carpal;

[citra]

i have been re-offered my unconditional place to read english in manchester. i was trying to demonstrate to tim how my future is like a spread hand, forked fingers, disparate choices, possibilities. (my hands are so small, ghostlike; bones + veins

Comments

[ansia]

i really fucking wish i could say something more constructive to say other than a slightly dazed "er, wow". because, er, there is so much to be said. i haven't any answers though and you've pretty much put your options up there for deliberation. i don't know which is the right one...

[ex_bloodoran618]

you can get caught up in the whole intellectual snobbery thing and all that nonsense. or you can bend it all to your will, use it to pursue your interests while getting something (a piece of paper, but still something) out of the whole exercise. i kind of think you don't know until you try, and just because one university wasn't right for you, doesn't mean another wouldn't be.

i'm dreading applying for jobs in case they want to know about A levels and things. but i figure i'll tell them that, because it took me longer to get here, it made me more determined, and i really think that's true.

when you end up where you need to be, you'll know.

Re:

[citra]

you've put my thoughts into words.. and english feels like something i can do without being so damn limited. maybe i'm wrong. but i feel like this opportunity wouldn't have just presented itself if i wasn't supposed to take it. stars align + collide. you totally get it, anne, and that scares me.

[ex_bloodoran618]

apologies for scaringness.

i kind of think that you have to consider whether you have more to lose by taking the opportunity, or by not taking it. some risks are worth taking. although only you can know. now i sound like a self-help book.

Re:

[citra]

the seven habits of highly neurotic twentysomethings.

ohhh yes.

besides, i usually am of the school of thought that All Risks are Worth Taking. when i told my friend david he said, whatever you do, don't do anything sensible. i totally agree with that.