Rapture Wanted Ads: AB Positive

[mmhsocommongood]

Citizens of Rapture!

I believe I speak for most of us when I say that the last couple of days have been quite the experienceOf course I have already fully recovered, as have a few others, yet many of you are still suffering and as always I would like to offer you my service in order to restore the healthy minds and bodies of Rapture's people

Comments

[greatchainmyass]

That's good that yer feelin' better I gue-- ... what's with the marks on your neck?

[mmhsocommongood]

Mosquitoes.

[greatchainmyass]

And what about them snake teeth y'ah got in your mouth?

[mmhsocommongood]

Dentures. They were cheaper because of the manufacturing error.

Now stop asking questions and let your wife kiss you. Gently. On the neck.

[friggincobra]

Hello. I very much like your teeth.

[mmhsocommongood]

Why, thank you and may I return the sentiment, Mrs...?

[friggincobra]

*fangy grin*

Corba. It's Russian.

[yesmisteralex]

Well, I have been rather blue lately, and there are times when life seems to have no meaning. Also there is no source of food in my tank, and I am very hungry.

[mmhsocommongood]

It is vital that I locate a patient's neck before I start therapy, however with you I find that quite difficult; as such I'm afraid I can't help you myself.

...however especially your last problem quite reminds me of my old friend, Mr. Alexander. Did you perhaps consider wooing one of your fellow citizens and offer sexual favours in exchange for regular meals?

[yesmisteralex]

It would be around my gills I think...

Are any of them also aquatic creatures?

[mmhsocommongood]

Aquatic creatures... aquatic screatures... no, I'm afraid the closest we come to that is Mr. Alexander himself.

[esquirethatis]

Just when I think you can't get scarier.

...what's wrong with your face?

[mmhsocommongood]

Come closer and I'll show you.

[esquirethatis]

.... n-no.

[mmhsocommongood]

Look, behind you! Two people carrying a giant cake!

[polarsoybeans]

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME, MY DEPRESSION, OR MY ANGER.
*finds a bucket to go throw up in*

Y-you....I think there's something wrong with you!

[mmhsocommongood]

You poor man, you must be bursting with blood. As a fellow doctor I'm sure you know that your pain and suffering is caused by germs, germs which are as a matter of fact not around you but in your blood.