Punishment, Chapter 1

May 08, 2010 21:47

Title: Punishment
Author: Read more... )

pairing: kradam

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Comments 33

dreamsofspike May 9 2010, 03:21:26 UTC
hehe my music i'm listening to at the moment is the same as yours, btw.. :) i'm addicted to that song :P

okay... now to your story...

love, this is amazing so far... just exactly what i was hoping for, and yes, i am the OP of this prompt :) i love how dominating and strong kris is, and how accepting of that adam is... i loved every moment of this first entry and absolutely can't wait for more of it!! soooo good :)

*hugs*
DoS

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chocoholic_90 May 9 2010, 05:26:58 UTC
I know its an epic song, amazing. his vocals and the lyrics just blow my mind.

Does a stupid jig, I'm so glad you like it! I was very unsure about it and btw, i absolutely adore your stories, you need to update Collateral Damage asap! Im dying! On the story, more is coming soon i promise :)

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dreamsofspike May 9 2010, 05:40:53 UTC
thanx so much :) *Hugs* i'll be updating both my kradam wips (Collateral Damage and Second Best) on Monday :) sooo looking forward to your update :)

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lmichelle599 May 9 2010, 19:24:22 UTC

*dances*

Sorry to interrupt. Off to give feedback.

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PLEASE lushlurelove May 9 2010, 03:29:40 UTC
PLEASE, More. I need more now! I would love another update asap. i love these things.

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cyrtanthus May 9 2010, 04:27:39 UTC
Very good.

Okay I'm going to be a punctuation nazi for a second. When a character is speaking, and they move on to another paragraph, you don't put an end quote for each paragraph. You start with opening quotes, write your first paragraph, no end quote, enter, open quote, next paragraph, etc. You only put your end quote when they are finished speaking, or someone else cuts them off and starts speaking. Example:

“I came here today, Adam, to surprise you, to take care of your needs. Imagine my surprise when I entered the theater and saw a bunch of rabid fangirls stroking you - touching my property. Imagine my surprise when I saw that you weren’t moving - weren’t stopping them.” <<-- Right there, that end quote shouldn't be there ( ... )

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kradamlover23 May 9 2010, 04:40:04 UTC
lol i was fixed on that too. it bugged me :D

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chocoholic_90 May 9 2010, 05:29:02 UTC
Oh, its totally cool be a grammar/punctuation nazi, i need to know these things!!! :) I will take a note of it! thank you!

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tommyglitter May 9 2010, 12:44:37 UTC
I'm finding I could learn a lot from you. Thanks for being a punctuation Nazi and posting it! :)

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kradamlover23 May 9 2010, 04:41:10 UTC
MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE !!!!!

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thrace_adams May 9 2010, 04:56:21 UTC
Very creative beginning.

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