Time For Us, NC-17, Jared/Jensen

Sep 03, 2009 20:17

Title: Time For Us
Pairing: Jared/Jensen (AU)
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 14,634
Disclaimer: Unfortunately neither Jared nor Jensen belong to me. All original characters do. This is not meant to offend, nor is it for profit. It is for fun only.
Warning: MPreg, Bondage, Hurt/Bottom Jared - by popular demand!

Summary: Jensen’s a busy actor. Jared would describe him as a workaholic.
Jared hardly sees his husband these days, except over the top of a script, and he’s starting to feel pretty lonely. But will a vacation at a friend’s ranch bring about a change in the erstwhile Ackles, especially when Jared is seriously injured in a shooting incident?

A/Notes:This is a sort of sequel to Time and Tide, though it has a very different feel to it, mainly because Jared comes across a bit younger, but it can be read as a stand alone fic.

Many, many heartfelt thanks to my beta Devon99 for all her hard work and patience! And to Blueeyedliz for her encouragement.



Time For Us

“Jen?”

“Uhuh?” Jensen replied, distractedly.

Jared barely repressed a sigh, knowing it wouldn’t do any good. Already there was a tinge of annoyance to Jenson’s tone, which meant another full blown row would erupt if Jared didn’t drop it.

“Nothing.”

I’ll have to tell him later.

Heart bursting with excitement, but not wanting to reveal his news under a cloud, Jared got up to leave.

When Jensen looked up from the new script, Jared was shuffling from the room, shoulders slumped in defeat.

Shit.

He scrubbed a hand over his face.

Jensen knew he hadn’t been paying much attention to Jared of late, but the countless number of movie deals that rolled in after their marriage six months ago had been hard to resist. Jared wasn’t much interested in acting these days, preferring to spend his time in front of an easel, or playing house husband. He’d already sold some significant pieces to a fairly prestigious gallery in New York, but over the last few days the guy had been pretty distracted.

Excited, now that Jensen thought about it, except, right now Jared just looked depressed and worried.

Sighing and dumping the script down on the kitchen table, Jensen decided some strong coffee was in order.

I’ll talk to him later.

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Jared was lying in bed, eyes watching the bedroom door through the darkness. He’d retired hours ago but still no sign of Jensen.

He said it was good script. Maybe he’s just lost track of time again.

But some nights Jensen didn’t come to bed at all. Jared wouldn’t even remember the last time they had sex if it wasn’t for a certain precious little life growing inside him. Swallowing nervously, Jared wondered how his husband would take the news. They hadn’t discussed having kids; the subject had never come up, but Jared loved the idea of a big family.

This was the best thing to ever have happened to him, and he was dying to share the news with Jensen. But the distance between them seemed to be growing all the time, and Jared had no idea how to close the gap. A baby might make or break them.

But... what if he just doesn’t love me anymore? Maybe we’re just cruising along right now ‘cos it’s convenient for him, after all, getting married to a guy seems to have boosted his career.

Rolling over and pressing a hand protectively over his belly, he fought back tears.

Oh God! Supposing he doesn’t want a baby? Supposing he doesn’t want me around anymore when he finds out?

He couldn’t help it. The sobs burst out, his body shaking with fear and sorrow. Jared stopped fighting and let go. Tears streaming down his face, dripping off his chin and dampening the pillow, Jared cried himself to sleep that night.

He didn’t hear the bedroom door opening, didn’t feel Jensen slide in behind and wrapping him in his warm arms.

Jensen felt the kid’s tears drying on the pillow, and sighed sadly.

Jared had become so emotional of late, Jensen’s head was spinning.

Ok.

We need some time away.

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Jared stood in the kitchen doorway sniffing appreciatively, then stumbled into the room when he realised he wasn’t dreaming. The delicious smells were real; toast, poached eggs, smoked bacon and fresh fruit juice, all mixed with the rich aroma of Colombian coffee.

Thank God I can still smell coffee without throwing up.

Thankfully, his husband had been so pre-occupied with his work of late, he hadn’t noticed Jared’s frequent trips to the bathroom, nor heard the sound of copious vomiting.

Pushing that thought to the back of his mind, Jared eyed the laden breakfast bar warily. Was this for him? Or were they expecting guests?

A loud grumbling in his stomach protested that it didn’t give a damn who the food was for, and would he mind just stuffing his face, already?

Before he could move, however, Jared found himself drawn back against someone’s chest, and a nose was buried in his ear, tongue licking away at the shell.

“Mornin’ baby boy,” a low, husky voice announced causing a pleasant shiver to run down Jared’s spine.

“Uh...” Jared completely forgot what he was about to say when a large hand reached round and stroked his hardening cock through the soft sleep pants he often wore to bed. “Nughhhhhh!”

“I made breakfast,” that voice continued, smoothly, right in Jared’s ear, breath stirring the fine, baby soft hairs on his neck.

By the time Jensen’s hand disappeared under the waist band of Jared’s pants, Jared was panting, keening and begging.

“Pl-please...”

“How dya like your eggs this mornin’ darlin’?”

“D-don’t c-care...” Jared arched his body helplessly in Jensen’s tight embrace, revelling in the feel of hard muscles holding him prisoner, never letting him go.

“Nuhuh. Gotta tell me, Jay,” Jensen purred in his ear. “Would you prefer fried?” his hand stroked the length of Jared’s cock. “Poached?” grabbed Jared’s balls, gently rolling them. “Or scrambled?” Jared gasped and bucked when a finger slid inside him.

“Uh... all three?” Oh God!

Jensen’s deep chuckle sent another shiver down Jared’s spine.

“Atta boy...”

Jared had no idea what kind of happy juice his husband had been chugging, but he hoped like hell there was plenty left. Much more of this and he wasn’t going to last.

“So hot, Jaybird, so damn hot... gonna fuck you. Gonna bend you over and fuck that tight little hole of yours until it’s all you can think about...”

Jared whimpered softly. In fact, what he meant to say was something along the lines of “that’s pretty much all I’m thinking about anyhow!” But the words were lost to him under Jensen’s sweet assault.

Teeth nipped the soft skin at his neck, a second finger was added, arms tightened their hold on him... all served to distract Jared from Jensen’s main goal. Namely the kitchen table. A few seconds later, Jared was face down on the hard pinewood, trapped by Jensen’s gorgeous body. The flash of dish a towel and his wrists were tugged behind his back, the soft cloth securing them in place. Another was bound over his eyes, tied slowly, sensuously at the back of his head, until Jared was ready to scream.

“J-Jen...”

Jensen tutted. “Now, now, baby boy. If you can’t stay quiet, I’m gonna have to gag you.”

Jared’s fingers twitched helplessly round his bonds. He was doing his best to stay silent, but knew for a fact he would fail.

And he proved his own theory when Jensen suddenly ripped down Jared’s pants and thrust two fingers inside him once again. Rubbing, pinching and massaging his prostate, it was pretty obvious what was gonna happen next.

Jared yelped and squirmed, calling out Jensen’s name, begging and pleading.

Jensen grinned. This was exactly what he was hoping for.

“Jaybird,” he tutted again. “You disappoint me...”

Without another word, the final dish towel was rolled up, forced between Jared’s teeth and tied firmly at the base of his skull.

“That’s better,” Jensen cooed. “All gagged, blindfolded, and tied up tight like a birthday present. A very sexy birthday present, one I intend to enjoy to the full.”

Jared panted through his nose, teeth grinding down hard on the gag when those fingers went back to torturing him, over and over, Jensen whispering hot obscenities until his cock felt ready to burst. He whined softly, pushing back onto Jensen’s skilled hand, eyes scrunched shut behind the blindfold from the effort of trying not to come.

Jensen seemed to sense his distress, however, because the next thing Jared knew he’d stepped back. Then came the sound of a belt being unbuckled, then smooth, cool leather wrapped round the base of Jared’s cock, and tightened almost painfully, denying Jared his orgasm.

“Mmmmmph!” he screamed through the cloth in his mouth, the feel of Jensen’s belt engulfing him so hot, so sensual.

“Ssshhhhh, easy now baby boy,” Jensen wound a hand through Jared’s soft hair and gripped, gently pulling his head back to nibble on an ear lobe. “Gonna make you feel so good, but you gotta calm down for me…”

Jared did his best to comply, breathing slow and deep through his nostrils, trying to ignore his raging erection, but lying flat on his stomach, with the hard wood of the table and the soft leather belt rubbing against his throbbing cock, it was an impossible task.

The cloth securing his wrists behind his back was gently tightened, making Jared’s pulse jump, causing the heat pooling low in his belly to spit and crackle like a lava flow. The same was done with the gag, and then the blindfold, as though Jensen was making a point:

Mine. You ain’t goin’ nowhere unless I say so.

“So beautiful, Jaybird,” Jensen ran a finger down Jared’s back, delighting in the shiver that followed in its wake. “My beautiful prisoner. The things I’m gonna do to you, baby boy.”

With no warning, Jensen thrust balls deep inside his captive, impaling the kid and pinning him to the table. Jared’s muffled gasps and moans spurred him on, riding the kid hard and fast.

Flesh smacking on flesh, pants, groans and whimpers filled the kitchen, along with the faint scrape of wood on tile as the table rocked under the force of Jensen’s pounding.

Jared squirmed desperately with sensual overload and began to struggle against his bonds. For which Jensen punished him cruelly by shifting slightly, wrapping his arms under Jared’s hips, and lifting him until Jared virtually hung on Jensen’s cock, the spongy head jammed up tight against his prostate.

“You won’t get away so don’t even try it!”

The speed and pace increased, Jensen upping the ante and pounding into Jared with brute force.

Jared moaned helplessly when he was suddenly yanked up off the table, carried for a few swift steps, then pressed roughly against the kitchen wall, feet barely touching the floor. He’d known Jensen was strong, but this was incredible.

Rough, animal like growls in his ear had Jared’s skin tingling. When Jensen got rough and possessive like this it would mean several days of funny walks, and chair cushions would become essential.

By God it was so worth it!

“M’not gonna let you come until you beg me,” Jensen panted into his ear. “Then after we eat breakfast, I’m gonna fuck you again. I can keep this up for hours. Cockrings. Best invention ever!”

Jared’s head rolled back until it was resting on Jensen’s shoulder.

“Mmmmmphpleeeefffeeee!”

Jensen shook his head and tightened his hold on the boy. “What you say? What do want Jaybird? You’ll have to do better than that.”

“Pleeeefffffeee lefffme ffccoommmme!”

Jensen reached down and untied the belt, releasing Jared’s heavy cock.

“Come for me…”

One final thrust and Jared fell apart in Jensen’s arms.

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Jared blinked.

“You wanna what?”

Jensen grinned and popped another piece of toast into Jared’s mouth, watching that sinful tongue snake out to lick up a droplet of egg yolk. The smell of bacon wafted round the kitchen, and Jensen got up to turn the heat down on the grill.

“Take a break; spend some time with my sexy husband...” Jensen began to feel a little worried at the look of shock on Jared’s face, and shifted nervously from foot to foot whilst dishing up the bacon. “Whadya say, baby boy? Just you and me...” he whispered hopefully.

After another long pause, he was suddenly rewarded with a big, bright smile that brought forth those kissable dimples, and Jensen felt his heart melt.

“But... uh...” the smile faded a little, and Jared nibbled nervously on his bottom lip. “What about the script? Don’t you have to work on that?”

Jensen shook his head, eyes never leaving that red, plump chewed flesh. “That can wait a couple of weeks.”

Jared’s eyes widened, his smile making a comeback. “Two weeks? Really?”

He leapt up, wrapped long arms around Jensen’s waist and buried his nose in his husband’s neck, appreciatively sniffing the spicy cologne.

“Really.” Jensen gave Jared’s cute little ass an affectionate slap. “Now sit and eat!”

He watched in fond amusement as Jared virtually bounced back into his seat with excitement.

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Jared shielded his eyes against the sun. “Wow! This place is amazing!”

An elegant two storey ranch house with a sweeping driveway lined by beautiful red and yellow rose bushes stretched out ahead of him. Dog barked in the distance and Jared watched a couple of horses frolicking in a nearby meadow. There was a calm and relaxing atmosphere about the place that seeped through to the soul like hot chocolate.

“Yup. It’s got everything. Gym, outside pool, en suit bedrooms with spar baths,” Jensen hefted their luggage onto his shoulders with a low grunt.

“Where are the stables?” Jared asked, grinning from ear to ear.

Jensen grinned back. “Round the back. We can go check those out later. C’mon, let’s find Chris and Steve.”

“You found us already!” A loud enthusiastic voice called out and two familiar figures trotted round the side of the house.

Chris immediately grabbed Jensen up in a bear hug.

“Ah man, it’s great to see you.” Chris released his hold and looked Jensen up and down. “How long’s it been?”

Jensen thought about that and felt a little guilty. “Uh, the wedding, I think.”

Yeah, it wasn’t only Jared he’d been neglecting.

But his friends didn’t seem to hold it against him, just cheerfully hugged Jared and ruffled his hair.

“You’re looking tired, dude,” Steve studied Jensen’s face. “Hope you ain’t over doing it.”

“Nah,” Jensen replied easily. “Just had a lot of work recently. But we’re here now.”

Chris took some of the luggage and gestured to the house. “What dya think? Courtesy of my late Uncle Dan.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realise…” Jared began sadly.

Chris waved a hand at him. “He was pretty sick and in so much pain it was a blessing he went quickly. Poor guy had pancreatic cancer.”

Jared wasn’t fooled by the nonchalant attitude; he glimpsed real sadness and grief on his friend’s face, but let it go. There was time enough later if Chris felt like talking.

A loud and sudden rumble from Jared’s gut had them all chuckling, with the younger man blushing and ducking his head with embarrassment.

“I think someone’s hungry,” Steve, observant as always, suddenly stopped and stared intently at Jared, eyes narrowing with suspicion. “You’re looking well, Jay. One might say, positively glowing.”

Jared’s chin shot up, eyes pleading and giving a slight shake of the head.

Fortunately, Jensen was too preoccupied catching up with Chris and hadn’t noticed the lull in conversation.

Steve stared at Jared for another long moment then nodded, eyes now softened with understanding.

“How long?” he uttered softly.

“I just found out last week,” Jared whispered back nervously.

“When are you planning on telling him?” Steve had subtly kept Jared back with him as the four men casually made their way into the house.

“Uh… m’not s-sure.” Jared stammered. “I d-don’t even kn-know if Jensen w-wants kids.”

Steve never got a chance to respond to that, and wouldn’t have known what to say anyhow. Dr Tom Welling appeared in the large hallway, a big welcoming smile on his face and one arm wrapped around the waist of his partner, Mike.

“Hey guys!” Tom called out, happily. “Isn’t this a wonderful place?”

“Damn straight!” Jensen replied. “It’s huge.” He turned to Chris. “How many bedrooms?”

“Fifteen bedrooms on the second floor, each with en suite,” Chris answered promptly.

“Wow!” was all Jared could manage. He was feeling more than a little shaky after Steve so easily figured out his condition, but was reassured when the guy whispered to him before crossing the threshold of the ranch house.

“Don’t worry, man. I won’t say a word.”

But he added with a wink when he saw Tom’s partner.

“Just don’t tell Mike. He’s a great guy, but he’s worse than a fucking sieve for keeping secrets!”

Jared managed a small smile. “Thanks, dude. I’ll try to remember that.”

His gut rumbled again, and he shyly bit his lip. “Sorry.”

Steve laughed aloud. “C’mon. Let’s go get something to eat, guys, before Jared here passes out on us!” he slapped the younger man on the back. “Boy’s got hollow legs. I’m surprised he keeps going for as long as he does.”

Jensen shot Jared a dirty grin. “Oh I can keep him going for hours, huh Jaybird?”

Jared blushed adorably yet again, and Jensen couldn’t help himself. He reached over, tugged the youngster into his arms and kissed the breath out of him. Right in front of their friends.

“Huh.”

“Ahem.”

“Oookkaaaayyy!”

“Wow! That’s pretty hot… ow!” Mike exclaimed and rubbed his arm after Tom delivered sharp warning punch. “I was just sayin’…”

“Yeah, we know what you were just saying.” Tom grinned good-naturedly.

“You ok there, Jaybird?” Jensen asked tenderly when he eventually broke the kiss and pulled back, his arms still wrapped possessively round his husband’s waist. Pretty blue-green eyes stared back at him, dazed, bewildered and filled with lust. “I’ll take that as a yes?”

“Uhuh…” Jared answered with a goofy grin, incapable of saying much more.

“Food! Kitchen!” Steve insisted again, and then noticed the way Tom was gazing at Jared.

Of course he’s gonna guess. The man’s a doctor. He sees this all the time.

Steve wasn’t the only one that saw the slow realization creep across Tom’s face. Jared also caught the look. Gone was their friend Tom, and in his place stood Dr Welling who was watching him with a mix of concern and amazement.

Thankfully Jensen didn’t seem to notice, distracted as his phone trilled out. He released his hold on Jared and turned away, talking in a low voice to whomever was on the line.

Chris raised an eyebrow, but didn’t comment. “I’ll take your bags up to your room a little later, but for now I’ll leave them in here.” He opened the door to a large walk-in cupboard and disappeared from view for a few seconds.

Feeling cornered, with the realisation that two people now knew his secret, Jared felt the blood drain from his face, and his eyes swivelled helplessly between Tom and Steve.

Just as the shock took hold and Jared began swaying, Steve glared pointedly at Tom, then grabbed Jared’s shoulder and dragged him towards the kitchen. Tom wisely got the hint and kept his mouth shut, but he was determined to talk to Jared later on.

Jensen and Chris, by a sheer miracle, completely missed the silent exchange. Once the luggage was deposited, and Jensen ended the call, they just followed their friends into a huge and pleasant kitchen.

Jared didn’t take much notice of his surroundings, just let Steve push him down into a seat at the breakfast island, and sat in silence whilst the others talked and joked around him.

Oh God. How did they figure it out? Do I look any different from usual? I’m not showing yet. Supposing Jensen realises? Will he take us home? Will he be angry…?

A thousand and one questions marched through his tired and confused head, and suddenly he no longer wanted food. His appetite upped and left him high and dry, his stomach twisting and churning with anxiety, and the warm hand cupping his jaw nearly frightened the life out of him.

“Jay? Are you feeling ok, baby boy?” Jensen asked gently, frowning at him worriedly. “You’re looking a little pale there, kiddo.”

“Uh… yeah. M’fine,” Jared nodded, grateful when a few locks of hair swept forward with the movement and covered his eyes. “Just tired. Long journey.”

“Sure,” Jensen thought for a moment, whilst Steve and Chris clattered round the kitchen, putting together a few sandwiches and heating up some soup. “Once we’ve had lunch, why don’t we go take a nap together, huh?” He smoothed back Jared’s hair so he could see those compelling eyes, confused at the sudden flash of… something, and not knowing what the hell to do about it.

He was pretty certain asking Jared outright wouldn’t work. The younger guy would just shrug it off and claim ignorance.

Maybe it’s just my imagination…

But something was going on here. Now that his attention was snagged, Jensen was sure of it.

Tom was busy talking to Mike but just occasionally Jensen noticed him glancing at Jared in what he could only describe as a concerned way.

Jared had nearly died just over a year ago when the step ladder broke and he fell down the stairs. His injuries were horrifying, both legs broken, both lungs punctured… Jensen still felt knotted up with terror just thinking about those days. He’d nearly lost his boy in surgery, and then later when he developed pneumonia from being on the vent for so long. Tom, as Jared’s doctor, had been there through it all, and saved the kid’s life time and again.

Jared was fine now, though he walked with a slight limp, and on damp days he leaned on a cane. But seeing how Tom now watched Jared carefully whenever he thought no one was looking, Jensen was beginning to feel rather alarmed.

“Here ya go.” Steve set a bowl and plate in front of Jensen and Jared. “Home made chicken soup, and my special meatball and barbeque sauce sandwiches.” He winked at Jared. “Plenty of protein for a growing boy.”

Jared smiled weakly and picked up his spoon. He could almost feel Jensen’s heavy gaze on him, and knew his husband was suspicious. After all, a blind man could’ve walked through the kitchen right then and known something was up.

Tasting the soup was a great move, because Jared was groaning loudly with pleasure the moment his taste buds came alive.

“This is pure heaven!”

Jared slurping away at the soup spoon was suddenly causing wonderful things to happen in Jensen’s boxers. Images of Jared sucking on his dick sprang up to accompany those obscene noises and Jensen shifted uncomfortably before taking a seat beside his husband.

Seeing an opportunity for distraction, Jared held his own soup spoon to Jensen’s lips, a shy but sexy grin slowly forming as the older man’s luscious lips closed over it.

“Oh yeah…” Jensen sighed. “That’s good alright!”

But Jared could see by the look in his eyes that the distraction would only work for so long. When Jensen was worried there was no stopping him.

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“He doesn’t know, does he?”

Jared stared fearfully at his doctor, and shook his head.

The two of them sat in the kitchen, the lunch plates packed away in the dishwasher. Steve had taken the hint from Tom’s meaningful glances and shepherded Mike, Chris and Jensen out into the rear garden.

Tom was somewhat troubled by the news.

“Look, Jay,” he began gently. “I think you should tell him sooner rather than later.”

Jared’s eyes widened. “Why? What aren’t you telling me?”

Tom huffed and bit his lip. “All I can say is that I am Jensen’s doctor, too. And he needs to know about the baby…”

“I w-will,” Jared stuttered out anxiously. “I-I just… I-I’m scared…” he swallowed hard and tried again. “Supposing he won’t want me? Us?”

Tom was shaking his head before Jared even finished the sentence. “That’s not going to be the issue, trust me on this.” He met Jared’s gaze. “Have you… uh…. shit… I’m just gonna come out and ask. You can punch me if you want.”

“Huh?” Jared blinked in confusion.

“Have you been faithful to Jensen?” Tom waited for a fist to the face, or a knee to the groin. But he was sadly disappointed when Jared’s eyes welled up with tears.

“Of course I have!” Jared’s bottom lip was beginning to tremble and Tom wasn’t sure just how much more of the sad puppy dog routine he could take. “I’d never cheat on him! I love him!”

Sighing with relief, Tom nodded. He believed Jared was telling the truth.

“Then what?” Jared’s voice rose along with his panic and anger. “Stop being so damn cryptic!”

“Shhh! Calm down!” Tom whispered urgently.

“Don’t tell me to calm down!” But Jared did at least lower his voice.

The two men stared at each other in silence.

There was so much Tom wanted to say but couldn’t.

“Just…” Tom scrubbed a hand down his face. “Just tell him, first chance you get. You’ll see what I mean.” He got to his feet and gently squeezed Jared’s shoulder. “For the record, I think he’ll be thrilled, but give him some time to think it through.”

“Uh… sure.” Jared nodded slowly.

“And I’ll need to see you for regular checkups, ok? Make sure you’re looking after yourself.” Tom glanced at his watch. “Come to my room this evening, around seven, for a blood pressure check.”

“O-ok.” Jared answered in a small voice.

“And Jared?”

“Uhuh?”

“You’re carrying another life inside you. Don’t go so long between meals, huh?”

“HE’S WHAT!?!”

Jared nearly fell out of his seat in shock.

Jensen stood in the doorway, and by the looks of it he was seething. Angry green eyes blasted Jared, hands curled into fists, his once sensuous mouth now twisted with hatred.

Two long strides and Jared was yanked out of his seat.

Tom tried to intervene but a pissed Jensen was a strong Jensen.

Like bull elephant strong.

The doctor was swept aside as Jared was virtually thrown up against the wall.

Wincing in pain when his back collided with hard stone masonry, Jared gazed at his husband, eyes filled with fear.

“J-Jen…”

“Shut up Jared!” Jensen hissed. He shook the kid roughly, not caring that he was hurting him. “Who was he, huh? Who’ve you been fucking behind my back, Jay?”

Jared shook his head, eyes never leaving Jensen’s. “No…”

But Jensen wasn’t going to let him finish.

“Is this my punishment?” Jensen shook him again. “I don’t pay enough attention to you, so you just go fuck some other guy and get knocked up?”

“It’s not like that…” Jared tried again, and flinched when Jensen pulled back and slammed him into the wall again.

“What is it like then, Jay?” Jensen growled furiously. “You sleep with more than one guy? Was it like a fucking lottery for you? Fuck a load of guys and see which one can give you a kid?”

“NO!” Jared finally found the strength to push Jensen away, and backed off, placing the breakfast bar between them. “It’s your… our baby, Jen. I swear it!”

Jensen damn near leapt over the bar, and would have done if Chris and Steve hadn’t walked in at that moment and seen the sheer fury on their friend’s face.

“Get the fuck off me!” Jensen yelled.

“Not until you calm down,” Chris tightened his grip on Jensen’s arms.

“Jen please…” Jared began but stopped when Jensen bucked angrily and tried to throw off his friends.

Realising Chris and Steve weren’t going to let him go until he stopped struggling. Jensen went very still and glared at Jared.

“There is no way that unborn brat of yours is mine!”

Jared watched him, eyes wide with hurt.

“You wanna know why, Jay?” Jensen sneered, his smile twisted and cruel. “I can’t have kids.” He nodded when Jared’s jaw dropped. “Had an operation after I broke up with Daneel. Remember her, Jay?”

Oh Jared remembered her alright. The woman had guessed Jensen was going to end their three year relationship and pretended she was pregnant with his child in order to trick him into marriage. But Jared hadn’t known about Jensen’s operation.

“Ya see, I swore no one would play me like that again,” Jensen’s voice had calmed a little, but his eyes still blazed with anger. “Have you any idea what it’s like, Jay? To be tricked and lied to?”

Jared blinked. Now he understood what Tom had been talking about. He hadn’t known just how badly Daneel’s actions had affected Jensen until now, and it made his heart ache for him.

“Jensen…” Jared moved slowly round the breakfast bar and reached out to grasp his husband’s hand, inwardly sighing with relief when he didn’t resist. “I’m so sorry you got hurt, but I would never do that to you. I’d rather die.”

Placing Jensen’s hand on his belly, Jared added softly “I don’t know how or why, but this is our child. I promise you.”

Jensen’s eyes filled with tears. “That’s impossible,” he sniffed, shrugged away from Chris and Steve, and started backing off towards to the kitchen door. “It’s over, Jared.”

“Jen, no… wait!” Jared, shedding a few tears of his own, made to go after him, but Tom stood in his way.

“Let him go for now,” the doctor smiled sadly. “I’ll talk to him. He just needs to know that sometimes these ops aren’t one hundred percent.”

Jared felt confused by that. “But… weren’t you his doctor for that?”

Tom shook his head. “Nope. He went to see a private specialist. I only found out by accident when I caught a glimpse of him in the clinic. I wasn’t consulted at all. I suspect Jensen didn’t want any of us to know what he was going through,” the young doc peered into Jared’s face. “Go get some rest. You look beat.”

Jared nodded and didn’t resist when Steve gently led him from the kitchen.

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Jared woke early the next day and glanced at the empty space next to him. His heart cracked opened a little more, and he wondered if he’d lost Jensen forever.

“Dammit!” Jared drew his knees up and rested his head on them, shoulders shaking with sudden sobs.

This isn’t fair. I’ve done nothing wrong!

A tentative knock at the bedroom door made him sit up and wipe his eyes.

“Come in,” he called, unable to disguise the fear and hope in his voice.

Steve poked his head round the door with a soft smile. “C’mon kid. Time for breakfast. You’re eating for two now.”

Jared’s smile was shaky at best. “Yeah. Give me five minutes. Uh, Steve?”

Steve shook his head sadly. “They ain’t back yet, but Tom did call to say he caught up with Jen at a bar in the next town. That was around three am so he decided to check them into a motel for the rest of the night.”

“Ok.” Jared pushed back the bed covers, feeling a little better. At least his husband was safe and hadn’t done something stupid.

“Chris, Mike and I are going out on the trail for a few hours,” Steve smiled encouragingly. “You feel up to it?”

Jared thought about that whilst chewing on his bottom lip again. He wanted to be there when Tom brought Jensen back, but maybe his husband wouldn’t want him there. Perhaps some time apart wouldn’t do any harm, and besides, Jared loved horses. He’d been looking forward to this.

“Yeah, why not?”

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“There you are.” Tom huffed out, and flopped onto a sticky bar stool. “You took off pretty fast. Spent all godammed day and night trying to track you down!”

A bleary eyed Jensen looked over at him, gaze a little unsteady. “Whayawanwimme?”

Tom felt sure there was a question in there somewhere and had to run it through his head one more time before he could translate.

“We need to talk, dude.” Tom signalled to the bar tender, a few seconds later a shot of whisky appeared in front of him. “I knew what you did back then. After Daneel.”

Jensen appeared to sober up at least half way when he heard that. “Oh yeah?”

Tom shrugged. “I saw you going into the consultant’s office. Didn’t take a genius to know what you were doing there. I know what the guy specialises in.”

“Uhuh.” Jensen eyed him, warily. “What’s all this got to do my slut husband.”

Tom bit back an angry snort. Instead he kept his cool and explained calmly.

“What exactly did he tell you about the op?”

Jensen sighed tiredly and pinched the bridge of his nose. “You wanna know everything?”

“Yep. Start talking, Ackles.”

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Jared felt his body begin to relax as the morning wore on. During breakfast his friends had assured him Tom would be able to talk Jensen into coming back, that this was all a huge misunderstanding.

But now, with the sun warming his skin, Stetson tilted over his face, the powerful gelding carrying him along the trail, Jared was able to find a little bit of peace.

“Jay! Get a move on!” Chris yelled off in the distance.

Jared smiled. “I’ll catch up in a minute,” he called back.

In truth, he just wanted a little time to himself. Steve must have understood because he nodded at Jared and uttered something to the others, then they all set off at a light canter and disappeared over the hill. Though Jared suspected they wouldn’t go far.

Refusing to think too much, knowing it would only make him anxious and harm the baby, Jared sat comfortably in the saddle and just chilled for a while.

An hour later three horses tethered to a tree came into view and Jared spotted the riders lying out on the grass, snoozing and sunning themselves.

Shaking his head in amusement, Jared passed them by and carried on further down the trail, the smooth gentle rocking motion almost sending him off to sleep.

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Kenny checked and rechecked his hunting equipment.

He wasn’t an official game keeper of the land, but he’d spent the last twenty years keeping the rabbit population down for Dan Cane, and in exchange for his services he got to keep the carcasses. Kenny virtually lived off rabbit meat - there were literally hundreds of ways to cook and prepare rabbit and he’d explored each and every one - and used the skins to make blankets for the local homeless shelter.

Since Dan’s death no one had told old Kenny to stop hunting so he carried on. In fact, he considered it an honour to continue the favour for his old friend.

The new owner, Dan’s nephew, was a nice enough kid.

What was his name again? Charles? Christopher? Christian! That was it!

His memory was getting as bad as his eyesight these days. Good job Dan always made sure to warn him where people were out riding on the estate.

Hitching up his backpack, the corpses of a few unlucky bunnies swinging lightly with the movement, old Kenny flipped off the safety catch on his hunting rifle and moved silently through the trees.

Movement up ahead caught his attention and he grinned.

Looks like deer. Haven’t had venison in a while.

I’m pretty sure no one would notice one deer….

He raised the rifle.

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Tom scratched at the back of his neck.

“Uh, he told you that? Really? What an asshole!”

“Huh?” Jensen frowned at his doctor.

They’d been sitting at the bar for half an hour before Jensen cried into his shot glass, fell off his stool and began snoring away on the bar room floor. Tom hefted the unconscious drunk over his shoulder, carried him out, and checked into a motel across the street.

Jensen had woken up ten hours later to a concerned Tom, Tylenol and plenty of cold water. Now that he was sober, his hangover gradually ebbing away, Jensen was a little more capable of rational thought, and explained more clearly what his consultant had told him about the op.

So yeah, he was a little surprised at Tom’s reaction.

“Jen, listen to me,” Tom sat down on the twin bed, hands clasped between his knees. “The guy’s an arrogant dick. Sure he’s made some advancement over the years with this kind of surgery, and he’s the best there is, but there’s no way he should have told you the op was one hundred percent effective. There’s no such thing. More like ninety-nine. And though its rare, mistakes do happen.”

Jensen blew out a breath. “So… Jared was telling the truth?”

Tom smiled. “A paternity test will clear that up, but for the record, yeah. I’m certain he’s telling the truth. But what does your heart say? Is Jared even capable of cheating on you? Think about it, Jen. The poor guy’s been in love with you since the first moment he met you.”

Jensen blinked back tears. “Oh God! What the hell have I done?” his inner voice recalled the harsh words, the hurt in Jared’s beautiful eyes. “He’ll never forgive me for this... I-I d-don’t d-deserve his f-forgiveness...”

“That’s crap and you know it!” Tom snapped, finally getting angry with his old friend. “You do Jared a disservice if you think he wouldn’t understand.”

Jensen sat up in shock. An expression of anger was such a rarity for Tom that his sharp tone had taken Jensen by surprise. “Yeah, you’re right...” he nodded, then his eyes widened suddenly. ... shit! He’s pregnant!”

Tom broke out into a smile. “That finally sinking in?”

“No... I mean... I hurt him... pushed him into the wall...” Jensen sprang to his feet. “I have to go to him, make sure he’s ok...”

“Relax. His back’s probably a little bruised, but he’ll be fine, Jen.” Tom slapped him on the shoulder. “But as you say, let’s get back to him. He’s likely worried sick about you.”

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Jared decided it was time to turn back. In spite of his best efforts, his thoughts had been centered on Jensen the whole ride.

Though it hurt like hell, his husband’s terrible rant, his wrath and anger, Jared got it. He was pretty sure he’d have felt the same way in Jensen’s shoes. It looked bad.

But then another thought struck him.

Jensen never wanted the chance to have kids. He wouldn’t have gone ahead with the operation if he’d planned to change his mind someday.

Oh God!

Tears began falling again, Jared helpless to stop them. Reining in his mount, he wiped away the salt water and tipped the Stetson further over his eyes.

Deciding it was time to head back, Jared gave the gelding a gentle nudge in the right direction, but just as the horse began to turn a loud crack rang through the air, the sound echoing round, bouncing off trees and boulders alike.

Jared’s body jerked in the saddle, nearly toppling off the gelding, and he gasped at the strange feeling in his gut, like he’d been punched and all the oxygen forced from his lungs. But it was when he looked down, hands pressed against his abdomen that the fear and shock gave way to pain.

Warm blood spilled over his fingers, trickling down and soaking his jeans.

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Mike awoke first, rubbed his eyes and glanced over at his friends. Steve lay sprawled out on his back, hat over his face, with Chris using his chest as a pillow.

His watch told him they’d been asleep for a little over an hour and it was time to make a move before Tom got back to the ranch, and began worrying about their absence.

“Wakey, wakey, boys!” he uttered and poked Chris’ shoulder.

No response.

With a sly grin, Mike selected a long piece of grass, then shuffled quietly over on his butt, and ran the blade of grass down Chris’ face.

The guy snorted, snuffled and flailed with a hand, then settled back into a light snore. But not for long, because Mike wasn’t only famous for his inability to keep his friend’s secrets, but also for his amazingly small boredom threshold, which easily rivalled that of a three year old.

The blade of grass was put to work again, but this time the sharp tip dug straight up Christian’s nostril. The result was inevitable.

Chris shot up into a sitting position, rubbing his nose furiously.

“Fuck off, Mike!”

“You wouldn’t wake up...”

“That fucking hurt you moron!”

Steve cracked open an eye. “You’ll live, sweetheart.” With a loud yawn and a long catlike stretch, he glanced at his watch. “Yep. We should be getting back.”

“Where’s Jared?” Chris suddenly stood and turned on the spot, eyes narrowed against the bright sun.

Mike frowned worriedly. “He wasn’t here when I woke up. And none of us heard him pass us on the trail. Maybe he turned back or something.”

Steve nodded. “That makes sense. Poor kid’s probably tired and worrying himself to death over Jensen.”

Following Mike and Chris, Steve leapt up into his saddle, and the three men set off at a gallop towards the ranch.

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Jensen had fallen into a light doze in the passenger seat of Tom’s Land Rover, head resting against the side window. Tom smiled in amusement. The hangover from hell had clearly taken a lot out of his friend, and now, with the realisation he was going to be a father, after believing for years that it just wasn’t possible, perhaps Jensen was entitled to feel a little overwhelmed.

Tom couldn’t wait to see the look on Jared’s face once he was reunited with his husband.

It would be a moment of sheer joy and contentment, he was certain.

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Jared did his best to stay conscious, but the pain was tremendous. No matter how hard he pressed down on the wound the bleeding wouldn’t stop. It didn’t even slow a little. He knew getting back to the farm, before he fell out of the saddle, was imperative if his unborn child was to stand a chance of surviving.

Reluctantly urging the gelding into a trot, Jared grit his teeth, wound the leather reigns around his hands and held on tight.

Black spots were waltzing across his vision by the time he’d nudged the horse into a full gallop, and the pain had him whimpering and groaning out loud, until his upper torso fell forwards over the horse’s neck, barely holding on.

He thought he heard a voice, shouting and yelling in the distance but his eyes had slid closed against his will. The blood loss was too great, the pain too immense, and Jared’s strength was waning.

He wasn’t going to make it.

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Continued here......

time for us, jared/jensen, nc-17, au

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