips! At last! Kudos to old dude and vampire dude, my new favorite not-mine sims.
Parade: But homework is hard. *wibble*
Sun Young: I deserve more respect, okay? I'm the only one with a job. I bring in all the money. And what do you guys do? You leave messes for the maid. You just drop your dirty dishes on the table to let them rot. I'm not saying I'm a golddigger, but when I married into this family, I thought things were going to be different.
Calling You: Sweetie, this is only the second generation. Come back in the fifth. We'll be rich then. Dead, but rich.
Parade: Here, doggie, have a treat. And please don't hurt me.
Caleigh: Socialization!
Parade: I hope I don't get beat up. Again.
Friday: So THIS is what school's about? Seriously?
Parade: I'm driving! It's something I'm good at! Please love me!
Orange Skies: This is one dubious contraption.
I've been lazy with the challenges for the orange gen. Luckily, I'm not the one who has to go to the gym to work on them.
Calling You: Doesn't it embarrass you to live like this?
Ace: No, not really.
When Skies returned home, he found that he had buffed up. Immensely.
Friday, with her time off from school, starts working on the make-everybody-in-your-family-hate-you part of the black generation. By the way, she rolled the LTW to have twenty friends during this whole escapade, so I granted it to her.
Friday: Why are you so dramatic? Not everything's about you, you know! I have feelings too!
Friday: You're pathetic. Like Parade.
Pat: Bitch, please.
Pat: YOU'RE the pathetic one like Parade. But worse because you're fat and ugly!
Friday: I'm rubber, you're glue. Whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you! *blows raspberry*
This painting was Brilliant and sold for $900. Um, okay.
Parade Heh, heh ... I like riding my bike.
Stay awkward, Parade. Stay awkward.
In a particularly derpy moment, I sent Parade to the graveyard to work on meeting some ghostie friends. However, it was daytime (hence the derp) so he got to tour the mausoleum and explore the tombs instead.
Unfortunately, he burnt himself to a crisp in the process. He did come out with a "soulpeace," and besides it claiming to heal curses, a quick Google search told me that it's useless, but rare. He could sell it for 1k, but that's against the orange gen's rules and since that's the dominant gen, that's how we're playing it right now. I could get it cut like a skull, but I'm lazy.
So, um, good job anyway, Parade.
Back at home, Friday spends her Saturday burning down her fat slider. Like everything else she's ever done ever, she's not happy about this.
But back at the graveyard, I discovered there was this delightful little bar underneath a building behind the mausoleum! And I freaked out. This is so cool omg.
Parade: That's a little scary...
Shush, Parade. Enjoy the black generation.
Friday gets sent down, too, and promptly begins judging what I'm going to call the Graveyard Bar.
Friday: This place looks like a war bunker. Not a graveyard bar.
The sink is perfectly fine for washing away after-workout stink, though, so Friday appreciates that. A little.
Friday: This water is cold as death.
While his kids are out fraternizing in bars in graveyards, Skies ages up.
Oh, Orange Skies Eonftft, that hair will never fit you.
Sun Young jumps on the birthday train, since she's the same age as Skies.
Yes, Sun Young, I'm sure the dresser cares a lot about you being an adult. Please don't turn around so I can get a better picture of you or anything, oh no, it's fine.
Skies gets a more adult-but-still-a-child-at-heart makeover. Age + muscles suit you well, boy.
Ace: I know they're looking at me, okay? I can't see them, but they can see me. I just wanted to take my garbage out in piece.
Ace: Damn your one-star celebrity level, Ace! Damn it!
And here we have Calling You, fixing the first meal in the Eonftft's new kitchen. She looks positively pleased and very much like the sweet old lady she really is.
Okay so this bathroom set came with this ladder, which you can apparently kick. So I had Parade test it out. And he kicked it through the wall.
I guess that's just part of being an unlucky sim.
After picking the ladder up through a wall, Parade becomes a sparkly werewolf. Which will surely be the next big teen fad.
JK, he was aging up. I'm so witty. He rolled Adventurous, making him an unlucky, adventurous, friendly heavy sleeper. Unlucky adventurer? Best trait combination ever.
Whoa, Parade cleaned up nicely. Those awkward looks of your childhood really wore off there, Parade. You're still awkward, but in a less "kid you pick last for gym" way and more in an "endearing Michael Cera-esque" way.
See? Look at this awkward, derpy way you eat your Mac 'n' Cheese, even accidentally leaving your elbow in the bowl. Tsk, tsk, tsk.
I sent Orange Skies to play for tips, but he decided getting down with this old lady who's ripping off Calling You's outfit was more important.
She tipped well, though, so it was all good.
Alas, funny-hatted social workers have returned again to reclaim an Eonftft pet, except this time, the Eonftfts volunteered Barkster. See, I've been having problems with the game glitching, and I've come to the conclusion that the reason was too many objects and people on too small of a lot. Bridgeport is fine for awesomesauces, since there's never really going to be a surplus of sims from one family. However, the pets were pushing it. So bye-bye Barkster, you will be missed.
Parade: You think you're cool but you're not! What's the matter with you?
Hey, he's supposed to have low relationships with his family. Don't look at me like that.
Also, Buddy called Orange Skies, which I thought was pretty cool. So I let them chat.
Orange Skies: I just don't know what to say to you, man, it's been so long. Yeah, Sun Young's still great, we've got two kids. No, no job. But I play me keyboard in the park or a bar all day for tips. I'm sort of a hippie.
Ace: What in the acutal fuck is wrong with this family.
Ace: I don't know, but it's your fault for marrying into it.
Ace: Oh, hush. You were there too. We made the decision together.
Caleigh had to go, too, but this social worker had no funny hat and therefore is not worthy of our time.
Oh, Parade. You weren't even close this time.
So, I went to go select Calling You for some reason or the other--probably to check up on her--and I saw that I couldn't. Because this was happening.
Calling You: Please let me stay! I'll be better!
Grim: Hmm...no. Sorry, but you have to come with me now.
And this was all that Calling You left in the sim!world. Just a little box containing all of her. Her memories, her joy, her dreams, her hope, her pixels, her relationships, her job history, her contributions to the world of science, on and on and on. I'm not going to lie--sim death doesn't normally upset me. But Calling You's actually sort of does. She was the first founder of a legacy I actually stuck with, put an effort in for, and that's unparalleled in the world of the Sims.
bbs :'(
(Parade rolled the wish to be a World-Renowned Surgeon during this whole ordeal, which I granted him. This means that both of the kids now have LTWs, which makes my life much, much easier.)
Ace had been off at an opportunity, since he's a second-star celebrity now, when Calling You died. When he returned home, he thought about her as he got into bed that night. It's okay, I've got something in my eye, that's all. It's allergy season.
Parade: You should use "The Day My Grandmother Died" as an essay topic. I heard Dad did it in school once, except with some old cat, and got a pretty good grade.
Friday: You're a jerk. Some of us have feelings, you know.
I wonder where the adults go on their free vacations? Maybe it's just all a hoax. It sounds like a hoax to me--free vacation for a few days? Yeah, right. I bet they're off being guinea pigs for some mad scientist's experiments.
Parade: I just wanted to skip school, go to the graveyard, and set a booby trap and there's not even anybody around to sit on it. I hate my life. I guess I'll just go to school now. Sigh.
After school, Parade found himself unlucky once more.
Parade: Ooh...ladybugs!
Parade: OH MY GOD WAIT I HATE BUGS
Parade: GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF IS IT OFF YET
And that's where I'll end this update, because LJ is telling me the update that I want to post is too large, even though I wanted to compeltely encompass everybody's childhood. So.
Next Time on the Eonftfts: Friday'll age up, there will be Prom, and maybe somebody will max a skill or make friends with a ghost.