A Kiss to build a Dream chapter 9
Chapter 9
Danneel was in her office working when he found her. Standing in the doorway looking at her, before she realized he was there, gave Jensen a chance to study her. She was beautiful, smart, and funny. She could have worked anywhere with her Harvard MBA, but she chose to run an animal shelter. He knew she would have been a good fit with his family. Moreover, had there been no Jared, he would have been crazy stupid in love with her. Unfortunately for her, there was a Jared and he had hurt her. Now he had to see if he could salvage their friendship.
“Hi Danni,” he greeted her cautiously, “How are you?”
“Jensen,” she answered in surprise. “I didn’t think I would be seeing you around here any time soon.”
He wasn’t surprised by the hurt he heard in her voice.
“You got a minute to talk?” He asked, walking into the room and sitting in the chair facing her.
“This about us or the shelter?” She asked tentatively.
“Us?”
“Oh hell, then why didn’t you bring me a beer? Somehow I think we’re going to need it, or something stronger,’’ she said only half joking.
“I’m sorry,” Jensen rushed, trying to get his words out before she shut him down. “I was trying to deny feelings I had for… someone else and you got caught in the crossfire.”
Cocking her head, she looked across her desk at him and fired off, “Why did you have to use me to figure it out. Was I supposed to make her jealous?”
“Jealous, no never that. It’s not a… That’s not what happened.”
Cutting him off, she jumped on his statement. “It’s not a what, Jensen?” Suddenly her face dropped.
“Oh. Oh my God. It’s Jared,” she exclaimed covering her mouth with her hands.
Well that answered his previous question; she hadn’t known.
“That’s why he was so cold and short with me.’’
“I just want to apologize; you must know it was never my intention to hurt you. I don’t want you to think it was,” Jensen stopped because that’s exactly what he had done. He’d used her to fight what was happening between him and Jared.
“Then what were you doing?" She asked as though she read his mind. “You flirted with me, you, you led me on and then when I gave in, you suddenly discovered you were gay?”
He understood her anger, he really did, but he still had to make her understand where his mind was. He had been head over heels for her; he really had, but then, Jared had happened.
How could he explain it to her without giving Jared away? Hell he’d had problems with it himself and had thought Jared to be a horrible person. He now knows it was desperation on Jared’s part. He had fought so hard against it, but now, now he was glad that he was wanted so much and Jared had forced the issue.
“Danni, there’s nothing I can say to excuse what I did, but please, just know that at one point I did want a relationship with you, sought it out.” Jensen tried to explain, “This thing with Jared? Well it kinda blindsided me like you wouldn’t believe and I didn’t handle it very well.”
Pinning him down with a glare she demanded, “When did you realize you were gay? Did you know before you started flirting with me? Before you slept with me?”
“That’s the thing Danneel. I’m not… I don’t like… I’m not attracted to other men. Just… Jared.” Jensen confessed. “This happened just recently, and it happened so damn fast, I’m only just beginning to process it, trying to make sense of it all.”
Gathering his thoughts to make her understand, he continued, “I know this doesn’t make sense, but it’s the truth. I never wanted to hurt you.”
“You love him, don’t you?"
“So goddamned much,” he admitted. “I haven’t even told him yet.”
“Well then tell him Jensen,” She encouraged as she reached across the desk to grab his hands and squeezed, “Tell. Him. If it were me I’d want to know.”
“Like I said, I’m just coming to terms with this myself. How to tell the rest of my family, my friends. I don’t know who’s going to stick around.”
“I’ll admit, I’m jealous as hell, but I’m still going to be your friend Jensen. You’ve got great friends and a wonderful family, so give them some credit. If they have a problem, then fuck ‘em!” Danneel spoke with a grin;, she didn’t look pleased but at least she wasn’t pissed.
“Thank you Danni for listening, and well for everything.”
He stood up and walked to the door to leave. He stopped and turned around, “How about we do lunch sometime? Can we do that?”
“Yes,” she agreed nodding her head. “Give me some time, but yeah, we can do that.”
~*~
When Jensen finally made it home, he was drained and he felt like he’d put in a full day’s work yet he still had to face Jared. That was going to be the hardest part, mainly because he wasn’t sure how the man would respond. Everything could still blow up in his face.
What if Jensen was reading into it wrong and Jared just wanted him for sex all along? Did Jared really love him? What if he was just being played so he would end up wanting Jared but getting nothing in return? And what about the interview message that was so easily not passed along? Was Jared trying to sabotage him?
Trying to ease his mind, Jensen went to the den with Sadie and Harley; they would provide adequate distraction until Jared came home. He cuddled with them on the sofa even though they were being taught to stay off the furniture. Jensen was the one who would usually give in and let them up. Like now.
He drifted off to sleep somewhere during hour two of the ‘Top 100 Greatest Car Crashes’ because his ringing phone woke him up. When he saw it was Jared, he hurried to answer it.
“Hey Jared,” he greeted, “y’all having a good time?”
“Yeah, we are,” he answered, “listen, I’ve had a little too much to drink and you know mama, she took my keys.”
“Oh,” was all Jensen could say in response, hurt clearly present in his tone.
Jared went on, “I’m not even drunk, but she’s worried and being all mother hen, so I told her I’d stay here. We have some family here I haven’t seen in a while so it’ll give me time to catch up.”
Jensen didn’t respond. “I’ll be home tomorrow after lunch. I won’t eat here, that way we can grab something together,” Jared offered.
“I won’t be here,’’ he said, keeping his tone neutral and choosing his words carefully. “My interview is tomorrow at ten. Remember? You took the message.”
“Shit Jens, I forgot,’’ lowering his voice, he continued, “that was when you were gone those few days with Danneel, and didn’t come home, and well we… I’m sorry it slipped my mind. M’sorry Jens, so sorry I forgot.”
Jensen took in Jared’s excuse. He had been gone for three days and it wasn’t like Jensen was speaking to Jared at the time.
“Please Jensen!” Jared begged when Jensen took the long pause. “You’ve got to believe me, I just forgot. Please don’t be mad at me. We’ve just gotten to a good place. Please.”
Jensen could hear the truth of the statement in the man’s voice, “It’s okay, Jared, I believe you.”
“I know how much this means to you. It’s your fucking dream job,” he explained desperately, “I wouldn’t jeopardize that for you. I promise!”
Before Jensen could respond, Jared begged again, “Please tell me you believe me. Please!”
“I do, baby, I do,” Jensen confirmed in a low soft tone not even realizing he had used the endearment. He just wanted to ease Jared’s guilt, to make him understand that he believed him.
“Fuck!” he spat, “everyone has lousy timing today! I’m being called for gift opening.’’
Jensen laughed in his ear.
“We’ll talk tomorrow after your interview Jens,” Jared promised and ended the call.
~*Jared*~
Jared walked back with his brother, smiling. Jensen felt something for him. He had called him baby. And earlier, Jensen kissed him. He really kissed him, with tongue and passion. Jensen broke his number one rule and kissed Jared first. That kiss meant more to him than the sex. And the endearment, well, that made him smile because he didn’t think that Jensen even realized he’d said it.
Jared did. The only way this day could get any better was if he was buried balls deep inside Jensen.
This was going to be a long night. He loved his family, he did, but he wanted nothing more than to be with Jensen, to kiss him, to love him all night long and sleep in in the morning. Since Jensen had the interview tomorrow, perhaps it was a good thing Jared wasn’t be there. Neither of them would have slept tonight.
~*~
The next day started out just as well, better than Jared dared hoped. His heart damn near jumped out of his chest, when he saw Jensen calling him first thing.
“Good morning Jared,” Jensen greeted sleepily.
Jared’s breath hitched at the way Jensen’s sleep colored voice washed over him, making him wish he had been there to kiss the man awake, to feel his body relaxed and warm from sleep.
“Good morning to you sleepyhead, I was gonna call you to make sure you didn’t sleep in.”
“M’wake, set my alarm and everything.”
“Barely,” Jared chuckled, “you had coffee yet?”
“On my first cup.’’ Jensen hesitated then continued, “I’m nervous. Aldis said that he thinks I’m going to get this but what if I don’t?”
“Stop doubting yourself, you’re good at what you do and you have the experience.” He encouraged. “Walk in there and exude confidence, and that job is yours.”
“Thanks Jare, I needed that.” Jensen said the smile heard over the phone. “ I’ll talk to you later.”
After his conversation with Jensen, Jared spent the morning with a stupid smile on his face. Everyone thought it was because of his family or his parents’ anniversary and he just let them. He knew that it was green eyes, freckles and a smile that was meant for him alone that brought him such happiness. It was Jensen.
Jeff had been giving him funny looks all last night and this morning, so while they sat on the couch alone, he finally asked “Jensen?”
Jared gave him a goofy grin and nodded yes. “It’s about time,” Jeff said and patted him on the back.
Everyone had just finished a late breakfast and soon were saying their good-byes. Jared checked his watch as he hugged his cousin Gilly goodbye and noticed it was close to the time for Jensen’s interview. Before it was too late, he pulled out his phone and texted Jensen a “good luck” for encouragement.
“Thanks!” Came the response a minute later.
“Remember to meet me for a late lunch so we can celebrate :)”
“I haven’t even had the interview yet.”
“I have faith in you, that job is yours! :D”
“Okay, we’ll meet at that steak place you love so much around 12. Have a beer ready for me. Gotta go.”
chapter 10
Danneel was in her office working when he found her. Standing in the doorway looking at her, before she realized he was there, gave Jensen a chance to study her. She was beautiful, smart, and funny. She could have worked anywhere with her Harvard MBA, but she chose to run an animal shelter. He knew she would have been a good fit with his family. Moreover, had there been no Jared, he would have been crazy stupid in love with her. Unfortunately for her, there was a Jared and he had hurt her. Now he had to see if he could salvage their friendship.
“Hi Danni,” he greeted her cautiously, “How are you?”
“Jensen,” she answered in surprise. “I didn’t think I would be seeing you around here any time soon.”
He wasn’t surprised by the hurt he heard in her voice.
“You got a minute to talk?” He asked, walking into the room and sitting in the chair facing her.
“This about us or the shelter?” She asked tentatively.
“Us?”
“Oh hell, then why didn’t you bring me a beer? Somehow I think we’re going to need it, or something stronger,’’ she said only half joking.
“I’m sorry,” Jensen rushed, trying to get his words out before she shut him down. “I was trying to deny feelings I had for… someone else and you got caught in the crossfire.”
Cocking her head, she looked across her desk at him and fired off, “Why did you have to use me to figure it out. Was I supposed to make her jealous?”
“Jealous, no never that. It’s not a… That’s not what happened.”
Cutting him off, she jumped on his statement. “It’s not a what, Jensen?” Suddenly her face dropped.
“Oh. Oh my God. It’s Jared,” she exclaimed covering her mouth with her hands.
Well that answered his previous question; she hadn’t known.
“That’s why he was so cold and short with me.’’
“I just want to apologize; you must know it was never my intention to hurt you. I don’t want you to think it was,” Jensen stopped because that’s exactly what he had done. He’d used her to fight what was happening between him and Jared.
“Then what were you doing?" She asked as though she read his mind. “You flirted with me, you, you led me on and then when I gave in, you suddenly discovered you were gay?”
He understood her anger, he really did, but he still had to make her understand where his mind was. He had been head over heels for her; he really had, but then, Jared had happened.
How could he explain it to her without giving Jared away? Hell he’d had problems with it himself and had thought Jared to be a horrible person. He now knows it was desperation on Jared’s part. He had fought so hard against it, but now, now he was glad that he was wanted so much and Jared had forced the issue.
“Danni, there’s nothing I can say to excuse what I did, but please, just know that at one point I did want a relationship with you, sought it out.” Jensen tried to explain, “This thing with Jared? Well it kinda blindsided me like you wouldn’t believe and I didn’t handle it very well.”
Pinning him down with a glare she demanded, “When did you realize you were gay? Did you know before you started flirting with me? Before you slept with me?”
“That’s the thing Danneel. I’m not… I don’t like… I’m not attracted to other men. Just… Jared.” Jensen confessed. “This happened just recently, and it happened so damn fast, I’m only just beginning to process it, trying to make sense of it all.”
Gathering his thoughts to make her understand, he continued, “I know this doesn’t make sense, but it’s the truth. I never wanted to hurt you.”
“You love him, don’t you?"
“So goddamned much,” he admitted. “I haven’t even told him yet.”
“Well then tell him Jensen,” She encouraged as she reached across the desk to grab his hands and squeezed, “Tell. Him. If it were me I’d want to know.”
“Like I said, I’m just coming to terms with this myself. How to tell the rest of my family, my friends. I don’t know who’s going to stick around.”
“I’ll admit, I’m jealous as hell, but I’m still going to be your friend Jensen. You’ve got great friends and a wonderful family, so give them some credit. If they have a problem, then fuck ‘em!” Danneel spoke with a grin;, she didn’t look pleased but at least she wasn’t pissed.
“Thank you Danni for listening, and well for everything.”
He stood up and walked to the door to leave. He stopped and turned around, “How about we do lunch sometime? Can we do that?”
“Yes,” she agreed nodding her head. “Give me some time, but yeah, we can do that.”
~*~
When Jensen finally made it home, he was drained and he felt like he’d put in a full day’s work yet he still had to face Jared. That was going to be the hardest part, mainly because he wasn’t sure how the man would respond. Everything could still blow up in his face.
What if Jensen was reading into it wrong and Jared just wanted him for sex all along? Did Jared really love him? What if he was just being played so he would end up wanting Jared but getting nothing in return? And what about the interview message that was so easily not passed along? Was Jared trying to sabotage him?
Trying to ease his mind, Jensen went to the den with Sadie and Harley; they would provide adequate distraction until Jared came home. He cuddled with them on the sofa even though they were being taught to stay off the furniture. Jensen was the one who would usually give in and let them up. Like now.
He drifted off to sleep somewhere during hour two of the ‘Top 100 Greatest Car Crashes’ because his ringing phone woke him up. When he saw it was Jared, he hurried to answer it.
“Hey Jared,” he greeted, “y’all having a good time?”
“Yeah, we are,” he answered, “listen, I’ve had a little too much to drink and you know mama, she took my keys.”
“Oh,” was all Jensen could say in response, hurt clearly present in his tone.
Jared went on, “I’m not even drunk, but she’s worried and being all mother hen, so I told her I’d stay here. We have some family here I haven’t seen in a while so it’ll give me time to catch up.”
Jensen didn’t respond. “I’ll be home tomorrow after lunch. I won’t eat here, that way we can grab something together,” Jared offered.
“I won’t be here,’’ he said, keeping his tone neutral and choosing his words carefully. “My interview is tomorrow at ten. Remember? You took the message.”
“Shit Jens, I forgot,’’ lowering his voice, he continued, “that was when you were gone those few days with Danneel, and didn’t come home, and well we… I’m sorry it slipped my mind. M’sorry Jens, so sorry I forgot.”
Jensen took in Jared’s excuse. He had been gone for three days and it wasn’t like Jensen was speaking to Jared at the time.
“Please Jensen!” Jared begged when Jensen took the long pause. “You’ve got to believe me, I just forgot. Please don’t be mad at me. We’ve just gotten to a good place. Please.”
Jensen could hear the truth of the statement in the man’s voice, “It’s okay, Jared, I believe you.”
“I know how much this means to you. It’s your fucking dream job,” he explained desperately, “I wouldn’t jeopardize that for you. I promise!”
Before Jensen could respond, Jared begged again, “Please tell me you believe me. Please!”
“I do, baby, I do,” Jensen confirmed in a low soft tone not even realizing he had used the endearment. He just wanted to ease Jared’s guilt, to make him understand that he believed him.
“Fuck!” he spat, “everyone has lousy timing today! I’m being called for gift opening.’’
Jensen laughed in his ear.
“We’ll talk tomorrow after your interview Jens,” Jared promised and ended the call.
~*Jared*~
Jared walked back with his brother, smiling. Jensen felt something for him. He had called him baby. And earlier, Jensen kissed him. He really kissed him, with tongue and passion. Jensen broke his number one rule and kissed Jared first. That kiss meant more to him than the sex. And the endearment, well, that made him smile because he didn’t think that Jensen even realized he’d said it.
Jared did. The only way this day could get any better was if he was buried balls deep inside Jensen.
This was going to be a long night. He loved his family, he did, but he wanted nothing more than to be with Jensen, to kiss him, to love him all night long and sleep in in the morning. Since Jensen had the interview tomorrow, perhaps it was a good thing Jared wasn’t be there. Neither of them would have slept tonight.
~*~
The next day started out just as well, better than Jared dared hoped. His heart damn near jumped out of his chest, when he saw Jensen calling him first thing.
“Good morning Jared,” Jensen greeted sleepily.
Jared’s breath hitched at the way Jensen’s sleep colored voice washed over him, making him wish he had been there to kiss the man awake, to feel his body relaxed and warm from sleep.
“Good morning to you sleepyhead, I was gonna call you to make sure you didn’t sleep in.”
“M’wake, set my alarm and everything.”
“Barely,” Jared chuckled, “you had coffee yet?”
“On my first cup.’’ Jensen hesitated then continued, “I’m nervous. Aldis said that he thinks I’m going to get this but what if I don’t?”
“Stop doubting yourself, you’re good at what you do and you have the experience.” He encouraged. “Walk in there and exude confidence, and that job is yours.”
“Thanks Jare, I needed that.” Jensen said the smile heard over the phone. “ I’ll talk to you later.”
After his conversation with Jensen, Jared spent the morning with a stupid smile on his face. Everyone thought it was because of his family or his parents’ anniversary and he just let them. He knew that it was green eyes, freckles and a smile that was meant for him alone that brought him such happiness. It was Jensen.
Jeff had been giving him funny looks all last night and this morning, so while they sat on the couch alone, he finally asked “Jensen?”
Jared gave him a goofy grin and nodded yes. “It’s about time,” Jeff said and patted him on the back.
Everyone had just finished a late breakfast and soon were saying their good-byes. Jared checked his watch as he hugged his cousin Gilly goodbye and noticed it was close to the time for Jensen’s interview. Before it was too late, he pulled out his phone and texted Jensen a “good luck” for encouragement.
“Thanks!” Came the response a minute later.
“Remember to meet me for a late lunch so we can celebrate :)”
“I haven’t even had the interview yet.”
“I have faith in you, that job is yours! :D”
“Okay, we’ll meet at that steak place you love so much around 12. Have a beer ready for me. Gotta go.”
chapter 10