Waiting
The lover’s fatal identity is precisely this: I am the one who waits.
- Roland Barthes
Saturday morning, Tim left.
On Sunday, Cissie woke up alone. She watched the sun filter through the window shades and wondered where Tim was waking up on his birthday. She stayed there until Grayson came and purred his demands for breakfast and attention, and then she got up. Kon came over later. They played Mario Kart and watched an entire season of Friends and ate pizza and the ice cream cake Cissie had ordered and forgotten to cancel. He stayed until she fell asleep on the couch, then carried her to bed and left her sleeping on top of the covers.
Monday, Cissie woke up alone and wondered why Tim was awake before her--and then she remembered, and she got up. She kept herself busy. She went shopping. She vacuumed, dusted, mopped. She unpacked the last of her boxes, and spent the afternoon at the archery range. She stayed there until she was exhausted, then came home and spent a few hours in the garden on the roof. Then she read until she fell asleep, reminding herself that it had only been three days. There was no reason to worry over three days. (Anything can happen in three days.)
Cissie watched the sunrise on Tuesday. Kon came over again, and they watched more Friends. While she was making dinner, she asked--casually--if he had heard from Tim at all. Kon looked at her from where he sat on the counter, and didn't answer immediately. When he said no, he added, "Tim can take care of himself. He'd call if he needed help." Cissie answered "I know" and continued chopping onions.
Wednesday, Cissie woke up alone. She got out of bed an hour after her alarm went off. She lost count of how often she checked her voicemail and her email. "No news is good news," Anita said, when she called her. (Unless it's bad news.) That night, Cissie heard noises upstairs. She went to look, but it wasn't Tim. Only Grayson, playing with some cat toys. Cissie sat in Tim's computer chair and looked at the pins in the map on the wall.
On Thursday, Cissie woke up on Tim's side of the bed. Alone. She checked to make sure her cell phone was still working, then burrowed back under the covers. Day six.
- Roland Barthes
Saturday morning, Tim left.
On Sunday, Cissie woke up alone. She watched the sun filter through the window shades and wondered where Tim was waking up on his birthday. She stayed there until Grayson came and purred his demands for breakfast and attention, and then she got up. Kon came over later. They played Mario Kart and watched an entire season of Friends and ate pizza and the ice cream cake Cissie had ordered and forgotten to cancel. He stayed until she fell asleep on the couch, then carried her to bed and left her sleeping on top of the covers.
Monday, Cissie woke up alone and wondered why Tim was awake before her--and then she remembered, and she got up. She kept herself busy. She went shopping. She vacuumed, dusted, mopped. She unpacked the last of her boxes, and spent the afternoon at the archery range. She stayed there until she was exhausted, then came home and spent a few hours in the garden on the roof. Then she read until she fell asleep, reminding herself that it had only been three days. There was no reason to worry over three days. (Anything can happen in three days.)
Cissie watched the sunrise on Tuesday. Kon came over again, and they watched more Friends. While she was making dinner, she asked--casually--if he had heard from Tim at all. Kon looked at her from where he sat on the counter, and didn't answer immediately. When he said no, he added, "Tim can take care of himself. He'd call if he needed help." Cissie answered "I know" and continued chopping onions.
Wednesday, Cissie woke up alone. She got out of bed an hour after her alarm went off. She lost count of how often she checked her voicemail and her email. "No news is good news," Anita said, when she called her. (Unless it's bad news.) That night, Cissie heard noises upstairs. She went to look, but it wasn't Tim. Only Grayson, playing with some cat toys. Cissie sat in Tim's computer chair and looked at the pins in the map on the wall.
On Thursday, Cissie woke up on Tim's side of the bed. Alone. She checked to make sure her cell phone was still working, then burrowed back under the covers. Day six.