Comments | chrisear: Fifth OCSFC!

chrisear

Fifth OCSFC!

Jul 06, 2009 08:08

title: Oops

sentence assignment (who you're writing for): For mel39,
Kirsten finds an opened letter in Ryan's room that worries and upsets her.

rating (if applicable): none

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oops, fifth ocsfc

Comments 13

beachtree July 7 2009, 02:46:37 UTC

A guilty conscience is a very dangerous thing, isn't it, Kirsten ( ... )

60schic July 7 2009, 04:33:41 UTC

Very nice twist. I didn't see it coming. I can see Frank being somewhat the concerned father to an 8 year old Ryan so his letter makes alot of sense.

I can also see fresh-out-of-rehab Kirsten reading the letter out of her insecurities. I hope you continue so we can see how she copes with the guilt. That sense of betrayal stings, doesn't it Kiki? Now you know how Ryan felt at the intervention.

And of course Ryan would use practically the same words he said to Dawn in The Gamble. It's not in him to withhold forgiveness.

mel39 July 7 2009, 10:20:39 UTC

Very clever! I couldn't THINK why Ryan would have said he hated the Cohens and then it all became clear (except to Kirsten, lol) - a great story - and you picked my favourite of the three sentences I submitted, thank you!

famous99 July 7 2009, 15:30:27 UTC

A great S3 twist. It actually makes me sadder that Ryan is reliving is bad foster care situation in the Cohen's home.

oc_gambit2 July 8 2009, 00:22:26 UTC

Based on canon, you've told a sadly plausible tale....and OC entirely aside, a classic example of human foibles: lack of boundaries, jumping to conclusions, losing one's temper, misunderstandings in one tangled layer after another. You make it suspenseful, very believable, as they narrowly avoid walking away from each other and burning bridges that cannot be repaired.

I love that you don't try to neatly wrap it all up with a happy ending. A family conflict of this proportion would take considerable time, patience, and effort to heal. *not so sure about a Seth-style grand gesture- but hey, look what youve done so well so far- I'd give it a read!* You leave me wondering if any of them will sustain the energy to maintain the effort. A great stand-alone....but if you feel like following this muse a little further, bravo to that as well.