Fic: De Profundis 1/5 (Girl Genius AU, PG-13)
"In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." -- 1 Thessalonians 5:18
Title: De Profundis
Author: San Antonio Rose (ramblin_rosie)
Rating: PG-13 for thematic elements (depression, grief, suicidal ideation)
Fandom: Girl Genius
Spoilers: Slight spoilers for recent canon (Act 2, Vol. 2); goes AU from Agatha Heterodyne and the Clockwork Princess (Vol. 5)
Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with Studio Foglio in any way, and this story is not known to or approved by the good Professors.
Genre: Angst, hurt/comfort, some romance
Pairing: Gil/Agatha, unrequited Lars/Agatha, eventual Lars/OFC
Type: Canon-divergent AU; complete in five parts, ~25,000 words (which I shall post as quickly as our lovely and gracious mod will let me!)
A/N: I've done my best to keep this story a "for want of a nail" AU, but there are a few bits of headcanon and some speculation and elements of deuterocanon that worked their way in. You can read more about one particular bit of headcanon in my first GG story, The Perfect Cover. If you're not familiar with GG, you may want to at least glance over the first few volumes to get a sense of the characters; the full run of the comic is available free online. Also, despite the thematic grimness, I promise it has a happy ending!
Summary: "Oh, very good, sir. I'm sure you'll manage to damage yourself this time." -- Ardsley Wooster, Agatha Heterodyne and the Clockwork Princess
While Agatha is still on the road from Passholdt to Sturmhalten, a split second's inattention leaves Gil with a broken back and a crushed spirit. Wooster and Higgs rush him to Mechanicsburg, but can the Jägers get Agatha to him in time to restore his will to live? What will Klaus do when he learns of Gil's disappearance? And how will matters progress if Master Payne's players take the stage in Sturmhalten with the wrong actress playing Lucrezia?
De Profundis
By San Antonio Rose
Chapter 1
Dead Man’s Curve
One second. That was all it took for everything to go disastrously wrong.
Ardsley had been worried for weeks that something like this would happen. It was small consolation that Master Gil hadn’t taken to drink in his grief over Miss Clay-er, Lady Heterodyne. But his insistence on working for hours on end at reviving Punch and Judy, interrupted only to fight killer clanks Grantz brought in from the Wastelands and to eat and sleep when Zoing and Ardsley forced him to do so, was little better. The only reason Ardsley hadn’t resorted to drugging Gil was the extreme danger posed by the clanks. Gil couldn’t afford to be at anything less than his best if he hoped to survive his new hobby.
Maybe Ardsley should have interfered sooner. But maybe that would only have made matters worse. He didn’t know.
As it was, Grantz’s latest delivery had arrived late in the day about six weeks after Lady Heterodyne’s departure. Gil had been wearing down, but he’d insisted on fighting the thing before calling it a night. Zoing had stayed to monitor Punch and Judy, and Ardsley had gone with Gil and stood by to time the fight and make tea afterward. Nothing out of the ordinary happened as Gil activated the clank and waited while it warmed up enough to fight.
And then there was a noise from outside. Ardsley wasn’t sure what it was or where it had come from. It didn’t even properly register. But whatever it was, it broke Gil’s concentration.
He turned his head. And the clank grabbed him in its razor-sharp claws and threw him into a post. Gil yelped and fell to the floor in an untidy heap.
Ardsley barely had time to shove the stopwatch into his pocket before the clank began advancing on Gil to finish the job. The clank’s armor had been designed to withstand artillery fire; there was no way Ardsley’s service pistol would be any use against it. Having no alternative, he leapt on top of the clank, wrenched the cover open by sheer force of adrenaline, and ripped out two handfuls of wires. The clank froze, and he had just time to jump clear of it before it exploded.
As the smoke cleared, Ardsley saw to his horror that Gil hadn’t moved.
“GIL!” he cried, throwing debris out of his way to get to his old school chum.
“Gaaaaaah,” Gil replied.
Ardsley finally got a path cleared and fell to his knees at Gil’s side. “How bad is it?” he asked as he pressed a handkerchief to one visible gash.
“Bad,” Gil choked out, tears leaking from his eyes despite a visible effort to suppress them. “Back-Wooster, I c-... can’t feel my legs.”
Zoing announced his arrival at that moment with a loud gasp of “HEEEEEEP!”
Ardsley looked up to spot the construct standing frozen in the doorway. “Zoing, go and get help. His back’s broken. We’ve got to take him to Mechanicsburg.”
“Bink,” Zoing agreed and scurried out.
“No,” Gil breathed. “No, Wooster, don’t-Sun will... he’ll tell Father....”
“I should think your father’s displeasure would be far greater if I didn’t,” Ardsley snapped. “Besides that, you’re my friend, you clod. You can’t expect me to leave you like this.”
Gil didn’t audibly whimper, but again, it took a visible effort.
A sharp intake of breath from the doorway heralded Zoing’s return with an astonished airman with a gold ring in his left ear and his blond hair plaited back in a short pigtail. “What happened?” asked the airman.
“Zingaboom,” said Zoing.
“Accident,” Ardsley clarified slightly. “We need medical transport to the Great Hospital.”
“No,” Gil insisted through clenched teeth. “Can’t leave... Punch... Punch and Judy....”
That startled the airman even more, and he dropped to his knees beside Ardsley. “What’s this about Punch and Judy?”
“C-c-can’t leave ’em-”
“He’s reanimating them,” Ardsley explained quietly. “The baron mustn’t know.”
The airman took a deep breath, then nodded once. “We’ll bring ’em with, then.”
Gil frowned at him. “C-can’t-”
“Beggin’ your pardon, sir, but I do have experience with spark work. I’ll find a way.” The airman paused. “Like to know who I’m ferryin’, though, if I might ask.”
“This is Gilgamesh Wulfenbach,” Ardsley answered, still keeping his voice low. “And he doesn’t want his father to know about his injuries, either.”
The airman nodded slowly. “Understood, sir.”
“I’m his valet, Ardsley Wooster, and you’ve met Zoing. And you are?”
“Airman Third Class Axel Higgs, sir. I’m not rated as a pilot, but if it comes to stealin’ a medical ship, I can fly it.”
Ardsley nodded once. “Good man. Thank you, Higgs. Zoing, go with him, give him all the help he needs.”
Higgs nodded back and left with Zoing at his heels.
“Guess Her... Undying Majesty’ll... be pretty pleased,” Gil gritted out bitterly.
Ardsley felt a headache coming on. “Gil, do us both a favor and shut up.”
“Father’s got... no more heirs... you c’n just... go ahead... kill me now....”
“I am not going to kill you, idiot. And you are not going to die of your injuries, not while I’ve anything to say about it.”
“Nah, g’head... kill the empire... I got... nothin’ left to live for....”
“For the love of Mike, shut up, Gil!”
Gil sighed, closed his eyes, and relaxed slightly, and a tear escaped before he whispered, “’M sorry, Ardsley.”
“I am not letting you die,” Ardsley repeated. “And that’s final.”
“’Kay.”
“So perhaps you can find some other way to let me know you’re still conscious? Reciting pi, say?”
Gil had gotten to about the twenty-fifth decimal of pi when Higgs returned with two medics and a back board, only to leave again following Zoing. The medics got self-pressurizing bandages and small healing engines onto Gil’s open wounds in short order, disregarding his protests, and Ardsley backed away to leave them room to start a blood transfusion and execute the fiddly task of getting Gil onto the back board. Now that Gil wasn’t in danger of bleeding out, they could afford to take time and care, and they did so. At last, however, Gil was safely strapped to the back board and Ardsley was holding the bag of blood and the bag of morphine solution attached to the intravenous port in Gil’s arm, and the medics carried Gil to the nearest hangar bay with a medical ship.
By the time they arrived, so had Zoing and Higgs... who had somehow managed to transfer Punch and Judy to the ship, life support system and all. Ardsley was too relieved to ask questions.
Once the medical ship had left Castle Wulfenbach and Gil had finally succumbed to morphine-induced sleep, Higgs lifted Zoing onto the bed to hold Gil’s hand and pulled Ardsley aside. “What the devil was Master Wulfenbach doing? That clank looked like one from the Wastelands, at least from what I could see of the remains.”
Ardsley sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “He’s... oh, I don’t know. I think he’s trying to avenge Miss Agatha-Lady Heterodyne. At least he was. With a broken back....” He shook his head.
Higgs blinked twice, then lowered his voice even further. “Listen. He’s right that Dr. Sun will report this to the baron. But there’s someplace else in Mechanicsburg we can take him to get help, maybe even better help than at the hospital. Unloading Punch and Judy should create enough of a hullabaloo-let’s you and I take Master Wulfenbach’s stretcher and disappear in the confusion.”
“To take him where?”
“’Fraid you’ll have to trust me there, sir. But I’ve my orders to keep him alive.”
Ardsley’s eyed narrowed. “Orders from whom?”
Higgs’ reply was barely audible: “Someone what knows Miss Agatha’s not dead.”
Only long practice kept Ardsley from reacting outwardly to that statement and all its implications.
Higgs must have seen something in Ardsley’s eyes, though, because he nodded once. “Do we have a deal, sir?”
Ardsley nodded back. “Yes, Mr. Higgs, I believe we do.”
“Light,” Agatha ordered, and the watchcase clank on her shoulder clicked on its light and held on as she crawled under the table in the prop wagon to see what damage Moxana, the beautiful mute clank she’d just met, had asked her to repair. She had just spotted the RvR maker’s mark when:
Ding! Moxana suddenly interrupted, startling Agatha enough that she nearly bumped her head before backing out hurriedly.
“What?” Agatha asked her. “What is it?”
Moxana held up The Device, then placed The Clock over it.
“You... want me to wait to work on you? Why?”
Moxana swept the cards off the table as Master Payne stated, “She looked up just now, as if she heard something.”
Krosp frowned. “I didn’t.”
Moxana shot him a narrow-eyed look and flipped the green baize table surface to reveal a chessboard. But she didn’t set up a standard chess game. Instead she started with two rooks in opposite corners, a grey one at a8 and a cracked white one at h1. Around the grey rook she placed the grey king, a grey knight-and the white queen.
Agatha inhaled sharply as Moxana put a finger on the rook and looked at her. “Castle Wulfenbach.”
Moxana nodded once, then moved the white queen away toward the center of the board. The grey knight followed, only to stop when she laid a black queen in its path.
“Olga,” Agatha interpreted.
Moxana covered the knight with her hand. When she revealed it again, it was a much darker grey.
Agatha’s breath caught, but she nodded. “Go on.”
Moxana moved the knight and the black queen back to the same row as the grey rook and king while shifting the white queen two rows toward the white rook. The black queen she laid between the grey king and rook. But the knight she stood further down the row and surrounded with black pawns. The knight then took each of the pawns in turn... until one pawn came inside his path and knocked him over, breaking the knight in two.
Agatha gasped. “Gil!”
Moxana gingerly lifted the broken knight to rest beside the white rook. Then she looked Agatha in the eye, shook her head, and put the knight in Agatha’s hand. She closed Agatha’s hand over the piece once, then opened it to reveal that the knight was once more whole, though with the join still clearly visible. She then repeated the motion... only this time, the repaired piece that appeared in Agatha’s hand was the white king.
“So... I... need to go to Mechanicsburg to help heal Gil.”
Moxana nodded once.
“And you think I should go now.”
Moxana nodded again.
“And if I don’t?”
Moxana closed Agatha’s hand again and opened it to reveal the broken knight. Then she closed Agatha’s hand once more... and squeezed. Agatha felt the pop as the chess piece shattered.
“No!” Agatha cried. “Gil!”
Moxana pulled out The Lovers from her tarot deck, showed it to Agatha, and tapped her fist with it. Agatha opened her hand again to find the repaired white king. Moxana placed the white queen and rook beside it, closed Agatha’s hand, and again tapped it with The Lovers. When Agatha opened her hand this time, the king and queen were the same, but the rook was now whole.
Agatha struggled to breathe past the tears that were trying to choke her. “We’re... we’re going to Mechanicsburg anyway-”
Moxana put The Clock on top of the pieces in Agatha’s hand. When she took it away again, all three were broken.
“We don’t have time.” Agatha stifled a sob. “If... we....”
Moxana took Agatha’s other hand and placed in it an emerald queen, an amethyst knight, a tiger-eye knight, and an olivine knight. Almost as an afterthought, she added a white pawn.
“Hey!” Krosp objected.
Moxana ignored him and brought Agatha’s hands together, covering them with her own. When she let go, the white king, queen, and rook were whole once more.
Agatha drew a very ragged breath and set down all of the chess pieces, then put her hands around Moxana’s folded ones. “Send word to me when you get to Mechanicsburg. I ought to have taken the castle by then. I’ll repair you then if I can.”
Moxana chimed softly and pulled her hands away as the table surface shifted to reveal a hidden compartment, in which rested a book that she lifted out. Said book was bound in red leather and bore a gilt RvR in the center of the front cover.
Agatha gasped loudly. “Is that-”
“Van Rijn’s notebook,” Master Payne confirmed as Moxana placed the book gently in Agatha’s hands.
Tears started streaming down Agatha’s face as she hugged the book to her chest. “Thank you, Moxana. I’ll take the greatest care of it.”
Moxana placed her hands on Agatha’s cheeks as if to say, I know you will. Then she pulled away and held up The Clock again.
Agatha sniffled and nodded. “Understood. Thank you.”
Moxana folded her hands, bowed her head, and closed her eyes as if shutting down.
“Come, then,” Master Payne said quietly. “We’d best send you on your way as soon as possible.”
Still sniffling, Agatha left the prop wagon and let Master Payne usher her back to the Baba Yaga.
By the time she’d ordered the majority of her little clanks to stay with the circus and Krosp had helped her finish packing, Agatha had mostly gotten her tears under control. She hadn’t wanted to admit it, but she did care for Gil-more than she’d ever cared for Lars, though Lars was nice enough as a colleague-and if she understood Moxana correctly, Gil had gotten himself hurt because of her. Because he thought she was dead. He could die because he thought she was dead. She hadn’t known... she’d never wanted it to come to this.
She still wasn’t sure she should trust him, and she really wasn’t sure she should marry him, Moxana’s message notwithstanding. They barely knew each other. All the same, she couldn’t let him die.
Her thoughts were interrupted by a tap at the door. “Are you ready... Lady Heterodyne?” Master Payne asked quietly.
Agatha drew a deep, bracing breath. “Yes, sir,” she replied, shrugged on her pack, and shouldered her death ray.
Master Payne opened the door but stood to one side to let her out. “We found two horses for your party. That’s all we could spare, but the Jägers assure me they can keep pace just fine.”
Agatha nodded. “Very generous of you. Thank you, Master Payne. And... thank you for everything else, too.”
His large hands closed over her upper arms and squeezed gently. “Take care of yourself, Agatha.”
“I will. See you in Mechanicsburg?”
“We can hope.” He squeezed her arms again and let her go. “I haven’t told the others what’s happening, only that you’re leaving because of an emergency.”
She nodded again. “I guess I’d better say goodbye, then.”
Taking her leave of the rest of the circus was harder than Agatha thought. Countess Marie gave her a warm hug and let her cry on her shoulder for a moment, and Pix promised to model her future portrayals of Lucrezia on Agatha’s as much as possible. Most everyone else at least shook her hand and thanked her for her contributions to the show. Balthazar hugged her leg and promised never to forget her, and Trish pried him off with an apologetic smile. But finally, slowly, she reached the edge of the camp, where the Jägers were waiting in the deepening twilight with the horses and Zeetha.
And Lars.
The green Jäger looked at Agatha, then glanced at Lars, then nodded in the general direction of the prop wagon. Agatha could make a pretty good guess as to what that meant, since it looked like Moxana was one of the Storm King’s Muses. From what Dr. Beetle had said, most sparks would jump at the chance to examine a Muse, and examine would generally end up meaning break. Master Payne hadn’t sounded certain of the circus’ chances of getting through Sturmhalten unscathed, which probably meant he was worried about losing Moxana-more so now that the Jägers and Zeetha would be leaving with Agatha and Krosp. And besides, how fair would it be to Lars to bring him along if... if he was... interested in Agatha and she was going back to Gil?
Agatha took a deep breath and looked Lars in the eye. “No, Lars. I can’t let you come.”
He frowned. “Agatha-”
“No. I’ll have the Jägers and Zeetha and Krosp. I’ll be perfectly safe with them. You need to stay with the circus to protect Moxana when you go through Sturmhalten.”
“But... but....”
“I told you,” Zeetha interrupted. “Besides, the show can’t lose Bill and Lucrezia both at once. You really want Abner playing your part?”
That got a chuckle out of Lars. “No, I suppose not. But Agatha-”
“I’ll be careful,” Agatha promised.
Lars sighed heavily, and his shoulders slumped. “All right. I’ll... see you in Mechanicsburg.” Then he kissed her cheek and went back to the fire in the center of the camp.
“Ve better go, Miztress,” said the green Jäger.
Agatha swallowed hard and nodded. The purple Jäger helped her onto one horse while Zeetha swung into the saddle of the other, and the blond Jäger set Krosp carefully on top of the bedroll behind Agatha’s saddle. They didn’t have a lantern, but that was probably best for now, and she’d heard that Jägers could see in the dark perfectly well.
“Diz vay,” the purple Jäger said then and started off into the forest.
Agatha and Zeetha followed at a walk. The blond Jäger fell back to walk behind them, and the green Jäger stationed himself at Agatha’s side.
“Zo, Miztress, ve hefn’t hed a chence to tok,” he said as they passed the edge of the clearing. “Hy iz Dimo. Dot’s Maxim,” he added, pointing to the purple Jäger, “und dot’s Oggie,” meaning the one in the rear.
“Nice to meet you,” Agatha said. “But forgive me-why aren’t you with the baron?”
“Ve vos detached. Zome uv us volunteered to keep lookink for hyu poppa und hyu onkel or deir heir. Dot vay de rest could go vit de baron, help him und keep his protection, und ve could say ve hef not abandoned de Heterodynes.”
“Surprised you’re admitting that in front of me,” Zeetha remarked, one eyebrow raised.
Dimo returned the raised eyebrow. “Vill hyu betray her?”
“No. She’s my zumil. I’m here to help her.”
Dimo smiled. “Denn iz no problem, iz dere?”
Zeetha smiled back. “Not if Oggie stops sneaking up behind me.”
“Hey!” Oggie objected. “Dese iz prime goot sneekin-op moves!”
“HO-kay,” Maxim interrupted. “Ve iz far enuf from de zirkus. Ve pick up de pace now.”
And by ‘pick up the pace,’ he evidently meant gallop. The party ran flat out through the dark for a good ten miles before Maxim called a halt for the night, at which point the horses were winded and Agatha’s head was spinning. Dimo helped her down, and Zeetha and Oggie made camp while Maxim saw to the horses. Krosp caught a couple of mimmoths for himself as Agatha started supper.
“How long do you expect it to take us to get to Mechanicsburg?” she asked Dimo as he cautiously started a small fire.
“Heh, vell,” he replied, “dot depends. If ve go over de mountains, mebbe two veeks. But ve know dese mountains. Und ve iz not vit de circus now. Ve ken tek shortcuts-under de mountains.”
“Vit de horses, might be a bit tricky,” Maxim said, joining them. “Bot if hyu iz tinkink ov dot vun tonnel....”
“Yah, dot gets uz past Sturmhalten in mebbe two days.”
“Shoo, ve ken tek de horses through dot vun. Iz mebbe two more days from dere. Und denn....”
“Denn,” Oggie chimed in, “ve goes through de Sneaky Gate und takes her to Mamma Gkika’s. Hif Mamma dun know vere to go, she knows de pipple to esk.”
Agatha frowned. “What’s Mamma Gkika’s?”
“It’s a bar,” Zeetha answered.
“Iz more den dot,” Dimo said. “Mamma iz von of uz, a general-und also a medic.”
Zeetha raised both eyebrows this time. “Lars said the Jägers won’t let anyone but a Heterodyne work on them when they’re injured.”
Dimo nodded. “Iz true.”
Agatha gulped. “You mean... there might be Jägers at this bar who need my help?”
Maxim reached across Dimo and patted Agatha’s arm. “Iz no hurry, Miztress. Some of us haff been vaiting a long time. Ve ken vait anodder veek or two. Hyu tek care ov hyu boyfriend first, und denn fix de kestle.”
“I... I’m sure I can fix the castle, but... I don’t have any hands-on medical training.” Agatha bit her lip. “Does... would you let Gil work on you, or at least help me, if he were my husband?”
Everybody else looked startled at that, and Krosp leaned forward. “I thought you didn’t want to marry him.”
Agatha ducked her head and poked at the fire. “I’m not sure. But I am sure I’m going to need the help. There’s only so much I can do on my own. And he did... well, he didn’t exactly ask me, but he did want to run off and get married after we dealt with the hive engine. And now he’s hurt because of me. I mean, I know I hardly know him, but it’s not like I have many options, and....”
“Ve eat first, hey?” Oggie suggested. “Und hyu sleep on it a few days. Hyu dun hef to decide right now. Hy vos married vunce, long time ago; iz not zumtink to do in a hurry.”
Agatha blinked at him. “You were?”
“Ho yah, Hy gotz descendants!”
“Und von’t shot op about dem,” Dimo grumbled.
Maxim snickered.
“Oh, but I’d like to hear,” Agatha said. “I’m afraid I don’t know very much about Jägers.”
So as they ate, Oggie regaled them with stories of his married life and of his children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and one great-great-grandson that he knew of-this last being Philbert Oleo, a slightly disreputable and not very talented storyteller of whom Oggie fondly disapproved. Having read a couple of his books that were in Gil’s library, Agatha couldn’t disagree. Then after the meal, Zeetha insisted that Agatha get some sleep right away so as to be rested for training in the morning. Agatha was too tired to argue, so she laid out her bedroll while Zeetha and the Jägers divided the watch.
She may have imagined Krosp curling up possessively on her chest just as she drifted off, but she didn’t think so.
“Drinkateee,” Zoing insisted.
Gil didn’t even open his eyes. “No.”
A cup pushed against his lips. “Drinkateee.”
Gil sighed and tried to turn away. “Zoing, how many ti-”
Zoing planted one foot on either side of Gil’s head, immobilizing it, and poured the tea into Gil’s mouth in mid-word. Gil couldn’t summon the energy to do anything but swallow. Once the tea was all down his throat, Zoing made a small noise of triumph and backed off-judging from the sound, to stand on the nightstand instead.
“Just let me die,” Gil groaned. He’d lost count of how many times he’d said that the last few days since waking up... wherever here was, this place that smelled of beer and blood and Jägerkin. Everything below his waist was still numb and lifeless. “There’s no point in going on. Everyone’s gone. Father hates me. Agatha’s dead. And now I can’t even work. I’ve got nothing left to live for.”
Zoing made a distressed noise but didn’t try to force any more tea into him.
“-ever so glad you’re here,” Gil suddenly heard Wooster saying urgently outside the door. “He’s in a bad way, refusing treatment-”
The door opened, and someone rushed to his bedside, smelling of horse and sweat and... it... it couldn’t be....
Hardly daring to hope, Gil opened his eyes... and gasped at who was sitting down on the edge of his bed. “Agatha?!”
“Yes,” Agatha replied, bursting into tears. “Oh, Gil, I’m so sorry; I came as soon as I heard.”
“Agatha, you’re... you’re....” He reached up to touch her arm, her hair, her tear-damp cheek. “You’re alive.”
She covered his hand with her own and nodded. “I’m sorry I had to trick you like that. I never meant to hurt you.”
“You’re... you’re real, you’re not dead, you....” He pulled her glasses off and handed them to Zoing before caressing her face again with both hands. “You’re alive.”
She nodded and smiled with a laugh that was mostly a sob. And he pulled her down and kissed her like his life depended on it.
At some point he vaguely registered his necklace breaking. He didn’t care. She was here, she was real, she was kissing him back. Nothing else mattered. She was alive, and he could live again.
Eventually, they had to come up for air, and she practically collapsed against his chest and nestled her head under his chin. “Gil,” she sighed, resting her left hand on his right shoulder, and he felt the gas connector back on her ring finger, where it belonged.
“Oh, Agatha, Agatha,” he returned, not able to be coherent in the slightest. His arms were around her, his left hand tangled in her hair and his right thumb hooked through her belt loop. And no matter what anyone who’d known him in Paris might have thought, he was perfectly happy for things not to go any further right now.
She was alive.
-And he was still paralyzed.
He sighed. “Agatha, there’s something I have to tell you. Why I’m here.”
“Mamma Gkika told me,” she said, rubbing his shoulder a little. “Wooster said you’ve been refusing treatment.”
He buried his nose in her hair. “I’m sorry. Stupid of me.”
“Mamma said she immobilized your back, though, and she’s... there’s a formula. It’s brewed for Jägers, but she thinks it might work on you. It’s called battledraught. Most of your external wounds have already healed, but there were more internal injuries than just the spinal one. It... should get you back on your feet in a matter of hours.”
He smiled. “All right, I’ll stop being an idiot and take the stuff. Better that than asking you to marry half a man,” he added, moving his shoulder slightly to indicate that he’d felt the gas connector.
“Gil, I... about that. Once we get you well, we need to repair the castle so it can recognize me. But when that’s done... I can’t give up being the Heterodyne to become a Wulfenbach.”
He frowned. “Does that mean you don’t want to marry me?”
“No, I do. It’s just....” She huffed. “I’m not sure there’s a way to say this that’s not awkward.”
“Well, say it awkwardly, then.”
“There are lots of things I need your help with. But the only way I can let you help...” Her hand tightened around his shoulder as she took a deep breath and finished, “is if you’re a Heterodyne.”
His breath hitched, and his arms tightened around her.
“Is... will that be....”
“Agatha,” he interrupted, “I used to dream of being a Heterodyne.”
“What?” she gasped, pulling back to look him in the eye.
He nodded. “When I was a kid... I don’t know what might have happened, but I had no idea who my family was. Father hid me for a long time and told me my name was Gil Holzfäller, but he wouldn’t tell me anything about myself. And... well, you know what the school was like.”
She nodded slowly. “Yes, I do.”
“Finally I convinced a friend of mine to help me break into the records vault to find out what the baron was hiding. We found some stupid story about my being the son of a spark who’d been killed by his own creation, and I was so upset I ran off... straight into a Jäger, who took me to Father, who told me the truth.”
“Oh.”
“Then they caught my friend, and I had to tell Father he’d been spying. He was expelled.”
“Oh, Gil.”
He drew a ragged breath. “For a couple of years after that, I still thought life would have been simpler if I’d turned out to be a Heterodyne.”
“I can see why. So... you don’t mind being... well. My consort?”
“Heh,” he huffed with a smile and caressed her cheek. “I’d do anything for you. Even if it means giving up the empire. I never really wanted it anyway.”
She kissed him before sitting up. “Well, then, I suppose we’d better start by getting you back on your feet.”
“Where did you learn to kiss like that, by the way?”
She blushed a little. “Well, the circus was a Heterodyne show, and... I ended up playing my mother.”
“-Ah.”
“I... kind of think he might have been more serious about it than I was.”
“Kind of?!” interrupted an amused female voice from the doorway, and Gil turned his head to see a girl about his age with long green hair and a pair of swords lounging against the doorframe. “Zumil, you have no idea the effect you had on Lars, do you?”
“Well, it hardly matters now,” Agatha shot back.
The green-haired girl raised an eyebrow. “Clearly.”
Agatha rolled her eyes. “Oh, you’re impossible, Zeetha.”
“Zumil,” Gil repeated, searching his memory for where he’d heard that name before. “As in ko-... kolee-dok-zumil?”
Zeetha stared at him and straightened.
“That is the phrase, right?”
“Yes,” Zeetha replied, coming toward the bed as Zoing handed Agatha her glasses. “How did you know it?”
Gil blinked. “My father once said he and my mother were kolee-dok-zumil. But it... I think it was a slip of the tongue. I asked him about it, and he wouldn’t explain. He wouldn’t even translate.”
“Ashtara preserve us,” she breathed, wide-eyed. “Gil, has your father said anything to you-anything at all-about Skifander?”
Gil shook his head. “Not that I recall. Why?”
“That’s where Zeetha’s from,” Agatha explained. “Sorry, this is Zeetha, Daughter of Chump. Zeetha, Gilgamesh Wulfenbach.”
Zeetha nodded slowly. “It’s nice to finally meet you... brother.”
“Brother?!” Gil and Agatha chorused.
Zeetha nodded again and came around the bed to sit on Gil’s other side. “One of the reasons I came to Europa was to look for Chump. He disappeared with my twin brother when we were only a month old. And yes, he was my mother’s zumil. She taught him everything-all the ancient warrior disciplines we hardly ever teach to outsiders.”
Gil frowned. “There were... things Father taught me that were never taught to the other students, things like... tricks for staying awake for days at a time-”
“Yes. That would be one of them.”
Gil studied her face for a moment. “Zeetha... where is Skifander?”
Zeetha sighed and shook her head. “I don’t know. I came down with a terrible fever on the way here, and I’ve been trying to find my way back for three years. Agatha was the first person I’d met who’d ever heard of Skifander.”
Gil blew the air out of his cheeks. “I’m sure Father will know.”
“Yes. And I look forward to getting to ask him.”
Just then Wooster walked in and stopped short just inside the doorway. “Oh, really, Master Gil,” he chided.
Gil laughed for the first time in months. It felt like freedom.
Next
Title: De Profundis
Author: San Antonio Rose (ramblin_rosie)
Rating: PG-13 for thematic elements (depression, grief, suicidal ideation)
Fandom: Girl Genius
Spoilers: Slight spoilers for recent canon (Act 2, Vol. 2); goes AU from Agatha Heterodyne and the Clockwork Princess (Vol. 5)
Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with Studio Foglio in any way, and this story is not known to or approved by the good Professors.
Genre: Angst, hurt/comfort, some romance
Pairing: Gil/Agatha, unrequited Lars/Agatha, eventual Lars/OFC
Type: Canon-divergent AU; complete in five parts, ~25,000 words (which I shall post as quickly as our lovely and gracious mod will let me!)
A/N: I've done my best to keep this story a "for want of a nail" AU, but there are a few bits of headcanon and some speculation and elements of deuterocanon that worked their way in. You can read more about one particular bit of headcanon in my first GG story, The Perfect Cover. If you're not familiar with GG, you may want to at least glance over the first few volumes to get a sense of the characters; the full run of the comic is available free online. Also, despite the thematic grimness, I promise it has a happy ending!
Summary: "Oh, very good, sir. I'm sure you'll manage to damage yourself this time." -- Ardsley Wooster, Agatha Heterodyne and the Clockwork Princess
While Agatha is still on the road from Passholdt to Sturmhalten, a split second's inattention leaves Gil with a broken back and a crushed spirit. Wooster and Higgs rush him to Mechanicsburg, but can the Jägers get Agatha to him in time to restore his will to live? What will Klaus do when he learns of Gil's disappearance? And how will matters progress if Master Payne's players take the stage in Sturmhalten with the wrong actress playing Lucrezia?
De Profundis
By San Antonio Rose
Chapter 1
Dead Man’s Curve
One second. That was all it took for everything to go disastrously wrong.
Ardsley had been worried for weeks that something like this would happen. It was small consolation that Master Gil hadn’t taken to drink in his grief over Miss Clay-er, Lady Heterodyne. But his insistence on working for hours on end at reviving Punch and Judy, interrupted only to fight killer clanks Grantz brought in from the Wastelands and to eat and sleep when Zoing and Ardsley forced him to do so, was little better. The only reason Ardsley hadn’t resorted to drugging Gil was the extreme danger posed by the clanks. Gil couldn’t afford to be at anything less than his best if he hoped to survive his new hobby.
Maybe Ardsley should have interfered sooner. But maybe that would only have made matters worse. He didn’t know.
As it was, Grantz’s latest delivery had arrived late in the day about six weeks after Lady Heterodyne’s departure. Gil had been wearing down, but he’d insisted on fighting the thing before calling it a night. Zoing had stayed to monitor Punch and Judy, and Ardsley had gone with Gil and stood by to time the fight and make tea afterward. Nothing out of the ordinary happened as Gil activated the clank and waited while it warmed up enough to fight.
And then there was a noise from outside. Ardsley wasn’t sure what it was or where it had come from. It didn’t even properly register. But whatever it was, it broke Gil’s concentration.
He turned his head. And the clank grabbed him in its razor-sharp claws and threw him into a post. Gil yelped and fell to the floor in an untidy heap.
Ardsley barely had time to shove the stopwatch into his pocket before the clank began advancing on Gil to finish the job. The clank’s armor had been designed to withstand artillery fire; there was no way Ardsley’s service pistol would be any use against it. Having no alternative, he leapt on top of the clank, wrenched the cover open by sheer force of adrenaline, and ripped out two handfuls of wires. The clank froze, and he had just time to jump clear of it before it exploded.
As the smoke cleared, Ardsley saw to his horror that Gil hadn’t moved.
“GIL!” he cried, throwing debris out of his way to get to his old school chum.
“Gaaaaaah,” Gil replied.
Ardsley finally got a path cleared and fell to his knees at Gil’s side. “How bad is it?” he asked as he pressed a handkerchief to one visible gash.
“Bad,” Gil choked out, tears leaking from his eyes despite a visible effort to suppress them. “Back-Wooster, I c-... can’t feel my legs.”
Zoing announced his arrival at that moment with a loud gasp of “HEEEEEEP!”
Ardsley looked up to spot the construct standing frozen in the doorway. “Zoing, go and get help. His back’s broken. We’ve got to take him to Mechanicsburg.”
“Bink,” Zoing agreed and scurried out.
“No,” Gil breathed. “No, Wooster, don’t-Sun will... he’ll tell Father....”
“I should think your father’s displeasure would be far greater if I didn’t,” Ardsley snapped. “Besides that, you’re my friend, you clod. You can’t expect me to leave you like this.”
Gil didn’t audibly whimper, but again, it took a visible effort.
A sharp intake of breath from the doorway heralded Zoing’s return with an astonished airman with a gold ring in his left ear and his blond hair plaited back in a short pigtail. “What happened?” asked the airman.
“Zingaboom,” said Zoing.
“Accident,” Ardsley clarified slightly. “We need medical transport to the Great Hospital.”
“No,” Gil insisted through clenched teeth. “Can’t leave... Punch... Punch and Judy....”
That startled the airman even more, and he dropped to his knees beside Ardsley. “What’s this about Punch and Judy?”
“C-c-can’t leave ’em-”
“He’s reanimating them,” Ardsley explained quietly. “The baron mustn’t know.”
The airman took a deep breath, then nodded once. “We’ll bring ’em with, then.”
Gil frowned at him. “C-can’t-”
“Beggin’ your pardon, sir, but I do have experience with spark work. I’ll find a way.” The airman paused. “Like to know who I’m ferryin’, though, if I might ask.”
“This is Gilgamesh Wulfenbach,” Ardsley answered, still keeping his voice low. “And he doesn’t want his father to know about his injuries, either.”
The airman nodded slowly. “Understood, sir.”
“I’m his valet, Ardsley Wooster, and you’ve met Zoing. And you are?”
“Airman Third Class Axel Higgs, sir. I’m not rated as a pilot, but if it comes to stealin’ a medical ship, I can fly it.”
Ardsley nodded once. “Good man. Thank you, Higgs. Zoing, go with him, give him all the help he needs.”
Higgs nodded back and left with Zoing at his heels.
“Guess Her... Undying Majesty’ll... be pretty pleased,” Gil gritted out bitterly.
Ardsley felt a headache coming on. “Gil, do us both a favor and shut up.”
“Father’s got... no more heirs... you c’n just... go ahead... kill me now....”
“I am not going to kill you, idiot. And you are not going to die of your injuries, not while I’ve anything to say about it.”
“Nah, g’head... kill the empire... I got... nothin’ left to live for....”
“For the love of Mike, shut up, Gil!”
Gil sighed, closed his eyes, and relaxed slightly, and a tear escaped before he whispered, “’M sorry, Ardsley.”
“I am not letting you die,” Ardsley repeated. “And that’s final.”
“’Kay.”
“So perhaps you can find some other way to let me know you’re still conscious? Reciting pi, say?”
Gil had gotten to about the twenty-fifth decimal of pi when Higgs returned with two medics and a back board, only to leave again following Zoing. The medics got self-pressurizing bandages and small healing engines onto Gil’s open wounds in short order, disregarding his protests, and Ardsley backed away to leave them room to start a blood transfusion and execute the fiddly task of getting Gil onto the back board. Now that Gil wasn’t in danger of bleeding out, they could afford to take time and care, and they did so. At last, however, Gil was safely strapped to the back board and Ardsley was holding the bag of blood and the bag of morphine solution attached to the intravenous port in Gil’s arm, and the medics carried Gil to the nearest hangar bay with a medical ship.
By the time they arrived, so had Zoing and Higgs... who had somehow managed to transfer Punch and Judy to the ship, life support system and all. Ardsley was too relieved to ask questions.
Once the medical ship had left Castle Wulfenbach and Gil had finally succumbed to morphine-induced sleep, Higgs lifted Zoing onto the bed to hold Gil’s hand and pulled Ardsley aside. “What the devil was Master Wulfenbach doing? That clank looked like one from the Wastelands, at least from what I could see of the remains.”
Ardsley sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “He’s... oh, I don’t know. I think he’s trying to avenge Miss Agatha-Lady Heterodyne. At least he was. With a broken back....” He shook his head.
Higgs blinked twice, then lowered his voice even further. “Listen. He’s right that Dr. Sun will report this to the baron. But there’s someplace else in Mechanicsburg we can take him to get help, maybe even better help than at the hospital. Unloading Punch and Judy should create enough of a hullabaloo-let’s you and I take Master Wulfenbach’s stretcher and disappear in the confusion.”
“To take him where?”
“’Fraid you’ll have to trust me there, sir. But I’ve my orders to keep him alive.”
Ardsley’s eyed narrowed. “Orders from whom?”
Higgs’ reply was barely audible: “Someone what knows Miss Agatha’s not dead.”
Only long practice kept Ardsley from reacting outwardly to that statement and all its implications.
Higgs must have seen something in Ardsley’s eyes, though, because he nodded once. “Do we have a deal, sir?”
Ardsley nodded back. “Yes, Mr. Higgs, I believe we do.”
“Light,” Agatha ordered, and the watchcase clank on her shoulder clicked on its light and held on as she crawled under the table in the prop wagon to see what damage Moxana, the beautiful mute clank she’d just met, had asked her to repair. She had just spotted the RvR maker’s mark when:
Ding! Moxana suddenly interrupted, startling Agatha enough that she nearly bumped her head before backing out hurriedly.
“What?” Agatha asked her. “What is it?”
Moxana held up The Device, then placed The Clock over it.
“You... want me to wait to work on you? Why?”
Moxana swept the cards off the table as Master Payne stated, “She looked up just now, as if she heard something.”
Krosp frowned. “I didn’t.”
Moxana shot him a narrow-eyed look and flipped the green baize table surface to reveal a chessboard. But she didn’t set up a standard chess game. Instead she started with two rooks in opposite corners, a grey one at a8 and a cracked white one at h1. Around the grey rook she placed the grey king, a grey knight-and the white queen.
Agatha inhaled sharply as Moxana put a finger on the rook and looked at her. “Castle Wulfenbach.”
Moxana nodded once, then moved the white queen away toward the center of the board. The grey knight followed, only to stop when she laid a black queen in its path.
“Olga,” Agatha interpreted.
Moxana covered the knight with her hand. When she revealed it again, it was a much darker grey.
Agatha’s breath caught, but she nodded. “Go on.”
Moxana moved the knight and the black queen back to the same row as the grey rook and king while shifting the white queen two rows toward the white rook. The black queen she laid between the grey king and rook. But the knight she stood further down the row and surrounded with black pawns. The knight then took each of the pawns in turn... until one pawn came inside his path and knocked him over, breaking the knight in two.
Agatha gasped. “Gil!”
Moxana gingerly lifted the broken knight to rest beside the white rook. Then she looked Agatha in the eye, shook her head, and put the knight in Agatha’s hand. She closed Agatha’s hand over the piece once, then opened it to reveal that the knight was once more whole, though with the join still clearly visible. She then repeated the motion... only this time, the repaired piece that appeared in Agatha’s hand was the white king.
“So... I... need to go to Mechanicsburg to help heal Gil.”
Moxana nodded once.
“And you think I should go now.”
Moxana nodded again.
“And if I don’t?”
Moxana closed Agatha’s hand again and opened it to reveal the broken knight. Then she closed Agatha’s hand once more... and squeezed. Agatha felt the pop as the chess piece shattered.
“No!” Agatha cried. “Gil!”
Moxana pulled out The Lovers from her tarot deck, showed it to Agatha, and tapped her fist with it. Agatha opened her hand again to find the repaired white king. Moxana placed the white queen and rook beside it, closed Agatha’s hand, and again tapped it with The Lovers. When Agatha opened her hand this time, the king and queen were the same, but the rook was now whole.
Agatha struggled to breathe past the tears that were trying to choke her. “We’re... we’re going to Mechanicsburg anyway-”
Moxana put The Clock on top of the pieces in Agatha’s hand. When she took it away again, all three were broken.
“We don’t have time.” Agatha stifled a sob. “If... we....”
Moxana took Agatha’s other hand and placed in it an emerald queen, an amethyst knight, a tiger-eye knight, and an olivine knight. Almost as an afterthought, she added a white pawn.
“Hey!” Krosp objected.
Moxana ignored him and brought Agatha’s hands together, covering them with her own. When she let go, the white king, queen, and rook were whole once more.
Agatha drew a very ragged breath and set down all of the chess pieces, then put her hands around Moxana’s folded ones. “Send word to me when you get to Mechanicsburg. I ought to have taken the castle by then. I’ll repair you then if I can.”
Moxana chimed softly and pulled her hands away as the table surface shifted to reveal a hidden compartment, in which rested a book that she lifted out. Said book was bound in red leather and bore a gilt RvR in the center of the front cover.
Agatha gasped loudly. “Is that-”
“Van Rijn’s notebook,” Master Payne confirmed as Moxana placed the book gently in Agatha’s hands.
Tears started streaming down Agatha’s face as she hugged the book to her chest. “Thank you, Moxana. I’ll take the greatest care of it.”
Moxana placed her hands on Agatha’s cheeks as if to say, I know you will. Then she pulled away and held up The Clock again.
Agatha sniffled and nodded. “Understood. Thank you.”
Moxana folded her hands, bowed her head, and closed her eyes as if shutting down.
“Come, then,” Master Payne said quietly. “We’d best send you on your way as soon as possible.”
Still sniffling, Agatha left the prop wagon and let Master Payne usher her back to the Baba Yaga.
By the time she’d ordered the majority of her little clanks to stay with the circus and Krosp had helped her finish packing, Agatha had mostly gotten her tears under control. She hadn’t wanted to admit it, but she did care for Gil-more than she’d ever cared for Lars, though Lars was nice enough as a colleague-and if she understood Moxana correctly, Gil had gotten himself hurt because of her. Because he thought she was dead. He could die because he thought she was dead. She hadn’t known... she’d never wanted it to come to this.
She still wasn’t sure she should trust him, and she really wasn’t sure she should marry him, Moxana’s message notwithstanding. They barely knew each other. All the same, she couldn’t let him die.
Her thoughts were interrupted by a tap at the door. “Are you ready... Lady Heterodyne?” Master Payne asked quietly.
Agatha drew a deep, bracing breath. “Yes, sir,” she replied, shrugged on her pack, and shouldered her death ray.
Master Payne opened the door but stood to one side to let her out. “We found two horses for your party. That’s all we could spare, but the Jägers assure me they can keep pace just fine.”
Agatha nodded. “Very generous of you. Thank you, Master Payne. And... thank you for everything else, too.”
His large hands closed over her upper arms and squeezed gently. “Take care of yourself, Agatha.”
“I will. See you in Mechanicsburg?”
“We can hope.” He squeezed her arms again and let her go. “I haven’t told the others what’s happening, only that you’re leaving because of an emergency.”
She nodded again. “I guess I’d better say goodbye, then.”
Taking her leave of the rest of the circus was harder than Agatha thought. Countess Marie gave her a warm hug and let her cry on her shoulder for a moment, and Pix promised to model her future portrayals of Lucrezia on Agatha’s as much as possible. Most everyone else at least shook her hand and thanked her for her contributions to the show. Balthazar hugged her leg and promised never to forget her, and Trish pried him off with an apologetic smile. But finally, slowly, she reached the edge of the camp, where the Jägers were waiting in the deepening twilight with the horses and Zeetha.
And Lars.
The green Jäger looked at Agatha, then glanced at Lars, then nodded in the general direction of the prop wagon. Agatha could make a pretty good guess as to what that meant, since it looked like Moxana was one of the Storm King’s Muses. From what Dr. Beetle had said, most sparks would jump at the chance to examine a Muse, and examine would generally end up meaning break. Master Payne hadn’t sounded certain of the circus’ chances of getting through Sturmhalten unscathed, which probably meant he was worried about losing Moxana-more so now that the Jägers and Zeetha would be leaving with Agatha and Krosp. And besides, how fair would it be to Lars to bring him along if... if he was... interested in Agatha and she was going back to Gil?
Agatha took a deep breath and looked Lars in the eye. “No, Lars. I can’t let you come.”
He frowned. “Agatha-”
“No. I’ll have the Jägers and Zeetha and Krosp. I’ll be perfectly safe with them. You need to stay with the circus to protect Moxana when you go through Sturmhalten.”
“But... but....”
“I told you,” Zeetha interrupted. “Besides, the show can’t lose Bill and Lucrezia both at once. You really want Abner playing your part?”
That got a chuckle out of Lars. “No, I suppose not. But Agatha-”
“I’ll be careful,” Agatha promised.
Lars sighed heavily, and his shoulders slumped. “All right. I’ll... see you in Mechanicsburg.” Then he kissed her cheek and went back to the fire in the center of the camp.
“Ve better go, Miztress,” said the green Jäger.
Agatha swallowed hard and nodded. The purple Jäger helped her onto one horse while Zeetha swung into the saddle of the other, and the blond Jäger set Krosp carefully on top of the bedroll behind Agatha’s saddle. They didn’t have a lantern, but that was probably best for now, and she’d heard that Jägers could see in the dark perfectly well.
“Diz vay,” the purple Jäger said then and started off into the forest.
Agatha and Zeetha followed at a walk. The blond Jäger fell back to walk behind them, and the green Jäger stationed himself at Agatha’s side.
“Zo, Miztress, ve hefn’t hed a chence to tok,” he said as they passed the edge of the clearing. “Hy iz Dimo. Dot’s Maxim,” he added, pointing to the purple Jäger, “und dot’s Oggie,” meaning the one in the rear.
“Nice to meet you,” Agatha said. “But forgive me-why aren’t you with the baron?”
“Ve vos detached. Zome uv us volunteered to keep lookink for hyu poppa und hyu onkel or deir heir. Dot vay de rest could go vit de baron, help him und keep his protection, und ve could say ve hef not abandoned de Heterodynes.”
“Surprised you’re admitting that in front of me,” Zeetha remarked, one eyebrow raised.
Dimo returned the raised eyebrow. “Vill hyu betray her?”
“No. She’s my zumil. I’m here to help her.”
Dimo smiled. “Denn iz no problem, iz dere?”
Zeetha smiled back. “Not if Oggie stops sneaking up behind me.”
“Hey!” Oggie objected. “Dese iz prime goot sneekin-op moves!”
“HO-kay,” Maxim interrupted. “Ve iz far enuf from de zirkus. Ve pick up de pace now.”
And by ‘pick up the pace,’ he evidently meant gallop. The party ran flat out through the dark for a good ten miles before Maxim called a halt for the night, at which point the horses were winded and Agatha’s head was spinning. Dimo helped her down, and Zeetha and Oggie made camp while Maxim saw to the horses. Krosp caught a couple of mimmoths for himself as Agatha started supper.
“How long do you expect it to take us to get to Mechanicsburg?” she asked Dimo as he cautiously started a small fire.
“Heh, vell,” he replied, “dot depends. If ve go over de mountains, mebbe two veeks. But ve know dese mountains. Und ve iz not vit de circus now. Ve ken tek shortcuts-under de mountains.”
“Vit de horses, might be a bit tricky,” Maxim said, joining them. “Bot if hyu iz tinkink ov dot vun tonnel....”
“Yah, dot gets uz past Sturmhalten in mebbe two days.”
“Shoo, ve ken tek de horses through dot vun. Iz mebbe two more days from dere. Und denn....”
“Denn,” Oggie chimed in, “ve goes through de Sneaky Gate und takes her to Mamma Gkika’s. Hif Mamma dun know vere to go, she knows de pipple to esk.”
Agatha frowned. “What’s Mamma Gkika’s?”
“It’s a bar,” Zeetha answered.
“Iz more den dot,” Dimo said. “Mamma iz von of uz, a general-und also a medic.”
Zeetha raised both eyebrows this time. “Lars said the Jägers won’t let anyone but a Heterodyne work on them when they’re injured.”
Dimo nodded. “Iz true.”
Agatha gulped. “You mean... there might be Jägers at this bar who need my help?”
Maxim reached across Dimo and patted Agatha’s arm. “Iz no hurry, Miztress. Some of us haff been vaiting a long time. Ve ken vait anodder veek or two. Hyu tek care ov hyu boyfriend first, und denn fix de kestle.”
“I... I’m sure I can fix the castle, but... I don’t have any hands-on medical training.” Agatha bit her lip. “Does... would you let Gil work on you, or at least help me, if he were my husband?”
Everybody else looked startled at that, and Krosp leaned forward. “I thought you didn’t want to marry him.”
Agatha ducked her head and poked at the fire. “I’m not sure. But I am sure I’m going to need the help. There’s only so much I can do on my own. And he did... well, he didn’t exactly ask me, but he did want to run off and get married after we dealt with the hive engine. And now he’s hurt because of me. I mean, I know I hardly know him, but it’s not like I have many options, and....”
“Ve eat first, hey?” Oggie suggested. “Und hyu sleep on it a few days. Hyu dun hef to decide right now. Hy vos married vunce, long time ago; iz not zumtink to do in a hurry.”
Agatha blinked at him. “You were?”
“Ho yah, Hy gotz descendants!”
“Und von’t shot op about dem,” Dimo grumbled.
Maxim snickered.
“Oh, but I’d like to hear,” Agatha said. “I’m afraid I don’t know very much about Jägers.”
So as they ate, Oggie regaled them with stories of his married life and of his children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and one great-great-grandson that he knew of-this last being Philbert Oleo, a slightly disreputable and not very talented storyteller of whom Oggie fondly disapproved. Having read a couple of his books that were in Gil’s library, Agatha couldn’t disagree. Then after the meal, Zeetha insisted that Agatha get some sleep right away so as to be rested for training in the morning. Agatha was too tired to argue, so she laid out her bedroll while Zeetha and the Jägers divided the watch.
She may have imagined Krosp curling up possessively on her chest just as she drifted off, but she didn’t think so.
“Drinkateee,” Zoing insisted.
Gil didn’t even open his eyes. “No.”
A cup pushed against his lips. “Drinkateee.”
Gil sighed and tried to turn away. “Zoing, how many ti-”
Zoing planted one foot on either side of Gil’s head, immobilizing it, and poured the tea into Gil’s mouth in mid-word. Gil couldn’t summon the energy to do anything but swallow. Once the tea was all down his throat, Zoing made a small noise of triumph and backed off-judging from the sound, to stand on the nightstand instead.
“Just let me die,” Gil groaned. He’d lost count of how many times he’d said that the last few days since waking up... wherever here was, this place that smelled of beer and blood and Jägerkin. Everything below his waist was still numb and lifeless. “There’s no point in going on. Everyone’s gone. Father hates me. Agatha’s dead. And now I can’t even work. I’ve got nothing left to live for.”
Zoing made a distressed noise but didn’t try to force any more tea into him.
“-ever so glad you’re here,” Gil suddenly heard Wooster saying urgently outside the door. “He’s in a bad way, refusing treatment-”
The door opened, and someone rushed to his bedside, smelling of horse and sweat and... it... it couldn’t be....
Hardly daring to hope, Gil opened his eyes... and gasped at who was sitting down on the edge of his bed. “Agatha?!”
“Yes,” Agatha replied, bursting into tears. “Oh, Gil, I’m so sorry; I came as soon as I heard.”
“Agatha, you’re... you’re....” He reached up to touch her arm, her hair, her tear-damp cheek. “You’re alive.”
She covered his hand with her own and nodded. “I’m sorry I had to trick you like that. I never meant to hurt you.”
“You’re... you’re real, you’re not dead, you....” He pulled her glasses off and handed them to Zoing before caressing her face again with both hands. “You’re alive.”
She nodded and smiled with a laugh that was mostly a sob. And he pulled her down and kissed her like his life depended on it.
At some point he vaguely registered his necklace breaking. He didn’t care. She was here, she was real, she was kissing him back. Nothing else mattered. She was alive, and he could live again.
Eventually, they had to come up for air, and she practically collapsed against his chest and nestled her head under his chin. “Gil,” she sighed, resting her left hand on his right shoulder, and he felt the gas connector back on her ring finger, where it belonged.
“Oh, Agatha, Agatha,” he returned, not able to be coherent in the slightest. His arms were around her, his left hand tangled in her hair and his right thumb hooked through her belt loop. And no matter what anyone who’d known him in Paris might have thought, he was perfectly happy for things not to go any further right now.
She was alive.
-And he was still paralyzed.
He sighed. “Agatha, there’s something I have to tell you. Why I’m here.”
“Mamma Gkika told me,” she said, rubbing his shoulder a little. “Wooster said you’ve been refusing treatment.”
He buried his nose in her hair. “I’m sorry. Stupid of me.”
“Mamma said she immobilized your back, though, and she’s... there’s a formula. It’s brewed for Jägers, but she thinks it might work on you. It’s called battledraught. Most of your external wounds have already healed, but there were more internal injuries than just the spinal one. It... should get you back on your feet in a matter of hours.”
He smiled. “All right, I’ll stop being an idiot and take the stuff. Better that than asking you to marry half a man,” he added, moving his shoulder slightly to indicate that he’d felt the gas connector.
“Gil, I... about that. Once we get you well, we need to repair the castle so it can recognize me. But when that’s done... I can’t give up being the Heterodyne to become a Wulfenbach.”
He frowned. “Does that mean you don’t want to marry me?”
“No, I do. It’s just....” She huffed. “I’m not sure there’s a way to say this that’s not awkward.”
“Well, say it awkwardly, then.”
“There are lots of things I need your help with. But the only way I can let you help...” Her hand tightened around his shoulder as she took a deep breath and finished, “is if you’re a Heterodyne.”
His breath hitched, and his arms tightened around her.
“Is... will that be....”
“Agatha,” he interrupted, “I used to dream of being a Heterodyne.”
“What?” she gasped, pulling back to look him in the eye.
He nodded. “When I was a kid... I don’t know what might have happened, but I had no idea who my family was. Father hid me for a long time and told me my name was Gil Holzfäller, but he wouldn’t tell me anything about myself. And... well, you know what the school was like.”
She nodded slowly. “Yes, I do.”
“Finally I convinced a friend of mine to help me break into the records vault to find out what the baron was hiding. We found some stupid story about my being the son of a spark who’d been killed by his own creation, and I was so upset I ran off... straight into a Jäger, who took me to Father, who told me the truth.”
“Oh.”
“Then they caught my friend, and I had to tell Father he’d been spying. He was expelled.”
“Oh, Gil.”
He drew a ragged breath. “For a couple of years after that, I still thought life would have been simpler if I’d turned out to be a Heterodyne.”
“I can see why. So... you don’t mind being... well. My consort?”
“Heh,” he huffed with a smile and caressed her cheek. “I’d do anything for you. Even if it means giving up the empire. I never really wanted it anyway.”
She kissed him before sitting up. “Well, then, I suppose we’d better start by getting you back on your feet.”
“Where did you learn to kiss like that, by the way?”
She blushed a little. “Well, the circus was a Heterodyne show, and... I ended up playing my mother.”
“-Ah.”
“I... kind of think he might have been more serious about it than I was.”
“Kind of?!” interrupted an amused female voice from the doorway, and Gil turned his head to see a girl about his age with long green hair and a pair of swords lounging against the doorframe. “Zumil, you have no idea the effect you had on Lars, do you?”
“Well, it hardly matters now,” Agatha shot back.
The green-haired girl raised an eyebrow. “Clearly.”
Agatha rolled her eyes. “Oh, you’re impossible, Zeetha.”
“Zumil,” Gil repeated, searching his memory for where he’d heard that name before. “As in ko-... kolee-dok-zumil?”
Zeetha stared at him and straightened.
“That is the phrase, right?”
“Yes,” Zeetha replied, coming toward the bed as Zoing handed Agatha her glasses. “How did you know it?”
Gil blinked. “My father once said he and my mother were kolee-dok-zumil. But it... I think it was a slip of the tongue. I asked him about it, and he wouldn’t explain. He wouldn’t even translate.”
“Ashtara preserve us,” she breathed, wide-eyed. “Gil, has your father said anything to you-anything at all-about Skifander?”
Gil shook his head. “Not that I recall. Why?”
“That’s where Zeetha’s from,” Agatha explained. “Sorry, this is Zeetha, Daughter of Chump. Zeetha, Gilgamesh Wulfenbach.”
Zeetha nodded slowly. “It’s nice to finally meet you... brother.”
“Brother?!” Gil and Agatha chorused.
Zeetha nodded again and came around the bed to sit on Gil’s other side. “One of the reasons I came to Europa was to look for Chump. He disappeared with my twin brother when we were only a month old. And yes, he was my mother’s zumil. She taught him everything-all the ancient warrior disciplines we hardly ever teach to outsiders.”
Gil frowned. “There were... things Father taught me that were never taught to the other students, things like... tricks for staying awake for days at a time-”
“Yes. That would be one of them.”
Gil studied her face for a moment. “Zeetha... where is Skifander?”
Zeetha sighed and shook her head. “I don’t know. I came down with a terrible fever on the way here, and I’ve been trying to find my way back for three years. Agatha was the first person I’d met who’d ever heard of Skifander.”
Gil blew the air out of his cheeks. “I’m sure Father will know.”
“Yes. And I look forward to getting to ask him.”
Just then Wooster walked in and stopped short just inside the doorway. “Oh, really, Master Gil,” he chided.
Gil laughed for the first time in months. It felt like freedom.
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