Closure

[chronarchy]

Tina has informed me that she's looking for closure on our relationship.

She's asked me to write about it, for her, to give her an idea of what I was thinking, what I am thinking, and how I feel about it all.

I'm not sure how to do that. It's been over a year.

Comments

[romandruid]

And **HUGS**

This is going to sound totally counterintuitive but..

[deedeehopskotch]

Maybe it's easier for her to think that you never loved her. You might be hurting her now. Yes, your relationship is over. Yes, that does free you up to see others. It doesn't make it hurt any less. Sometimes, as irrational as it might seem, thinking that the reason someone is acting a certain way is because they never loved you is the safest for them emotionally.

I'm so sorry you're still going through this. It really doesn't seem like this is going to heal any time soon.

[qorinda]

Aw, what the heck? I wasn't going to comment, but I decided I am going to, because what I have to say is a bit different than everything else I read above

[nontacitare]

I'm worried that she sees my attempts to find a girlfriend (as spectacular as those failures have been) have hurt her and made her think that I was just waiting for a breakup so I could be "free" or so that I could get away and date girls I always thought were better suited for me.

Have you asked her if that's the case? It could be you're right, or it could be that it never even occured to her. Asking might clear up a lot of misunderstandings.

She's asked me to write about it, for her, to give her an idea of what I was thinking, what I am thinking, and how I feel about it all.

You might want to ask her to do the same thing for you. I have no idea what she'd say, but it might put your mind at ease.

Tina has informed me that she's looking for closure on our relationship.I hate to say it, but that's really hard to do when you're still living with the person. I'm speaking from personal experience here. You shouldn't ask her to move out - that's a decision the two of you should make together - but you might want to discuss the

[smithing_chick]

I think you should stop worrying about her so much. Worry about yourself.

Don't worry about hurting her- chances are she thinks you have. Stop ignoring ways she's hurting you.

You can't give her the closure she's looking for- she has to get it for herself.