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[chocolatepot]

Work last night was awful. First of all, having to wash my hands every time I blew my nose took up a BUNCH of time so I didn't get to do everything I meant to get to. Then I had a massive (like almost to the point of nausea) headache from my sinuses combined with my sleep debt - I'd had three nights on cold medicine where for some reason I woke up

Comments

[author_by_night]

It sucks, but honestly, I think you do have to just take what you can get - not you personally, but the universal you. You're not the only friend having trouble finding full time museum jobs and historical societies. I thought I'd find a job at a magazine - no. The big ones are super competitive (and in New York and other places I am nowhere near), and the small local ones (that I'd hoped to write for) seem to be freelance or two people running the show

[chocolatepot]

But it's not even that I can't do what I love, it's that I've been working toward this in one way or another since I was about 8. It feels like considering/going through a divorce because it's been pretty much everything for me - especially around 2008-2009, when HP fandom stopped being my hobby. And the thing is, if I'm working a 40hr week and not trying to get hired by a museum for an underpaid temporary position anymore, I'm not going to keep researching and blogging as a hobby, I'm probably going to bake and knit instead. Even though I enjoy doing it, it takes a lot of energy that stems partly from my ambition

[author_by_night]

Oh... I'm sorry. *Hugs again*

[chocolatepot]

*hugs*

[lavinialavender]

*hugs* I'm so sorry. I have no idea how I'd be holding up, in your place.

[rose_bertin]

I'm so so sorry honey. My heart broke for you when I saw last night that you didn't get the job. I know just how much it hurts and I wish I could be there to give you a hug and a bottle of wine and tell you everything is going to be OK

[chocolatepot]

Thank you thank you so much.

It's not just that I didn't get this job, though, it's that I've only ever gotten one (museum) job in the past three years, and I got it mainly because it was described as a paid internship and they expected to get someone just out of undergrad, so I was like a bonus. And I'm young, but I'm aging out of the "acceptable to live really poor while putting in the time to get the better job" period, I think.

But I haven't totally let go of the dream!