The hell?

[cinemagirl]

It's my day off and I'm at the movie theatre, getting ready to watch something that starts soon and looks good. I've got a medium Sprite and large doubly buttered popcorn and am consuming them while looking at the posters for the coming attractions. I'm reading the bottom of the Hellboy 2 poster when I notice a tiny box full of text. No, not the

Comments

[surrey_sucks]

What? You want to do drugs?!

[cinemagirl]

Probably not really--it's just the lure of the suddenly forbidden. That and well, my liver's already fucked and willing to take me down with it, so really, why the hell not?

It's kinda like how when I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis, a dietary no-no was popcorn. I worked in a movie theatre, a position that pretty much all but guarantees that you will get sick of popcorn. Since popcorn is Bad For Me, I can never get sick of it. (Unfortunately, never being sick of popcorn doesn't prevent one from getting sick from consuming too much popcorn.)

[lilmikeegee]

what they should really warn parents about:
it is a boy from hell!

hell!!!!!!!!!!
can you believe it is not nc-17 with a both that is from hell?!? and he procreates with a good christian woman?
wait!
they are not married! they should warn about that too!
and
and
there's a fish guy! he's not even human!!!
that is anti-american! he is a terrorist! from fishlandia! right next to uzbekistan! even!
and there is drinking and hellboy, the boy from hell, is UNDERAGE!!!!!!
gah!!

this film is worse than porn!

(god i love working in a theatre)

[cinemagirl]

Damn! I was gonna take my four year old cousin to see that! Forget it! I'll take her to see the Dark Knight instead!

[backwards7]

These small print warnings are one of the things that enrich the contemporary movie-going experience. Just by scanning through a list of films on the Odeon website I discovered that:

Make It Happen: Contains mild language and sexy dancing.

Man on Wire: Contains one scene of moderate sexualised nudity.

Space Chimps: Contains infrequent mild scary moments.

I’ve made up some of my own disclaimers. I think I might send them to the British Board of Film Classification:

Contains scenes of prolonged handholding which may be unsuitable for minors.

Contains images of peanut consumption which may be unsuitable for nut allergy sufferers.

[cinemagirl]

Do it! That way, when the time comes that we have to warn people about everything in a movie, you can look at the description that follows the rating and admire your writing. ;)

One of my favourite things to do after seeing a movie is read the synopsis at screenit.com, a website actually geared towards warning the parental moviegoer about everything possibly controversial in a movie. It's fun whether you've just seen the latest by Disney/Pixar or Judd Apatow.