mother brother sister lover wife or friend, a confidant, an angel, or just a fool in the end
Things I have heard about on the flist today include minna's having to explain that " I wear tight clothing and high heels/platforms for my own reasons, and they aren't an indicator of my worthiness as a human", one friend talking about how she was followed home from work, and burntcopper relating the story of how she was harassed on the street -- and, further, how she's resigned herself to a certain amount of harassment, and this incident was only extraordinary in that the guy actually grabbed her. That part was probably the most appalling of all until I read the news, because in what fucking universe should a large percentage of the population have to resign themselves to being harassed?
But then, as I say, I left LJ and I read the news, and that's when I heard about how a man who couldn't get a date walked into a gym, picked out a fitness class because it had a lot of women in it, walked into the room, and opened fire. Then I read blog comments on this case where people were saying that, well, with the way women tease men -- with the way women dress provocatively, and then don't deliver -- well, you just can't blame the guy for getting angry, after awhile; that "feminism is to blame and [Sodini] is taking a last stand".
When I started running the Home Team Matches, I got a pingback notifying me that American Idol fandom was talking about how I was just "butthurt" and whining.
Here's the deal: as long as I live in a world where I'm trashed as a tease for not wanting to open myself up to further triggers, because I broke down sobbing when I was fooling around on several different occasions, and I finally gave up on dating for the time being because, among other things, repeated experiences taught me that no one was going to put up with my panicking, and that one day I wouldn't be so lucky as to just escape with being called a tease or trashed to my face or behind my back to my friends, I am going to keep whining.
As long as I live in a world where my friends and I just have to resign ourselves to being harassed by friends, strangers, and coworkers, I am going to keep whining.
As long as I live in a world where one of the biggest fandoms out there has its characters refer to females by pejoratives 18 times in 16 episodes, and yet its (white male) stars are astounded by the "incredible sexism" of their female fans, I am going to keep whining.
As long as I live in a world where a series of books telling girls that the most wonderful thing they could ever hope for is an abusive and ultimately deadly relationship is a bestseller, I am going to keep whining.
As long as I live in a world where rape tourism fucking exists, I am going to keep whining.
As long as I live in a world where everyone, including women themselves, is taught that the rest of the world is entitled to view, access, violate, damage, and destroy female bodies as they wish, then yes, I'm going to keep whining. There are a lot of good reasons not to identify with the feminist movement, first and foremost, IMO, being that movement's tradition of focusing on the conditions of a very narrow band of upper-middle-class white women, ignoring and far too often out-and-out excluding women of color and/or of lower classes. But the idea that no protection of women's rights, no advocacy on women's behalf, is necessary anymore is not one of those reasons.
One of the reasons I will always have a fondness for Joe Biden is that for all his stupid gaffes and comments, he considered it a personal career failure that, though his advocacy was a major force behind the Violence Against Women Act, he was unable to get in the part where violence against women was classified as a hate crime. None of those women at that gym would be dead or hospitalized or terrorized if George Sodini didn't hate women, didn't consider them something less than himself, maybe -- probably -- less than human. Rape is not about love or even lust; it's about entitlement to a woman's body because it is a woman's body and thus not her own to decide what to do with, and it's therefore about dehumanization, power, and, yes, hate.
Ugh, now I'm crying. It was kind of a crappy depressive day earlier, too, though, so idk. There were some really nice hours in the evening there where austen and I got together for more X-Files, though. ♥
But then, as I say, I left LJ and I read the news, and that's when I heard about how a man who couldn't get a date walked into a gym, picked out a fitness class because it had a lot of women in it, walked into the room, and opened fire. Then I read blog comments on this case where people were saying that, well, with the way women tease men -- with the way women dress provocatively, and then don't deliver -- well, you just can't blame the guy for getting angry, after awhile; that "feminism is to blame and [Sodini] is taking a last stand".
When I started running the Home Team Matches, I got a pingback notifying me that American Idol fandom was talking about how I was just "butthurt" and whining.
Here's the deal: as long as I live in a world where I'm trashed as a tease for not wanting to open myself up to further triggers, because I broke down sobbing when I was fooling around on several different occasions, and I finally gave up on dating for the time being because, among other things, repeated experiences taught me that no one was going to put up with my panicking, and that one day I wouldn't be so lucky as to just escape with being called a tease or trashed to my face or behind my back to my friends, I am going to keep whining.
As long as I live in a world where my friends and I just have to resign ourselves to being harassed by friends, strangers, and coworkers, I am going to keep whining.
As long as I live in a world where one of the biggest fandoms out there has its characters refer to females by pejoratives 18 times in 16 episodes, and yet its (white male) stars are astounded by the "incredible sexism" of their female fans, I am going to keep whining.
As long as I live in a world where a series of books telling girls that the most wonderful thing they could ever hope for is an abusive and ultimately deadly relationship is a bestseller, I am going to keep whining.
As long as I live in a world where rape tourism fucking exists, I am going to keep whining.
As long as I live in a world where everyone, including women themselves, is taught that the rest of the world is entitled to view, access, violate, damage, and destroy female bodies as they wish, then yes, I'm going to keep whining. There are a lot of good reasons not to identify with the feminist movement, first and foremost, IMO, being that movement's tradition of focusing on the conditions of a very narrow band of upper-middle-class white women, ignoring and far too often out-and-out excluding women of color and/or of lower classes. But the idea that no protection of women's rights, no advocacy on women's behalf, is necessary anymore is not one of those reasons.
One of the reasons I will always have a fondness for Joe Biden is that for all his stupid gaffes and comments, he considered it a personal career failure that, though his advocacy was a major force behind the Violence Against Women Act, he was unable to get in the part where violence against women was classified as a hate crime. None of those women at that gym would be dead or hospitalized or terrorized if George Sodini didn't hate women, didn't consider them something less than himself, maybe -- probably -- less than human. Rape is not about love or even lust; it's about entitlement to a woman's body because it is a woman's body and thus not her own to decide what to do with, and it's therefore about dehumanization, power, and, yes, hate.
Ugh, now I'm crying. It was kind of a crappy depressive day earlier, too, though, so idk. There were some really nice hours in the evening there where austen and I got together for more X-Files, though. ♥