Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters

Sep 04, 2012 12:39

I just watched the trailer for Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters and part of me thinks it looks like a fun action movie but the other part of me is shaking my head in disdain. I mean the premise is hokey as all hell and the dialogue seems wooden. I saw in an interview that Jeremy Renner said he had no problem doing action films as long as the ( Read more... )

jeremy fucking renner, hansel and gretel: witch hunters, rant

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Comments 8

anuna_81 September 4 2012, 19:54:51 UTC
Now I'm afraid to watch that trailer! LOL. Just kidding. The movie might turn out to be nice fun without too much depth. Which is nice, now and then, and I guess almost every actor or actress do films like these from time to time (heh! some do that ALL the time).

Oh, Hollywood fail of fails. How they refuse to acknowledge the fact that people age and get older. *facepalmfaceaplmfacepalm*

EDIT: okay I watched the trailer and - WHY JEREMY WHYYYYY! LOL. I kept cracking up, because this just doesn't look like something I could take seriously ....

.... but at least we'll have pretty Renner!icons and graphics. And crackfic.

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chrisfaithalin September 4 2012, 20:09:11 UTC
I know! It's one of those films where I'm not exactly sure how they got anybody to fund it or people to act in it. The premise to me seemed ridiculous but I just kept telling myself to wait for the trailer to judge. But no, the trailer is exactly what I expected this film to be.

But as you pointed out, we will have plenty of graphics and fics to comfort ourselves. Although this movie will put a wrench in the theory that all of Jeremy Renner's characters are really Barton undercover. This one is more of a stretch, lol.

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anuna_81 September 4 2012, 20:17:12 UTC
Weeeeeel, imagine this.

Hot, humid evening in some equatorial country (doesn't matter where, or which continent, all I care is that it's hot and humid!). Clint is asleep and Natasha is awake (seriously, there's only one bed, and it's too hot to share it with a partner who keeps tossing around, because he's too hot, and let's not even mention he is like a heater. Um. Anyway). Natasha distracts herself watching Clint sleep - shirtless, sweaty, wearing only boxer shorts - and he is all kinds of pretty, and his chest is so nice, and hmmm, his back isn't all that bad either -

SERIOUSLY NATASHA GET A GRIP YOU'RE PARTNERS.

But! He suddenly wakes with an unmanly sound and starts shouting No! No! Noooo! and she asks him what's going on, and he's like "I DREAMED I WAS TRAPPED IN VAN HELSINGED FAIRYTALE WHERE I HAD TO HUNT WITHCES" and Natasha is like, "OMG, the heat is messing up with your head as well!"

"OMG NATASHA WHY WEREN'T YOU THERE AS WELL??!"

Okay, that was a lame attempt of crack!

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chrisfaithalin September 4 2012, 20:30:52 UTC
Oh my God this is awesome if nothing else for shirtless Clint. I mean if a story is in trouble, I don't care what story, just throw in some shirtless Clint and it automatically improves the story. This definitely a plausible-ish premise. This story is probably of a higher quality than the movie is going to be.

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robin99 September 5 2012, 00:01:15 UTC
Your rant describes what I was thinking after watching this terrible-ish trailer.

I'm hoping the trailer is just dumb but they did use actual lines from the movie so I might be too optimistic :(

btw I came via your post at be_compromised

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chrisfaithalin September 5 2012, 00:20:01 UTC
I'm glad I'm not the only one hesitant about that movie. I feel weird that I felt so strongly about a movie just after the trailer. I agree that I hope the trailer was just bad. Sometimes they pick the worse lines from the film, or what they think will get people to go see something. I remember so vividly after seeing the trailer for The Town I wasn't interested in seeing the film because I thought it looked so melodramatic and cliched. I finally get around to watching, thank you very much Jeremy Renner, and I was blown away. I'm just hoping it's something like that. I'm not expecting an Oscar worthy movie, but I would like to have fun and be entertained.

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robin99 September 5 2012, 01:19:21 UTC
Like me, you probably had strong feels because you were hoping this movie wouldn't be as bad as it sounds :/

This should have been silly fun, more The Brothers Grimm, but not as unintentionally campy as Van Helsing. I guess we'll just have to make do with watching Jeremy and Gemma kick ass, which the movie may or may not mess up anyway with those horrific machine guns.

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