Fic: Silently I'm Yours (American Idol)
Title: Silently I’m Yours
Author: Chosenfire
Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN. Adam and Kris own themselves and according to my favorite part of their fandom each other.
Fandom: American Idol
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Slash
Prompt: #150 - taciturn at tamingthemuse
Character/Pairing: Kris/Adam
Summary: Katy wants a divorce, Adam asks why, so Kris tells him.
Author’s Notes: Beta'd by blue_icy_rose.
Kris could feel Adam’s eyes on him as he let his body sink into the couch, the cushions surrounding his weary frame. His eyes closed and he dragged a hand up to rub at his eyes, feeling the burn still there, the moisture that still stained his skin.
“Kris?” Adam’s voice was tentative, gentle, and Kris balled his other hand into a fist at his side, squeezing it tightly, trying to hold onto emotions he couldn’t afford to let go of. He could hear the concern in Adam’s voice but he didn’t know how he was supposed to answer it, how he was supposed to tell him. He had dragged Adam from his bed at 2:00 in the morning to pick him up from the airport so he owed him something.
“Katy wants a divorce,” Kris whispered softly, the words not tearing at him nearly as much as he knew they should. It should hurt more, they were supposed to have been building a life together, a forever kind of thing and he had let that slip away so easily.
It should have hurt more; the thing that hurt was that it didn’t.
Losing Katy wasn’t what hurt, it’s what came after, being honest, not hiding. That was what terrified him.
“Why?” Adam’s voice held horror and shock and the hand he placed on Kris’s back was warm and solid as he moved closer to pull him into a side hug. Kris sank into Adam’s side, his eyes still closed and the words caught in his throat, the truth, one he’d been avoiding for a long time, one he had let slip into silence.
Kris swallowed and pulled away, sinking back further and shifting to look at Adam.
His voice was soft, hoarse with honesty and fear. “Because I’m in love with you.”
Adam’s eyes widened and silence took him this time, making him taciturn, and Kris could feel him pulling away, closing it off. He could see it happening in front of him and the words rushed out of his mouth tumbling over one another.
“I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry, I wish I didn’t but I do, I wish I wished I didn’t. I love you, I can’t help loving you, everything about you, I’m so sorry, I can leave, I’m sure I can find a hotel.” His voice choked up as he searched for some way to make this alright, to take back the words he should have never said.
“Kris.” Adam’s voice broke through his tirade and Kris stuttered to a stop, feeling the way his eyes burned again and the way his heart thundered in his chest. It was like a panic attack only not, because a panic attack he knew how to handle, this, this was losing his best friend and he didn’t know how to handle that.
“Kris,” Adam muttered again, pulling Kris out of his thoughts and shock went through Kris as he felt Adam’s hand cup his cheek, all gentleness gone as he leaned forward and pressed his lips to his, the kiss hard and unyielding and Kris stopped panicking and let himself go, Adam holding him up.
Adam’s hand moved from his cheek to curl around the back of his neck and pull him closer, his teeth nipping at Kris’s bottom lip. He drew away, a smile on his lips and his forehead pressed to Kris’s. “You’re not going anywhere.”
Relief flooded him and Kris nodded, his throat tight. “Yeah.”
Author: Chosenfire
Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN. Adam and Kris own themselves and according to my favorite part of their fandom each other.
Fandom: American Idol
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Slash
Prompt: #150 - taciturn at tamingthemuse
Character/Pairing: Kris/Adam
Summary: Katy wants a divorce, Adam asks why, so Kris tells him.
Author’s Notes: Beta'd by blue_icy_rose.
Kris could feel Adam’s eyes on him as he let his body sink into the couch, the cushions surrounding his weary frame. His eyes closed and he dragged a hand up to rub at his eyes, feeling the burn still there, the moisture that still stained his skin.
“Kris?” Adam’s voice was tentative, gentle, and Kris balled his other hand into a fist at his side, squeezing it tightly, trying to hold onto emotions he couldn’t afford to let go of. He could hear the concern in Adam’s voice but he didn’t know how he was supposed to answer it, how he was supposed to tell him. He had dragged Adam from his bed at 2:00 in the morning to pick him up from the airport so he owed him something.
“Katy wants a divorce,” Kris whispered softly, the words not tearing at him nearly as much as he knew they should. It should hurt more, they were supposed to have been building a life together, a forever kind of thing and he had let that slip away so easily.
It should have hurt more; the thing that hurt was that it didn’t.
Losing Katy wasn’t what hurt, it’s what came after, being honest, not hiding. That was what terrified him.
“Why?” Adam’s voice held horror and shock and the hand he placed on Kris’s back was warm and solid as he moved closer to pull him into a side hug. Kris sank into Adam’s side, his eyes still closed and the words caught in his throat, the truth, one he’d been avoiding for a long time, one he had let slip into silence.
Kris swallowed and pulled away, sinking back further and shifting to look at Adam.
His voice was soft, hoarse with honesty and fear. “Because I’m in love with you.”
Adam’s eyes widened and silence took him this time, making him taciturn, and Kris could feel him pulling away, closing it off. He could see it happening in front of him and the words rushed out of his mouth tumbling over one another.
“I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry, I wish I didn’t but I do, I wish I wished I didn’t. I love you, I can’t help loving you, everything about you, I’m so sorry, I can leave, I’m sure I can find a hotel.” His voice choked up as he searched for some way to make this alright, to take back the words he should have never said.
“Kris.” Adam’s voice broke through his tirade and Kris stuttered to a stop, feeling the way his eyes burned again and the way his heart thundered in his chest. It was like a panic attack only not, because a panic attack he knew how to handle, this, this was losing his best friend and he didn’t know how to handle that.
“Kris,” Adam muttered again, pulling Kris out of his thoughts and shock went through Kris as he felt Adam’s hand cup his cheek, all gentleness gone as he leaned forward and pressed his lips to his, the kiss hard and unyielding and Kris stopped panicking and let himself go, Adam holding him up.
Adam’s hand moved from his cheek to curl around the back of his neck and pull him closer, his teeth nipping at Kris’s bottom lip. He drew away, a smile on his lips and his forehead pressed to Kris’s. “You’re not going anywhere.”
Relief flooded him and Kris nodded, his throat tight. “Yeah.”