100 words

[chuck4]

I realized again today that I don't talk to people much. I've always been quiet and shy, but it's gotten worse over the years. Most days, I probably don't say 100 words to other people. It's hit the point where I find myself practicing conversations with people in my head. I do that way more than I actually talk, and it's not ok. Real people

Comments

[tylerpierce]

Channeling my therapist, I'll say: force it.

Be bold, and make the conversations. It will hurt and feel unnatural. It will get easier.

Always, a lot of us don't hate you. Seriously.

[lerite]

We should hang out! I talk too much, and one of my formative influences as a child had a habit of asking questions like "Do you prefer cream soda or linoleum?" No one has prepared answers for those.

Um, if I had time to hang out, that is. Possibly some sort of lunch on a Thursday if you are ever downtown.

[chuck4]

I'm up for that sometime, I can always head downtown for lunch.

Are you working tonight? I have a hat full of quarters with trees on them. (I should probably take them out of the hat at some point.)

[lerite]

I am, in fact, running FNM tonight (being Friday), from 6:30-10:30.

[issahla]

I find myself practicing conversations with people in my head.

I thought everyone did that. Do you mean they don't? I hate that conversational pit that comes after the "hi, how are you, fine, how are you, fine" exchange. I SHOULD have something sparkling to say but never do and feel like a social failure.

[tagaboo]

I'm going to third this. I have conversations in my head all the damn freaking time.

And often times while I get the joke or sarcasm, I can't respond to it as if I got because that joke was unexpected. I generally have the "polite" face on, so I do the polite laugh or comment - until I know people. But, before I know people, I actively avoid speaking much so as to avoid sounding completely stupid because my brain and mouth seem to automatically detach.

[scrotasticfurry]

I can't count the time I've looked back on the past and said "man that would have been easier if i'd just relaxed and not worried to much about saying the right thing". of course that's easier said than done. i often find myself angry with myself when reflecting on conversations where in retrospect i thought i said something stupid.

anyway. what i'm saying is, i feel ya. the more i manage to convince myself that people should accept me for who i am and what i have to say, and if they don't then fuck 'em, the happier i am. but it's hard.

you're a truly likeable guy - and i don't just say that because i wanna have man-sex with you (i've been trying for years!). i can honestly say i don't know anyone who dislikes you, and i know a lot of people who like you a lot. so you don't need to take efforts to get random people to like you.

still tho, i understand and share yer frustrations.

btw we need to get together and have l0nch on a non-friday, as the friday's seem to keep not working out (can't l0nch today)

[chuck4]

Lunch Wednesday? I have Thursday plans and we're running out of them quickly.

[scrotasticfurry]

indeed!

[quincidence]

"I should have said this.." is a famous and consistent line I hear in my personal movie script

Honestly, I think you are funny, and though have spent little time with you, wouldn't say no to spending another social occasion with you.

I can't say relax, or it is nothing, cause well, that didn't do any good when I was in therapy. But I can say, you aren't so far off from what so many others fear.