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Reading Room - 'Bodie Lost' and 'Bodie Found' by hutchynstarsk
Hello again :0)
Before we begin, I have to cough to a personal interest; as some of you already know, I understand depression. I think I first encountered it when I was seven and I've lost much of the last ten years to it.
However, for most of my life it's just been a lurking shadow, not something I've had to deal with on a daily basis.
But it gives me, I think, if not a unique, then at least a particular appreciation of this story - and I am treating the series as one story.
The causes of Bodie's breakdown aren't made manifestly clear; it's unusual for such a profound breakdown to occur so rapidly. It's more usually a slow descent into hell, but I don't think that matters, my own condition hasn't always obeyed the text books. The writer asks us to believe that a combination of drugs and mistreatment has irretrievably tipped the balance of Bodie's mind, to suspend our disbelief thus far - and so, thus far, I do.
Some readers need labels, and if you are one of them, you may have problems with this story because a diagnosis of Bodie's illness is never properly given. He exhibits some symptoms of depression, but suicidal ideation doesn't appear to be one of them, his condition is described as 'near-catatonic', but whether this proceeds directly from his mental state or is a complication of withdrawal is hard to discern. My personal view is that it doesn't matter, labels are useful for the medical professions, but when it comes to mental health, for a variety of reasons, they are often less so for the patient.
The pull for me in this story is Doyle, who believes 'Bodie always did think he was invincible. Sometimes, he almost got you to believe it as well', but is sufficiently attuned to his partner to ask 'Need to hang onto somebody, mate?' when Bodie is too lost to communicate his needs for himself.
Doyle clings determinedly to the belief that Bodie will 'probably be well in a week', until forced to concede that Bodie needs more than he can offer. The feeling of failure which attends this revelation is a common experience amongst the loved ones of people with mental illness, sometimes, as if bewildered by the perversity of the patient, the accompanying frustration is shared with the health professionals. In his turn, Bodie tries in his own fractured way to look after Doyle.
In a final heartbreak, Doyle finds himself having to admit his hitherto unspoken reservations about his partner's capabilities 'you’re not... ready, mate', but as difficult as Doyle finds this, in the end it is this very honesty which underpins the trust that has always bound them and which enabled Bodie to begin his climb out of the abyss in the first place.
For me, it's the pace of that recovery which is the strength of this story, I've not read a more realistic portrait. We live with Bodie's frustrations and humiliations as he tries to function with his broken brain. The mind does not heal quickly, and there are reversals along the way, but this story doesn't shy away from that, culminating in Doyle's unvoiced and triumphant 'You’re back, sunshine'.
As with my previous recommendation, this story isn't perfect, there are off notes, typos and minor continuity errors, but for all of the reasons above, I still think that it's a solid piece of writing. It's also that rare thing in Pros, an examination of love without lust, of the incalculable boon of having a best mate.
Series Title: Lost and Found: Stories: 'Bodie Lost' and 'Bodie Found'
Author: hutchynstarsk (http://archiveofourown.org/users/hutchynstarsk/pseuds/hutchynstarsk)
Pairing: Friendship
Link: http://archiveofourown.org/series/22689
Other Notes: At the time of writing the series is marked as incomplete, but hasn't been updated since 16th July 2012
And if you liked it, why not let the author know?
Before we begin, I have to cough to a personal interest; as some of you already know, I understand depression. I think I first encountered it when I was seven and I've lost much of the last ten years to it.
However, for most of my life it's just been a lurking shadow, not something I've had to deal with on a daily basis.
But it gives me, I think, if not a unique, then at least a particular appreciation of this story - and I am treating the series as one story.
The causes of Bodie's breakdown aren't made manifestly clear; it's unusual for such a profound breakdown to occur so rapidly. It's more usually a slow descent into hell, but I don't think that matters, my own condition hasn't always obeyed the text books. The writer asks us to believe that a combination of drugs and mistreatment has irretrievably tipped the balance of Bodie's mind, to suspend our disbelief thus far - and so, thus far, I do.
Some readers need labels, and if you are one of them, you may have problems with this story because a diagnosis of Bodie's illness is never properly given. He exhibits some symptoms of depression, but suicidal ideation doesn't appear to be one of them, his condition is described as 'near-catatonic', but whether this proceeds directly from his mental state or is a complication of withdrawal is hard to discern. My personal view is that it doesn't matter, labels are useful for the medical professions, but when it comes to mental health, for a variety of reasons, they are often less so for the patient.
The pull for me in this story is Doyle, who believes 'Bodie always did think he was invincible. Sometimes, he almost got you to believe it as well', but is sufficiently attuned to his partner to ask 'Need to hang onto somebody, mate?' when Bodie is too lost to communicate his needs for himself.
Doyle clings determinedly to the belief that Bodie will 'probably be well in a week', until forced to concede that Bodie needs more than he can offer. The feeling of failure which attends this revelation is a common experience amongst the loved ones of people with mental illness, sometimes, as if bewildered by the perversity of the patient, the accompanying frustration is shared with the health professionals. In his turn, Bodie tries in his own fractured way to look after Doyle.
In a final heartbreak, Doyle finds himself having to admit his hitherto unspoken reservations about his partner's capabilities 'you’re not... ready, mate', but as difficult as Doyle finds this, in the end it is this very honesty which underpins the trust that has always bound them and which enabled Bodie to begin his climb out of the abyss in the first place.
For me, it's the pace of that recovery which is the strength of this story, I've not read a more realistic portrait. We live with Bodie's frustrations and humiliations as he tries to function with his broken brain. The mind does not heal quickly, and there are reversals along the way, but this story doesn't shy away from that, culminating in Doyle's unvoiced and triumphant 'You’re back, sunshine'.
As with my previous recommendation, this story isn't perfect, there are off notes, typos and minor continuity errors, but for all of the reasons above, I still think that it's a solid piece of writing. It's also that rare thing in Pros, an examination of love without lust, of the incalculable boon of having a best mate.
Series Title: Lost and Found: Stories: 'Bodie Lost' and 'Bodie Found'
Author: hutchynstarsk (http://archiveofourown.org/users/hutchynstarsk/pseuds/hutchynstarsk)
Pairing: Friendship
Link: http://archiveofourown.org/series/22689
Other Notes: At the time of writing the series is marked as incomplete, but hasn't been updated since 16th July 2012
And if you liked it, why not let the author know?