Comments | chocoholic_90: Punishment, Chapter 2

chocoholic_90

Punishment, Chapter 2

May 09, 2010 19:00

Title: Punishment
Author: ( Read more... )

pairing: kradam

Comments 23

mooquackingcow May 10 2010, 00:34:34 UTC

*FLAIL* Awesome~! I can't wait for this to continue~ x3

(^___^) kradamlover23 May 10 2010, 00:48:47 UTC

ok, when i sae chapter FINALLY was posted (it seemed like forever since ch 1 was posted) i gasped, squealed, then flailed my arms like a little girl. THIS IS AMAAAAZING!!! You really need more in your chapters, though. i feel more tortured than adam does, waiting for the next chapter. please post ch 3 soon, or i will die. and you dont want a fan of your works to die, do you? i thought not. so anyway... I WANT MOAR!!!

fobsessed54 May 10 2010, 03:15:30 UTC

HOLY SHIT HELLO NEW KINK OF MINE!! lol

chocoholic_90 May 10 2010, 03:21:23 UTC

what part? just curious.

fobsessed54 May 10 2010, 14:05:14 UTC

umm....all of it? the trust, the power, everything! lol this entire story is just hot :-D

thrace_adams May 10 2010, 04:14:18 UTC

*deep breath* I was really thinking about this and at first I wasn't going to comment and then I kept thinking about it and I just have to. I've been really enjoying this story, - the care and tenderness between them has been really nice (yes there can be care and tenderness in a 'scene' and you showed that very well) and was really enjoying this chapter up until the last bit when Kris told Adam he couldn't safeword...a good Dom would NEVER say that to a sub. The whole scene is built on trust and for a Dom to tell his Sub that he can't safeword..especially if there's already some problems with trust...just doesn't ring true to me. That really threw me out of the story and made me uncomfortable. That all said, I'm still anxious to read the next part.

chocoholic_90 May 10 2010, 13:18:03 UTC

Itotally understand. Thank you. :)

thrace_adams May 10 2010, 13:23:37 UTC

Thanks, I always hesitate to offer criticism because I never know how the writer is going to take it. Being a writer myself, it can be very hard to get any kind of criticism. Reading the comment below mine from the OP gives me a better understanding and makes it a bit easier to read. However, I think maybe adding a dub/con warning would also help give the reader an idea that normal d/s rules are going to be bent.

Again, still looking forward to the next part.

chocoholic_90 May 10 2010, 22:19:02 UTC

You can crit, I can take it positively. I will add that warning :) Thank you for reading.

dreamsofspike May 10 2010, 04:25:21 UTC

i can understand what the commenter above is saying, because if this was a real Dom/sub arrangement, that would be totally not of the good :(

however, as the OP of the prompt who happens to really *like* stories where the power dynamic is a little twisted and *not* healthy and good... *ahem*... I'm kinda loving it... i love adam being placed in that situation where he has to choose between doing something he *really* doesn't want to, and losing kris completely...

anyways, looooved this entry, love, and looking forward to the next one :)

chocoholic_90 May 10 2010, 13:19:35 UTC

Thank you. Glad you liking! Okay, Collateral Damage is like th best fic I've read in the AI fandom - amazing. :)

dreamsofspike May 18 2010, 06:09:57 UTC

where's more??? *wheedling and begging*

pleeease don't abandon this!!!

*huge puppy eyes* D: