Prancin' 'round like some crackpot. *COUGHSOFIALAMB*

[greatchainmyass]

Listen up Pal's.

Your resident "psychologist" who only got 'er position 'cause she knocked out all of the rest of 'em tossed me her glasses in a fit of RAGE and ANGER because she knew what I said 'bout her bein' a crook was true!

Ok, maybe not rage and maybe not anger but I swear there was some sort a gleam in her eye.

And don't worry I cleaned these

Comments

[hooched_up]

Those glasses really slim down your face an' bring out the color in your eyes, Mister Peachy. c:

[greatchainmyass]

Oh why thank you! I'd compliment you on something but I can't see anything out of these things.

Maybe if I just punch out the glass and wear the frames...

[hooched_up]

How many fingers am I holdin' up?

[holds up a picture of Fontaine]

[greatchainmyass]

I don't know if the blurry image of Fontaine's head counts as a finger...

[evesjasmine]

You have no breasts...
:/

[greatchainmyass]

Why sure I do.

They're cut up and put into jars and then I store them in my freezer.

Now do you have a problem?

[evesjasmine]

... S-sure...

oh god get away from me

Yes. I have a problem.
I think I'm gay.

[greatchainmyass]

Well go kiss a gal and if you get a tingle in the right place then you're slidin' on another side of the scale.

'Sides sexuality is fluid and blah blah blah so it changes over time blah blah blah.

[mmhsocommongood]

/staggers in
/walks alongside the wall hesitantly

Mister... I mean, Doctor Wilkins, how much wood should a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck was suffering from bulimia, caused directly by severe abandonment issues?

[greatchainmyass]

It's not a matter of how much should it chuck, it's a matter of how much it can chuck in it's current state of mind. You'd have to put that woodchuck on a program that would solve all the roots of the problems.

[mmhsocommongood]

NOW THAT IS JUST-
...exactly what it says in the book. Dammit

I hope you're happy now. In fact, congratulations, you were absolutely right. You can give me back my glasses now. So I can stop confusing people. Just before I thought I was talking to Julie Langford, yet when I put on my monocle to get at least a blurry view it turns out she was really Tenenbaum.

In fact without my glasses...

/looks around nervously, turns pale

Everyone could be Tenenbaum

[greatchainmyass]

Y'know I feel like keeping these things on, they DO fit my face.

Don't worry Ms. Lamb, I can help you out with that paranoia problem real quick like.

[treatalady]

You stole those glasses. You're nothing but a COMMON THIEF and should be hanged like the dog you are.

[greatchainmyass]

Hey I got these glasses fair which is more than what I could say for Fontaine's business.

And I'm not a dog... dogs don't wear glasses and pants. That'd be silly.

[treatalady]

Of course dogs do, you idiot, we dress Precious in glasses and trousers during the winter. Now quit your babbling and turn yourself in.

[greatchainmyass]

... WHAT KIND OF A MONSTER ARE YOU.

QUICK, SOMEONE GET A HAMMER!

Not even I, the great Peach Wilkins can save you!

[urmothergoose]

Why Peachy! You seem much more trustworthy than Fraulein Sofia could ever be!

When do we begin the therapy?

[greatchainmyass]

Really?

Well... now I guess.

[urmothergoose]

So...what do we do now?

[greatchainmyass]

... I don't know...