BDSM and Non-Sexual Kink

[citrusjava]

This is for nagasasu 's promt, and is part of the December Days meme. If you feel like it, you can prompt me too, here. Images aren't mine - linking back to where they're from. [this is personal and intimate information. Read on only if you are comfortable being exposed to that, and if you appreciate and respect me sharing that, please

Comments

[joan_waterhouse]

I really hope it's not too creepy for me to comment on this, over a year after you posted it, and not being "friends with you on LJ" or anything. But what you write here resonates so much with me. Especially what you write about identifying as ace. The last couple of months I've been reading a lot about asexuality and I'm still not sure whether it would be OK for me to identify as ace, for the same reason you mentioned: I think I do experience sexual attraction (though there doesn't seem to be a definition everybody agrees on) but I don't want to have sex with people.

I just wanted to let you know that it's nice to read that there are people who are (were?) struggling with similar things. It makes me feel less weird and that's something I'm grateful for.

[citrusjava]

O, that is so cool! Thank you for writing!

Well, we should totally make up a name for this thing and\d just go ahead and be "those people". I consider it a sort of ace, at this point, and here are so so many sorts - why don't we get to have a sort name? I say we go for it .

[joan_waterhouse]

Haha. Yeah, we should. ;)

It's true there is a lot of variation. I've read a couple of posts on AVEN by people who are more comfortable with a desire based definition who have decided to go with that. So it appears there's some discussion happening about how the community defines itself. I'm just wary of imposing. As of right now grey-a seems to be a relatively safe label to adopt for me.

[citrusjava]

For the same reason I call myself a 'bad grey a' - I'd like a definition I' m welcome at.